Should I be suspicious?

[OlgaH]

I would explain that in western culture we have been celebrating Valentines Day since the 12th century...

While some claim the first recorded association of Valentine's Day with romantic love is in Parlement of Foules (1382) by Geoffrey Chaucer[17] this may be the result of misinterpretation. Chaucer wrote:

    For this was on seynt Volantynys day
    Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.

This poem was written to honor the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia.[18] A treaty providing for a marriage was signed on May 2, 1381.[19] (When they were married eight months later, he was 13 or 14, and she was 14.)

Readers have uncritically assumed that Chaucer was referring to February 14 as Valentine's Day; however, mid-February is an unlikely time for birds to be mating in England. Henry Ansgar Kelly has pointed out[20] that in the liturgical calendar, May 2 is the saints' day for Valentine of Genoa. This St. Valentine was an early bishop of Genoa who died around AD 307.[21]

Chaucer's Parliament of Foules is set in a fictional context of an old tradition, but in fact there was no such tradition before Chaucer. The speculative explanation of sentimental customs, posing as historical fact, had their origins among eighteenth-century antiquaries, notably Alban Butler, the author of Butler's Lives of Saints, and have been perpetuated even by respectable modern scholars. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day#cite_note-16

[mendeleyev]

Still being observed despite Duma decision. So stating that it is not celebrated, is incorrect.

Tamara, I learn from you too and enjoy our interaction, especially as you've made our daily contributions to the "Yahoo Answers on Russia" series so educational and rewarding. Your very welcome addition has made that service delightful and fun for me personally. 

I apologize if it sounded like I said there was no celebration of Valentine's at all, I just see that 8 March is so much bigger, more important, and so from my view it seems that Russian and Ukrainian ladies seem convinced that the romance belongs in the traditional March holiday.  I view Valentine's day in the FSU much like engagement rings, as unnecessary additions to a strong and proud culture that has done well without them so why force new Western traditions on them now.

And you are right that it is a day for all the ladies, not just the sweethearts. I think that if a man has not yet met Mama (or babuska is she lives at home too), then he should do 8 March flowers for the sweetheart and chocolates form Mum.  Once Mom has been formally introduced (in person) then she should be included with a small floral bouquet or with nicer chocolates.  What do you think about it?

By the way, I was under the impression that the proposed ban on Valentine's day failed to pass a third and final Duma reading/vote.  Am I wrong on that? 

[Ade]

My answer - No!

Why?

Last year I did and this was her reaction:

"Oh Kuna.  Why did you do this?  It is stupid.  It is only for stupid Americans.  The flowers are beautiful but do not do this anymore.  It means nothing.  Thank you.  *kiss*  Goes back to doing whatever she was doing.

Last year when I sent flowers for Valentine's day she appreciated the gift but was a little bemused I think because Valentine's day to her didn't mean anything. She then explained about Women's day and of course when March came along (we were together on the day) I felt the need to out do my previous Valentine's effort. 

This year, I've sent a single rose for Valentine's and I'm still thinking about what to do for Women's day (we will be together again when it arrives).

I hope that next year we can both choose one day or the other; I feel that too many "special occasions" devalues them all and it's better to have less occasions that are more meaningful, quality over quantity as it were. 

[tai_guy]

Wow, so many replies! Some great advice, too.

First, a little background. I met the lady through an agency, which is one of those "Pay to play" type of sites that seem to be reviled around here, where you have to buy credits to open a girl's email. But this site seemed at least a little more reasonable in that there is no charge to send letters, and the cost of opening a girl's letter depends on here "Popularity". If she's corresponding with a lot of guys, the more credits you need to open a letter from her. Conversely, if she's not so popular or if she's a newcomer, the credits needed are lower.

So the lady in question contacted me first (opening a first letter is free) and turns out she's one of those ladies with an extremely low credit requirement, less than a dollar a letter. And so we've been corresponding for a while now, and things seemed to be going very well before the last 2 letters came, mentioning flowers. She did not say she wanted them for St. Valentine's day, that was just my assumption. And no, this agency does not advertise flowers or gifts.

So I think I will definately take the advice to ask her for her full name and mailing address, and use one of the florist sites that some of you have recommended. I'll keep everyone informed.

Thanks to everyone for all the advise.

[kievstar]

I know in Kiev the better restaurants are packed and themed for Valetines day (last 2 years at least).  Also, if your dating a girl in Kiev I suggest you do something as many men do for Valetines day.  March 8th is a bigger day in Ukraine.  I will be in Kiev tonight until Monday.  I will also be back in Ukraine on March 8th.  March 8th is recognized by most men in Ukraine.

[Vinnvinny]

I met the lady through an agency, which is one of those "Pay to play" type of sites that seem to be reviled around here, where you have to buy credits to open a girl's email. But this site seemed at least a little more reasonable in that there is no charge to send letters, and the cost of opening a girl's letter depends on here "Popularity". If she's corresponding with a lot of guys, the more credits you need to open a letter from her. Conversely, if she's not so popular or if she's a newcomer, the credits needed are lower.

Hmmmm. Run like the wind ... or preferably faster.

[Kuna]

You have my greatest sympathy Kuna. I think if something similar happened to me then I would explain that in western culture we have been celebrating Valentines Day since the 12th century so it clearly has nothing whatsoever to do with those ‘Americans’. I would then go on to explain to her how important it is to embrace each others cultures and traditions, the same way as I celebrate Christmas with her in early January. Lastly I would tell her that I enjoy giving her flowers and Valentines Day is a good excuse for me to do this so stop p*ss*ng on my party and be more appreciative. 

Vinny,  you have A LOT to learn about FSUW...  but I want to assure you we'll be here to help you when the sh!t hits the fan!   



To the OP,  if she contacted you first...  it's a pay per use website... and she suggested she'd send proof the flowers arrived... you're probably on a road to no where IMHO.

Be very cautious on any of these Pay Per Use sites... its a very well refined business that is not aimed at serious men who intend visiting the ladies they are writing to.  There are much better options out there.

[Vinnvinny]

Vinny,  you have A LOT to learn about FSUW...  but I want to assure you we'll be here to help you when the sh!t hits the fan!   

Thanks Kuna. Admittedly having spent only 19 of the past 21 years living with Eastern European women, then I will have to bow to your superior knowledge on this subject. Your assurances are appreciated and welcomed.

[GoodOlBoy]

Thanks Kuna. Admittedly having spent only 19 of the past 21 years living with Eastern European women, then I will have to bow to your superior knowledge on this subject. Your assurances are appreciated and welcomed.

Be careful of your tone Vinnvinny or you will be branded "RWD Mental Midget". 


GOB

BTW....The Mental Midgets have a "secret" handshake.  :evil:

[Misha]

Vinny,  you have A LOT to learn about FSUW...  but I want to assure you we'll be here to help you when the sh!t hits the fan!   

The fact of the matter is that I did not buy my wife any flowers for the 8th of March last year: I was on the road at the time. It was not the end of the world. We chatted on the phone. I may have bought her a live plant for Valentine's day. She is certainly happy when I do gift her flowers, but if I don't, no fecal matter will be hitting a fan. The goal is not to learn a lot about FSUW, rather to learn as much as possible about your wife IMHO. True, there are cultural differences and certain expectations shaped by upbringing, but each woman is unique.

[Vinnvinny]

Be careful of your tone Vinnvinny or you will be branded "RWD Mental Midget". 

Wow, I could get promoted, and so soon?  I like it .... and where next, devious dwarf?

The goal is not to learn a lot about FSUW, rather to learn as much as possible about your wife IMHO. True, there are cultural differences and certain expectations shaped by upbringing, but each woman is unique.

Perfectly put Misha and so very true. 

[GoodOlBoy]

Wow, I could get promoted, and so soon?  I like it .... and where next, devious dwarf?

I am glad you asked.   :evil:

The Official RWD "Pecking Order" is as follows:

1. The Anointed Ones....aka  "Messiah" 

2. The Village Idiots..... aka "Hominy Clowns" (contact Daveman for membership details) 

3. The Mental Midgets...aka "Peanut Gallery" 

4. The Newbies............aka "Newbies" 


GOB

[tfcrew]

If this has been mentioned already...apologies.
Woman's Day [Mar 8 I believe] is a much bigger deal in the FSU than Valentines Day.
Flowers..[rather than hinting for cash] is usually a green flag.
When visiting their home turf...as when you're leaving the airport...bring flowers.
They love flowers...a +++
Good Luck
Karl

[Vinnvinny]

I am glad you asked.   :evil:

The RWD "Pecking Order" is as follows:

1. The Anointed Ones....aka  "Messiah" 

2. The Village Idiots..... aka "Hominy Clowns" (contact Daveman for membership details) 

3. The Mental Midgets...aka "Peanut Gallery" 


GOB

Oh!   Not too keen on The Village Idiots so I think I’ll head straight for the Anointed Ones. What do I have to do, nose in the air and 1,000 posts or something?

Also, I’ve never been ‘harassed’ by taxi drivers in Kiev or Odessa.  I just say “no thank you” and if my driver’s late then I’ll have a chat and a smoke with them and get their ‘business’ cards. Do you think such actions will exclude me? 

[Chillidog]

I have always viewed "Valentines Day" and it's close cousin "Sweetest Day" as nothing more than "Hallmark Holidays" and great Marketing genius, as a small way to spur on the profitabilty of businesses in this market.

So being a western man you can see my stand, "Forced to do it, with the "ex", happy to do it for the children"

but the real day is 8 March and that is when I'll send flowers/chocolates to the FSU woman.

[Misha]

Oh!   Not too keen on The Village Idiots so I think I’ll head straight for the Anointed Ones. What do I have to do, nose in the air and 1,000 posts or something?

Nah, I am still somewhere in the mental midgets and village idiot category from what I gather after 2400 posts

[GoodOlBoy]

Oh!   Not too keen on The Village Idiots so I think I’ll head straight for the Anointed Ones. What do I have to do, nose in the air and 1,000 posts or something?

BINGO...you get the "Booby Prize".


GOB

[Daveman]

I am glad you asked.   :evil:

The RWD "Pecking Order" is as follows:

1. The Anointed Ones....aka  "Messiah" 

2. The Village Idiots..... aka "Hominy Clowns" (contact Daveman for membership details) 

3. The Mental Midgets...aka "Peanut Gallery" 

4. The Newbies............aka "Newbies" 


GOB

 


Now that's hilarious.   

Oh!   Not too keen on The Village Idiots so I think I’ll head straight for the Anointed Ones.

Dang Vinny, I can't believe you hold an entire membership faction in such low esteem!   

During the course of the past semester, we have increased our membership to, let me check the current roster, a total of one member(s).  It appears we are a very exclusive and well organized entity.   :evil:  :evil:  :evil:

[Vinnvinny]

No offence chaps but I'm gonna stay a Newbie thank you. Your hierarchy seems way too complicated, even for intelligent people, so I figure I have no chance of working it out. 

[GoodOlBoy]

Dang Vinny, I can't believe you hold an entire membership faction in such low esteem!  

Daveman, I want you to remember this statement 46 posts from now when you reach "Messiah Status".

Do you have your "nose" cocked and ready?  


GOB

[Tamara]

And you are right that it is a day for all the ladies, not just the sweethearts. I think that if a man has not yet met Mama (or babuska is she lives at home too), then he should do 8 March flowers for the sweetheart and chocolates form Mum.  Once Mom has been formally introduced (in person) then she should be included with a small floral bouquet or with nicer chocolates.  What do you think about it?

Wow...  This thread is popular, so many responses!  Great advice on giving the Mother or Babushka some chocolates in addition to flowers for the Sweetheart for March, 8.  They would really appreciate this! 

[Vinnvinny]

Tamara: As I'm a newbie can you please tell me what date is Men's Day please? 

[Misha]

Tamara: As I'm a newbie can you please tell me what date is Men's Day please? 

Most women would likely say the other 364 days are Men's Days

[Vinnvinny]

 

[Tamara]

Tamara: As I'm a newbie can you please tell me what date is Men's Day please? 

February, 23 - Day of Military Glory of Russia / Defender of the Fatherland Day originally called "The Soviet Army and Navy Day".  Here is a nice article on the history of this holiday: http://www.mnweekly.ru/national/20080221/55311621.html

Most women would likely say the other 364 days are Men's Days