expressing my disappointment!!!!!!!

[KievHarmony]

i would like to express my extreme disappointment, disdain and unhappiness with the ugly system that makes marriage the only means for being together, this is just ridiculous !!!!!!!!! i really wanna be with my fiance and marry him, but we can't freaking afford it, so i can't have a wedding dress, i wish we could be together without marrying until we could afford an actual wedding. *snip*s lawmakers. and now im' gonna go and cry !!!!!!!!!!!
i shouldn't have tried it on, didn't know it would make me so upset

budget for our wedding was 8000$ CAD, including dress, suit for me (taylor made), one luxury apartment in Kiev, honey moon in Lviv and the cost of travel for my mother from France... I wanted to purchase a french made dress for my wife but she refused and did not want to spent 1000$ on it so it was one bought 200$ and modified by a taylor to her taste for another 200$...
We have had supper at Monako in Kiev for 12 people, it was 2400$ with entry/main dish/cheese/sorbet/wedding cake
We were even able to have a group of traditional ukrainian singers and some fireworks.

How we made it ? we brought all Alcohol from France (it was a little risky : 16 bottle of champaign at Borispol...my mother is living 50 km from a producer) and we let the difference we did not drink to the restaurant. The bottle was costing us 12 euros...We did not pay the photograph, it was his gift for the wedding, we did not pay the singers, it was another gift...and same for fireworks..

Try to be imaginative and you can reduce the cost.

 

[Sculpto]

Your obsession with fire will soon reduce you to a cinder-Ella, if you don't wear asbestos undergarments .

what do you mean?  I am invincible!  Just like JR..

Sculpto's Fire Resume..
Walk on fire.. done
Eat fire.. done
Blow fire.. done
Fart Fire.. done (eww)
Start fire with two sticks... done
Start fire with two rocks.. done
Use fire to build something.. done
Use fire to destroy something.. done
Burn private parts.. done (hahah JK)
Burn someone else private parts... done (sadly not JK)
make a really big explosion with illegal materials.. done
draw attention of police with explosives.. done
scare the hell out of myself and everyone around me... done
stop doing stupid things.. not yet (well mostly anyway)

[JR]

I think the men here talking about how a woman doesn't need a wedding dress are:

A. Talking out of their a$$s

or

B. Clueless.

I don't think you can underestimate the power in a woman's mind that one day holds. My ex did not wear a white wedding dress though she had every right to. We had a very small, inexpensive wedding. It came down to buy a house or pay for a wedding. I still feel the right choice was made but I have never lost the impression of her sadness over not having that dress.
Ravens, I know your wife loves you, but do yourself a favor and on your first anniversary marry her again and let her wear the dress...

[ECOCKS]

I'm with Ravens on this one. I seem to remember my wife wore a long-sleeved brown pullover and beige slacks for our wedding but I might be wrong........

[Daveman]

I think the men here talking about how a woman doesn't need a wedding dress are:

A. Talking out of their a$$s

or

B. Clueless.

I don't think you can underestimate the power in a woman's mind that one day holds. My ex did not wear a white wedding dress though she had every right to. We had a very small, inexpensive wedding. It came down to buy a house or pay for a wedding. I still feel the right choice was made but I have never lost the impression of her sadness over not having that dress.
Ravens, I know your wife loves you, but do yourself a favor and on your first anniversary marry her again and let her wear the dress...

And from where, exactly, did this power come?  I'm old enough to remember the good old days where a wedding was as simple as dragging her off to the cave and *&^*&%#(*$&#* and that was the end of it.  Ahhhh, the good ole days, when men were men and caves were the epitome of comfort!   

[Ooooops]

i would like to express my extreme disappointment, disdain and unhappiness with the ugly system that makes marriage the only means for being together, this is just ridiculous !!!! i wish we could be together without marrying until we could afford an actual wedding. *snip*s lawmakers.

Dear Aloe, like others said - why don't you elope first and then have big fancy wedding after?   
 
(we eloped (15 years ago) but with ought the "fancy after" at all)

[Aloe]

i don't have time for an elaborate post right now, i will come back and post in a few hours. thank you all for compliments, unfortunately big wedding vs small wedding is not even a question, we have 2 thousand euro to start a life, which includes buying ALL the furniture, as he lived with his parents before this and we just rented a place, and my parents can't help either cuz they are trying to pay off their own stuff (mortgage+rent, cuz asshole contractor still hasn't finished building like promised 2 years ago, so still have to pay rent of another place on top of mortgage), soo yeah.. plus what my fiance will earn , minus rent, he will have 2,5 -3k euro saved by the time i come over, that barely leaves any money for a wedding, let alone wedding dress.. it's really sad to think that that crappy phone picture is the only picture in wedding dress i'll ever have and these compliments on the forum, are the only compliments i'll ever get on my wedding dress...

[Ravens9273]

Aloe,
I think the 2 of you are going to be just fine. Yor last post says alot. You knew his situation and you love him just the same. This is what marriage is all about. 2 people sticking beside one another. He found a great girl and is a luck man. I wish you two all the best.

[Ooooops]

Aloe, dear, don't be so upset...   Judging by that picture you are very young (and beautiful ), so everything is ahead for two of you.   5 years (or less, if economy picks up  ) down the road you can go to Maldives or something and renew your vows with even more beautiful dress.       I can understand the fairy tail wedding dream of a girl, but hey, in my Universe, it's the Prince that makes my life happy, not the clothes.   

[Ade]

Aloe, dear, don't be so upset...   Judging by that picture you are very young (and beautiful ), so everything is ahead for two of you.   5 years (or less, if economy picks up  ) down the road you can go to Maldives or something and renew your vows with even more beautiful dress.       I can understand the fairy tail wedding dream of a girl, but hey, in my Universe, it's the Prince that makes my life happy, not the clothes.   

Yes, well said.

[Ooooops]

Yes, well said.

Thanks.   

Ooops...   just noticed - "fairy tale", not "fairy tail" or "furry tail" or any other kind of tail...   

[kievstar]

You could have a marriage in your home country for 3,000 euros easily.  Have a ceremony at Zags or church and do not register it.   I assume you are making it legal in Belgium.  People from Belgium can fly to your home country easily.

I do think your future husband should get a second job to pay for wedding.  You can PM with his job experience and language skills.  I work in Brussels and may be able to find him that second job.

Also, do not show him photo of dress.  It is bad luck before wedding.

To people thinking Ukraine or Russian weddings are cheaper than USA weddings.  Be careful.  Mine was more expensive in Ukraine and I got married in a very fancy private country club with 200 plus guests in USA.  Need to remember that people in USA give a lot of money as wedding gifts.  Need to consider that in total cost.  One thing I like in Ukraine that many girls now rent their wedding dress and can have that designer Italian dress for a cheaper cost. They realize a dress is worn once and never again. 

[Aloe]

thanks Ooops and everyone for support, i guess we could try and have a "wedding" in a few years, but it won't be real, so i'm not sure, but i feel much better now, i just got depressed yesterday, cuz the dress was so pretty.
kievstar, thanks but i don't want him to work 2 jobs just to get a wedding, what's the point if i'm never gonna see him cuz he's too busy working all the time, i'd rather spend time with him, and it's not very wise to spend all our money on a wedding and then sleep on the floor
Didn't show him the photo. i just told him it looks so pretty pretty pretty..

[Aloe]

Sculpto, you've gotta be kidding about sewing... i know only 2 people who can sew, my mom and my cousin, but they can't make a wedding dress. None of my friends can sew, it isn't something popular.

[Ooooops]

... i don't want him to work 2 jobs just to get a wedding, what's the point if i'm never gonna see him cuz he's too busy working all the time, i'd rather spend time with him...

You are a very wise young lady, Aloe       Gotta choose the important things and you did.      As for "a "wedding" in a few years, but it won't be real" - I think quite opposite.   It will be the real thing if you are together and just as much in love as you are now.   So держи хвост пистолетом and good luck with the legal battles!   

[kievstar]

Remember Belgium's by law only have to work less than 40 hours a week.  He has plenty of time to work a second job before you come to Belgium. 

[Aloe]

thanks Ooops
Kievstar, if i get this visa i applied for today (tourist visa, to avoid income investigation, cuz we are not sure if his income meets the minimum for fiance visa, and there is no law against marrying on tourist visa), then i'm gonna be over there in the end of may.. that's not so far away. But thanks a lot for offer !

[Ooooops]

Remember Belgium's by law only have to work less than 40 hours a week.  He has plenty of time to work a second job before you come to Belgium. 

Are you seriously suggesting to get a second job so at the end it's possible to spend that hard earned money on entertainment of 200++ people you hardly know and probably not gonna see ever (or rarely) again? 

[Aloe]

i don't want 200 people, i just want close friends and family and a wedding dress  but we can't afford even that, that's why Kievstar was suggesting a 2nd job, i think

[Ooooops]

Aloe, may I ask how old are you two, just to put things in perspective? 

[Aloe]

21 and 26, he just finished studying.

[Ooooops]

21 and 26, he just finished studying.

Kids...   

Anyway, I think you'll be alright, and lots the beautiful dresses will be in your life as well, just a bit later.   As for now - do a registry at Belgium ЗАГС (have no idea what they called there), put some spring flowers in your hair and you still be the prettiest bride in the world in your husband's eyes.   

[JR]

Sculpto, you've gotta be kidding about sewing... i know only 2 people who can sew, my mom and my cousin, but they can't make a wedding dress. None of my friends can sew, it isn't something popular.

Sculpto never kids...

[Daveman]

Sculpto never kids...

he reeks what he sews

[SANDRO43]

he reeks what he sews

Yesterday they were showing a report on our TV about the recent revival of our hemp cultivations, which had been banned for the last 30 years or so - I don't remember the reason for that, but I do remember the awful stink from the ponds in our coluntryside where it was laid to 'mature' before being shredded and spun .