All of a sudden I have a huge concern

[markge65]

I have been corresponding for almost 2 months now with a FSUW. She contacted me first through a Craigslist post. We started out slowly with some general info and have become good friends sharing many thoughts and ideas about life. Many pictures have been exchanged. All letters have been very specific when answering questions or making comments about things I have written in a previous letter. I have enjoyed the experience very much. We have been in no rush to talk about future plans or marriage or anything like that as of yet. I have become very interested in traveling to Russia to at least visit this woman and then see where it goes. I have spent many hours on the internet research as many topics as I can. Now for my concern. As I entered a site today a Russian Women dating site add popped up. I had never really looked at one and I was curious. On about the third page of beautiful woman, I am shocked too recognize a very familiar face. The woman I have been talkiing too. It would not have bothered me to have seen her face, considering she did contact me. My concer is none of the info is the same as what she has been telling me since we began talking. I even went through my pictures to make sure I was not mistaken. It is the same woman, right down to an anklett she has on in most of her pictures. Help me out here. I do have feelings for this woman and wanted them to progress but now Im thiinking scam. Any advice or insite woould be greatly appreciated.

[Diplomacy]

There are a few theories.

First, please realize that photos can be stolen and used. 

Second, look at some of the blacklist photo's.  Use both handles and information.

Third if she does not show up on the scammer or blacklist, search the address she has given you.

Have you talked to her?  Get her phone number.  Tell her you want to send a gift, if she has not given an address.  Send flowers, with and pay for a photo.

What website did you see her on?

It may be nothing, so do not freak out yet.

[Gator]

Many women are on multiple sites.  The different name is odd, however.

If she is a scammer, she will ask in one way or another for money.  Until then, enjoy it.  Be optimistic yet cautious.

Besides searching her address, select a couple of key phrases and sentences from her initial emails and Google them.

[JR]

Goolge her name, email address.

[JR]

Oh yeah, and google the info from the site you found her on. Might even be a good idea to sign up on the site and contact her using a different email address, name, etc. See what she has to say and compare notes

[ECOCKS]

As pointed out above, some gals are on multiple sites so nothing particularly wrong with that as long as it is not to excess.

Check and see if the two addresses and contact info are the same.

If one is different then someone may have picked up her pic and other info to run a scam.  

Of course then you would have to figure out which one is real and which is the scammer.

[ScottinCrimea]

Oh yeah, and google the info from the site you found her on. Might even be a good idea to sign up on the site and contact her using a different email address, name, etc. See what she has to say and compare notes

The problem with this is if someone is just using her pictures they will write things completely different.  Why don't you just ask her about it?

[Mishenka]

Never allow feelings to grow until after you meet, read the 10 commandments posted here and follow them closely.

mishenka

[GoodOlBoy]

I have become very interested in traveling to Russia to at least visit this woman and then see where it goes.

My advice is to send the flowers and get the picture taken.

It is a lot cheaper than a plane ticket and a broken heart.


GOB


BTW...If she is for real, she will really appreciate the gesture. 

[2tallbill]

It's not uncommon to get a little worried as the time for
a trip approaches. If I were you I would get her on the
phone. If her English isn't great then arrange a three way
call with AnastassiaAsh (AA) or one of the other RW here
that offer three way call services.

It might cost a few bucks but much cheaper than a wasted
trip or loss of sleep. AA has a pretty good BS detector and
can help you figure out where you stand.

Udachi !


Bill

[tim 360]

Use just little common sense here and DON'T start getting those warm and fuzzy feelings for someone you have not met.  An entity you only know from some emails?  Could be Igor.  And you are feeling warm?  Geeezzz,  I got some diamonds in Nigeria.   This could all be a fantasy you are indulging in.  Yeah, I know--she is beautiful--get over it.  Start with getting her phone # and speak with her.  And get a good interperter, like Anastasia Ash to help out.  Y'see few know a Russian or Ukrainian lady like one of them and they will know quickly if something is not right.  Most WM just can't do it as well.  Us guys can be a little biased.  We think with our little head usually.

[Maxx2]

After the cheaper alternatives you could try www.russian-detective.com 

They have a rate page of their various charges. Also they are ligit. 

[Daveman]

Lots of good steps listed above. 

It isn't unusual to find a lady on a couple of sites and with different information.  One of the ladies I went to visit was on several different sites some to her knowledge, and some not (and some of those had some different information).

There's no reason to panic as right now she's only a pen pal and possible first date, right?

Take some of the steps listed above, relax, and see what's what.  It would be very strange if you haven't spoken to her voice yet (after two months of emails). 

Don't fall in love with the photos.. even if she does have a sexy anklet (man, I love those) 

[JR]

The problem with this is if someone is just using her pictures they will write things completely different.  Why don't you just ask her about it?

Because if she/he is a/the scammer they will tell you the 'other' one is the scammer, then you won't know who to believe. In the end the scammer is the one who asks you for money for whatever reason.

It is no big deal if she is on more than one site. Most peeps here have been or are on more than one.

[markge65]

Thanks for all they great info. Guess I will tell you a bit  more now too. When I said feelings for her,they are still at the friend level. Im not crazy, yet any way. lol I also thought about stolen pix. One other thought was she was in college just a year or two ago. She may have just modeled for some cash and they used them. She has sent me pix of her at work and alot of details there too. Not like Im just getting the glam shots. I have calmed down a bit already and you all have been a big help also, so thank you for that. As for phoning her, she lives in a very remote village and works in a medical clinic that looks like a shack to me. How hard will it be to get a gift to here there, especially something fragile like flowers? As for her English Im assuming by her story that it will be very good. She has studied it for 18 years. Im not making a trip all that soon, was just very curious on everyones thoughts. Again thank you.

[Ronnie]

It makes more sense that the person who contacted you through CL and thus the one you've been corresponding with is the scammer.  There are a 100,000 ladies on dating sites and the first time you go to one, bingo! up pops the same girl's photo?  What are the odds?  Again, most likely the photos you've been receiving privately were snagged from the a public site by your CL scammer.

[ECOCKS]

Remote village? Clinic/shack? However she is on internet frequently?

Flags....

DOn't panic and get paranoid, but I would proceed cautiously and keep my hand on my wallet.

[markge65]

Great point Ronnie. Yea what are the odds. Obviously 100,000 to 1. I will say that if it turns out to be a scammer, they are very good, and very patient. Not one word of anything about money to this point. And right now we e-mail about twice a week each. Theres another question? She says she e-mails from work, so with the huge time difference and being that she would only be there during the day. Its usually she send one one day, receives mine the next day,and so on. None on the weekends. Oh well the only way I will find out for sure is to ask, right.

[Daveman]

Thanks for all they great info. Guess I will tell you a bit  more now too. When I said feelings for her,they are still at the friend level. Im not crazy, yet any way. lol I also thought about stolen pix. One other thought was she was in college just a year or two ago. She may have just modeled for some cash and they used them. She has sent me pix of her at work and alot of details there too. Not like Im just getting the glam shots. I have calmed down a bit already and you all have been a big help also, so thank you for that. As for phoning her, she lives in a very remote village and works in a medical clinic that looks like a shack to me. How hard will it be to get a gift to here there, especially something fragile like flowers? As for her English Im assuming by her story that it will be very good. She has studied it for 18 years. Im not making a trip all that soon, was just very curious on everyones thoughts. Again thank you.

You have not spoken with her?
How many letters do you exchange each week?

Remote village?

Does she tell you that she doesn't have a home/mobile phone?

Okay, does she send email from an internet cafe?   Look at the headers and see if everything looks normal, location, etc., and especially look for an email client called The Bat! in the header.  That is a cool little email client, but it's not really used at an internet cafe because it downloads email to the host computer (and why would anyone do that on a public computer?).  

So, what does "remote village" have to do with phone conversations?  If she tells you she doesn't have a phone, then that's a blazing red flag.  If she's a normal lady interested in you, she'll want you to call her, on her mobile phone, home phone, or work phone, or one of those gazillion Telekom centers  -- but she'll absolutely find a way to speak with you, guaranfreakinteed.

Still no need to panic, but you really should push for more personal information.  Ask her flat our for her home address, all of her telephone numbers.  Tell her you'd like call her, to hear her voice, and you'd like to send her something.  After two months of communication, if she hesitates at all, something is absolutely strange.

I ask for a phone number in the second or third letter (at the latest).

I didn't read the initial post closely enough... let me get this straight.. you placed a personal ad on Creative Loafing? and this babe from FSU contacted you?  If that is true, then Ronnie is probably correct that the CL lady is most likely the scammer (between legit website vs. out of the blue contact)

Just be level headed... why would you not want to meet her for a while?  After two months, and you feeling good about her, it's time to start thinking seriously about getting your ass on a plane.  Start talking about a possible meeting, and get her info. If she refuses or makes lame excuses, something is absolutely strange about the situation.  

[CalvinHobbes]

Remote village? Works in a clinic? Studied english for 18 years?

Sounds familiar.
 
Is her name Olga Rokina and she is a doctor at the health clinic in the village Gigant outside of Roston-on-Don? And the reason why you can't send her mail or call her is because there are Chechnian supporters in her area?

Long blonde hair and blue eyes and an ass to die for? Send me her pic and I'll let you know if it's the scammer emailing me.

calvin007hobbes@gmail.com

I bet you it's the same person.

[Daveman]

Remote village? Works in a clinic? Studied english for 18 years?

Sounds familiar.
 
Is her name Olga Rokina and she is a doctor at the health clinic in the village Gigant outside of Roston-on-Don? And the reason why you can't send her mail or call her is because there are Chechnian supporters in her area?

Long blonde hair and blue eyes and an ass to die for? Send me her pic and I'll let you know if it's the scammer emailing me.

calvin007hobbes@gmail.com

I bet you it's the same person.

 

Now there's one I haven't heard before.   

Who kept you from receiving phone calls?  Was it perhaps..... SAT.. er, I mean... the Chechnians????  sheesh

[markge65]

Well it took me until 230 am, but I found my answers. Before I tell me story, again I want to thank you all for the wonderful suggestions. They just saved me my money and possibly my heart. I searched many more dating sites but never found her pic. Thats the good news. Bad news is this, I started googling everything I could think of and the scammer isn't smart enough to change stories. She told me where she live, and her occupation, at least as her story went. And final there it was, same letter, pix and all, and posted by a guy that got burnt on Craigslist. I havent given hope because of this, but just became a whole lot wiser. Thanks again.

[ECOCKS]

As you say, older and wiser now.  Live and learn and don't let it put you off your plan too much, just develop a bit thicker skin to allow you to survive.

Best of luck!

[ambach123]

Humble piece of advise.

Ask for a phone number very early on.

Make a telephone call, and check if the area code matches the stated location.

If she says she does not have a phone, move on.

There is nobody in FSU without a phone, some have numerous phones.

A chance for a phone conversation will eliminate most scammers at this stage.

There are other kind of scammers, but that is at another stage, and they are much smarter.

[Kuna]

Humble piece of advise.

Ask for a phone number very early on.

Make a telephone call, and check if the area code matches the stated location.

If she says she does not have a phone, move on.

There is nobody in FSU without a phone, some have numerous phones.

A chance for a phone conversation will eliminate most scammers at this stage.

There are other kind of scammers, but that is at another stage, and they are much smarter.

Hey moneybags...  the word is advice...  but your "advise" was sound in any case!      



OP...  calling asap will eliminate all but the most professional of scammers.  Try not to be paranoid but no one should be trusted until after meeting.  Keep in mind, you cannot be scammed if you don't open your wallet!