Should I be suspicious?

[Doll]

:usdeyes: :selfharm:

Pure genius or insanity BC.  Saved me a cup of coffee now, I am wide awake and laughing.  Bravo!

Me too- no coffee today 

[mendeleyev]

You've gotten some good advice and I'll echo that it's unusual for her to ask, unless the poor girl is desperate and tired of feeling left out in March.

Did she mention the term "Valentine's Day?"  If so, cut and run.  That is a non-holiday and non-issue in Ukraine or Russia, no matter what bull hype the Russian flower delivery services tell you. BTW, hope you're open to a suggestion of dropping the word "the" when referring to Ukraine.  It's like saying "the Canada" or "the Russia."

The holiday when the other ladies at her work, family and neighborhood will be receiving flowers is not on 14 Feb, but on 8 March.  It used to be called International Women's Day but has gradually given way to the term (8 Март) 8 March. All the women in a man's life from sweetheart to Mom to sisters to older daughters are given something on that day.

A scammer would know about Valentine's Day and know that you would find it "logical" that she would susposedly want flowers on that day. However you don't need to send flowers in February because the day when she would feel left out about not having flowers doesn't come around until March.

[SANDRO43]

BC, you've been living in Italy far too long, an advanced stage of Machiavelli Syndrome is showing its warped symptoms all too clearly .

[Vinnvinny]

Did she mention the term "Valentine's Day?"  If so, cut and run.  That is a non-holiday and non-issue in Ukraine or Russia, no matter what bull hype the Russian flower delivery services tell you.

Non-issue in Ukraine? You have to be joking don't you? BTW, it's a non-holiday here in the Uk but many men (mostly relucantly) will be buying flowers this coming weekend so I dont really get your point.

Do you buy your wife flowers on Valentine's day?

[mendeleyev]

I give her a card on V day.  Flowers for her, flowers for Mum and chocolates to daughters and Aunts on 8 March.   

If I gave my wife flowers on what she considers a "Catholic holiday" (her words, not mine) she'd accept them just before reminding me that I could have waited and given a nicer bouquet on the day when it really mattered.

Not kidding at all, whether Kyiv or Moscow, the number of ladies with flowers on 8 March versus 14 February is staggering.  As Valentine's day is a new concept, driven largely by western men who don't know local customs, there is as much "backdraft" against the idea as there is acceptance.  Why do you think there was a bill in the Duma last year to ban observing Valentine's day? It went nowhere as expected--but a point was made. In a lot of people's minds the acceptance of what many feel is a Western holiday is an issue of East-West relations, regardless of the fact that St Valentine had nothing to do with the USA or with current foreign policy. 

[BC]

BC, you've been living in Italy far too long, an advanced stage of Machiavelli Syndrome is showing its warped symptoms all too clearly .

.. or is it the Primitivo? hmm....

[Kuna]

Do you buy your wife flowers on Valentine's day?

My answer - No!

Why?

Last year I did and this was her reaction:

"Oh Kuna.  Why did you do this?  It is stupid.  It is only for stupid Americans.  The flowers are beautiful but do not do this anymore.  It means nothing.  Thank you.  *kiss*  Goes back to doing whatever she was doing.

Errrr....  I promise you - Valentines Day means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to my wife.

Now,  forget Womans Day and YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!




One comment - before any of the Americans are offended I will say that my wife has never been to America but one day we will visit so she can see there are very very many wonderful Americans.  Until then she thinks all Americans are like George Bush, Michael Jackson, the drug dealers on Cops and those men going to Ukraine to marry women half their age event though the looked like they just climbed out of bed.

[Tamara]

Mendeleyev,

I usually love your posts and learn something from them, however I have to disagree with your opinion on Valentine's Day.  I remember getting flowers, bonzai trees, cards, stuffed hearts, etc. from my Russian boyfriend back in Saint-Petersburg for Saint Valentine's Day.  And it was always a big deal.  I am not comparing it with March, 8.  even though if you think of it, you are certainly going to see more flowers.  March 8 is a holiday for all women, small girls, grandmothers, mothers, etc.  Not only married and dating women.  It is very normal for a girl to expect some flowers for Valentine's.  Even schools cultivate the holiday by doing mass exchange of Valentine cards.  My sister is working on some now... Still being observed despite Duma decision. So stating that it is not celebrated, is incorrect.

[Vinnvinny]

My answer - No!

Why?

Last year I did and this was her reaction:

"Oh Kuna.  Why did you do this?  It is stupid.  It is only for stupid Americans.  The flowers are beautiful but do not do this anymore.  It means nothing.  Thank you.  *kiss*  Goes back to doing whatever she was doing.

Errrr....  I promise you - Valentines Day means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to my wife.

You have my greatest sympathy Kuna. I think if something similar happened to me then I would explain that in western culture we have been celebrating Valentines Day since the 12th century so it clearly has nothing whatsoever to do with those ‘Americans’. I would then go on to explain to her how important it is to embrace each others cultures and traditions, the same way as I celebrate Christmas with her in early January. Lastly I would tell her that I enjoy giving her flowers and Valentines Day is a good excuse for me to do this so stop p*ss*ng on my party and be more appreciative. 

[ScottinCrimea]

You have my greatest sympathy Kuna. I think if something similar happened to me then I would explain that in western culture we have been celebrating Valentines Day since the 12th century so it clearly has nothing whatsoever to do with those ‘Americans’. I would then go on to explain to her how important it is to embrace each others cultures and traditions, the same way as I celebrate Christmas with her in early January. Lastly I would tell her that I enjoy giving her flowers and Valentines Day is a good excuse for me to do this so stop p*ss*ng on my party and be more appreciative. 

This sounds so simple to someone who has yet to actually live with a RW.   :ohbrother:

[OlgaH]

... I would explain that in western culture we have been celebrating Valentines Day since the 12th century ...

The Origins of St. Valentine’s Day
http://www.americancatholic.org/Features/ValentinesDay/origins.asp

[Vinnvinny]

This sounds so simple to someone who has yet to actually live with a RW.   :ohbrother:

True Scott. I have never lived with a RW but I lived with a Hungarian lady for 15 years and a Czech lady for 4 years and in my experience there is little to separate the 'mentality' (for want of a better word) of these nations with that of Ukrainian ladies. 

[Vinnvinny]

… and besides, my comments would be just me being truthful and treating the lady as though I was dating at home. Points 7 and 9 in the Ten Commandments I believe.

                  

[ScottinCrimea]

True Scott. I have never lived with a RW but I lived with a Hungarian lady for 15 years and a Czech lady for 4 years and in my experience there is little to separate the 'mentality' (for want of a better word) of these nations with that of Ukrainian ladies. 

Clue #1: Thinking that a logical explanation would change her mind.

Clue #2:  Expecting a positive response to "...stop p*ss*ng on my party and be more appreciative."

[SANDRO43]

in western culture we have been celebrating Valentines Day since the 12th century so it clearly has nothing whatsoever to do with those ‘Americans’.

Not really. I distinctly remember St. Valentine's Day making its appearance on the Italian scene (the saint's home country, after all) with all its paraphernalia of flowers, cards, sweets, etc. in the 1950s as an import from the US, along with jeans, coke, gum, rock, etc. My parents were rather astonished at the sudden hullaballoo, and labelled it as "another shopkeepers' marketing gimmick".

It may have been popular in Roman times as Lupercalia and later in the Middle Ages, but it had been completely forgotten for centuries here.

[OlgaH]

Clue #1: Thinking that a logical explanation would change her mind.

It may have been popular in Roman times as Lupercalia and later in the Middle Ages, but it had been completely forgotten for centuries here.

Sandro, Some American Catholics remember  (I have posted the link)

So the logical explanation should be started with:

The roots of St. Valentine's Day lie in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, which was celebrated on Feb. 15. For 800 years the Romans had dedicated this day to the god Lupercus. On Lupercalia, a young man would draw the name of a young woman in a lottery and would then keep the woman as a sexual companion for the year.

[SANDRO43]

So the logical explanation should be started with:

I don't get your point, Olga. I know the origins (another example of Christian syncretisation, taking over and relabelling existing festivities, like Xmas, Easter, etc.).

MY point is that it was a celebration unknown/forgotten here until well after WWII, witness also my parents' reaction.

[OlgaH]

I don't get your point, Olga.

Sandro, my post was just about an origin of celebration.

If to believe to the American Catholic website the celebration in honor of Lupercus was changed into celebration in honor of Valentine during the time of Pope Gelasius I. Of course there are some other versions of origin of St. Valentine's day

[Vinnvinny]

Clue #1: Thinking that a logical explanation would change her mind.

Clue #2:  Expecting a positive response to "...stop p*ss*ng on my party and be more appreciative."

I’ve haven’t been involved in a relationship where logical thinking and tongue in cheek humour weren’t allowed so for me I’ll stand by my original comments. 

in western culture we have been celebrating Valentines Day since the 12th century so it clearly has nothing whatsoever to do with those ‘Americans’.

Not really. I distinctly remember St. Valentine's Day making its appearance on the Italian scene (the saint's home country, after all) with all its paraphernalia of flowers, cards, sweets, etc. in the 1950s as an import from the US, along with jeans, coke, gum, rock, etc. My parents were rather astonished at the sudden hullaballoo, and labelled it as "another shopkeepers' marketing gimmick".

It may have been popular in Roman times as Lupercalia and later in the Middle Ages, but it had been completely forgotten for centuries here.

I never said that the celebration was continuous; my point was that it isn’t an American thing. If you google ‘Victorian St Valentine’ you will see that ‘we’ were way ahead of you. 

More to the point, did tai_guy send any flowers? The community awaits …… 

[ScottinCrimea]

I’ve haven’t been involved in a relationship where logical thinking and tongue in cheek humour weren’t allowed so for me I’ll stand by my original comments. 

So this will be a new experience for you. 

[SANDRO43]

my point was that it isn’t an American thing. If you google ‘Victorian St Valentine’ you will see that ‘we’ were way ahead of you.

Alright, I did:

During 14th and15th centuries, French and English poets and litterateurs too stressed on this idea and created a romantic image of the day in the minds of the people. Valentine's Day Cards too are said to have originated in France. A young Frenchman, Charles, Duke of Orleans is said to have written the first written Valentine's Day Cards. The Duke who was captured at the Battle of Agincourt in 1415 is said to have written a poem or ‘Valentine' to his wife while imprisonment in the Tower of London.

http://www.stvalentinesday.org/valentines-day-in-france.html

So your 'route' seems to be (France) -> Britain -> USA. However:

History of Valentine's Day in Italy
Valentine's Day was initially celebrated as a Spring Festival in Italy. Celebration for the day was held in the open air. Young people would gather in tree arbors or ornamental gardens and enjoy listening to music and reading of poetry. Later they would stroll off with their Valentine into the gardens. The custom steadily ceased over the course of years and has not been celebrated for centuries.

http://www.stvalentinesday.org/valentines-day-in-italy.html

Thus our 'route' is USA -> Italy.

I'd say we're both right, your statement 'in Western culture' requiring however a local qualification .

[Vinnvinny]

So this will be a new experience for you. 

Nope.

I'd say we're both right, your statement 'in Western culture' requiring however a local qualification .

Ok, I agree. Let's call it a 2-1 draw. 

[SANDRO43]

Ok, I agree. Let's call it a 2-1 draw. 

What's that, a Western culture draw ?

[ScottinCrimea]

Nope.

 

[Vinnvinny]

What's that, a Western culture draw ?

I wouldn’t analyse the score too much ... the '1' was mine.