Statistical abberation

[brucen36]

Hi:

Just a question to Ken as an impartial observer.  Did anyone give you the "cluebat" (in a manner that you might have done yourself) at the time you were about to marry a woman half your age?

B

[KenC]

Hi:

Just a question to Ken as an impartial observer.  Did anyone give you the "cluebat" (in a manner that you might have done yourself) at the time you were about to marry a woman half your age?

B

Our relationship and eventual marriage predated any participation on any message forums.  I knew the risk, I took it, had 10 great years and accept the eventual outcome.
KenC

[ECOCKS]

Of course it makes the women nervous. They keep worrying that their husband will start thinking about trading her in on a newer model. Especially if you keep gushing about all the racked and stacked dev's walking along the streets looking for someone to love. Keep that in mind when you are gauging other people's reaction to your new wife.

The only thing that surprises me about this dynamic is the people who are surprised at this.

[Muddy]

krimster,
Very good point made here.  The social acceptance of our marriage was always a struggle for Lena and I.  Many of Lena's younger friends could never understand or accept her love for me.  Over the years, a few even tried to lead Lena astray too.  KenC

I understand this Kenny, always have to worry about what people say to her or think, that is a big big problem, all it takes is one stupid person to make a ton of problems

Maybe if you try to find a girl who is not outgoing, who does not want to work or go to school, or find friends and is just happy to be with you then you will have a better chance

[brucen36]

Our relationship and eventual marriage predated any participation on any message forums.  I knew the risk, I took it, had 10 great years and accept the eventual outcome.
KenC

Not that I'm siding with anyone here, but I think a lot of guys would have done the same thing in your shoes.  And it's easy to rationalize right and wrong when you're not in the situation.  Not to say there is even a right and wrong there - frankly, 10 years is not to shabby.  Whoever said that happily ever after is "normal" anyways, the statistics certainly don't support it.

[Muddy]

Kenny, what is your advice for men who look for girls 20+ years younger? Thanks

[krimster]

haha, you're right Ken, I think just about every RW gets some measure of hostility from some, but certainly not all AW, my wife has many good AW friends here, but sometimes she catches a whiff of 'tude, if you know what I mean.  It's that competition 'thang.

Funny story with reversed roles.  I lived three years in Sevastopol, Ukraine, which also happens to be the home of the Russian Black Sea Fleet, one day a guy I met on "Brama" an old FSU interest blog was in Sevastopol, so to impress him, I took him to a "cool club" in a place called "Omega" because he was single, and the place is just packed with beautiful women.  I'd been there twice before with my brother-in-law and once with my wife and we had a great time!  So I called a taxi and took my new found friend to Omega.  Now what I didn't know was that particular day was pay day for Russia's Black Sea Fleet, and sailors with "connections" were already hitting every bar and club in town.  So soon as we enter the doors of Omega we immediately see a crowd of sullen, evil looking men.  Oh and they're big, no really big. Well, I'd like to tell you, that we two foreigners, not only stood up to them, but actually succeeded in KO'ing every little black and white hat wearing one of them.  Yes, I'd like to tell you that, but it would be a lie, we turned on our heels and ran like mad, with the echos of laughter behind us!

Ken,

In all honesty, the absolute WORST thing you could do to these guys is to ignore them.

[Gator]

Maybe if you try to find a girl who is not outgoing, who does not want to work or go to school, or find friends and is just happy to be with you then you will have a better chance

I don't know what KenC would say; however, I find that as the definition of BORING! 

In fact, I don't think such a RW would pass the medical examination assuming it has a part for mental capacity.

Surely you jest.

[krimster]

You know people, I get it now.
Thanks for showing me muddy, brucen36. 
With shame I feel that I have been just as guilty as you in flaming others.
What I see is REALLY ugly
Each of us is blind to our own sins yet master at seeing it in others
Yet you have opened my eyes.
I shall go now, and make a vow to sin no more
thank you again

[Makkin]

Krimster,

  I'm very proud of you.


   You are a gem indeed....lol

Makkin

[Muddy]

I don't know what KenC would say; however, I find that as the definition of BORING! 

In fact, I don't think such a RW would pass the medical examination assuming it has a part for mental capacity.

Surely you jest.

I dont know, I think you have a very little chance if you are much older and if she wants to work, or go to school, and is very outgoing, soon she will meet younger men and some stupid friends who will do their best to break them up. I know because I have dated girls much younger than me, you worry about people and friends say to her

Kenny, I know it must have been hard for you, best thing to do is to forget about her, now is a good time to travel to Ukraine, shave your mustache my friend, lose some weight and try again.

 Good luck kiddo

[KenC]

Kenny, what is your advice for men who look for girls 20+ years younger? Thanks

First of all, I have not been called "Kenny" since I was 12.  I would appreciate you addressing me as "Ken", especially if you want me to respond to your questions in the future.  As always, I would recommend against it.
KenC

[Mir]

Some folks were discusing quotations from US history here.
Some more to refresh our minds:

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named 
Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:
"Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.
"Very good!"
Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar.
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrasekhar, an Indian boy who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians,"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Chandrasekhar put his hand up.
"General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrasekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little sh*t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, " Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh sh*t, we're f***ed!"
And Chandrasekhar said quietly, "I think it was George Bush, Iraq, 2007."

[Makkin]

Mir,

  Reminds me of my neighbors from India who always had us over to the house for visiting and eating. My daughter helped both of the young girls with school work and such. One of the Indian girls would not talk if ever and very little but after spending time with my daughter things became better.

  Funny note....The spelling bee came around and my daughter and the Indian girl had a showdown but as always my daughter won...lol

Makkin
 

[WmGO]

Our relationship and eventual marriage predated any participation on any message forums.  I knew the risk, I took it, had 10 great years and accept the eventual outcome.
KenC

I don't want to sound like I am a member of anyone's rah rah club as
I am a member of no such club........and I have never agreed completely
with KenC's sometimes harsh style......
But in all fairness, when I joined the old PL in late 1999/early 2000 (it was
sometime in there) KenC was there and was always frank about the fact
that he recommended  against large age difference marriages.  He never tooted
a high age difference horn.

******

Krimster, good posts.

Groov's memory scares me.

AJ, wrongfully attacked by GOB.

Gator, the original CoolPuffDaddy

ECock, gosh that name freaks me out, but always sound.

JB, the old qoute he dug up on WM-FSUW relations should go
into a permanent advice section.


******

Somewhere forgive and try to forget needs apply.... 

[krimster]

Mir,
   After the disturbance was nearly over in Chandrasekhar's class, a little girl in the back named "Jessica", pointed to Chandrasekhar's desk upon which sat a strange book with a large picture of a Brahma Bull on it.  "Holy Cow", she said quietly....

I'll see you, AND raise you ten, your turn to deal...

WmGO,
thanks!

[mies]

Maybe if you try to find a girl who is not outgoing, who does not want to work or go to school, or find friends and is just happy to be with you then you will have a better chance

I doubt that even a mother would do it, unless you are 6mo old. Unlikely you'll find a woman like that, especially 20 years your junior. Not in FSU - I can assure you.

[Gator]

I doubt that even a mother would do it, unless you are 6mo old.

 

Does a man qualify if he is 40-yo but behaves like a 6-mo baby?   

I originally said that a RW wanting to do this would not pass the K-1 medical examination if it included mental health.  On second thought, the RW would not pass simply because she did not have a pulse. 

[Turboguy]

I dont know, I think you have a very little chance if you are much older and if she wants to work, or go to school, and is very outgoing, soon she will meet younger men and some stupid friends who will do their best to break them up. I know because I have dated girls much younger than me, you worry about people and friends say to her

Kenny, I know it must have been hard for you, best thing to do is to forget about her, now is a good time to travel to Ukraine, shave your mustache my friend, lose some weight and try again.

 Good luck kiddo

RW are often very attractive, built well, and have cute accents.   Are you saying the same thing couldn't happen if you married a woman close to your age?   

Personally, if you marry a much younger woman or an older one that is attractive and have to sit around worrying about who she may meet at work or school, you have a real problem with self confidence or made a really bad choice in women.   Frankly, overweight, not so attractive AW can get laid if they want to.  Men don't seem to be very particular about who they jump in bed with.   Being jealous and worrying every time she goes out the door will drive a woman away from you faster than anything.   

[MarkLeftTX]

>>Once upon a time on a Planet called Love certain members here called a wife of another member here a "c" and a "w".<<
...

The exchange transpired at PL in October of 2002. It was replayed on RWG in ... oh, I am not sure - 2005 or so.

Since I was a part of it, I know EXACTLY what was written - and still have copies of it.

Well, since the "Member's Wife" in question was my wife, Viktoriya, I think I need to comment here.

First, please don't drag me or my situation into any of this.

Secondly, Dan, I doubt you have copies of everything that was said on PL, since the most offending comments were "cleansed" by the moderator, Patrick. So, at best, you have the modified version.

But none of that really matters...

Which is the point. For those guys getting all worked up over what is said online -- whether that be KenC for getting what he gave, or all of those guys who feel now is their time for revenge -- you need to realize this: none of this matters. Really. Honestly. Nothing said on this board (or others) even matters.

Don't get me wrong, It used to piss me off, too. Planet Love was famous for threads that got so vitriol that they had the be "cleansed" regularly by the moderator. And that was so wrong, IMHO.  I thought: "Guys can say whatever they want, and everyone reads it, but then the moderator cleans it up so there is no record of just how much of a slimeball the guy is..."

But what I realize now is... who cares? To the best of my knowledge none of the old Planet Love archives are available. If they are, maybe one person has read through them in the past year. How much defamation is that?

Even here, where the archive is active, how many people do you think actually read the archives? Three a month? Maybe?

I still participate in a lot of forums... mostly around things like 3D animation and programming. You know what is always amazing to me? We can NEVER get guys to read the forums. We get the same questions over and over.

NO ONE READS THE ARCHIVES.

My point is that when you take a step away from these boards -- as many of the members have done -- you realize that it is hardly permanent.

This is one of the most active threads going on this board. I'll wager that there are maybe 7 who honestly care what is being said in this thread and are getting worked up over it.

I guess what I am saying is that the one thing my time on Planet Love and Russian Woman's Guide taught me is this: It is only important if you make it so.

[krimster]

MarkLeftTX,

Interesting comment.  Can I try and build something on top of it?  If there is a lot of anger being displayed here, why is that?

It sounds like a lot of the problems begin when general disagreements become personal and even directed at a particular person, this will make it's recipient angry and a battle ensues.  I think we could probably all make whatever point we wish to make without resorting to attacking them (mea culpa).  In return for this small act of good Karma, women will suddenly find us all very attractive and fascinating.

[UTRO]

I see you're back on the Russian Dating Web Site(s) Ken. Good for you! 

[ECOCKS]

ECock, gosh that name freaks me out, but always sound.

No problem, boarding school, fraternity, the Army, management, subordinates...it's not the first time. And, THANKS for the compliment.

I don't hide behind anonymous names. No issue with those who do, just not my style. I would prefer that you spell it correctly - ECOCKS, as in Ed Cocks.

[MarkLeftTX]

MarkLeftTX,

Interesting comment.  Can I try and build something on top of it?  If there is a lot of anger being displayed here, why is that?

Actually, I think it is a few things. For one thing, the anonymity emboldens people. Sometimes actions on a BBS are just like making a prank phone call: You do it for the reaction. And before you know it, it escalates.

Also, I think people vastly underestimate the power of the written word.

When I was the President of Oklahoma State's Fencing association, I wrote something in a newsletter once that seemed to me to be kind of funny. One of my friends, who proof read it, suggested I take it out because the person it was written about might be offended. I thought he was over-reacting, but he said something to me then that I will never forget:

"You have to remember, Mark: Words wound... the written word kills."

I took it out...

[Maxx2]

Maxx' story is important to this community.  It should be mandatory reading for every newbie.  But for a balanced view, so should they read some happy stories. Both sides need to heard.

Thank you Ken. You are right both sides need to be heard.

A few days ago I found out I have diabetes. Physically these last few months I have been feeling pretty miserable and rundown not to mention the thirst for water to flush the excess sugar out of my blood. My mood swings from mild depression to irritability with people and things. Even in my group of 'immigration fraud victims' I get irritated with the guys and gals that are working with me on this and that. Mostly I am AWOL. 

I reread my early posts to KenC on this thread. I see I was owly and nitpicky and sticking my nose where it don't belong. Sorry Ken, I was out of line. Sorry to Dan as well.


Maxx