Realities of FSUW

[Sculpto]

I am not sure it is acne and it isn't very bad.. she just gets some clusters of small pimples.. for that matter I am 45 and I still get the same thing on occasion. 

And to answer the question about having kids.. she wants to have kids with me but not before she is 25-26 years old and has finished Uni and had a chance to start her career.  She is aware that her time frame is at the outside limits of what is reasonable for me.. I don't want to be an invalid when my kids are teens..

[SANDRO43]

its always fascinating to learn about peoples background here. I like the diversity of not only backgrounds but occupations. I think it keeps the discussion from getting stale

We haven't heard from our resident dermatologist (Mir) yet .

[Zhena]

You can't diagnose skin conditions without examination and, sometimes, pathology. Assuming we are talking about acne, some of them require treatment with multiple antibiotics while others will need cortisone/steroid compound applications for years in an attempt to reduce the disfiguring effects.

There is no one answer as to cause.

The cause of acne is hormonal. I am not talking about the treatment and the forms of acne. There are the medicamentous acne too,but its not this case. Its just a light acne,will disappear with the age.
Interesting,what Mir thinks?

[mies]

 
And to answer the question about having kids.. she wants to have kids with me but not before she is 25-26 years old and has finished Uni and had a chance to start her career.  She is aware that her time frame is at the outside limits of what is reasonable for me.. I don't want to be an invalid when my kids are teens..

this is very reasonable from her perspective. First - to get settled in the new country, "stand firm on her feet" as we say in Russian, get citizenship or the GreenCard. It is also a good idea to wait with kids to find out how compatible you two are. Plus - she has no time pressure, and you two can use these years to travel, enjoy each other etc. Also - it will be much easier for you Sculpto, if she will get adapted in the new country before having baby - then she will at least partly be able to take care of herself and baby, and you won't have to make all arrangements etc.  Also - you aren't really giving her a choice - because you demand her to be contributing to household, so she simply cannot "afford" time and resource wise to get pregnant before she feels comfortable in the USA. Of what I observed - when two people are in love, and money isn't a big issue - they do not set targets like "not earlier than in 5/7/10 years". Also, pardon me for being direct - my impression was that you will not give her good child alimony "if".. So there is another reason why she may be not taking the risk in having child with you... early.

My point is - if having kids is critical for you - you are in a somewhat risky situation. If in 5 years she will decide you 2 aren't good fit, you will be 50, and still no kids. She may as well think in 5 years that she wants a younger father for her child. But then - many men aren't that much interested in having kids, so maybe you are 1 of them. Or maybe you will be happy together and all will go well and accordingly to your plan.

[ECOCKS]

OK, it's really neither if we are going to split hairs and go into a medical discussion.   

Acne is triggered by hormones in the blood. This usually occurs in teenagers but can be anywhere from infancy well into middle age. The type of acne you develop as a result is based upon the response of the sebaceous glands and the amount of secretions resulting.  

There are multiple types and each type calls for different treatment protocols as I mentioned. The point is that without an examination, the treatment, cure(s), etc. cannot be determined.  

Happier now?

[JR]

I am really disappointed at the locker room humor.  I thought you guys were Men and adults.  I guess I was wrong.

Of course you're wrong silly boy

But I find it amusing that you provided the impetus for the beginning of the locker room humor by your locker room comment that having sex with you was the cure for her ance. Do you fail to see the lack of respect for your girl in your words?

[JR]

you are mean.... now Sculpto will lose his sleep and will be checking his fiance again

If he wasn't before he will be after your suggestion....and you call me mean

[mies]

If he wasn't before he will be after your suggestion....and you call me mean

I was joking of course )

locker room comment that having sex with you was the cure for her ance. Do you fail to see the lack of respect for your girl in your words?

i also thought it was kind of crude humor

Sculpto gives me impression of  .. kind of "soft and fluffy" and naive college student. Somehow i get a feeling from forum that he is very nice person, and i feel bad looking at his "planning". Not that I am very old, mature and experienced. And definitely I have no reasons to envy him. I just wish he finds true love and his "perfect detailed plan" works.

[Zhena]

OK, it's really neither if we are going to split hairs and go into a medical discussion.   

Acne is triggered by hormones in the blood. This usually occurs in teenagers but can be anywhere from infancy well into middle age. The type of acne you develop as a result is based upon the response of the sebaceous glands and the amount of secretions resulting.  

There are multiple types and each type calls for different treatment protocols as I mentioned. The point is that without an examination, the treatment, cure(s), etc. cannot be determined.  

Happier now?
 

So what was I talking about? For sure not about a treatment
Lets really not turn it into a medical discussion. Topic getting more and more ridiculous
We started about the golddiggers,and me as an example of one-and finished by acne and insulting the girl we dont know. Dont be so evil,guys

[Sculpto]

Of course you're wrong silly boy

But I find it amusing that you provided the impetus for the beginning of the locker room humor by your locker room comment that having sex with you was the cure for her ance. Do you fail to see the lack of respect for your girl in your words?

we were talking about hormones Jolly.  there was no lack of respect intended or implied.  a point was made about hormone imbalance, my GF had mentioned the same thing.. thats not locker room bravado.. its a medical history and was rather serious as there was also suggestion that the beer was causing the problem.  It was a kind of "eureka" moment for me.  

Unfortunately some guys decided to giggle and point fingers cuz oh my gosh someone had sex!  

But, I learned my lesson about being open with my life on this forum.  I have tried to share my experiences so I could understand my situation better and maybe to help someone else in the future.  But, you can be sure I won't be doing that anymore.  Now I will just sit back and throw "punches" at every stupid thing everyone else does and says.

and btw I am not worried that she is out having sex with other men.  she is starting a new job and trying to get her life back into order after the ordeal with her Father, and, getting her life in order so she can leave Russia and be with me.  Chasing men is the last thing on her mind at the moment.  But, I guess for some guys who have experienced the disloyalty of their women they prefer to assume all women are the same as the sluts and psychos they married.  

[JR]

we were talking about hormones Jolly.  there was no lack of respect intended or implied.  a point was made about hormone imbalance, my GF had mentioned the same thing.. thats not locker room bravado.. its a medical history and was rather serious as there was also suggestion that the beer was causing the problem.  It was a kind of "eureka" moment for me.  

Man up, you dissed your woman on a public forum. There was serious lack of respect for the act 'A' had with you.

[mies]

don't get bitter Sculpto. I'm sure nobody wanted offend you or your fiance. 


Since I am not banned from google, even though I don't have any specialized books in my house - this is for you Zhena:
Пиво вредно влияет на гормоны человека

Пиво содержит ряд токсических веществ, в том числе соли тяжелых металлов, вызывающих изменения в эндокринной системе. Так, в организме мужчин при систематическом употреблении пива выделяется вещество, подавляющее выработку мужского полового гормона тестостерона. Одновременно начинают вырабатываться женские половые гормоны, вызывающие изменения внешнего вида мужчины. У пьющих пиво мужчин разрастаются грудные железы, становится шире таз. У женщин,.. становится грубее голос и появляются так называемые "пивные усы".

установлено, что диагноз "пальпируемая печень" чаще всего диагностируется у людей, систематически употребляющих пиво.


But what do I know. Hormones just exist in the body. They come at certain age, they leave at certain age.

[Sculpto]

Hye Jolly.. if "manning up" means being like you I would prefer to be a woman.  You can ignore me from now on.

Mies.. I am not bitter.. I just dont tolerate idiots, especially persistent ones. 

[Mishenka]

Man it sure is cold and windy tonight.

Eric, all is going to be fine. We artistic types understand each other well.  Others just don't get it. That's OK. Don't let it get you down. I've learned to grow some feathers and let the water roll off the ducks back. Ya know what I mean. So far most of your posts are easily understood by me. Others somehow miss the main points and see only what they want to see, with critical eyes. They love to poke fun at the expense of playing the fool. Endorfins heal a lot of things, its medical fact. Sex being the main thing that releases them can be a factor in healing skin blemishes etc. No brainer on that one. It's hormonal, so what,,, lets learn something new. Happy hormones to all,

Mishenka

[JR]

Hye Jolly.. if "manning up" means being like you I would prefer to be a woman.  You can ignore me from now on.

Mies.. I am not bitter.. I just dont tolerate idiots, especially persistent ones. 

Yeah, you won't catch me making the type of comments you made then crying about others walking thru the door I opened. In fact a have enough class to leave the acts of love making with the woman I profess to love off of public forums. But then you are just another "Internet Tiger." And if I'm the idiot for thinking so, then so be it. Doubt I'm alone.

[JR]

Man it sure is cold and windy tonight.

Eric, all is going to be fine. We artistic types understand each other well. others just don't get it. That's OK. Don't let it get you down. I've learned to grow some feathers and let the water roll off the ducks back. Ya know what I mean. So far most of your posts are easily understood by me. Others somehow miss the main points and see only what they want to see, with critical eyes. They love to poke fun at the expense of playing the fool. Endorphins heal a lot of things, its medical fact. Sex being the main thing that releases them can be a factor in healing skin blemishes etc. No brainer on that one. It's hormonal, so what,,, lets learn something new. Happy hormones to all,

Mishenka

Whats to get? Sculpto makes fun of "A's" acne being 'cured' by his manly attentions and then puts others down for jumping on the wagon he's driving. Then he gets upset when a couple of peeps point out that it seems a bit disrespectful to his girl? Me thinks theres a bit of hypocrisy running around...

[ECOCKS]

Zhena - that was responding to Sandro's point regarding cause of one form of skin problem. You were certainly on track with regard to the basic function of the glands with regard to acne. Other skin conditions could well be caused by liver problems.

However, the topic of realities of FSUW is indeed getting a bit fuzzy as we venture off into skin conditions. Let's revive the topic if we can.....

On that note, I have heard similar stories with regard to a more general attitude of "sex (and hormonal release) is good for you" both directly in the FSU and, more generally, in Europe proper. These stories were from both students and a couple of the gals I dated.

So, perhaps some of our FSU members (of both sexes) can offer up some enlightenment on whether they feel that one general reason for more open sexuality might be a cultural belief that it's good for you?

For that matter does anyone care to comment on what I am describing as a "generally more open" attitude towards sexual activity in the FSU than the States or elsewhere in Europe?

[JR]

I have read, heard and experienced that frequent sex makes a lot of things better. Less stress etc. etc. etc.

I have heard one rather funny reason. It's so cold in Russia that couples tend to stay indoors. And what else to do on those cold, lonely nights?

I think some of the reason has to do with religion. Many people fled Europe due to religious percecution. They came to freely practice their beliefs. Russia tried to go Atheistic. A lot of Europe is far away from their religous roots. Most religions poo-poo the concept of sex outside of marriage. So: less religion = more sexual activity. Maybe an oversimplification but hey, it should get the ball rolling

[mies]

So, perhaps some of our FSU members (of both sexes) can offer up some enlightenment on whether they feel that one general reason for more open sexuality might be a cultural belief that it's good for you?

For that matter does anyone care to comment on what I am describing as a "generally more open" attitude towards sexual activity in the FSU than the States or elsewhere in Europe?

I can speak only for my socio-cultural circle back in FSU. Sexuality exists only for married couples - only mature married women get comments that they are attractive with sexual connotation. What you view as a "sexuality" - women looking sexually attractive - is in many cases not more than a flirt and "promise" - an attempt to attract a man and potential husband. Sexuality "for health reasons" - I would not give it even 1% of all intercourses happening. Probably not even 0.1%

In my impression, sexuality is much less acceptable in Ukraine (where I am from) than it is in the USA (at least in the younger generation of Americans under 30).

Russia tried to go Atheistic. A lot of Europe is far away from their religous roots. Most religions poo-poo the concept of sex outside of marriage. So: less religion = more sexual activity. Maybe an oversimplification but hey, it should get the ball rolling

I would not buy into this explanation. In non-religious Soviet Union the woman was often treated as sexless "pal" - товарищ. It was an official neutral gender definition/name of a soviet citizen. The word itself has masculine gender, so in a way - women were de-gendered by this definition. And sexuality was not viewed upon favorably by Soviet societal norms.
Your example about "nothing to do in FSU" - not quite true. Firstly because only married people would normally stay together in the apartment. So you can speak only about sexuality in the marriage. And married people were often living with kids or with parents in tiny apartments. So sexuality was limited by presence of the "audience". Secondly - there were plenty of things to do - starting with multiple voluntary associations, personal development unions, professional unions etc.

[Ade]

Not exactly(Ill answer in english,so everybody can understand).
The teenager acne,appers when the gender hormones start to work. The hormon testosteron targets the sebum glands so they produce more sebum. The sebum collects in the glands,and the germs like the sebum. Thats how we get an inflammation-and acne. There are the other hormones -steroids-which influens on the sebum glands. There also can be a normal level of testosterone but the increased sensitivity of the glands to this hormon.
The diet can correct the condition a little,but not so much. What the sugar does-the germs love the sugar,so they grow faster. The spicy food also increases the production of the sebum.Etc. So does the alcohol.

There are various and many causes of acne; yes, the root cause could be hormonal, but she's out of her teens isn't she so there is a higher probability that is has more to do with her lifestyle (smoking, alcohol, stress) or at least that may play a large role. There could also be other factors such as allergens at work there.

[Zhena]

don't get bitter Sculpto. I'm sure nobody wanted offend you or your fiance. 


Since I am not banned from google, even though I don't have any specialized books in my house - this is for you Zhena:
Пиво вредно влияет на гормоны человека

Пиво содержит ряд токсических веществ, в том числе соли тяжелых металлов, вызывающих изменения в эндокринной системе. Так, в организме мужчин при систематическом употреблении пива выделяется вещество, подавляющее выработку мужского полового гормона тестостерона. Одновременно начинают вырабатываться женские половые гормоны, вызывающие изменения внешнего вида мужчины. У пьющих пиво мужчин разрастаются грудные железы, становится шире таз. У женщин,.. становится грубее голос и появляются так называемые "пивные усы".

установлено, что диагноз "пальпируемая печень" чаще всего диагностируется у людей, систематически употребляющих пиво.


But what do I know. Hormones just exist in the body. They come at certain age, they leave at certain age.

Wow,you should translate that for the guys!
But if its true,then the beer should improve the skin. As it inhibits the testosterone.

[Zhena]

Zhena - that was responding to Sandro's point regarding cause of one form of skin problem. You were certainly on track with regard to the basic function of the glands with regard to acne. Other skin conditions could well be caused by liver problems.

However, the topic of realities of FSUW is indeed getting a bit fuzzy as we venture off into skin conditions. Let's revive the topic if we can.....

On that note, I have heard similar stories with regard to a more general attitude of "sex (and hormonal release) is good for you" both directly in the FSU and, more generally, in Europe proper. These stories were from both students and a couple of the gals I dated.

So, perhaps some of our FSU members (of both sexes) can offer up some enlightenment on whether they feel that one general reason for more open sexuality might be a cultural belief that it's good for you?

For that matter does anyone care to comment on what I am describing as a "generally more open" attitude towards sexual activity in the FSU than the States or elsewhere in Europe?

Well,I dont see anything wrong with that,if I got you right. Sex if definitely good for you in many ways,if you do it safely and with the loved person

[Zhena]

There are various and many causes of acne; yes, the root cause could be hormonal, but she's out of her teens isn't she so there is a higher probability that is has more to do with her lifestyle (smoking, alcohol, stress) or at least that may play a large role. There could also be other factors such as allergens at work there.

Jaded,please,dont argue with me here at least. You re not a dermatologist. I will listen only Mirs opinion. He is a specialist,and so I am. Yes,a hormonal disbalance causes the acne in women up to their 40-es.

[ECOCKS]

What you view as a "sexuality" - women looking sexually attractive - is in many cases not more than a flirt and "promise" - an attempt to attract a man and potential husband.

No, that's not what I meant at all. I was referring to becoming sexually active. I distinguish that from promiscuity and even the loss of virginity since the students and family situations I am talking about tend to be in sequential relationships rather than frenzied, overlapping ones. Multiple students confirm sleepovers are common where the apartments are large enough to allow a bit of privacy. Several families I have met have a child living with their BF or GF in the flat. Which is rare in my social circles stateside. My sense of it is that this is more accepted in this area (Ukraine) and I presumed (perhaps wrongly) Russia was the same.

Sexuality "for health reasons" - I would not give it even 1% of all intercourses happening. Probably not even 0.1%

I wasn't saying that either. I said "hormonal release/sex is good for you". I have heard this from Ukrainian doctors (plural) which took me aback more than a step or two or twelve. Maybe I meet a biased group though. It seems to be heading in that direction here as well. Jolly brings out this point and certainly there is a growing belief here in the US that frequent sex results in the release of various chemicals and relieves stress/tension. Someone is pushing that 200 times per year milestone for determining minimum healthy sex.

In my impression, sexuality is much less acceptable in Ukraine (where I am from) than it is in the USA (at least in the younger generation of Americans under 30).

Maybe you need to define sexuality in your context? For me it is a generally more accepted attitude by society towards couples being engaged in openly acknowledged sexual relationships.

A small part of this acceptance is seen in the fashion sense. We see this in other areas of Europe as well, just not to the same degree we do here. Other indicators include the attitudes towards sexual harassment, prostitution, frank and explicit conversations and the like. As for history, I have this distinct impression that while orgies weren't the order of the day, those long Young Pioneers' trips and summertime work programs to the country were not that different from some summer camps here but with government organization may have come to be more institutionalized.
 

[Ade]

Jaded,please,dont argue with me here at least. You re not a dermatologist. I will listen only Mirs opinion. He is a specialist,and so I am. Yes,a hormonal disbalance causes the acne in women up to their 40-es.

And you are a dermatologist or a beautician?

Reading is easy, even I can do it.