Are you REALLY looking for a keeper?

[SilverBUllet]

Anastassia: You are making an assumption that the Debit was a major issue. In your example you only talk about debt, and not assets like many FSUW would view debt.
First we do not know the size of debt in question, we also do not know the mans income and assets, we only know he had some debt.

In your example you assume that the woman has no assets. I would not feel bad at all if she also owned an apartment worth 80,000 and had $55K in debt. Then it would not be that she is hiding something, but simply she did not see it as important because she knew she could pay off the debt any time she wished.

I agree completely with you about not trying to hide anything. But the reasons for not disclosing the debt are what are important. It could be intentional, or it could simply be viewed as non important by the man in question.

In my case it would be impossible for me to describe all my fiances to Alyona before we were married. I could try and describe them to most Americans, and they would not understand.  My guess is it will take several years before she has a comprehension of fiances in the USA. A simple example is Alyona still views my airplane as not mine, because I still have 2 years to pay on a 10 year note. Before we were married I have no Idea if I told her about the debt on the plane or not, because to me it is not important. If times were to get tight, I would simply sell the airplane.

HiTech

I must say your lady is smart because she is correct. It is not your's until it is paid off. You might own a portion of it but not all until the last payment. Don't underestimate RW and UW, they are very quick studies. Believe me. 

[SilverBUllet]

You do have a need to see doom and gloom everywhere from what I take it. I read this line as saying that she is happy to have friends she believes she can count on if it was necessary. Hardly a cry for help. Then she follows that line by saying: "My husband's family accepted me very well. And now even one of my brothers-in-law is thinking to find a wife abroad, because he sees our example." Clearly, she is miserable and stuck in a bad marriage 

She has typical Russian female attitude, she has just accepted her faith after being disappointed. Perhaps the brother-in-law is another deadbeat who has seen first hand what he thinks he can get away with, not being honest? How can you get a keeper for life that way  . Back to the topic for the tread, be honest up front. 

[Misha]

She has typical Russian female attitude, she has just accepted her faith after being disappointed.
[/quotel]

She has accepted her fate So, I take it you are an expert on the typical Russian female. 

Perhaps the brother-in-law is another deadbeat who has seen first hand what he thinks he can get away with, not being honest? How can you get a keeper for life that way  . Back to the topic for the tread, be honest up front. 

Again, nothing that she wrote indicates this.

[Admin]

Dan, Thanks for the information. This was useful! Will come handy one day so I made a copy! Do you also have a pre-nup in Russian? SB

You are welcome.

Please be sure to use it only for personal use, or if you re-post somewhere (even if modified), please provide proper attribution to this forum.

- Dan

[Diplomacy]

SB:

I am not living in the past.  You are way off base saying money is all you need in all cases.  Maybe this is more of an intellectual angle.  For example, I watch very little television and so does my fiance.  Direct TV is possible need for Russian Immersion, and we do enjoy Discovery, Animal planet, and history channel type programming.

I am a bookworm, rather spend time researching someplace I have never been, or say King Tut. With the Dallas exhibit open hopefully until my fiance and son arrive.  It is a whole new level when you understand the history behind the artifacts. 

Money spent on trips to Ukraine, never needed to spend much.  We were cooking, doing homework with her son, going to the Park, Markets, hospital to see Papa, going to other people's home and having people over our apartment which I rented.  The time there was great for me and I never missed the US other than not fitting in seats and beds fort he most part.

We are both careful with money.  The reality is what we enjoy doing costs as little or as much as we want it to. 

Why do FSU citizens spend a lot of their money and save very little.  Banking crisis and seeing the currency plummet.  They have seen hard times in any woman's life that is of marriage age.

I have friends that are billionaires and some that can barely scrape enough money together to make it.  The common theme is they are good people and live a good life.  I can have as much fun in a Tux and drinking $200 champagne as hiking to a remote place to enjoy a Picnic.

OF course better economic situation and life for her son is a factor in marrying me.  Just not the factor, there is a huge difference.  She could marry a materially wealthier man, just hard to beat me in the academic, character, happiness wealth department. 

See the issue is, being happy with what you have or doing what it takes to be in a situation you are happy with.  A person who needs the best car, house, clothes and anything else material is not going to be happy with me.

I live below my means and plan it to stay that way.  I assure you there are women there that are this way also.  As others have said, there is a lot of things to watch out for.  If you offer that life and have a girl that wants that life great.  Just hope you never find on tough times.  Must be hard to lose your wife and job at the same time.