Visiting one woman vs a couple of women on the same trip

[GoodOlBoy]

I'm not proud of what i did personally, that was totally wrong, but i was so furious...

I am curious Aloe, what did you "do"? 


GOB

[Aloe]

i wrote to them from his messenger, pretending to be him and said he has been dating a local girl all along, and put them on block-list that's stored on the server, and i know that he wouldn't be able to unblock or even figure out what's wrong with his messenger on his own and would think they are simply ignoring him, cuz he is very noob with computers. he deserved the treatment, but those girls didn't deserve it. he was telling all 3 of us how he loves us and can't imagine living without us and drew this little pretty picture of a happy family. Very low.

[Aloe]

and if you are curious what i was doing on his messenger in the first place, that was because i caught him lying so many times, at some point i decided to check what's up. i shouldn't have continued talking to him after i caught him lying, but i felt something for him, that was really silly, to feel something for person you've never met.

[Gator]

I'm not proud of what i did personally, that was totally wrong, but i was so furious...

Aloe,


What you did was hilarious, and I see nothing wrong it.  Why?  He deserved it.

I like your spirit, and you are clever dyev.  Thank you for sharing.  Your experience is a lesson for the keyboard Romeos  to be careful about the promises they make.

I hope you stay around RWD and continue to post your experience and opinions. 

[Caddydaddy]

Well, honesty is a very important factor. Some thoughts of my experience, maybe it is interesting to read for others on their search. As I started out in the "RW business" last year I first thought an agency would be good. Maybe a preselection from agency side would be advantageous to find the right woman for me, I thought. According to the experiences I made, this is naive and bulls***. You get sugarcoated letters and and lies belong to that business. Even the owner confessed once "the man does not know what's going on behind the scene", says it all to me. 

Thanks to RWD someone mentioned LuckyLovers last year. I thought I will join just for fun and to see how it works, I did not expect anything clever. After two days my mailbox was full. Scammers, whores, and some serious woman. Even thought I had a Favorite in Siberia at that time, I started to write with some. Among others with my Baby. We confessed each other that we have other contacts too. We communicated very openly and honest, we went so far and gave each other hints what's best to find Mrs or Mr Right. We got friends. I still was blinded about the "Favorite", due to glamour shots and sugarcoated letters.

As we all know, only a personal meet can tell the truth. I visited the "Favorite". Seeing her for the first time, after 4 seconds the little man I my ear woke up and whispered: Boy, be careful! I answered: Shut up, now I am here and I wanna see. Strangely enough, as I was in Siberia I smsed my Baby and asked her if she would have found her dream man now. She was glad that I sent a message to her. As I was back home I knew in general, that was a dud. Letters, phonecalls and appearance of my Favorite did not meet my belief.
Time to finally see my friend, I thought. I did not have glamour shots, no sugarcoated letters all was 1:1. As I met her for the first time at the airport, after 3 seconds I was overwhelmed. I hugged her and kissed her cheeks until the little man in my ear said: Boy, what are you doing???  Reality got ahead of my belief.

Tomorrow she will be here for the third time… :heartafire:

Caddydaddy

[Aloe]

my now fiance gave me a really hot french kiss as soon as he saw me in the airport, that was SO unexpected  lucky for him he is hawt, and i liked him so it was fine, but if anyone else tried it, wouldn't work. And i didn't get my magical first kiss, he just landed 1 when i was unprepared! Lol. Maybe perhaps better to not kiss someone as soon as you can get your hands on them and hold out a little bit until you are sure they are prepared for it    I'm glad it went fine for you though

[Caddydaddy]

Aloe, I kissed her NOT on the mouth and it was NOT a french kiss! 
Just three little kisses on the cheeks.
Our first REAL KISS came later 

[Noyrt]

Eventually, you have to get down to just one.
KenC

Thanks Ken,

It's interesting that years ago when I first contemplated this 'quest'.  Most of the opinions and advice were to write many visit many...
I was considered crazy to make a trip with just one woman in mind primarily to meet..
 (though it didn't work out and I didn't have a backup plan the first time)

Now it seems most advise and opinions are more directed to write one visit one..

Just a thought..

[Gator]

Now it seems most advise and opinions are more directed to write one visit one..

Not my advice for a newbie.  Nor for a man in a rebound. 

My personal opinion is that 4-5 letters and a couple of phone calls are enough to decide whether to meet someone.  Then go meet her (and a few others).

If the communication continues for 3-4 months, and you and she are sharing close secrets, and you feel yourself becoming so attracted that you think little about the other RW, then go and meet just the one.  Try to temper your expectations and be sure to be skeptical.  If not, the process can elevate expectations to an undeniable level, especially for romantic souls.

[Ade]

Not my advice for a newbie.  Nor for a man in a rebound. 

My personal opinion is that 4-5 letters and a couple of phone calls are enough to decide whether to meet someone.  Then go meet her (and a few others).

If the communication continues for 3-4 months, and you and she are sharing close secrets, and you feel yourself becoming so attracted that you think little about the other RW, then go and meet just the one.  Try to temper your expectations and be sure to be skeptical.  If not, the process can elevate expectations to an undeniable level, especially for romantic souls.

I think it all comes down to how much you trust your judgement when whittling down the selection to one woman and how thorough you are while doing it.

If you are confidant that you've found someone that you can be friends with even if there's no physical chemistry and you're not shooting way out of your league when it comes to age and looks, then there shouldn't be a problem visiting just one. In any case, it's not exactly difficult to set up a backup plan (agency numbers etc) if it all goes tits up.

I think the key is to make sure the selection criteria are as realistic as possible to improve the probability of success. Some seem to take a "close the eyes and stick a pin in the most beautiful photo" approach and then wonder why they still can't find someone that's compatible.

[GoodOlBoy]

I think the key is to make sure the selection criteria are as realistic as possible to improve the probability of success. Some seem to take a "close the eyes and stick a pin in the most beautiful photo" approach and then wonder why they still can't find someone that's compatible.

I agree with SeriouslyJaded.

A Newbie has to be "realistic" with the type of woman he is pursuing.

Chasing "HOT" 10's is just unrealistic....FUN....BUT....Unrealistic!!  :evil:

This may sound mundane, BUT....You must have some kind of intellectual compatibility with your future Russian wife......otherwise.

After 4 years of marriage, my wife still stimulates GoodOlBoy...."mentally".


GOB

[russianfront]

Another almost 6 hour chat with my gal tonight...oh am I smitten with her...
But here is another wrinkle...she has a 4 year old son. Her ex apparently is not a part of their lives almost at all. He pays almost nothing. Before I go too deep with her what are the laws (somebody here must know) about her taking her child with her out of Russia if her ex says no to everything? Are we hooped at that point. She would not leave without her child nor would I want her to.
Does anyone have any advice in this regard? I dont want to waste 6 month to a year to find out it was all a futile waste of time in the end...

[Gator]

Regarding a child....yes, the US Govt will require the father's permission for the child to enter the US. 

Rather than asking father for his permission, the mother should consider asking the father now to grant her sole custody.

Assuming the two of you become engaged some day, do not wait until the end of the visa process to seek permission because some fathers have balked (or asked for a large payment knowing that she plans to marry a "rich" AM).   OTOH, some RM, wishing the best for their children, have granted it.

My wife and I had to go through the Russian courts because the father was missing, whereabouts unknown.

BTW, children are the frosting on the cake.  And a 4-yo is a wonderful age for this.  And a RW may wish to have a common child too.

[Faux Pas]

Another almost 6 hour chat with my gal tonight...oh am I smitten with her...
But here is another wrinkle...she has a 4 year old son. Her ex apparently is not a part of their lives almost at all. He pays almost nothing. Before I go too deep with her what are the laws (somebody here must know) about her taking her child with her out of Russia if her ex says no to everything? Are we hooped at that point. She would not leave without her child nor would I want her to.
Does anyone have any advice in this regard? I dont want to waste 6 month to a year to find out it was all a futile waste of time in the end...

It's great that your conversations are going so well but, thats all they are at this juncture, conversations. You do not yet have a relationship per se. IMHO you've put the cart way ahead of the horse. My advice would to do slow way down. You are thinking logistics to a marriage that hasn't happened yet and a marriage that shouldn't even be considered at this point. Work on knowing and developing a relationship with her. RF if you continue to look at this lady or future ones as a time and/or money investment, you might be overlooking the bigger picture.

When you find the woman you can't live without you'll likely make all the logistics happen.

[russianfront]

By the way I am in Canada not the US so I am not sure the same laws apply here, but I should assume so. I will try to pick just the right speed of relations, not too fast, not too slow. Its hard to know where this line is but I will just see if I can always keep it around there....I will ask her when the time is right to see what the father`s feeling is towards his son. From what she tells me he is a bit of a deadbeat.

[Shadow]

Are you divorced ? Get an opinion on you of your ex-wife through some male channel and you will also not come out as a holy guy.
Regarding the laws, in most cases the father is custodian which means that if the child leaves Russia he will have to sign a document giving permission. Should you get this far, at first leave it to her and do not interfere. Usually the father will start asking some :$$$: if a foreigner is involved. If and how much he gets depends on negotiations.

[CONCRETE RIVER]

One other facet: with these five living over vast distances, will it be feasible to visit more than
one at all? And will geography in itself spell the demise of one or more of your prospects?
Vaughn

^this seems to be my delima.  The girl who I am connection with the most is in Beltsy, Moldova(small city)  Transportation there is a pain from what I have read, not to mention the country is reported being corrupted to boot!

[ECOCKS]

Fly into Odessa or Kyiv and then take the train to Chisinau and then on to her place in Beltsy would be my advice. There have been riots in Chisinau but no travel advisories and no issues of attacks on foreigners.