Realities of FSUW

[Misha]

if denying the obvious makes them feel better-go ahead i know here are many reasonable men also.

So what exactly is the obvious that I am denying?  

[Misha]

and you re very proud of that huh

Yes, I value frugality. Here is an example: I bought a brand new Tommy Hilfinger shirt (pins were still in the collar) for $3. How much would the same shirt have cost in a boutique? $50? $60? We have better uses for our money than a price tag nobody will see  :evil:

[Zhena]

that if the woman has a choice who to marry-she will choose the one who can make more money over the one who proklaims 'non-materialistic' style of life

[Zhena]

Yes, I value frugality. Here is an example: I bought a brand new Tommy Hilfinger shirt (pins were still in the collar) for $3. How much would the same shirt have cost in a boutique? $50? $60? We have better uses for our money than a price tag nobody will see  :evil:

if you bought a new shirt for 3 bucks-good for you,i love look for the deals also. but to shop in second-hand is something different.

[Misha]

that if the woman has a choice who to marry-she will choose the one who can make more money over the one who proklaims 'non-materialistic' style of life

I am sure that applies to you, but one must be careful not to overgeneralize  Not every woman is a good fit for every man, and fortunately my wife does not share your worldview 

[Sculpto]

that if the woman has a choice who to marry-she will choose the one who can make more money over the one who proklaims 'non-materialistic' style of life

such a woman is not welcome in my life. 

I love how materialistic people define success as more money.  I am sorry to break your reality Zhena, but, there are a lot of other things that have much greater value than money but I am afraid they are not for sale and you would not be able to understand their value.

[Vaughn]

Well, one does not need to fall into extremes. My wife is stunning, yet she has bought clothing in used clothing stores 

Your wife is among the many that do, along with my own wife. Elvira loves a bargain. Being a
professional clothesmaker/seamstress, she delighted in finding that fashion could be purchased in the USA
for far less than the cost of her time, skill, and fabrics. Heck, the clearance racks are the first section she
checks - often, all that's left are the small sizes, 0, 2, 4. And she gladly scoops them up.

Yes, I value frugality.

Same here, Misha. If we shopped with little regard for budget, she wouldn't be visiting home right now.

that if the woman has a choice who to marry-she will choose the one who can make more money over the one who proklaims 'non-materialistic' style of life

Zhena, I'm in your camp about ladies preferring to have "toys" as you call them, but to make them a dealbreaker? I can
see my comrades taking issue with those priorities. I offered Elvira a comfortable life - but made it crystal clear it would
not be one of extravagance. It would take much work and effort. The notion of teamwork was attractive to her. Had a
man with twice the money approached with a marriage offer - would I have gone home empty handed? No. We invested
time cultivating trust, getting to know one another, considering options, planning our future. There was no way she would
have agreed to marry a stranger with a thick wallet. She wanted more than that. Some things money can't buy, as Misha,
Sculpto and SeriouslyJaded have stated. Where I might differ from them is I don't claim a non-materialistic status, just
a balanced one.

But I give you this: she does like cosmetics & fashion. She just doesn't worship them, and would never have made
life-altering decisions based on the promise of their accrual.

[Sculpto]

Who doesn't like toys?  Even non materialistic people like toys.  The question is whether or not you live for them, can not be happy without them, and base your self worth and self image on your possesion or the ability to posess them. 

I personally hate shopping for myself.  I do it when i have to and I like to get in and out as fast as possible.  Get what I need and go do something interesting.  The one exception might be the tool department at a good hardware store.. lol.  "A" is a very frugal shopper.  When in Moscow she preferred to waste half a day going to Ashan to save a couple of pennies than to go to Petrovskys right across the street.  When I found some "farmers" markets and got food for a quarter of the price at Ashan she was very surprised and happy and wanted to know exactly where they were so she could do it for herself later.  She was at all times almost too aware of not overspending.  When we went to the theater on Saturday night and found out what I paid for the tickets she was upset that I had wasted so much money.

The most miserable person I know in this life is also the one with the most money.  This is a guy I knew from high school.  He was pretty good with computers and wrote some software that EVERYONE here uses.. he is worth about 300 million.  But, he couldn't be satisfied with the private jet and the lambo and the 10,000 square foot house and wife and 2 kids and dog.. so he bought himself a stripper in vegas and put her into a nice condo.. when the wife found out and took him for 50% he tried to kill himself... now he doesn't talk.. goes through life like a zombie.. probably the meds I would guess.

The happiest person I know in this life is the one with the least money.  She is my "adopted" daughter in Mexico.  She lives in one small room with her husband and child on the hill above Puerto Escondido.  The toilet is an out house.  The cold shower is a bucket in between some mango trees.  She cooks the fish her husband catches every day from the boat.  When there are bad days and no fish and he runs out of fuel for the boat he dives off the rocky cliffs for lobsters.  She washes clothes by hand.  She does not have a tv, cell phone, cd player, car or any other modern toy.  But, when you see them with their child and the pure joy in both their eyes..

[Ronnie]

Jaded,but how much you earn IS part of who you are Some women like the ambitious men only and smart-not lazy enough to provide those ambitions in life. This is part of a mans personality. Some are created to fly and some are created to crawl,no offences.
But for every pot you can find a cover,thats right. Means there are the women who dont care about how much he can bring in the nest. Some women need the good attitude only.

Men's fortunes ebb and flow.  Which is the man, when he is riding high or when he has fallen on his face?  Is he not the same man?

Scott tells about his wife lying about the preserves to her friend.  And you ask what did she do with all those preserves?  It's apparent from these comments that you possess, Zhenya, some of the charactistics that western men don't find very appealing.  Perhaps we could teach you how to make your husband happy and in so doing he will make you happy.  Sorry to be so blunt, I've being trying to work on my diplomatic side, but occasionally I slip.

Scott, what's so ironic about your wife's lying to her friend is that her friend absolutely would never have believed her!  These folks go through life thinking they're deceiving others when in reality it is only themselves whom they deceive. 

My wife is guilty of this too and we almost broke up over it while we waited for the K1.  I just decided she had too many good qualities that could not be found elsewhere and we could work on breaking her of the habit of deception.   My wife still will lie to cover her own frailties but not to take anything from another. 

I don't know why or how it started, but nobody lies like the Russians and Ukrainians.  You see it throughout the culture, from their top leaders down to the little kids.  Try as we may, in this department, we can't compete.  On the occassion of finding a person in that dysfunctional society who does not deceive, you can rest well assured he or she is a gem.

[Vaughn]

I've being trying to work on my diplomatic side, but occasionally I slip.

      Ronnie - you slay me. No lie!

[Sculpto]

My wife still will lie to cover her own frailties but not to take from another. 

I don't know why or how it got started, but nobody lies like the Russians and Ukrainians.  You see it in their top leaders down to the little kids.  Try as we may, in this department, we can't compete.

Wow you really hit the nail on the head with your whole post Ronnie.  But the two parts I quoted are the ones that resonated the most for me.

I have noticed that these ladies are very good about being "honest" about their opinions of this or that, especially when it comes to their percieved shortcomings of their men.. but are not always very good at looking in the mirror.  

I have also noticed all the little white lies they tell each other about not important things designed to bolster the image they have with their so called friends.  

I have also noticed when doing business with anyone from the FSU one must be exceptionally carefull of this same phenomena.  I have a client right now that is working with a GC from Odessa.  These guys are making my clients life miserable.  They tell them exactly what they want to hear and then do whatever they feel like doing.  When they get called out on their mistakes they demand more money for the corrections and try to deflect the blame to someone else, or worse yet, right back onto the home owner.  A house that should have taken a year to build is now in its 27th month and the client is really at the end of their rope.  I have seen the same thing on numerous occasions with other FSU people who were clients and the worst of all was a Russian boss I had for two months.  He was so sketchy I couldn't stand it and had to quit working for him.  As a matter of coincidence I was at the design center yesterday and decided to poke my head into that showroom.. doors locked and lights out.. I asked around and learned the doors have been locked for 3-4 months due to non payment of rent..

[OlgaH]

I don't know why or how it started, but nobody lies like the Russians and Ukrainians.  You see it throughout the culture, from their top leaders down to the little kids.  Try as we may, in this department, we can't compete. 

Interesting, living in US I noticed  some Americans are masters to lie, cheat and  muddle smb's brain , probably they learn it from their leaders 

Should I mention something about business? Sometimes you should notify a client about legal actions if he will continue to delay payment... Or you order one thing and they send you absolutely another thing and then you should fight with them about it during months.   

[Ronnie]

Interesting, living in US I noticed  some Americans are masters to lie, cheat and  muddle smb's brain , probably they learn it from their leaders 

Should I mention something about business? Sometimes you should notify a client about legal actions if he will continue to delay payment... Or you order one thing and they send you absolutely another thing and then you should fight with them about it during months.   

OlgaH, You are as predictable as sunrise - yet another Russian trait. 

[Zhena]

I am tired to argue and prove something (to whom?) Most of men know that what I said here. If its something new for you-I am sorry. Nobody will go for the lower level of life ,especially to another country.If your stunning looking wife satisfied with Goodwill and the roof and the food,and doesnt want anything else-I can suggest her life was pretty miserable before and she is happy to escape. Because none of the women I know,wouldnt be happy in those conditions. Maybe you dont know your wife completely,never thought about that?
About the choice the woman has-if she has-who to marry...of course she will prefer the the man with the modest income but nice character over some rich abuser. But if their personal qualities are equal-sorry,but of course she will prefer somebody who can more. Its a natural selection,as I said.
I understand that some of you guys dont like it,but no necessary insult me-it just shows that you dont have what to say any more. Be happy with your stunning wives who is dressing in a Goodwill

[OlgaH]

OlgaH, You are as predictable as sunrise - yet another Russian trait. 

Oh no, most likely it is consequence of living in US, I should be more careful, because "Truman cold war disease'" and "McCarthy syndrome" are also infectious and can become chronicle   

[Ravens9273]

Just to add my two cents.

As Men we have always run to the pretty girls. This is life. Why do you think all the websites put the most beautifulest ladies first with their model looks on their sites? Because this will bring the men.

If we rate women on their looks. How can we be mad if ladies rate us on the size of our wallets?

Manily  (Majority) Men are attracked to long legs and big breasts while (Majority) women are attracked to big wallets.

This is life. One can not be angry at the other.

[JR]

Just to add my two cents.

As Men we have always run to the pretty girls. This is life. Why do you think all the websites put the most beautifulest ladies first with their model looks on their sites? Because this will bring the men.

If we rate women on their looks. How can we be mad if ladies rate us on the size of our wallets?

Manily  (Majority) Men are attracked to long legs and big breasts while (Majority) women are attracked to big wallets.

This is life. One can not be angry at the other.

You can if you have short legs and no wallet! ! !  : )

[Vaughn]

If your stunning looking wife satisfied with Goodwill and the roof and the food,and doesnt want anything else-I can suggest her life was pretty miserable before and she is happy to escape....  Maybe you dont know your wife completely,never thought about that?

Oh, Zhena - now you're groping to make your point despite some very reasonable retort. I would suggest that
it's more likely YOU have no idea about wives you've never met, and painting a dim picture to suit your belief.

Ravens, my then-fiancee and I spent many predawn mornings talking. Of course, financial condition was discussed,
but when we got right down to the quality that was most and mutually significant - it was dependability. If there
was anything "miserable" about my wife's life before me, chalk it up to an undependable spouse. Come to think of it,
that would also apply equally to me.

Zhena - if I may politely ask - just how old are you?

[JR]

If you told me that this was an American wife, I would say she was obviously ill.  Since she was Russian, it's hard to say if it was illness or just her culture.

She was diagnosed as Boderline Personality Disorder...worse than insanity.

[PeeWee]

So, should a man divorce his wife as soon as he finds a more beautiful woman? Dump her after the first wrinkle? If a woman wants to marry a richer man, she should should continue looking, and should not get married. Once she has made her choice, she should stop looking IMHO, as should he.

Many men will trade up as he gets older and more wealthy. The old wife is out and a new and younger one is in. You see this alot in Hollywood. Paul Hogan, Michael Douglas, etc.

Peewee

[Ade]

I am tired to argue and prove something (to whom?) Most of men know that what I said here. If its something new for you-I am sorry. Nobody will go for the lower level of life ,especially to another country.If your stunning looking wife satisfied with Goodwill and the roof and the food,and doesnt want anything else-I can suggest her life was pretty miserable before and she is happy to escape. Because none of the women I know,wouldnt be happy in those conditions. Maybe you dont know your wife completely,never thought about that?
About the choice the woman has-if she has-who to marry...of course she will prefer the the man with the modest income but nice character over some rich abuser. But if their personal qualities are equal-sorry,but of course she will prefer somebody who can more. Its a natural selection,as I said.
I understand that some of you guys dont like it,but no necessary insult me-it just shows that you dont have what to say any more. Be happy with your stunning wives who is dressing in a Goodwill

Like some others I've seen posting on this site, Ambach to mention but one, it seems that you are justifying and rationalising gold digger behaviour to suit your situation.

You should try to understand that there's a significant difference between a woman choosing quality of life with a person she loves compared to a woman choosing a life based on the weight of a man's wallet. And if you think quality of life equates to a fat wallet I'd say you have a hell of a lot to learn.

I will agree that most people like nice toys and baubles but as Sculpto says, that's a long way from living for material things. If your wife is as you describe you'd better hope that wallet of yours remains full otherwise she'll be looking to trade up.

I'll also reiterate what I've said previously; the MOB industry, by it's very nature, will attract those with a gold digger mentality in droves and skew the general perception of the men meeting these women.

And Zhena, if you think the amount of money a man has tells you anything more than how much money he has then, well, you are sadly deluding yourself.

[Zhena]

Zhena - if I may politely ask - just how old are you?

31,having a child and seen something in this life-so?
Jaded,the bunch of beautiful words. what is golddigger for you? if a woman doesnt want to count every cent,she is a golddiger? who said that ONLY money matter? but they are important arent they 8)and the quality of life includes the financial level also or you disagree?

[Zhena]

And Zhena, if you think the amount of money a man has tells you anything more than how much money he has then, well, you are sadly deluding yourself.

nothing,if he inherited them. If he made them himself-tells alot.

[Ade]

nothing,if he inherited them. If he made them himself-tells alot.

Go on then, explain, what does it tell you exactly?

And what would it tell you if I said I earned well into 6 figures?

[Ade]

31,having a child and seen something in this life-so?
Jaded,the bunch of beautiful words. what is golddigger for you? if a woman doesnt want to count every cent,she is a golddiger? who said that ONLY money matter? but they are important arent they 8)and the quality of life includes the financial level also or you disagree?

A gold digger is someone whose primary focus is on material wealth. She is the type of person that will disappear and upgrade if she thinks she can get more elsewhere or if she thinks you are not giving her everything she deserves. They tend to have a sense of entitlement too.

I grew up in a very poor family and lived on extremely little until I graduated and "made it". Back in the day I also used to equate material wealth with a lot of things including happiness. Then I grew up and realized that material wealth was actually quite a small part of the package; in fact, for most people, once their basic needs are met, the rest is just icing and adds little to the feelings of self worth, contentment and happiness. Of course, then there are those with the gold digger mentality that think that happiness can be bought.

Although your posts indicate your age and inexperience, I'd pegged your photo at 40 - 45.