Why Exactly I married a Russian Woman!

[Ade]

True..

I've had a similar discussion with my wife and she says her brothers aren't at all like the guys that are being described (I would agree from the contact I've had of them) and neither are the husbands/boyfriends of her friends. Yes, there are RM that objectify women and just use them as sex toys but take a look around, men like this can be found in every country. The infidelity statistics of the good ol' U. S. of A. peg the number of cheaters at between 30 and 60% and I guess there's little difference in Europe.

[dokrog]

I've had a similar discussion with my wife and she says her brothers aren't at all like the guys that are being described (I would agree from the contact I've had of them) and neither are the husbands/boyfriends of her friends. Yes, there are RM that objectify women and just use them as sex toys but take a look around, men like this can be found in every country. The infidelity statistics of the good ol' U. S. of A. peg the number of cheaters at between 30 and 60% and I guess there's little difference in Europe.

Sighs. there are tons and tons of "good" (by our standards) Russian men. Who look out for their women first and not themselves. Is that the norm? Uhm. No actually. I quite literally know or have known thousands of russian men. Period. That's awesome that Your wifes brothers aren't that way. Neither is my wifes brother. There are and always will be exceptions. I'm not painting a bad picture on all of them. I'm not painting a bad picture at all. Maybe by the stardards of some on here but that's silly thinking. They are what they are. Period!

However. That said. I think that not a single one of her brothers would attempt to educate foreign men. It's simply not in their way of thinking. They DO NOT think that way. Ask your wife again and please be specific.

I do not take umbrage at what you say. LOL. Why?

Russian's are incredibly fond of "packing up". so. you will find "good" men with other good men. It's a simple concept really.

I do know hundreds or at least dozens and dozens of good men. I know many more Russians.

[dokrog]

I answer too quickly it seems. There are cheaters everywhere. I know many many more AM who have been abused by AW than RW. They are everywhere in every country. I'm trying here to tell why "I" married a russian woman and presenting common insights. The stats on pregnacies everywhere are staggaring. stupid. shit happens. I've found the numbers higher in the U.S. though.

I honestly think though. That if she loves you. truly loves you, an RW provides a more stable mate than an AW. For a great many reasons. Strength, financial, family...are only a few.

[Ade]

Sighs. there are tons and tons of "good" (by our standards) Russian men. Who look out for their women first and not themselves. Is that the norm? Uhm. No actually. I quite literally know or have known thousands of russian men. Period. That's awesome that Your wifes brothers aren't that way. Neither is my wifes brother. There are and always will be exceptions. I'm not painting a bad picture on all of them. I'm not painting a bad picture at all. Maybe by the stardards of some on here but that's silly thinking. They are what they are. Period!

However. That said. I think that not a single one of her brothers would attempt to educate foreign men. It's simply not in their way of thinking. They DO NOT think that way. Ask your wife again and please be specific.

I do not take umbrage at what you say. LOL. Why?

Russian's are incredibly fond of "packing up". so. you will find "good" men with other good men. It's a simple concept really.

I do know hundreds or at least dozens and dozens of good men. I know many more Russians.

Umbrage? I'd be surprised if you did as none was intended.

I guess I always question sweeping generalisations particularly those that reinforce negative stereotypes. I also know that people, no matter how honest and objective they believe themselves to be, tend to look for things that confirm their biases - there are several trendy labels for this, two being, confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance. This is not intended to be a slur as we are all prone to them but it's always a good thing to be aware that we, as humans, are fallible and are rarely as objective as we think we are.

[dokrog]

I guess I always question sweeping generalisations particularly those that reinforce negative stereotypes. I also know that people, no matter how honest and objective they believe themselves to be, tend to look for things that confirm their biases - there are several trendy labels for this, two being, confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance. This is not intended to be a slur as we are all prone to them but it's always a good thing to be aware that we, as humans, are fallible and are rarely as objective as we think we are.

True words. Very true.

[Sculpto]

My friend Sergei in Donetsk said it very plainly..

"I don't care about women, in Ukraine, women cherish men, for men, they just toys for game"

[JR]

My friend Sergei in Donetsk said it very plainly..

"I don't care about women, in Ukraine, women cherish men, for men, they just toys for game"

I can back up a lot of what is stated here. My ex related to me how every man in her family had cheated on their wives, all of them. She told me "It's just the way it is." She expected me to cheat on her. We were both faithful to each other the entire marriage. She never got to the point of trusting me in that area. I don't know but I hope she was the exception and not the rule when it comes to trust.
I have only been with one RW and I was her first partner. I can say that my first trip I met five women in 21 days there I had sex with none of them. Could have with at least one, maybe a couple others if I'd wanted to play games but I didn't. That is not what I went there for.
Not interested in going to Russia to get laid. I can do that here with a lot less hassle and expense. American women are pretty easy. I read some stats that Russians have sex more frequently than any other of the nationalities polled. That doesn't equate to promiscuioness. It didn't say how many partners it was with or if it was just married people polled.

I guess the point I am trying to make is if you are just trying to get laid do it in your back yard. It's a lot easier. A confident man can get laid anywhere in the world, without laying out large sums of money. If your reason for going there is because you have this idea that somehow you'll become someone else and all the women will drop their drawers for you with the slightest glance...well you're kidding yourself. If that is your way of thinking then I'd say you need to work on yourself first.

Take a look at that, ask yourself what you're doing and why. Then act accordingly.

[dokrog]

Part 13...... Sex in Russia part IV...Yes I realise I skipped 2 but what the hey.

I received an email. Not an Im. From a group member who wondered why I left out the wild side of sex in Russia. That perhaps I hadn't experienced it. He's right and wrong. I hadn't personally experienced it in many years but have "seen" it first hand. You'd have to be blind not to, if you "hang out" there. I'm leaving that for a bit. I haven't decided if I'll comment or not. For a great many reasons. I'll touch on that later. First though. Russian Men!

The true facts are that I did generalize about Russian Men. There's obviously a reason. There always is with me that you should know by now. I'm going to try to explain what I mean by generalizing russian men. I'll probably do a hatchet job but I'm going to try.

There are good sensitive russian men out there. Uhm. I think, probably many. Not sure exactly. I'm not a psychologist so I don't know all the right words to say. I think it's best that I make an attempt to define the Sensitive Russian Man first.

First of all you can be a good man and a good family man. Loving, caring and still have a mistress in russia.  By their way of thinking, you can be a good provider, or, good father and still have a mistress.

So let's go back to the sensitive, kind, caring russian man. The culture is changing slightly in Russia (some say rapidly but their full of shi*). Everything cycles but this change has a western influence. Women or proclaiming immancipation (although I'm not sure women outside moscow really understand what that means). They see all our movies. Read  our magazines. And they want more. Well they can be ornery anyways (the women) so what do they typically do? Welllll. Uhm. They usually scream etc. and no I'm not kidding.

Now I've mentioned before that russian women can put on a facade. They can attempt to make you believe something that may or may not be necessarily true for various reason. Usually because they want something. Well that also sounds like women in every country. Anyways. Russian men are exactly the same way.

OK. You got young Russian boy age 7 right now. He's sitting with his mother, her 2 sisters, thier babushka. and the neighbor women. Their all complaining about their men. Their hammering at this poor boy telling him NOT to be like them. To love and care for their woman, be a good provider, hold a damn job. etc..... He follows along solomn faced and eats his cake and sips his sweet tea and prays without allowing his eyeballs to twitch, thus revealing that theirs independent thought going on in there, that he can escape sometime hopefully within the next few seconds. He'd much rather be playing with his friends. Or hell, even the dead cat he discovered last night behind the apartment building (which is still laying there because no ones bothered to remove it yet because it doesn't stink enough). His father comes home shouting greetings (they love to shout) ((does NOT kiss his wife like we do here although he may pat her on the ass)) and gathers up his boy and carries him away to the glares of all the women present.

Now. let me get this straight. The father never would have come for his boy is HIS father didn't say he had something to give the boy and HIS father has the vodka. Now that were straight on that sequence of events let's continue. The two of them go to papa's hangout. Now you could call him dedushka but if he's spry enough your libel to get a stick up long side your head. And that can smart. That's happened by the way. They prefer to be called papa or great papa or general if they used to be a general in the Tsars army, or colonel, or seargent. or just about anything but dedushka. A few maybe.

The conversation that commences goes like this.

"So boy, were the old women making you miserable?" says the grandfather (old meaning all the women present)
"I rescued him papa" says the father. (who did sort of but only because he was out of work and he used up the allowance his wife had given him already and needed grandfathers vodka)
"Yes Great Papa. They were scaring me." says the boy. (who was delighted to be with his dad and grandpa but would actually still rather be playing with the dead cat behind the building, or with his friends)
"well boy. Remember your a Russian man. ((wait. I said that wrong. they don't say it like that. they massively emphasize the word russian)) and women will be women but you know your a man. Your smarter. Your stronger. They have small minds, wrong ideas. They are good for bearing our babies, for cooking pelmini and for keeping the yard clean and feeding the chickens. The last great women died in my day boy. Don't you forget it. But don't let on. Do what the old women say, You can't always count on work." says grandfather (father is nodding vigorously the whole time and they launch into a diatribe of everything wrong in Russia and why their not being handed gold on a silver platter and how the state is screwing them and the city commissar, etc etc etc. it goes on forever.)

Now...Fact? or Fiction? *laughs like crazy already knowing the answer.

So you grow up with this double system. You meet friends. You get a job or you go to the university and you suddenly discover something. You realize that the women you want to poke are reading all these western magazines. They have these strange ideas grandfather warned you about. You tone down your attitude quickly because your want to poke as many of them as you can. And you’re actually not doing too badly. You soon realize that even as a youngster. So what do you do? You realize that the proper attitude comes easy. You've developed a "sensitive side" growing up. You know without any doubt at all that men are superior but you’ve also learned full well that you get more treats with honeyed words.

Now. Sighs. What exactly is a Russian man vs a sensitive russan man. One who knows how to talk to or around women for  the most part.

Take Aleksi. He’s a computer programmer  for .com.ru. he makes 10,000 rubles a month. Good money you think. And his wife makes 4000 rubles a month working for the same company doing the same job. They met there you know. Neither one of them can remember when they were payed their full wage last. But that’s ok. They make enough through sensible frugalness to achieve a fairly high lifestyle. They have good friends. Plenty of wine and vodka when they want it (maybe not always the best wine and vodka but what the hey, this is Russia). They have a 3 year old son, no, make him 5 shall we? Aleksi  doesn’t have a mistress. Oh no. Not him. He’s a Sensitive Good Russian Husband. Ok good for him. Why though?

Welllllllll. Could be because their living in her mothers 5 room flat for one. And if the old witch were to find out he had a mistress he’d be out on his ass.  Or, because his wife works with him and even though there’s a smoking hot wench working next to him he better NOT because she’ll know. And she’s got enough dirt on him to send him to Siberia for 10 years…or more. So he ignores the glances the young hottie sends in his direction even though secretly wishing.  But when he goes out. And he goes out several times a week with his buddies they DREAM of how it used to be. How women knew their place. And they DREAM of the day when they’ll make enough money to say screw it “I can do what I want”! They DREAM of  having enough money to bring back the good ol days to their tiny pocket of a life. But Aleksi. He’s smart. He knows things. And he does a few side jobs for people. And he fondly remembers that one particular side job that gave him an extra 350 rubles (that his wife didn’t know about) that he spent very well all afternoon with a certain women he and his friends know on the south side of town. And the one thing Aleksi is…is a good father and husband, caring, sensitive and understanding.

I bet you didn’t even know that Aleksi and his wife Valentina like to go nightclubbing. But they almost never nightclub together. And when grandma is watching little Misha neither one of them will probably come home that night. *Blinks*

Grunts. I’m not saying their all like that. I am saying a great MANY sensitive Russian men are that way. It really just get’s worse. Why in HELL do you think Russian women are such good screamers????? Maybe because their constantly trying to reach octaves currently unknown to mankind?

A good Russian man knows all this crap and ignores it.
My god it’s taking forever to generalize. I’ll keep it up though. I’m having fun.

[dokrog]

Now. After saying that. Are all Russian men bad? Hell No! They are simply men.

To put it in a simple way. Most russian men are great friends to their male friends. They are also pretty good friends to their female friends, especially is their a hottie.

Put even simpler. Russia used to be a place a century ago, less actually. Where men ruled totally. Don't you think fathers pass knowledge on to their sons?

[dokrog]

By the way. I'm not finished yet. I have yet to tell why I like Russian men. And extoll their virtues. Many of my best friends are Russian men.

And of course the wild side of Russian women. Maybe.

[I/O]

Joys!! Saw the thread title and thought I could learn "exactly" why someone married a Russian woman. I've been trying to figure it out for a couple of years and still haven't a clue why I did it. Oh well...........................

[dokrog]

You are certainly a nervy basta*d I/O. Haven't you realised by now having married one that they are perfect in every way? She irons your clothes, keeps your house imaculately clean and sits at your feet with baited breath ready to swoon when you speak? Look at all the extra calories she feeds you in those awesome home cooked 5 course meals just so you have the strength to please her at your leisure.

OK. got to go. Still laughing over his previous post and trying to write about the redeming qualitites of russian men that will be believable and actually true.

[I/O]

You are certainly a nervy basta*d I/O.

Been worse said.

She irons your clothes, keeps your house imaculately clean and sits at your feet with baited breath ready to swoon when you speak? Look at all the extra calories she feeds you in those awesome home cooked 5 course meals

Yeah, all that and just think, all I wanted was one who'd put out reggerlah like. 

trying to write about the redeming qualitites of russian men

They're OK. Some of them are a bit full of BS but most are OK.

I/O

[dokrog]

Yup they are. Just trying to write it so they understand it. *grins*

[dokrog]

Darn. I finally understand. You just haven't had enough investment opportunities presented to you  yet.

[I/O]

investment opportunities

Speakin' of that, Mrs was trying to convince me the other day that a 16.5% return on cash in a Russian bank was a "good investment". Only proves to me it is not only Western Men who are deluded (wasn't the most romantic conversation we've ever had. 9000 miles and didn't really need the telephone LOL).

I/O

[dokrog]

Good luck with that one.. Tell you what. Got this idea that will make us rich. All we need.....