Adultery & Divorce - Do Russian Women ever get deported?

[Admin]

It seems the game was up for getting justice with the INSÂÂwith the adultery of a K-visa spouse when in family courtsÂÂthe charge of adultery was no longerÂÂconsidered as grounds. So goes society, so goes the INS.ÂÂ

My simpathy goes out to you C5. I will send you PM with my phone number. We should talk asÂÂI got lots to tell youÂÂon the subject of recovery and moving on. Believe me I understand a thing or two on that subject.

maxx

Claims for Alienation of Affection (adultery) are still viable in a few states. Here is a list of those states in which this claim may be filed:

Hawaii
Illinois
New Hampshire
New Mexico
North Carolina
South Dakota
Utah

Alaska is a question since it has no laws on the topic one way or the other.

All other states have written into law the abolition of the claim for Alienation of Affection or the claim of Seduction.

Feminist groups are largely responsible, or at least, claim responsibility for the abolition of these laws - and are actively working to rid those states listed above of their laws allowing the claims.

Interestingly, in NC and in UT (at least), claims are filed every year with several recent cases resulting in very large monetary awards to the injured party.

FWIW

[Additional Information] I misspoke. In an Alienation of Affection claim, it is NOT mandatory that the act of sexual intercourse be proved - so an act of adultery, per se, is not the basis for Alienation of Affection. An Alienation of Affection claim may arise from someone who acts in any way to distract a wife from her affections towards her husband. On the other hand, the act of sexual intercourse involving a married person (adultery) *is* the basis for a claim of "Criminal Conversation" - another of the claims which most states have abolished - but if the state you reside in considers this a viable claim, Criminal Conversation is often an easier claim to prove and prevail.

Please note that I am NOT an attorney and the above information is offered merely as information. Anyone finding this information applicable to their particular circumstances should contact an attorney for legal advice.

- Dan

[ConnerVT]

Please note that I am NOT an attorney and the above information is offered merely as information. Anyone finding this information applicable to their particular circumstances should contact an attorney for legal advice.

But I do have a reliable source that states that although Dan is not an attorney, he DID stay at a Holiday Inn Select recently... 

/end reference to American TV commercial

[c5driver]

It seems the game was up for getting justice with the INS with the adultery of a K-visa spouse when in family courts the charge of adultery was no longer considered as grounds. So goes society, so goes the INS.   

I'm pretty sure the adultery/abandonment after 4 months will convince the local USCIS investigator that the marriage was fraudulent. So the adultery has some relevence. Her only chance now is the I-360/DV route. If the I-360 process is lame enough to give her a green card with only her signed affidavit of "abuse" (and no other evidence) then she'll get the green card. You'd hope that the folks in Vermont would consider her adultery when adjudicating her I-360, but I doubt it.

Dan, I've considered the Alienation of Affection lawsuit option, but that was done away with a long time ago in my state (California). If this happened in a state where Alienation of Affection lawsuits were valid then I'd have a really good case, because I have witnesses and her boyfriend (whom I'd be suing) has money.

What's so strange about public morality in California is how the conservative politicians are so focused on the "morality" of preventing homosexual marriage, yet they don't care about adultery. A proposition called "defense of marriage" actual passed to keep marriage between homosexuals illegal. But in my mind the real "defense of marriage" would be to crack down on adultery. Homosexual marriage hurts no one, but adultery sure does.

I still need to complete the divorce with her, but she doesn't want to sign the uncontested divorce papers (she thinks she can get something out of me from a 4 month marriage with a prenup, which I doubt she can). I'm not in a rush to finish the divorce, but at some point I will (should be a pretty simple case). Won't be pleasant, maybe some legal fees, but I'll survive.

I've decided that I won't look for another RW - I'll try my luck with AW. It seems like the divorce rate with RW is from 75%-95% (depending on whose number you trust), though statistics are hard to come by. If I get married again I'd want the marriage to last.

[Admin]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Dan, I've considered the Alienation of Affection lawsuit option, but that was done away with a long time ago in my state (California). If this happened in a state where Alienation of Affection lawsuits were valid then I'd have a really good case, because I have witnesses and her boyfriend (whom I'd be suing) has money.

I'll tell you what is even stranger. In most states, marriage is considered a legal binding contract. Yet, if you were to try to sue for 'contractual interference' (a valid claim in nearly all states), most state judiciaries will bar (or dismiss) your claim as being merely "heart balm" and not actionable.

So the simple question for most state legislatures is: Is a marriage to be considered a legally-binding contract? If so, then all the same legal protections and claims need to apply to a marriage contract as to any other contract - including actionable claims should someone elect to interfere with that contract.

What's so strange about public morality in California is how the conservative politicians are so focused on the "morality" of preventing homosexual marriage, yet they don't care about adultery. A proposition called "defense of marriage" actual passed to keep marriage between homosexuals illegal. But in my mind the real "defense of marriage" would be to crack down on adultery. Homosexual marriage hurts no one, but adultery sure does.

If you review the list of states which still allow AoA claims, they are states in which there is still significant protection of the institution of families. Utah and North Carolina being paramount among them. In NC in the past couple of years there have been jury awards exceeding $1 million for the plaintiff in claims of this sort. Clearly, there is a place for this sort of claim - and not only in a few states.

I still need to complete the divorce with her, but she doesn't want to sign the uncontested divorce papers (she thinks she can get something out of me from a 4 month marriage with a prenup, which I doubt she can). I'm not in a rush to finish the divorce, but at some point I will (should be a pretty simple case). Won't be pleasant, maybe some legalfees,but I'll survive.

Do NOT underestimate the damage the legal system can create in your life. My opinion (and NOT a legal one) is that a person should be extremely aggressive with seeking the very best attorney you can find - and if at all possible, suspend your concern over the costs of that attorney. Reason being - no matter how much that attorney will cost you, if you are facing a rabid, vindictive, irrational, hate-mongering, GREEDY opponent, the costs of your attorney will pale in comparison to the costs if you have a lesser attorney and lose your case.

I've decided that I won't look for another RW - I'll try my luck with AW. It seems like the divorce rate with RW is from 75%-95% (depending on whose number you trust), though statistics are hard to come by. If I get married again I'd want the marriage to last.

That is a personal decision - and one that is probably a natural reaction to the experience you have suffered. I would point out the truth to your comment that there are NO RELIABLE STATISTICS - and challenge the veracity of the percentages you claim.

I know quite a few couples personally - and while a few marriages have predictably been dashed on the rocks, most are pretty solid and the percentages of those I know personally would be radically different than your stated percentages.

FWIW

- Dan

[RacerX]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

It seems like the divorce rate with RW is from 75%-95% (depending on whose number you trust), though statistics are hard to come by. If I get married again I'd want the marriage to last.

I don't know where you got those numbers because there is so little concrete data available.  Most long-term observers generally conclude the success rate is better than the average AM/AW numbers partially because the men are a little more selective and the women (at least those who have experienced some success) somewhat more genuine than AM. IIRC, the leading conflict in marriages is/was money, and that issue is generally on the back-burner for the vast majority of men taking this venture.

I think if you just let some time pass (a couple of years) it is more than likely your attitude will change... IMHO.  But then again, this ain't called the "American Women Discussion" board. ::cool:

[jb]

Divorce used to be much harder.  That was before the day of the "No Fault Divorce".  People used to have to show an actual reason why a marriage should be dissolved.  The liberal left, at the insistance of the feminazi movement, and with a lot of help from the lawyer infested legislatures, have removed most of those old obstacles, now, in most states, one may only have to say that the marriage is "irritreivably broken" to get single again in a hurry.  

Oddly enough, some states are now questioning the wisdom of the "No Fault" laws, saying that such laws are promoting single parent families by making it so easy to termininate the marriage.  There is mounting evidence that says that quickie divorces are detrimental to the upbringing of children, that children raised in a home where people can change partners so easily, and so often, are less likely to take marriage vows seriously when their time at the altar comes around.

However, I digress from the topic, I would think the "no fault" laws would be helping c5 in his case.  If you file the lawsuit, and can show good service of the lawsuit, having the papers served by the Sheriff's deputy is best, but you can even send the papers via registered mail in most places, and as long as she, or someone in her residence, signs the postal receipt, you are home free.  Your lawyer gets a court date and if she fails to show up to object, you get your divorce by default.  A divorce is, after all, a civil matter.  Her status as a resident, legal or illegal, should not be a consideration in a divorce proceeding.  Close proximity to the State of Nevada should also be at the forefront of your mind, IIRC, Nevada divorces are recognized in all 50 states and the residence requirement is only 6 weeks.  Renting an apartment across the State line for a month and a half might be something to consider.

Like Dan, I'm not a lawyer, so nothing I've said here should be considered to be legal advice, but I think you should have a serious heart-to-heart talk with your legal beagle concerning how to best approach the problem.  The important thing is to get yourself free of this woman before she can cause real damage, so far the only thing hurt is your pride, but that could change.

[Maxx]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

I still need to complete the divorce with her, but she doesn't want to sign the uncontested divorce papers (she thinks she can get something out of me from a 4 month marriage with a prenup, which I doubt she can). I'm not in a rush to finish the divorce, but at some point I will (should be a pretty simple case). Won't be pleasant, maybe some legal fees, but I'll survive.

This is something we touched on at the beginning of this thread. She needs to file her I-360 BEFORE the divorce becomes final or the CIS will not consider her petition.

The thing I have noticed is that these women file these petitions after some delay. One would think they would be in a rush to submit such an important petition but often times months go by before they do. I will give my ex-wife's handeling of her's as an example.

Elvira was always in a big rush to get all her "documents" done as soon as possible. We went to the INS service center to get her EAD card done (they did them on the spot here). We finished after all day from early morning to 4 PM. When we came out of the service center she said to me "Now we get Social Security Card". She wanted this that day not the next. So down to the SSA office we went. It was closed when we got there. The next morning we were there. We did not get the cards but we got a computer printout of the numbers (Her's and her son's). On the way back from the office she wanted me to stop at the driver's license bureau to get her learner's permit. She had taken the written test already but needed a SSA number to get her permit. I did not know where this place was. So I suggested we call her Russian friend who helped her with the test to get directions to this place. Elvira was in such a rush she wanted me to stop and use a phone booth instead of calling from home (I had no cell) 10 minutes away. She wanted to save 10 minutes of time. When I said I wanted to call from home and insisted on this as it was only 10 minutes away she said "I will call the police". We tried a gas station but their phone was out of order.

The object of me telling the above story is to show how big a rush my ex-wife was about her documents. So.... why did she not file an I-360 on me as soon as she got her quicky-easy-to-get protective order? (July 30th 2003) as proof of her being abused? In fact according to I.C.E. on October 30th 2003 she still had not filed the petition as it did not show on the INS computer and the Minnesota service center still had her perminent INS file (a request was made to have it forwarded to her new service center in another State and not the VSC (yet)).  

So why the month after month delay on filing the I-360 when she could not wait 10 minutes before on all the rest?

I believe that the delay is to make sure every "i" is dotted and every "t" is crossed. Affidavits, plausable story written, official "proofs" and so on... This petition is VERY important. So that is why:

1) You must be careful about her trying to get "evidence" of abuse on you

2) She may be delaying the divorce until she files her petition

 

I've decided that I won't look for another RW - I'll try my luck with AW. It seems like the divorce rate with RW is from 75%-95% (depending on whose number you trust), though statistics are hard to come by. If I get married again I'd want the marriage to last.

 

These are completely understandable feelings. In time if you maintain contact with Russian people through this board or other means your feelings may soften. After this experience you will be a much more perceptive man as to deceptive and/or flakey women. In the meantime you probably will be overly sensitive and suspicious especially about RW. I know I was.

I believe that making a good and wise choice of a good and solid RW is bettering your chances of having a long time to 'death do us part' marriage.  

Maxx

 

[c5driver]

I-360 Requirements:

"There are seven basic requirements for a woman to qualify to self-petition:

• The woman must have married the US citizen or green card holder. [/*]
  
• The marriage must have been a good faith marriage. [/*]
  
• The wife must have lived with the spouse. There is no minimum period, but the shorter the time, the harder it is to show a good faith marriage. [/*]
  
• The woman must still be married to her husband. If there is a final divorce, she can't self-petition. However, if the application is filed while a divorce is pending but not final, then the divorce will not terminate the petition. [/*]
  
• The wife must be of good moral character [/*]
  
• The spouse must show "extreme hardship" if either she or her child was forced to leave the United States. [/*]
  
• The wife must show that she or her child has suffered physical abuse or extreme mental cruelty from her spouse"

[/*]
I wonder if  the good faith marriage, "shorter the time, harder it is to show a good faith marriage", and "good moral character" (due to her adultery) requirements would stop my RW's petition. Personally I don't think she meets any of these requirements. I wonder if the local USCIS fraud officer determines fraud, then will the VSC determine that the "good faith marriage" requirement wasn't meet?

[c5driver]

2) She may be delaying the divorce until she files her petition

Hi Maxx,

Yes, she seems to be delaying the divorce for some reason (she doesn't agree to sign papers and doesn't try to negotiate for money). She and her boyfriend were trying to blackmail me into going to her interview to get the papers signed.

Delaying the divorce for the I-360 seems possible, though not the most likely explanation. A divorce takes 6 months (at the very very earliest) from the day the papers were served to be final. So our divorce couldn't be final until Jan 2006 at the earliest. I'd think that would have given her more than enough time to get her I-360 in.

C5driver

[c5driver]

Maxx,

I found this in a google search (http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/immigration.shtml):

"A self-petition may also be filed if the marriage to the abusive spouse was terminated, within the two years prior to filing, by divorce related to the abuse."

I think this loophole would let her wait 2 years after the divorce before filing.

The I-360 is just one big loophole.

c5driver

[Maxx]

This post is very long but it full of information and detail in regard to these abuse petitions. It would be valuable for anyone who gets into middle of these situations to read through this post and see the bureaucratic maze that dealing with the CIS (INS) has become. No wonder most people throw up their hands and say "I give up!" and just go about their lives.

Below interchange between a woman with a foriegn spouse and a man who has employment experience with a social services legal aid (like in a shelter) with the specialty of filing abuse petitions (I-360's) with the Vermont Service Center. C5driver should find this information valuable.

I am hoping someone out there can help me. I am the USC. I brought my husband her from Armenia on a fiance visa. After the marriage he became increasingly verbally abusive, and started to become violent ( He threw all our groceries at the front of our apartment, broke the front door in, and threatened to beat me-- at the time I was 2 months pregnant and we had only been married 4 months) Needless to say I left him, withdrew his I-130, and filed for a divorce. He refused to sign the divorce. After I left him he started telling people that I was "bad" to him, so bad that the only thing I didn't do is "kill" him, but I tried to do that becasuse he "almost died from fammine" because he had "no food, money or transportation." However the truth of the matter is that when I left him he had a job, and I paid all the bills for the next month after I left him. He also emptied the joint account twice and I was stuck paying the overdraft fees. The house was also stocked with the almost $200 dollars worth of groceries that he threw against the front of our apartment. Now over a year later he has threatened to take my son to Armenia, and he is suing me for partial custody. I have just found out that the reason he is still in the USA is because he has filed the I-360 and his approval letter says that deportation will be deferred for 15 months while his file is processed. What does all this mean, and what can I do???????

 
To which she got this answer from a man who used to work on I-360 abuse petitions
 

Since you have mentioned that he received a letter from USCIS saying that Deportation for him is deferred for 15 months then I'm 100% sure that he has filed for I-360. It is not an approval letter though; instead this letter is about telling him that USCIS has decided not to initiate a deportation proceeding against him for the next 15 months. Everyone who files this petition receives such letter, but deferred period could be varying case-by-case basis. The officer who is handling his I-360 petition knows that 15 months are enough for him to adjust his status. He would also receive a letter very shortly as a result of filing this petition for allowing him to receive public assistances. A lot of benefits are provided to those who file this petition.

I-360 is a self-petition wherein aliens don't need a US citizen or LPR-spouse to sponsor them. They can get green card based upon their own. That's why it is called-self-petition. However, this petition is needed to be filed based upon abuses. Abuses could be emotional and mental ones as well, and not necessary physical ones alone. But everything needs to be documented. Plus, a lot of evidentary documents are required to get approval on I-360. But gathering of all those required documents is not that hard if someone is very bright or if s/he has a smarty to guide him/her.

I don't know what information you are looking here. Do you want to divorce him? Do you want to make him deported? Just let you know that no govt. agency would care to your details of what wrong he did to you except divorce judge, nor those details would play any role in achieving anything positive except gaining emotional support. Also, it doesn't matter whether or not he signs divorce paper because divorce judge is the only one who decides whether parties should be divorced once a petition of divorce is filed. But then you would need to wait for 'No Fault' divorce, which is based upon the separation time of party. This separation time varies state to state. When someone says that s/he doesn't want to sign divorce papers, then it is actually referred to disagreement of one or more issues alleged on the Divorce Complaint. Those issues could be spousal alimony, child support, child custody, distribution of marital assets, tort claims, attorney's fees and a ground for divorce itself. If both parties sign the divorce paper, then it means that they agree to everything mentioned on divorce complaint mutually. As a result, they don't need to wait separation period because they claim on divorce complaint that they were separated for that long as their state's matrimonial laws required.

I've a very bad news for you. I-360 is a very confidential petition and USCIS is strictly prohibited to tell or share any information about I-360 with anyone except with govt. agencies. So naturally, USCIS won't tell you anything if you would choose to contact them. Besides, it is now between him and them, and not you in between. Once you withdrew paperwork that you filed for him prior to adjudication of his I-485, you are completely out of this game. By the way, I wonder why did you file I-130 for him if your husband entered here on fiancé visa?

Nevertheless, I want you to write to I-360 Unit in Vermont very clearly and specifically that your husband filed this petition based upon false information and that you are very sure that he has fabricated everything just to be legal here, therefore his case should be investigated carefully. Do not mention them anything what he did to you and about any other concerns of you like custody of child and etc. Also, don't forget to include his full name, date of birth, country of birth and his Alien number. It should be typed it in and not handwriting, and send it thru overnight mail because this petition gets adjudicated in a few days and not in weeks regardless of what timeframe would be mentioned. This petition is adjudicated only in Vermont regardless of where petitioner resides. This is the address wherein you would need to send the request-

U.S. Department of Homeland Security
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services
Vermont Service Center
75 Lower Welden St.
Saint Albans, Vermont 05479
Attn: I-360 Unit

I can bet you my life that your husband has someone who is helping him; otherwise he would not have dared to file this petition. He was told that he is not allowed to adjust his status in the United States since he entered here on fiancé visa. This petition is the only option he has in order to live here without leaving the United States first. So, he did everything systematically with careful planning. Time is the essence in your situation. You need to move fast if you don't want him to get his residency based upon false allegations against you about abusing him in the marriage. Though nobody will ask you whether you abused him or not, but it would remain in the record with federal govt.

Good Luck.

 
Her followup question:
 

Does the USCIS really grant the I360 without doing any type of investigation? I can't believe that they grant these with in a matter of a few days, especially after all the processing someone has to under go in order to enter the USA. When I withdrew my petition for him I also included in my letter information about him not having complete police records for all the places he has lived when he filed for his fiance visa, he lied about his current place of residence when filing for K-1 visa, He worked illegally when coming to the USA before EAD came through, and he also brought his sister here on a visitors visa, but found jobs for here as a nanny for the 6 months she was here. Also the whole time he was here he was trying to find someone to marry his brother (he even asked my mom on multiple occasions) He made comments that it would be easy to bring his brother over on a K-1 visa because he knew how to do it now. I gave them lots of information about him-- and I made sure that his Alien number was on the documentation. Doesn't this information stay with his file. Won't they take all information into consideration before just granting him approval on a fraudulent I360. I truly believe that he just used me to come here.

 
Her final reply from the above man:
 

First and foremost, I would like you to know that I was specialized in handling VAWA cases (I-360s). As a matter of fact, I started my career by handling these kinds of cases with non-profit immigration advocacy agency sponsored by State. Thus, I believe I know all the nitty-gritty of VAWA proceedings. I can even tell you how many officers are assigned in I-360 unit to adjudicate these petitions and what kind of training they were given in order to dispose this petition.

Hence, I think you chould trust me on my information about this petition. I'm 100% certain on my information. Besides, I've no other purpose here except just to help you out. It takes at most 3-4 weeks to have decision on this petition once it's filed, believe me. Of course, it could stretch 1-2 weeks more if USCIS would require a missing or additional document(s) or information thru RFE (Request for Evidence) to close the deal. Officers who handle this application are well trained for this petition, so naturally they know what to look for in order to approve this petition, which decreases the overall processing time more drastically. USCIS have 15 officers to handle I-360 cases. And since not many immigrants file this petition, these officers are pretty much free most of the times, which means-enough time in their hands to chitchat.

Further, no FBI criminal background check or any other security check is done for this petition. Rather USCIS requires applicant to submit only 'Good Moral Character' certificate from local police along with this petition, which is very easy to obtain anyway within a day or so. USCIS doesn't do any investigation for this petition as well unless somebody reports to them about fraud or if they suspect it by their own. They actually decide a case based upon provided evidneces.

However, mostly immigration attorneys (98% of them) don't advise an alien to file this petition if alien doesn't have any solid documentary evidence of battery despite of really being battered, unless attorney is a crook one or a lot of money is thrown in attorney's way, which seems to be the case here with your husband's attorney; otherwise one has to wonder why this attorney is representing your husband when there is no obvious sign of battery/abuse is seen. But as you know well that money does talk.

This quick approval on I-360 is very important for those aliens who have a pending green card application (I-485) with USCIS for some time which was previously filed based upon I-130. Because if they are able to get approval quickly on I-360 then they can keep continue on their pending I-485 even if US citizen/LPR withdraws I-130 and Affidavit of Support forms for them. This way aliens don't need to re-file I-485 all over again, which would be a complete waste of time and money otherwise.

Afterwards, the pending I-485 would be adjudicated based upon approved I-360 rather than based upon previously filed I-130 (which was filed by US citizen/LPR). Green card application (I-485) is always filed by alien even if it goes along with I-130 (filed by US citizen or LPR family member of alien) or I-140 (filed by employer). Also, submitting an Affidavit of Support form is waived for those who adjust their status based upon I-360 petition. Your husband having worked without any authorization in the past would automatically be forgiven as his I-360 is resulted because of his marriage to you, a US citizen.

Whatever letter you have written to USCIS about his "holy deeds", if that was not sent to right unit and office in the USCIS, then it is useless because they won't see it at the time of adjudicating any petition/application for him. Any of this letters needs to be contained/noted/filed in his actual file than in some "outbox". I-360 is a separate petition and is adjudicated only in Vermont. You should send a copy of your that letter to this unit in VT and another copy to it to local office as well. Once his I-360 gets approved, his I-485 would be adjudicated in local office based upon that approval.

Make sure not to mention in your letter about your personal differences with him, your concerns of your son custody or anything irrelevant; rather you should focus only on immigration wrongdoing done by him or whatever you believe him to have done wrongly so far. But try your best to make sense point-by-point to understand than just bragging about his deeds in the heat of passion.

And as I said earlier that a lot of documentary evidences are required to get an approval on this petition, then obviously his lawyer might have advised him of ways to obtain those required documents. Thus, I suspect that your husband might have filed a false police report against you to establish a documentary evidence for this petition. Anyone can lodge a complaint with police. If a charge is not going to be pressed, police don't bother to call or arrest the accused person. Police always ask the complainant whether s/he would like accused to be arrested if police don't notice any sign of a crime has been committed. This kind of police report is called-'He said-She said".

Filing a false police report is a crime (felony). And if you would come to know about him filing a false report against you, you may press the criminal charge against him. This would be one of the grounds for USCIS to deport him. I'm sure that your husband must have obtained/arranged some documents from psychotherapist as well based upon fabricated tales against you. And I'm sure he might have incriminated and fabricated a lot of other stuffs as well to prevail in this I-360 game.

Though these documents or fabrications won't cause any problem to you as far as USCIS is concerned, but I'm sure your husband would use those damaging documents in divorce proceedings against you to jeopardize your rights and interests, especially for requesting the court to grant a full custody of your son. Thru these documents he will try to establish that you are an abuser and dangerous to the child. He may also use those documents to sue you in civil court for tort claims. Tort claims can be filed either on divorce complaint during divorce proceeding or after the divorce as a separate action in a civil court.

Don't rely on congresspersons for any help in your ordeal. They cannot do anything for you because your issues are something different which are relevant to courts and not to USCIS. USCIS has no jurisdiction on US citizens. Time is the essence here. Remember? Wasting your time on congresspersons and not moving quickly would compromise your rights and interests.

About you having withdrawn I-130 for him, then I'm not questioning whether or not you filed/withdrew this petition, rather I'm saying that you did not need to re-file this petition because you already filed this petition with USCIS when you started the fiancé visa processing for your husband. It was already approved. That's why your husband was able to obtain fiancé visa (K-1) at abroad. This petition is adjudicated only once. All you guys needed to do was just attach the approval notice of this petition along with his I-485. That's all.

During the interview, officer would have told you guys the same thing what I'm telling you if you would have gone to AOS interview. Did you file his paperwork thru attorney or yourself? If thru an attorney, then that attorney must have been a rookie or stupid one; otherwise that attorney should have known that a new I-130 petition is not filed with I-485 for AOS for those who entered here on fiancé visa, rather applicants need to submit only the copy of previously approved I-130 along with I-485. But Affidavit of Support Form must be filed altogether.

How long have you been married? If your marriage is less than 4 months, you might consider to amend your pending divorce petition for annulment of your marriage. If that is something interests to you then you should be claiming for annulment on the ground of immigration fraud by claiming that he defrauded you into marrying with him for the sole purpose of obtaining immigration benefit, which you knew nothing until only now. This way, he cannot get green card no matter what. And even if he gets approval on I-360 or gets full green card, everything would be revoked altogether once you would notify to USCIS about this annulment with proof of annulment decree. Because annulment means there was never been a legal marriage and he is seeking an immigration benefit based upon a LEGAL marriage to you.

However, you must need to have convincing proof(s) for judge to make a ruling in your favor; otherwise don't be surprised if judge would dismiss this claim. Because mostly family court judges (96%) are reluctant to make an adversary ruling against immigrants on annulment claim on the basis of immigration fraud. They just don't want to get involved with immigration matter. That's why the first question they would ask him whether it would be a problem to him if marriage gets annulled. And since his attorney would surely (100 billion%) advise him to contest this ground of annulment then obviously your husband would request the judge not to annul the marriage; otherwise it would be a death warrant for his immigration thrust.

I would like to tell you something very important and hope you would care to give it a thought at least. You need to understand that your husband might have been an abuser, user, cheater, liar, opportunist, manipulative or you name it; or he might have treated you (and your family, friend, children) very badly, unfairly, and inhumanely; or he might have dogged you out, used you systematically with planning from the ghetto and etc.etc..etc, yet still USCIS won't be involved to take any action against him if you won't provide a solid or convincing evidence to prove that he has defrauded US govt. for immigration benefit. He is being a VERY bad person, doesn't necessarily mean he has committed immigration fraud.

I'm 100% certain that you're darn sure on your conviction on the fact that he definitely used you with careful and systematic planning to come over here, but ask yourself what do you have to prove your belief/conviction on this to US govt.? Do you honestly believe US govt. would act upon your 'Hear say'? Without any evidence/witness, these kinds of allegations are called 'He says-She says' in the court and don't carry any weight to prevail.

The truth is- USCIS would need to have more than a smell of immigration fraud to play a "twist" game with him to come up to your expectations. Otherwise, don't expect anything from them. They would also need to answer to Courts as each alien appeals the case up to US District Court. Fraud is a matter of criminal investigation and the burden to prove such claim would lie upon USCIS.

Actually USCIS position is-US govt. cannot be involved in a "mouse-cat" game with US citizens whenever US citizens wish to play it. According to them, US citizens first wish govt. to get convinced about their relationship with alien-spouse as a bona fide relationship so that govt. could grant their alien-spouse an immigration benefit, but when something goes wrong in the relationship later on, then US citizens wish govt. to deport their alien-spouse after snatching whatever immigration benefit was previously granted to alien-spouse.

Some US citizens evem wish US govt. to change their immigration laws/rules about granting immigration benefit to alien once their relationship ends. I find it amusing without any offense. I mean-they did not complaint about the same laws and rules before. If USCIS would change their laws for immigrant-spouse, then I'm sure millions of US citizens would complaint to govt. for being unfair. Anyway, govt. doesn't work this way. US citizens cannot involve US govt. in their personal fight/differences. And, don't forget that alien also has left everything back in home to live here. It could be anything, even peace or whatever.

I'm not saying what is fair and what is not. If you ask about my personal opinion, then I'm in your side. I don't care what a person did because if I was dogged out by someone then I don't wish that person to dance here on my expense. Thus, I would very much like to see this person to be deported, one way or another. But the reason for me to have explained all this to you above is just so that you would know when USCIS would think to move in this kind of situation/mess. Also, I just don't want you to spend your valuable time and energy in matters, which won't bring a closure to your ordeal.  

 
Maxx

[c5driver]

However, mostly immigration attorneys (98% of them) don't advise an alien to file this petition if alien doesn't have any solid documentary evidence of battery despite of really being battered, unless attorney is a crook one or a lot of money is thrown in attorney's way, which seems to be the case here with your husband's attorney; otherwise one has to wonder why this attorney is representing your husband when there is no obvious sign of battery/abuse is seen. But as you know well that money does talk.
 
Maxx

Maxx,

Thanks for the post and the phone call.

Based on what this "expert" is saying "solid documentary evidence of battery" is required. Which is going to be hard to get since nothing happened. Maybe that's why she wanted to blackmail me into lying at her USCIS for her green card.

c5driver

[Maxx]

However, this petition is needed to be filed based upon abuses. Abuses could be emotional and mental ones as well, and not necessary physical ones alone. But everything needs to be documented. Plus, a lot of evidentary documents are required to get approval on I-360. But gathering of all those required documents is not that hard if someone is very bright or if s/he has a smarty to guide him/her.

Of course this was said in addition to what you quoted.

Not mentioned in the above post is the influence of the EOIR (Executive Order of Immigration Review). This is policing judicial oversite group of immigration judges and their support personel who restrict the CIS from taking certain actions. I am sure CIS officials would like to see this group disolved as it would make their jobs easier and deportation just a matter of their say so.

From what I gathered in the above post is that any case that has any credible evidence and is complete will be approved because the CIS knows that an appeal process can be filed with the Federal courts (EOIR). They do not want this because it takes up their time and money. So my guess is they work with the petitioner with RFE's and provisions to let the petitioner answer any questions they may have in regard to 'petition unfriendly information' that may be in their files that in your case and mine was added by friendly/helpful CIS personel. The sole reason is their desire to pass these petitions through is so that immigration attorney's do not challenge them in Federal court. The truth or justice of the case is not the issue with them. It is the ease of their jobs that they concern themselves with.    

Maxx  

   

 

[c5driver]

However, this petition is needed to be filed based upon abuses. Abuses could be emotional and mental ones as well, and not necessary physical ones alone. But everything needs to be documented. Plus, a lot of evidentary documents are required to get approval on I-360. But gathering of all those required documents is not that hard if someone is very bright or if s/he has a smarty to guide him/her.

Of course this was said in addition to what you quoted.

Not mentioned in the above post is the influence of the EOIR (Executive Order of Immigration Review). This is policing judicial oversite group of immigration judges and their support personel who restrict the CIS from taking certain actions. I am sure CIS officials would like to see this group disolved as it would make their jobs easier and deportation just a matter of their say so.

From what I gathered in the above post is that any case that has any credible evidence and is complete will be approved because the CIS knows that an appeal process can be filed with the Federal courts (EOIR). They do not want this because it takes up their time and money. So my guess is they work with the petitioner with RFE's and provisions to let the petitioner answer any questions they may have in regard to 'petition unfriendly information' that may be in their files that in your case and mine was added by friendly/helpful CIS personel. The sole reason is their desire to pass these petitions through is so that immigration attorney's do not challenge them in Federal court. The truth or justice of the case is not the issue with them. It is the ease of their jobs that they concern themselves with.    

Maxx  

   

 
[/quote]
Maxx,

These 2 sections of this "expert's" post seem to contradict each other. Who knows what will happen.

c5driver

 

[Bruno]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

These 2 sections of this "expert's" post seem to contradict each other. Who knows what will happen.

What is the problem... so situation is usual in administration... make the test... visit one administration, ask the same simple question to 3 different clerk... wonder, you will have 3 different reply...

What will happen... only God know it... only i hope he don't work for administration

:D:D

 

 

[c5driver]

How do I stop loving my RW? My heart is so broken that I don't worry about money or immigration. I'm just devasted. The holidays make it worse.

We were married for 4 months and we our minor disagreements (she admits to being extremely sensitive). I went on a trip and discovered her commiting adultery with my neighbor. She said she would stop (but continued the adultery behind my back). Finally she moved in with him.

Looking back on things I wish I had been more careful in the words I spoke to her because she's so sensitive (I never yelled at her or called her bad words - she's just senstive about "my house" vs "our house" and other things). She said I couldn't bring my ex-wife's baby (not related to me) into our house, which caused some disagreement (it hurt her when she saw me kissing this baby). She also said it hurt her when I kissed my daughter (I guess because it wasn't her daughter). Now I wish I'd never wanted to be in this baby's life - it was only a baby, why would my RW hate this baby so? But she did.

Today I saw her standing outside my neighbor's house. Very difficult.

It's been 6 months and I still love her. I think I'll always love her.

It's just so fustrating because I wish she'd given the marriage a chance. She said she liked her BF's personality more than mine because his personality was "more like a Russian". She said she didn't have conflicts with him (which surprises me because he's so sensitive).

How do I get over her?

c5driver

[Bruno]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

It's been 6 months and I still love her. I think I'll always love her.

How do I get over her?

I have know similar situation with my previous russian wife... it have almost destroy me...

The problem is that at the end of a relation, your heart is empty... several people fill the emptiness with hate... but if you are not able to feel hate, these emptiness hurt a lot...

How i have go over ? Very simply, search a new one woman, search someone feeling the emptiness of my hearth... and i have find someone, but again, the destiny was again me, she have betray me... but the positive result of these misluck relation was that i have fully forget my previous wife... and that i have continue my quest for the right one...

You need to realise that you life is not stopped due to your misluck marriage... you need to move on... the path of life is a long way... stopping and cry is a wasting of your life time and lead to nothing... continue the walk, open new door, search the right path to hapiness...

 

[KenC]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

How do I stop loving my RW? My heart is so broken that I don't worry about money or immigration. I'm just devasted. The holidays make it worse.

There isn't a woman alive that is worth being with if you can't trust her.  Go on a trip to Thailand or Ukraine, get laid, get drunk and have some fun.  You deserve it and it will get your mind off the two timing bitch.

We were married for 4 months and we our minor disagreements (she admits to being extremely sensitive). I went on a trip and discovered her commiting adultery with my neighbor. She said she would stop (but continued the adultery behind my back). Finally she moved in with him.

Don't look for excuses for her bad behavior.  There are none except her lack of good character.  There are people of good and bad character in this world, you married one with bad character.  Nothing you could or can do will ever change her character.

Looking back on things I wish I had been more careful in the words I spoke to her because she's so sensitive (I never yelled at her or called her bad words - she's just senstive about "my house" vs "our house" and other things). She said I couldn't bring my ex-wife's baby (not related to me) into our house, which caused some disagreement (it hurt her when she saw me kissing this baby). She also said it hurt her when I kissed my daughter (I guess because it wasn't her daughter). Now I wish I'd never wanted to be in this baby's life - it was only a baby, why would my RW hate this baby so? But she did.

See above. (These are all excuses for bad behavior)

Today I saw her standing outside my neighbor's house. Very difficult.

Next time you see her think "two timing whore"

It's been 6 months and I still love her. I think I'll always love her.

You are in love with the fantasy that you never had.  You wanted a faithful loving wife.  You didn't have one!  Ever!  And you will get over her.

It's just so fustrating because I wish she'd given the marriage a chance. She said she liked her BF's personality more than mine because his personality was "more like a Russian". She said she didn't have conflicts with him (which surprises me because he's so sensitive).

How do I get over her?

c5driver

Good phucking riddance!  Your neighbor did you a favor in taking your garbage out.  He too will be crying in time.  Don't dwell on what you never had.  Get a new woman and this time make sure she is a good one!

KenC

[Maxx]

C5, I got your message on my answering machine. I tried calling you about 3 times over the weekend. I left some messages. I could tell you are down.  

You know the standard lines such as she is not a good woman etc. Frankly that knowledge will do you no good. Realize all the things that worked her way into your heart are not unique about her. Heck man there is about 10's of millions of other women in the FSU, Thailand or Philippines that could do the same thing for you or better.    

I sent my Green Card Girl questionnaire out to you guys. The one thing that all GCGs do is try their best is to shread a man's self image. Some of the stuff they do is too shocking for me to repeat. Yours was actually pretty tame.

I sent your questionnaire anonymously to a psychologist who is sympathetic to us men for his evaluation. Here is his comments in blue. My questions in black and your answers are in red. I think it will help you get a better understanding of what kind of women you married.

Maxx,

VERY interesting! I think we should find ways to have the guys interested in telling their stories to also approach the subject from an EMOTIONAL point of view ( what they "felt" ) and not only the rational one. We get more out of it then.
My comments:

Did she express any bitterness against other men? a father? ex-husband(s)?

Abusive father and boyfriends

VERY important! That explains much of her behavior and also her comment about hating men. ALWAYS ask from her about her father, brothers and former boyfriend and IF she has been abused by them NEXT her after the first date!

What is her opinion of Russian/Ukrainian men?
 
Some were abusive to her.

A woman with this background is able to be in a relationship only with ABUSIVE MEN. If a guy tries to be nice to her she will put him to PAY for it.

 
Did you over look any suspicious behavior or circumstances?
 
Yes one thing she did that was suspicious was something she told to my mother. She said we (RW) all hate our husbands (though she claimed she loved me). My mother was quite concerned about that one.
 
His mother is a woman and able to see into the EMOTIONAL SIDE OF WHAT SHE SAID. For guys to avoid being trapped like this it is very important to learn the difference between LOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL. What she is actually saying to his mother is this:

"I have been abused by men and I HATE all the men in this world" ( including him ). When she says that all RW hate men she extends her beliefs to all the other RWs. It is her view of the world. Her abusive past took away from her a good guy.

Also, my RW said her aunt married a black Frenchmen and moved to France. When the Aunt had been married long enough to stay in France, she claimed she didn't love him because he was black and divorced him (though she somehow managed to continue living in his house while avoiding him).

The aunt first married the black frenchman and soon after "felt" she does not like black guys. This is the usual way a manipulative woman ends a relationship: she starts to FEEL in a totally different way when it is a good business for her to feel differently. Add to this the background of a woman who hates man and you just married a.. ticking bomb.

Russia is a country with macho culture. I come from a macho country myself. If her feelings about her father are negative and especially if the father or other men abused her simply NEXT her after the first date.

This story is so sad. It tells what happens when an abused and manipulative lady ends up with a good guy who is nice to her. 
 
Without psychotherapy (and motivation for it) she will never be able to be with a normal man.


 

 

[groovlstk]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Looking back on things I wish I had been more careful in the words I spoke to her because she's so sensitive (I never yelled at her or called her bad words - she's just senstive about "my house" vs "our house" and other things). She said I couldn't bring my ex-wife's baby (not related to me) into our house, which caused some disagreement (it hurt her when she saw me kissing this baby). She also said it hurt her when I kissed my daughter (I guess because it wasn't her daughter). Now I wish I'd never wanted to be in this baby's life - it was only a baby, why would my RW hate this baby so? But she did.

c5, blaming yourself is pointless. A girl who jumps into bed with your neighbor does it because it's in her character--she doesn't do it because she feels slighted by you or you made some sort of inappropriate gesture. Even if you'd behaved perfectly, this would still have happened. Don't intensify your grief by blaming yourself. You fell in love with a girl who is not deserving of your love--that doesn't change the fact that you love her nor does it make your love any less real, but don't kid yourself about what kind of person she is inside.

[c5driver]

Thanks everyone for you replies. I think about this RW 24/7 - it's a nightmere seeing her living down the street. Some people say I should move.

It would be easy if she wasn't so beautiful. Once you marry someone who looks like a model it becomes addictive - it makes it hard to accept the next woman. I know it is superficial but as a man that how we are wired. I hope I can overcome this and be happy with more "normal" looking woman.

Now I really really wish I never meet her.

My RW always stressed that she was a virgin and that she only wanted to have sex with one husband in her life (she again said today this is what her parents taught her again and again). During one conversation I inadvertedly implied that she wasn't a virgin before we got married and she got really offended (she includes these "conflicts" as part of the reason she was unhappy in the marriage).

I think that she probably was (technically at least) a virgin (because her parents controlled her). So she's exhibiting that "girls gone wild" behavior that 22 year olds love.

WARNING SIGNS

She admits to being overly sensitive. One time I sent a get well card to her cousin in Russia. I guess her cousin didn't want anyone to know she was sick (must be Russian culture), so she got angry with my future RW. So my future RW sent me an email saying that she was breaking off our engagement (though we patched things up pretty quickly).

In hindsight, I guess this was a warning sign that she is hypersensitive and would rather run away from a relationship than make it work.

[BC]

C5,

Moving will not resolve the problem.  Seek professional advice if necessary.

[c5driver]

You are in love with the fantasy that you never had.  You wanted a faithful loving wife.  You didn't have one!  Ever!  And you will get over her.

It's just so fustrating because I wish she'd given the marriage a chance. She said she liked her BF's personality more than mine because his personality was "more like a Russian". She said she didn't have conflicts with him (which surprises me because he's so sensitive).

How do I get over her?

c5driver

Good phucking riddance!  Your neighbor did you a favor in taking your garbage out.  He too will be crying in time.  Don't dwell on what you never had.  Get a new woman and this time make sure she is a good one!

KenC
[/quote]
Thanks for your excellent post, KenC

 

[c5driver]

My RW called again. She always calls when she wants something (usually phone numbers, as she asked for today, or for me to drive her to the doctors). She wanted to live in my house for 2 months (for green card purposes, of course) while she saw her boyfriend (and she wanted me to buy her a new bed and sofa so she could sleep in a separate room). She also asked if she could move back in with me if things didn't work out with her boyfriend (obviously I said no to these requests). What kind of women would ask for these things?

It's strange - we have remained civil with each other - she's always civil (this helps a lot in getting an uncontested divorce, which saves money). But everything's a one way street with her. Is this how all ex's are?

Now I feel better about losing her when she reminds me what a cold heart she has. Still, it hurts.

[anono]

love, if it is love and not some other psychological dilemma, is a strange and powerful thing.

you do need to get over it and once you do, you will ask yourself, "was that really me?, man did i waste my time."  yes, your neighbor is doing you a favor