So why do we continue to come here and hangout?

[GregfromGa]

For me, I like to think that I might be helping someone who is starting this endeavor.
I've been around the boards since 2001. I remember I had some friends and some guys that showed me the ropes so to speak. Not only did they save me money but probably my insanity as well. We've got people here that have had success and we've got some guys here that have been gutted pretty hard. I think it's a testament to the job Dan does as moderator here that these guys and gals keep coming back. Most guys find their lady and you never hear from them again.

It's always difficult to tell a grown man that something just isnt right with his situation. Most guys go at this with blinders on. Most guys just want to be happy and successful at finding their soulmates that they overlook the obvious at times. Should we take it upon ourselves to point out these red flags so to speak? Should we just let them crash and burn and then say "man I'm so sorry this happened". I mean it is our opinion and not science right?  For instance the two young ladies and a couple of posters that disagreed with me about meeting the parents. Again I think it is absolutely crucial to meet the parents if you're serious with a girl. What is serious? Well 1 trip doesnt constitute serious. When the nipple first makes an appearance doesnt constitute serious. Just saying "I love you" doesnt constitute serious. I guess when you can absolutely look at another woman and say she does nothing for me, then you are on the way to being serious. Now thats you, she may be a different story.LOL

There is 5 or 6 guys and a couple of ladies on here that newbies can actually trust with their opinions. You may not agree with them but they've earned that opinion and I would say it would be in your best interest to listen to them. I think most of you know who they are right?

I'm certainly not one of those guys. I got extremely lucky and didnt have to put in a lot of effort. I must say that those first 2 trios were pretty awesome though.

[SANDRO43]

When the nipple first makes an appearance doesnt constitute serious.

Was that a typo, or a warning about strippers ?

[GregfromGa]

Was that a typo, or a warning about strippers ?

It's from a "Seinfeld" episode. I just think it might apply. Believe it or not, but I did meet a really nice stripper once. From Tallinn. I took her babushka some flowers in the hospital as well. Nice girl, Russian, beautiful face. The way we met was kinda an accident. I went with some friends and they put in to buy me a private dance with her because I said she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen at that time.  So we got in the room and I told her to just keep her clothes on that I didnt need the dance. Her English was pretty good. I kept thinking that if this girl was in the states, she could easily marry any man she wanted. I felt sorry for her.  She wasnt on crack or black tar heroin. She danced for the money.

We went out 3 times while I was in Tallinn. I didnt lead her on. I couldve never brought her to Douglas knowing my friends knew she was a stripper. Her name was Olga. I also met her parents. I hope she is doing well wherever she is. Sweet girl. She was very shy about ordering food when we went out. She ever asked me for a penny. Did I mention that she was one of the most beautiful women I ever saw anywhere?

[SANDRO43]

I said she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen at that time.
Did I mention that she was one of the most beautiful women I ever saw anywhere?

Twice .

[Daveman]

We went out 3 times while I was in Tallinn. I didnt lead her on. I couldve never brought her to Douglas knowing my friends knew she was a stripper...

Douglas?  as in County? or Ville? if so, you are pretty much a next door neighbor...

Secondly, why could you not bring her?  I mean, if she turned out to be a match for me in brain/mind, soul, humor, etc., I really wouldn't care that she was a stripper or what my friends thought about it (I dated a stripper for a couple of years whom I met in a different environment.. what broke us up was not her prior occupation but rather she drank a little too much and I really got tired of it... and perhaps in her defense, I'm such a bad character and/or horrible comedian that I drive women to drink as a means to cope! heh).  Now if she hooked on the side, I'd have no interest (which begs the valid question, how would I know? getting to know her character over time) , but just being a dancer doesn't put me off but rather sends my bizarre world of fantasy into overdrive!  :evil: :evil:  

Back to the original topic.. I like to hang here to read various opinions, to assist in thwarting goofball idiotic information, to enjoy the camaraderie of those in a similar pursuit, and in my own case -- there's always room to learn something new.

 

[Simoni]

Should we take it upon ourselves to point out these red flags so to speak? Should we just let them crash and burn and then say "man I'm so sorry this happened". I mean it is our opinion and not science right?  For instance the two young ladies and a couple of posters that disagreed with me about meeting the parents. Again I think it is absolutely crucial to meet the parents if you're serious with a girl.

Actually, it was more than a couple of posters who questioned your rule  of "cut them loose if you don't meet the parents" by the second meeting. SO it was never about if you meet the parents, but how soon.  We all think meeting parents is important.

Those posters you referenced above include two long term posters (BC and myself) who met parents the third meeting, so your criteria would mean we would not be happily married to our current wives now.

Anyway, that is water under the bridge, but since you brought it up again, I had to respond.

But it does fit this topic in that while there are certain red flags and green flags, it is NOT a black and white world of rules.  Conversation is needed to clarify things with newbies.  For example, your strand "If she doesn't let you meet her parents by the second meeting, CUT HER LOOSE" cannot be applied outright.  In my example, which I cited in that strand, we were in another country for the second meeting and of course could not meet the parents.

So, I'm here to help newbies as I was once helped.  Any sometimes that involves clarifying statements posters make.

[GregfromGa]

Simoni, this thread has really turned into a pissing contest with you. Thanks for trying to clarify my statements but there is no room for wavering on this #1 rule of international dating. This rule precedes all other rules and tablets of stone bull*snip*. There is absolutely no exceptions. Now if I wouldve said that then I could maybe have understood your hard line disagreement. I'm happy that you were able to meet the parents on the 3rd date. Thats probably the only time that has ever happened and will most assuredly WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. Maybe you missed the part I said about exact science. I didnt call you out on it I was just making a point about different opinions but since it's on your mind and it bothers you so then maybe we can arm wrestle or have a 5K race to settle the winner?

Boy's if you've already been to see Olga, Luda or Sveta and you've been writing and texting and talking and emailing and texting some more and talking about love stuff and you visit her for the 2nd time, there needs to be a very very good reason other than it worked for Simoni on the boards so I do not need to at least be alarmed.

Simoni, I guess we can always arm wrestle or have a foot race to see who is right.

[Simoni]

I'm happy that you were able to meet the parents on the 3rd date. Thats probably the only time that has ever happened and will most assuredly WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

Only me, you say?  Did you miss what BC wrote?  Here it is, again...

I met my future MIL the third time we met.

Also Blues Fairy....

My husband met my Mom on our 5th meeting (in Sweden)...

So, here are three examples of successful marriages where meeting the parents came AFTER the second visit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boy's if you've already been to see Olga, Luda or Sveta and you've been writing and texting and talking and emailing and texting some more and talking about love stuff and you visit her for the 2nd time, there needs to be a very very good reason other than it worked for Simoni on the boards so I do not need to at least be alarmed.

On the first point, we are in agreement.  In fact, I wrote in your other thread...

... for you readers in the search, RWD 101 does state that it is of utmost importance to meet the family, and before you invest too much time.   It's a basic strategy needed to void professional daters.

But as you can see in the three example I provided here, the two visit rule of Greg's does not always apply.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simoni, I guess we can always arm wrestle or have a foot race to see who is right.

Hmmm... I played noseguard and linebacker in college, and not corner or safety.  So you probably would beat me in that footrace...   But since I did bulk up for the noseguard days, I'm thinking that I would beat you in arm wrestling.

But a better idea...next time you are down this way, I'll buy you a couple of beers!  After that, hopefully this issue will not matter at all.  Deal?  

[GregfromGa]

Beers sounds good, but I have a high quality taste for beers. No Bud Light domestic stuff for me. I like the Dogfish Head ale micro brew stuff,but really cold Coors light will also suffice. It looks like we'll be in West Palm next weekend. I was hoping to get to Tampa but it may be a month or so. We're going to see some friends in West Palm. pne of them is someone who used to post here. We also went to their wedding several years ago. They also have a child near our childs age. Anyways we'll stay in touch and when we go I'd like to try LaTerasita again. Gator took us there several years ago and I love that place.

[Simoni]

Beers sounds good, but I have a high quality taste for beers. No Bud Light domestic stuff for me. I like the Dogfish Head ale micro brew stuff,but really cold Coors light will also suffice. It looks like we'll be in West Palm next weekend. I was hoping to get to Tampa but it may be a month or so. We're going to see some friends in West Palm. pne of them is someone who used to post here. We also went to their wedding several years ago. They also have a child near our childs age. Anyways we'll stay in touch and when we go I'd like to try LaTerasita again. Gator took us there several years ago and I love that place.

I can swing for the micro brew stuff.  We do have some good local beers here; I 'll give you lots of choices.  Then we'll hit LaTerasita.

Looking forward to seeing you guys, Greg.

[Gator]

Having met both of you, Greg will win the foot race, Simoni the arm wrestle,   and I the beer contest.   

I don't know who will win the pissing contest, and before entering I should get a prescription for Flowmax considering my age.  I should substitute my fraternity brother who could piss over a car.

[KenC]

Greg & Simoni,
Let me make a few points and then you can tell me to kiss your collective asses, OK?

It is my belief that what makes RWD the best forum of it's kind on the Net is the collection of experienced posters that "hang around" and put forth the effort to educated newbies.  This is by far the best resource of information on this subject, any where.

This is not a perfect process and there probably are more variables than constants to be honest.  And yet we continue to try to categorize this process in the establishment of rules like the ten commandments.  Is this a foolish endeavor?  I think not because the newbies need some kind of guidance.  Simplified guidance is best.  Will these "rules" be 100% accurate?  Never.  But what they will do is provide a blueprint for the newbies to follow.  Most of the rules will be right on the money, but there will always be exceptions to every single one of them.

To get into pissing contests amongst us over whether it is 2 or 3 or 5 visits, is foolish in my mind.  Greg made an absolute statement that if the RW doesn't introduce you to her parents after 2 visits, the guy should move on.  IMO, that advice is 90% correct.  Sure he could have said, if the RW resists introducing you to her parents over a reasonable amount of time and circumstances be very wary of her sincerity.  But he didn't.  We should not attack Greg for speaking in absolutes, but applaud his attempt to educate the newbies.  Just because a few of the sharpest members (Simoni, BC and Blues Fairy) used a different time line doesn't does not nullify the advice.  Quite frankly we are here to help the "not so sharp" newbies any way.

"Guidelines" are just that.  They are usually more correct than incorrect.  The newbies need guidelines.  Guidelines are their lifelines to reality.  Many need guidelines desperately.  They also need to have some reality thrown their way more often than not.  Bickering amongst ourselves only confuses the issues.  Newbies are confused enough.    It is more detrimental to their potential success to ignore the guidelines than to follow them to a "T".

What will end up happening is they (newbies) will make one excuse after another why the guidelines do not apply to their situation.  We have seen many a "know it all" fall flat on their face here.  I will not name names, but we are all familiar with the guys that refused any and all rational advice and went on their righteous path to their trainwreck.  We are here to try and prevent as many trainwrecks as possible.  Guidelines are a good thing even if they are not 100% accurate.
KenC

[Simoni]

Good post, Ken.

[GoodOlBoy]

Bickering amongst ourselves only confuses the issues.  Newbies are confused enough. It is more detrimental to their potential success to ignore the guidelines than to follow them to a "T".

Guidelines are a good thing even if they are not 100% accurate.

I agree with you on this on KenC.

Excellent post. 


GOB

[GregfromGa]

KenC, you can kiss my ass. Not because of your opinion on said matter but because I sent you an invite to be my friend on facebook several weeks ago and I've yet to hear anything.LOL I got the friend suggestion from Don in Arizona.
And this another prime example of why when KenC tells you it's raining, you can grab an umbrella.  Good advice once again Ken and thanks for the input.

Now I'd like to pose another question if I may and I'll try to not ruffle too many feathers. How much should a newbie listen to a RW/UW on these boards? I know the lovely ladies can be rather opinionated at times. Because they are married or divorced or having been involved, does their advice garner taking heed to. I mean I dont have to tell you that that they can be rather complex at times. I could give examples but I'm not sure how much bandwidth Dan has available here so I will not start. And like I said there are a few here that I would listen to if I were in a newbies shoes. I know some of my biggest arguments ever on these boards came from RW?UW. Not this board of course because Dan doesnt put up with the bullshiat here.

[GoodOlBoy]

Now I'd like to pose another question if I may and I'll try to not ruffle too many feathers. How much should a newbie listen to a RW/UW on these boards?

I assume we are talking about MALE newbies?

My opinion.......newbies should listen and heed the warnings of the experienced male poster's here on RWD.

And of course, OBEY THE RWD TEN COMMANDMENTS!

The FSU Ladies who post their opinion's here on RWD are far too "advanced" in their thinking for the average newbie to comprehend/understand.

But, I enjoy reading their posts!


GOB

[KenC]

Greg,
We have the best group of knowledgable ladies on RWD right now since the inception of RWD IMO.  It appears that the loonies, troublemakers and those with a specific agenda are long gone.   That being said, I think the newbies should pay close attention to whatever the ladies post.  I think that they can learn a lot from the women here, I just would caution them that the level of women here at RWD is a much higher level than what is typically found in the fsu.
KenC
I haven't been on facebook in quite a while. Don't take it personally. )

[GregfromGa]

I certainly do think we have a nice group of intelligent ladies here. I'm certainly not questioning their opinion and intelligence. In the past it's been less painful to stick a pencil in my retina than try and figure out why some were always hanging around and offering up their venum. Might I add that not only are the ladies intelligent, but they are also very lovely.

[Simoni]

We have the best group of knowledgable ladies on RWD right now since the inception of RWD IMO. 

I agree, the vast majority are wonderful!  And if I were a single man, I'd sure be romancing Lily!   

Beautiful and smart!

[Simoni]

KenC-- hint, hint!

[GregfromGa]

I've been saying that about Lily since her first post here.LOL, She is a baby doll. I remember getting into it with some snapperhead poster that questioned her even being a woman. Now that Mrs Ash, you want to talk about a lucky man, thats Mr Ash.

[Gator]

I have always appreciated the comments made by RW. 

Each gives some insight into an individual RW's thoughts once she feels that she can talk freely.  For sure a newbie would learn that a RW is not a pushover, not a compliant Barbie Doll.

Even the opinionated and dogmatic Soviet era gals who never left Russia had their moments, e. g. Helen (?) was witty. 

[GregfromGa]

Witty, witty. Is that what they call it nowadays? LOL, I never understood her motive for hanging out on this or any other message board. She had thousands upon thousands upon thousands of posts and was always totally against what guys were trying to do. I remember when poor Olga Conroy posted on here or somewhere , Helen and some other woman was on her like a pack of rabid dogs. I'm just happy that we dont have to wade through every single thought that popped into that womans head.

[GoodOlBoy]

Even the opinionated and dogmatic Soviet era gals who never left Russia had their moments, e. g. Helen (?) was witty. 

Gator,

Are you talking about the same HELEN that use to post on RWG?

Her quote was something like:"Don't bother me I already have to many corpses under my bed"....or something like that?


GOB

 

[HiTech]

I believe any newbie who follows advice given on this forum is doomed to fail.

I believe a person who uses this forum to gain insight into the differences in culture and who tries to gain knowledge to use in making his own choices will do well.

HiTech