How fat is too fat?

[Taz]

Thanks Lily! That is so funny. My question is where did they find all the obese RW? Did they import them from America??? 

[Taz]

I was at a Russian comedy show this weekend. Apparently they really like to make jokes about President Obama. Considering the US comedians really don't it was sort of interesting to see their take on it. I was one of the very few non-native Russian speakers there. I couldn't help but notice the differences between RW in the US and the RW in the FSU.

I'd say there were close to 100 people there or possibly more. About 60% of those in attendance were women. When it came time for the disco after the comedy show it was probably closer to 70% women on the dance floor. If you factor out the actual comedians who stuck around to dance/flirt with the women it was obvious a fair number of women came without a partner but mostly older ones. One of the most obvious differences between RW "here" and "there" was their obvious increase in bulk. Obviously almost all the RW present had been fairly well fed since coming to the US. Of course some better than others. I'd say only about 4-5 were at, or very close to, their original size in the FSU. They were definitely among the younger women there except for one woman close to 40. According to my "little brother" she had the best legs of the bunch.

If I had to make a guess, I'd say the average RW was probably about 15-20% (~20-30 lbs) above her original weight in the FSU. One woman looked to be about 90% above her original weight.  While the state I was in has never been known for having skinny women, the RW were doing their best to fit in with the local populace with respect to mass. To give credit where due, the RM were trying hard to keep up with the Elenas in that area too but not quite as successful in general. Since I didn't know any of the woman before moving here, it is purely speculation on my part but I'd be willing to wager I'm pretty close on my guesses based on the number of RW I've met here and there.

I'd say the average weight of all the women would be close to about 155 and the average height about 5'5". My best guess on the average age would be about 33-35. The one incredibly tiny woman I saw balanced out the largest RW I've ever seen in America. This had to be one of the larger groups of Russians I've been around in the US at gathering.

So what does this mean to the man marrying an RW for export out of the FSU? Based on my limited sample of that evening alone, the RW definitely adopted some less healthy habits of either exercising less or eating more, maybe both. I'd also say about 85-90% of them smoked. Almost EVERY RW left the club to go smoke between the end of the comedy show and the commencement of the disco. The difference between the average AW and RW in the mass department definitely shrunk (unlike their waistlines). For example most RW have a clear advantage in not being overweight vs. the AW in my area when they first come here. I'd say after about 5-7 years, the RW still show a slight advantage compared to the local AW but it is not a big one. It is obvious they are not exercising enough compared to before as most of the women didn't dance as vigorously as I've seen the average RW do in a Russian night club and that applies to most of the younger ones as well.

It seemed obvious to me that the sedentary lifestyle many RW adopt once coming here results in a marked change that many men would find less attractive based on the poll results so far. The most concerning thing for me was how many of the women smoked. For the men that are very concerned with the size of your woman in the future and the possible health effect is may have, it seems like you definitely want to encourage proper diet and exercise when your woman arrives if you want to help her maintain her figure. I'd also encourage you to adopt the same healthy lifestyle. Considering many of you are likely to older than your RW, you might be in more need of it in the first place. I am the kind of man that will never expect my woman to do something that I won't do myself. Of course this doesn't apply to things such as sex (male/female) specific things.

In general the women definitely did try and dress up for the occasion. It was nice to see that hadn't totally been erased from their typical FSU behavior. In general though the level of style was lower than their home area but still a cut above the AW of their same age group. That doesn't really apply though to the RW I saw in their lower 20's. Most of them weren't dressed as nice as the AW here that go "clubbing" and were dresses far less attractively than their peers in the FSU. I have no idea why but it was obvious to me.

It goes without saying but I'll say it anyway. These are just my observations. Your mileage may vary. Your RW may vary. Your AW are likely different than the AW where I live. Yada yada yada...

[Ade]

So what does this mean to the man marrying an RW for export out of the FSU?

That he'd better be sure he's marrying for love not lust, which btw, is something I think that a lot if not most guys do in the MOB scene. Just an observation, YMMV.

Oh, and one more observation; if a man can't abide smoking it would be really silly to marry a smoker.

[Ooooops]

SeriouslyJaded, I really like your new avatar!   You two look so happy!   

[Ade]

SeriouslyJaded, I really like your new avatar!   You two look so happy!   

Thank you. And yes, we are extremely happy!

And for Taz and the guys that think like him; she could put on 20kg or more (she's usually about 52) and I would think she's just as awesome and desirable as I do now. If you can find a woman you feel like that with, then you've found true love at last.

[Daveman]

Wow!   That's a major transformation - from man eating insect to an olive branch carrier...    

Transformer - more than meets the eye... Transformer - Idiot in disguise...

At least I don't photoshop my pics like SOME people do.  

I agree.  But, you may as well be speaking Urdu.  Some posters here will never get it.

 

Boethius, I think most of us posting in the thread get/got the message just fine.  Definitely agree with SJ on that one also. But that's really not the point...

The initial question or poll deals specifically with the physical aspect of attraction only.  There wasn't an option for leaving, dumping, being ill upon the sight of her/him, etc.  It did not address the ramifications nor all the possibilities. It merely asked " at what point would you be LESS physically attracted to your partner.  There are many ways to become less attractive... putting on weight, becoming too skinny, losing hair, falling into a vat of acid, the simple process of aging.  Fortunately, for most normal people, love transcends the physical into the realm of souls, inner minds, hearts, however one wishes to consider it.

This is why it was a little surprising when the topic/poll struck so many nerves and went off into tangential vectors.  Both men AND women here have indicated more than a billion times that attraction is important...  Women here have spoken many times about the "fat losers" who travel to the FSU.  Of course love changes the variables of the relationship. Only someone completely stupid or incredibly shallow would say otherwise.  

I still assert that there indeed would come a point with weight gain, where anyone who is not blind or dead would become less physically attracted, even to someone they love very much... if you don't believe that, then just imagine your partner at 700lbs, being lifted from the bed by a crane after the side of the house was removed.... yeah, doesn't change the love, the devotion, the commitment, the desire to find and mitigate the underlying problem, whatever but  I can't imagine anyone gazing upon those rolls of blubber and really thinking "just as physically attractive as the day we met".  
 

[Ooooops]

At least I don't photoshop my pics like SOME people do.   
 
 

 

[Boethius]

I agree, SJ, you look very nice together.  Great photo!

[Ade]

 Definitely agree with SJ on that one also. But that's really not the point...

But it is or at least it's very much related and far more relevant to real life situations and expectations. They say love is blind for a very good reason and for those really in love, sexual attraction is not just about the physical. The poll, as it's put, is not and can not be representative of those that are in love. IMO anyway.
 

I still assert that there indeed would come a point with weight gain, where anyone who is not blind or dead would become less physically attracted, even to someone they love very much... if you don't believe that, then just imagine your partner at 700lbs, being lifted from the bed by a crane after the side of the house was removed.... yeah, doesn't change the love, the devotion, the commitment, the desire to find and mitigate the underlying problem, whatever but  I can't imagine anyone gazing upon those rolls of blubber and really thinking "just as physically attractive as the day we met".  

You are talking about extremes that are rare and unlikely but yes, you're right, unless a man were a fat worshipper (and they exist) it's probably true that he wouldn't find his 700lb wife physically attractive even if he loved her more than life.

But you are talking theoretical extremes not real world situations where a woman may gain, say, 50% of her body weight over 5, 10 or 20 years.

To be honest, I think the question was a dumb one to begin with as it has little bearing on real loving realtionships and I believe it is only there to make Taz feel better about himself.

[Ooooops]

I love the soul that inhabits a particular body, not a body that happens to house a soul.

 

[Ade]

I agree, SJ, you look very nice together.  Great photo!

Thank you!

[Sculpto]

yeah I agree.. this photo makes you look a lot less jaded!    you may need to change your nick too..

[Ade]

yeah I agree.. this photo makes you look a lot less jaded!    you may need to change your nick too..

I haven't been jaded in a very long time - it was a nick I started using after my first marriage went tits up and it took me a good 5 or 6 years to come to terms with the baggage I was carrying. I use it now more out of habit than anything.

Another, and I guess this doesn't come across in most of my posts but probably shows more in that picture, is that I smile and laugh a lot and I'm a pretty upbeat and optimistic guy.

[Ooooops]

I smile and laugh a lot and I'm a pretty upbeat and optimistic guy.

If you'd wear round glasses you'd look very much like John Lennon.   

[Sculpto]

I'm a pretty upbeat and optimistic guy.

I knew it!  At last we see the real you. 

[Ade]

If you'd wear round glasses you'd look very much like John Lennon.   

Um, yes, that's not the first time I've heard that.

[Daveman]

I agree, SJ, you look very nice together.  Great photo!

Sorry, but I disagree.  Further, I wasn't referring to "most everyone" posting.  A couple of the original questions -

Have you ever left a partner because you no longer found them physically attractive?
Would it increase your odds of having an affair if you no longer found your partner physically attractive?

The trajectory of certain points of this thread also appear, at least to me, to disprove your assertion.

...

With what exactly are you disagreeing?  you appear, from what you just wrote, to be agreeing.  You indicate the things which are less physically attractive about your partner, finishing with "....because he is no longer the wrinkle free stud I married?"  and then state you love him more because of your experience..  

So, whar's da problem?  

Hopefully, this is how it works for most people.. as one side goes down a little, the other side increases in an undefinable/individual perhaps to some even exponential manner which causes overall attraction to be stronger. No one has denied this (or I missed it.. which is possible).

The poll did not ask "at what point would you stop loving" or "at what point would you dump her/him". Though it could be implied/inserted by the reader, the initial wording doesn't contain this aspect.  

The trajectory of certain points cannot possibly disprove (or prove) any assertion as they are purely speculative and none of the posters have actually been in that specific situation.  Hopefully they never will but if there were a way to actually measure the *truth thoughts* under such conditions, the physical attraction would be less. "Is your partner as physically attractive as he/she once was?".. "No, but.."  debate over at that point.  If the physical attraction is less at the point of the extreme, then there came a "point at which you are physically less attracted to your partner"... somewhere on the blobular line...

[Boethius]

Um, yes, that's not the first time I've heard that.

I think you look more like John Oliver.




Dave, the point is that everyone changes with time.  

Reread my last sentence.  

[Ade]

The trajectory of certain points cannot possibly disprove (or prove) any assertion as they are purely speculative and none of the posters have actually been in that specific situation.  Hopefully they never will but if there were a way to actually measure the *truth thoughts* under such conditions, the physical attraction would be less. "Is your partner as physically attractive as he/she once was?".. "No, but.."  debate over at that point.  If the physical attraction is less at the point of the extreme, then there came a "point at which you are physically less attracted to your partner"... somewhere on the blobular line...

Actually my ex-wife's weight changed dramatically over the 10 years we were together and it never affected the physical attraction I felt, if anything, sex got better as the years went by.

[Boethius]

deleted

[Ade]

I think you look more like John Oliver.

I don't see the resemblance.

[JR]

I really do think there is a point when obesity isn't very attractive...

[JR]

But does have a girlfriend...

[OlgaH]

But does have a girlfriend...

and "he is now aiming for a new title of world's greatest weight loser".   

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3266603/Worlds-fattest-man-weds.html

[Daveman]

But does have a girlfriend...

And at SOME point she'll find him less physically attractive! Then she'll chronicle her adventure with the new best seller My Life and Times With the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man

When there's something huge, crackin' through the floor
Who ya gonna call?
Gross Busters!


I just can't, even in my most psychotic dreams, imagine myself in a situation with a partner that big.  Plump and cuddly is cool by me..   but that's nearing that Crane Stage I mentioned earlier.  I really just can't imagine... I'll wear the shallow label proudly from this point forward.