How fat is too fat?

[Boethius]

deleted

[Sculpto]

I will say I looked for someone with a healthy body type and not overtly prone to weight gain not because of any particular attraction issues but because I was and am well aware of my own very slow metabolism and love for food and felt if I was with someone overweight I would be likely to get fatter.  I chose someone healthy who demanded I get healthy.. thats what I wanted and how its worked out so far.

[Sculpto]

I don't agree that AW don't want AM.  I think though, that a lot of AM suffer from Peter Pan syndrome. 

Actually, this is not the issue Boethius.  I cant speak for everyone, but, a lot of people I grew up with were in broken homes or had really unstructured childhoods.  The net result is PEOPLE do not know how to relate to each other.  Too many people only look at relationships in terms of "what does it do for me".  Add in the emasculation that SOME women force on men, and then contradict with exactly what Taz said, "men aren't men anymore" and you have a standoff.

When I first started dating FSUW and read that the ladies expected men to be Gentleman.. opening doors and all the other acts of chivalry.. I had to dig really deep to even remember what I used to do way back in the dinosaur era of highschool, end even then I still felt like I didn't know what the hell I was doing without appearing clumsy. 

[OlgaH]

Healthy Weight Calculator

http://www.myoptumhealth.com/portal/ManageMyHealth/Healthy+Weight+Calculator

[Shadow]

Healthy Weight Calculator

http://www.myoptumhealth.com/portal/ManageMyHealth/Healthy+Weight+Calculator

I am overweight. Finally after 40 years of not doing any strong physical excersize I have managed it.
*** runs to the fridge to celebrate***

[Ravens9273]

Me and my wife just returned from 10 days in Punta Cana. While we were there we saw an American Couple I would say were late 40's early 50's.
They truly looked like an odd couple. The Man was in great shape. Slender with athletic body. The wife was well over 300 lbs.
They had a son with them aprox 10 years old. They looked extremely happy together.
Now I will admit she drew alot of attention when she decided to go topless on the beach.

I personally go back and forth with weight. I never had a weight problem my entire life. I am active and devoted weight lifter and work hard to build my body. Because of this I go through stages. There is no such thing as building muscle mass while burning fat at the same time. To build muscle you need to take in an extra surplus of calories daily. As we know to burn fat you have to take in less calories.

As any body builder I build my body in stages. I hit a period of high calorie intake to build muscle mass. While doing so the fat will come as well. No way to avoid it. I them go to a period of less calories to burn off the fat and try not to lose to much muscle mass.
I just went through a mass building stage. I did develope fat from this. Right now I am on a fat burning stage so that the muscles show more.
No matter what I do. What stage I am going through my wife always loves me just the same but she does love the muscles.
I am 6'2"
Currently 238 (after mass building stage)
I started my fat burning stage on our vacation and lost 8 lbs.
My target weight is 225lbs with 6% body fat.

My wife is 5'6" and weights 105 lbs. She is also very active in taking care of herself.

One thing I know is no matter what happens to each of our bodies it will not change the way we feel about each other. She has already seen me in different sizes and I know she never stopped loving me or desiring me no matter what. I also love who my wife is on the inside. This is what I am most attracted too and reason I married her.

[Blues Fairy]

Taz, it's just too difficult to consider the correlation of sexual attraction and weight only, while factoring out all the other things.  We are not robots and cannot calculate and quantify exactly what changes in the partner's interface trigger our reactions.  I can say for myself that I have low tolerance for extra weight due to gluttony and lack of exercise, both in myself and in others; but if my husband started gaining weight uncontrollably, the level of my attraction to him would be the least of my concerns.   

[Makkin]

  Seems if you have a genuine "love" and "connection" with your wife then you will do whatever it takes to help her solve this problem if it's actually a problem?


Makkin

[Mars]

Seems strange that many posters here won't just simply stick to the specific topic or question that has been asked. 

If it is desired to go in a different direction, why not start a new thread for that? 

And I am not sure that any church has the authority to bestow sainthood on the number of people here who are lobbying for it through their words.

[Faux Pas]

Seems strange that many posters here won't just simply stick to the specific topic or question that has been asked. 

If it is desired to go in a different direction, why not start a new thread for that? 

And I am not sure that any church has the authority to bestow sainthood on the number of people here who are lobbying for it through their words.

If you've got something to say, say it.

The topic is all too rigid. One can't answer the poll with any degree of truthfulness unless they have been in love with a woman who has gained weight and then they were no longer attracted to them. And then at that point define how many pounds it is. For those of us who haven't experienced this scenario, all we have left to do is discuss it a perched the high ground. 

[Boethius]

Healthy Weight Calculator

http://www.myoptumhealth.com/portal/ManageMyHealth/Healthy+Weight+Calculator

According to the calculator, this guy is 35 kilos overweight (and that is at the high end of the chart!)  He has less than 5% body fat.



I think the best measure of whether or not someone is overweight is by looking at them .

[Boethius]

deleted

[OlgaH]

According to the calculator, this guy is 35 kilos overweight (and that is at the high end of the chart!)  He has less than 5% body fat.



I think the best measure of whether or not someone is overweight is by looking at them .

Boethius, I don't know who is that guy. Are you sure he has a healthy weight and doesn't use asteroids   But I agree with you about looking at person and also the best measure is how a person feels about himself

[Sculpto]

Point taken, Sculpto.  However, there are a lot of people today who don't want to take the responsibility of being adults (I mean emotionally).

I absolutely agree.. there is a sense of entitlement that many Americans have that is really out of whack with the reality of the world, an over confidence that is disconnected to their real skill and an arrogance of superiority over all other people of all other nations... frankly if some of those people were ever confronted with any real situations they would be in big trouble.

So, ok, I spent the weekend in another country and got a big dose of sweet reality, I loved it.  Makes me appreciate what little I have.

There was one very interesting comment made by my friends in Tijuana.. "we are better off during this crisis, we are more prepared for it because we have been through it before and it really does not affect much here".  Kind of ironic huh?

BTW.. lots of overweight people in TJ... one typically doesn't see that further south in Mexico, but, even so, not nearly as many as is common in the US.

[Boethius]

Boethius, I don't know who is that guy. Are you sure he has a healthy weight and doesn't use asteroids   But I agree with you about looking at person and also the best measure is how a person feels about himself

He plays in the NHL.  No, he is not on steroids. 

About half of all hockey players are obese by measure standards of weight or BMI.  Some NHL players take steroids, but the majority don't.

Standardized charts don't take into account different body types, muscle, etc. 

[Boethius]

deleted 

[MatryoshkaMan]

I literally starve myself - well deprive myself (I can eat like no tommorrow if I don't show self restraint) and I get regular excersize JUST so I can stay in good shape. I would have a hard time being attracted to someone who did not keep her body in good shape. I guess I am shallow. Maybe I was spolied. My ex kept her weight within 5-10 pounds of the wedding day over our 8 year marriage.

[brucen36]

I will say I looked for someone with a healthy body type and not overtly prone to weight gain not because of any particular attraction issues but because I was and am well aware of my own very slow metabolism and love for food and felt if I was with someone overweight I would be likely to get fatter.  I chose someone healthy who demanded I get healthy.. thats what I wanted and how its worked out so far.

Hehehe, that's the biggest crock I ever heard.  But it's a good one!  I'll have to use it. :

[Sculpto]

entitled to your opinion Bruce.. but I went through it already.. had an AW GF that was prone to weight gain and we gained together.. it got out of control.. after that ended it became a top of the list priority

[OlgaH]

About half of all hockey players are obese by measure standards of weight or BMI. 

Do they weigh the hockey players in their accoutrements?    Just kidding.  I think it will be very difficult for a guy with light weight to play when they push each other and press against a fence.  In some sports you will not "survive" without extra weight.

Standardized charts don't take into account different body types, muscle, etc. 

Yes, I agree.

[Gator]

Can not vote because this is not a "black and white" issue.  There is so much else to consider, so much.

[Vaughn]

Can not vote because this is not a "black and white" issue.  There is so much else to consider, so much.

I have to agree with Gator - at first glance I thought the topic rather silly - as there will be no right
nor wrong answers, only opinions borne of various reasons. I shudder when I read about men who have
such stringent "requirements" so as to include perpetual "curvaceousness" - there's so much more to
beauty than meets the masculine eye.

I suspect if my wife puts on 20 - 40 lbs over the next few years, it won't make much of a difference at all in
my feelings for her.

[Sculpto]

Interesting.  I have acquaintances that just won't go to TJ, or cross the border at all, because of the gangs. 

lol.. in most parts you dont even see the bad guys.. and Playas where the concert was is really pretty nice

[Daveman]

I absolutely agree.. there is a sense of entitlement that many Americans have that is really out of whack with the reality of the world, an over confidence that is disconnected to their real skill and an arrogance of superiority over all other people of all other nations... frankly if some of those people were ever confronted with any real situations they would be in big trouble.

Sculpto, that's such a crock... some of us have an equal opportunity superiority complex.  Americans are well beneath my majestic sphere as well!   

Seriously though, as mentioned previously, the question referenced physical attraction only.  I can only really separate out the physical aspect if I consider first impressions, first meetings, etc.  After real emotions develop pretty much all bets are off as I am sure there would be some point on the balloon scale where I would cease to have a physical attraction over time and continued swelling, but perhaps other areas would assist in keeping attraction alive.  I honestly don't have a clue.  I can't imagine myself with someone enormous -- I'd be be too terrified she'd thwack me with her breasts and then my head would be caught in the middle like one of those kinetic energy machines.. similar to those balls on a string.. THWACK thwack thwack thwack THWACK thwack thwack thwack, etc, and so forth, until an outside force acted upon one of the thwackers.  Hmmm, I guess it could be interesting having one's ears boxed in such a manner.. maybe a bit earritating.. or an earrie feeling... or who knows? could even be quite earotic...  empearical evidence currently unavailable.

[Sculpto]

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hahaha!