How fat is too fat?

[Boethius]

Interesting.  It could be because he was young.  But, I know this was unknown in much of Ukraine.  Even now, at my husban's "advanced" age  :evil: he doesn't get aches and pains.  Perhaps it is the nice cold, dry Canadian air.

[OlgaH]

 Even now, at my husban's "advanced" age  :evil: he doesn't get aches and pains.  Perhaps it is the nice cold, dry Canadian air.

Good for him and God grand him never to experience a treatment by bees (another folk medicine in Russia)    

[Boethius]

Ah, that one is familiar to Ukrainians.

Are you familiar with wax pourings to cure ailments?

[OlgaH]

Ah, that one is familiar to Ukrainians.

Are you familiar with wax pourings to cure ailments?

Yes, but have never tried to pour wax. Time to time I use ointments and creams with wax and also bee pollen.

[Boethius]

In Ukraine, there were (and are) traditional folk healers, always women, who meet with a patient, say a blessing, and pour wax into water to determine ailments.  This tradition was also strong among Ukrainian immigrants in Western Canada (Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba).

http://www.indiana.edu/~medanth/ISS%20Newsletter%20April%202004.pdf#page=4

http://www.utoronto.ca/cius/publications/books/wordandwax.htm

It seems "out there", but I knew many people who swore this worked. 

[OlgaH]

In Ukraine, there were (and are) traditional folk healers, always women, who meet with a patient, say a blessing, and pour wax into water to determine ailments.  This tradition was also strong among Ukrainian immigrants in Western Canada (Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba).
It seems "out there", but I knew many people who swore this worked.  

I remember when I was a girl we poured wax into water to tell fortunes. I was 17 when some girls and I were telling fortunes by wax. We did it on Christmas Eve. When one girl poured wax into water wax was formed into axe. We all were confused and I would say even scared but tried to turn it into a joke "oh, your husband will be a lumberjack". In summer the girl got into a car accident. She was 19.  Her head was cut off.

[SANDRO43]

I liked your site, Sandro.  Here is a link to a genealogy website. I couldn't find your mother's surname, but I did find the other surname - perhaps they are related to you.

Thanks for the link Boethius, she might be a relative, but I never heard her mentioned in my family.

Deshayes; Degaj, Sofija Pavlovna * 17.2.1838 † 28.1.1894 Sankt Petersburg

Considering the dates (1838-1894), if anything she could be my great-granduncle paternal aunt, maybe. IINM, there were rather few Deshayes in Russia (vgd.ru only lists 3 from the 1900s). On the contrary, Alexeieff is more common to this day, so it's curious it's not in either list.

[Boethius]

On the contrary, Alexeieff is more common to this day, so it's curious it's not in that list.

Yes, but the link I gave you is for a foreign name - these are foreign names in Russia (Deshayes is probably originally French).

The second site I provided is of Russian names. 


Olga, how horrific.

[Simoni]

...When one girl poured wax into water wax was formed into axe.

...In summer the girl got into a car accident....Her head was cut off.

Horrible, Olga :-( 

Maybe better to not play such games?

[JR]

How fat is too fat?

When I look at them and say "No." That's when it's too fat for me

[JR]

Physical attraction usually plays a role in bringing people together.  But it doesn't keep couples together.  The notion that you would know that at some "point", you would no longer be attracted to your spouse to me, is absurd.  I didn't marry a body.

An aweful lot of professionals would disagree with you on this. Pretty much everyone would agree that sex is an important part of a healthy marriage. And the loss of attraction due to weight gain is a valid reason why the sex may fall to the wayside. No you didn't marry a body but a body came as part of the package and when part of the package deteriorates it effects the rest of the package and how you'll relate to it. That goes for others aspects of marriage too.

[Daveman]

Thanks for the link Boethius, she might be a relative, but I never heard her mentioned in my family.

Deshayes; Degaj, Sofija Pavlovna * 17.2.1838 † 28.1.1894 Sankt Petersburg

Considering the dates (1838-1894), if anything she could be my great-granduncle paternal aunt, maybe. IINM, there were rather few Deshayes in Russia (vgd.ru only lists 3 from the 1900s). On the contrary, Alexeieff is more common to this day, so it's curious it's not in either list.

I had a 2nd cousin once removed... and boy was I mad 'til they brung 'er back.  Ahhhh gotta love the south, where family trees lack an abundance of limbs, reunions are fair game, and the farm animals still sleep with one eye open ...

[Taz]

I had an interesting conversation with a RW today. It appears that she has concerns about starting to become "larger". She said she didn't want to start to look like the AW she works with. She said that if she does, she might not be as attractive to men then.

She is not currently in a relationship and is in her mid 30's and very attractive but plumper than she would have been in her native country. I thought she looked hot. She had that corporate heat look. I asked what about her last relationship, was she concerned about her weight in it. She said it was an issue to her man. Apparently he left her. Not for a younger woman, but a skinnier one. Just out of curiousness, what nationality was he. She said he was Russian. I left shaking my head thinking where in heck did he find a skinnier AW than this RW where I live... By RW standards she was plump, by AW standards she was a goddess.

I just couldn't get this out of my mind. So I tactfully approached her later. I commented on her nice outfit. She asked me point blank if it made her look fat. OMG, what a loaded question. I of course said no, it didn't. She replied her ex said she looked fat in it. I figured why not wade into the fire. I asked where in our area did he find a skinnier woman than her. She replied that he want back to the FSU and was dating a woman from there now. My jaw about dropped. A RM, returning to date a RW since the RW here was too "big". It was really tearing her up. Most AM would have been incredibly interested in her but here was a RM even more shallow than most AM... She said it was fairly common for a RM to look for a younger woman but she thought they also wanted women that not only were younger but more attractive. The implication was skinnier since most women tend to fill out a bit when they hit their 30's.

I have no idea how serious she was with her ex but they dated for a few years from what I could tell. Maybe she was more serious than he was. Maybe all he wanted was her body... She definitely had far more to offer than that. What's not to like about a well educated, attractive RW making over 100k a year??? Sounds like my ideal backup plan...  If I had such a thing.

[JR]

And where is this woman? Come on, come on give up the details

[SANDRO43]

(Deshayes is probably originally French).

Yes, it is, maybe Huguenot, a lot of whom fled from France after the Edict of Fontainebleau:

In 1685, Louis XIV revoked the Edict of Nantes and declared Protestantism to be illegal in the Edict of Fontainebleau. After this, Huguenots (with estimates ranging from 200,000 to 1,000,000) fled to surrounding Protestant countries: England, the Netherlands, Switzerland, Norway, Denmark and Prussia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huguenot

Eventually, some made their way to Russia.

[Taz]

And where is this woman? Come on, come on give up the details

For a small finder's fee... 

Considering the cost of doing business here is greater than Kyiv, and they charge $50+ in Kyiv for meeting, I'll cut you a deal Jolly, $75. On a purely ROI basis she is worth much more than that.

Then again if I made the introduction, I'd lose my backup plan. That is priceless to me. 

[JR]

For a small finder's fee... 

Considering the cost of doing business here is greater than Kyiv, and they charge $50+ in Kyiv for meeting, I'll cut you a deal Jolly, $75. On a purely ROI basis she is worth much more than that.

Then again if I made the introduction, I'd lose my backup plan. That is priceless to me. 

$75 bucks it is and no backing out at this point or I'll take them both away from you

[Andreas]

Just goes to show how perceptive you really aren't. Norwegians are renowned for their unassuming, modest and quiet outlook on life which you've obviously interpreted as aloofness and condescension; as a people I've yet to meet a group as a whole that are nicer and I've met people from most of the world. You may want to read up on Janteloven and reassess your judgement of those Norwegians.

You do know that "janteloven" is known as a bad thing, right?

And there's the "socialist thing" again; it crops up so much on these boards. I swear that the red's under the bed mentality is still alive and kicking somewhere.

Its beacuse some of us learned a thing or two from good 'ol Joseph McCarthy.

[Andreas]

Of these I like the Danes the best. Definitely more friendly and helpful than the other groups I met.

I agree with you on that one. Danes are awsome and very friendly and easy going people. I might be biased as I have some Danish relatives, though.

One thing I remember very well was the cost of everything. I'll attribute that to socialism as that seems to be the one of the most common effects of socialism. They tax the heck out of everything.

YES, THEY DO!!
If someone had calculated how much of an average person's salary goes into taxes here in Norway (not just income taxes, but "avgifter" = taxes on products and services) I think people would damn near riot!

I do have a major problem with socialism as it punishes those who are successful.

Socialism/Marxism is built upon the absurd idea that everyone is equal, therefore nobody is more worthy of a high living standard than others. The truth is that the world is full of stupid and lazy people that are not entitled to the same size car, house or plasma screen TV as those of us who have worked our way through university and gotten a good job.

I'm not saying that people should be starving or that the class differences should be too big, but I think its OK for people who haven't finished high school to ride the bus while lawyers and doctors drive brand new BMWs and live in big houses.

All in all, I think that there are certainly flaws within the USA as well (of course), but the economical system seems much more fair than the one in Norway. The one thing that I find very unfair, though, is the way that intelligent people can be left out of a good education because they can't afford to go to an expensive university. Education should be free for all; but the Americans have the basic idea in order - you are resonsible for your own economical situasion so stop whining and demanding a hand out! *now where the hell is that Uncle Sam smiley*

[Ade]

I agree with you on that one. Danes are awsome and very friendly and easy going people. I might be biased as I have some Danish relatives, though.

YES, THEY DO!!
If someone had calculated how much of an average person's salary goes into taxes here in Norway (not just income taxes, but "avgifter" = taxes on products and services) I think people would damn near riot!

Socialism/Marxism is built upon the absurd idea that everyone is equal, therefore nobody is more worthy of a high living standard than others. The truth is that the world is full of stupid and lazy people that are not entitled to the same size car, house or plasma screen TV as those of us who have worked our way through university and gotten a good job.

I'm not saying that people should be starving or that the class differences should be too big, but I think its OK for people who haven't finished high school to ride the bus while lawyers and doctors drive brand new BMWs and live in big houses.

All in all, I think that there are certainly flaws within the USA as well (of course), but the economical system seems much more fair than the one in Norway. The one thing that I find very unfair, though, is the way that intelligent people can be left out of a good education because they can't afford to go to an expensive university. Education should be free for all; but the Americans have the basic idea in order - you are resonsible for your own economical situasion so stop whining and demanding a hand out! *now where the hell is that Uncle Sam smiley*

Andreas, you should spend a few years living and working in the US and then maybe your view on Norway will be a little different. Sometimes  taxes make a big difference on quality of life as they surely do in Norway.

[Andreas]

Andreas, you should spend a few years living and working in the US and then maybe your view on Norway will be a little different. Sometimes  taxes make a big difference on quality of life as they surely do in Norway.

Well, I've never lived in the USA, just been there on vacation.  Still I like the general idea, the ideology, behind the American economical system. I just hate the idea of working hard to increase the living standard of some uneducated, lazy slob, that's all.

I think the middle class is better off in the USA, but the working class and the downright lazy people are probably better off in Scandinavia. The middle class in the USA is shrinking, though, so the future looks brighter here in Norway than in the USA.

[Daveman]

Well, if the poll is a true reflection, though albeit an extremely small sampling, it's currently running at nearly a 10-1 ratio, indicating that for 90% of respondents, weight does make a difference in intimacy at some point.

It would be interesting to see the breakdown between men and women as the numbers appear to be almost a perfect split along gender lines with with the ratio of current active posters.

This has certainly been a very interesting thread.

Edit:
Oooops (the mistake, not the lady), my math skills have deteriorated, or disintegrated... 49-10 is approx a 5-1 ratio, not 10.. duh... so 80%

[groovlstk]

I'm surprised none of the old timers mentioned this, but a married member years ago claimed to have put a clause in his wife's prenup about potential sanctions should her weight exceed a certain level.

I don't know if it's true or not as he may have been yanking people's chains (I certainly hope so).

[Misha]

Well, if the poll is a true reflection, though albeit an extremely small sampling, it's currently running at nearly a 10-1 ratio, indicating that for 90% of respondents, weight does make a difference in intimacy at some point.

Why? The question reads: "At what point would you start becoming less physically attracted to your mate/partner if she/he were to gain weight?"

It all depends how you define "less" and it does not mean that you won't find them attractive at all or that you will stop being intimate with them, just that you might find them "less" (i.e. going from drooling on the floor attracted to your partner to being simply extremely attracted to them).

[Daveman]

Why? The question reads: "At what point would you start becoming less physically attracted to your mate/partner if she/he were to gain weight?"

It all depends how you define "less" and it does not mean that you won't find them attractive at all or that you will stop being intimate with them, just that you might find them "less" (i.e. going from drooling on the floor attracted to your partner to being simply extremely attracted to them).

Correct... I was combining the "less attractive" from the original question with the final poll question which mentions "intimate".

To me this suggests "attitude" about intimacy, though by no means necessarily a full correlation nor indicative of an intimate cessation.  But, interpretation will vary considerably.

Another variable in the equation is that the poll should probably be weighted in that one of the most noted reasons for specifically searching in FSU is "slim".  So, there could be considerable deviation with this subgroup as opposed to the male population in general.