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Author Topic: Being a gentleman or a chump?  (Read 8542 times)

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Offline Patagonie

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Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #250 on: April 24, 2019, 01:19:01 AM »
BO, I have met in Ukraine and even in the USA women who fit this description perfectly.
someone naïve will be quickly consumed by the many sharks that roam the seas
knowledge of sharks is not something we are born with
but must acquire after losing a few fingers, as I have done

I think a problem Trench has is his communication style he says “All” instead of “some” or “many” - his generalizations are too general

I have met ALL KINDS of people in Ukraine
but in general it’s a much more “dog eat dog” world than in the west
not a country for “naifs” which describes Trench pretty well, even me to when I was younger
In FSU to get their results women have to be more upfront. In the west the mindset is quite the same minus statiscally the women who are economically well off (and even among this group you have some wolves). At the end the difference is that western women don't have to be dog eat dog, the courts do it on their behalf. And guess what the court is almost exclusively composed of women. What a coïncidence.
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Offline Patagonie

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Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #251 on: April 24, 2019, 01:38:28 AM »
Obviously not statistical but my Latvian male friends when in Slavic  countries take a girl out on a first date if they like her give her 100 dollars and tell her to spend it on make up and clothes and come back for more when it's gone.  So it's a 2 way test .  He shows he's a provider she shows how fast she gets through money and what she spends it on.  It's a completely different mind set.  So you can understand how u w are confused by w m.  I know a few more Slavic men than just my former co workers and this seems to be how they roll.
That's not so bad idea. Because the girl makes her this money. And because of that they want to have the best bang for the same buck, you know them, they can spend hours, days, weeks, months (i saw my ex wife doing this) to chase the branded throuser they want and they come along the shop every week to watch the tag and they ask the saleswoman to know when the discount will be available, want o know about the stock and.... bla bla bla.
Of course if you buy it yourself that's a different story she don't own this money so she basically don't care except if of course you are established as a family, therefore if it's money family so the story is  different.


I think that you have to give a monthly  allowance to the lady when you are commited, as wages in FSU are generally very low. In this case when you have to spend extra money (over her money) you have to keep the control minimum 90% of time. I was regulary showing to my ex wife the amount of taxes needed to be paid, different bills. Also when she asks something you don't want, say no or no i don't like.
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Online Trenchcoat

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Being a gentleman or a chump?
« Reply #252 on: April 24, 2019, 01:55:19 AM »
So,

Back to the topic - being a gentleman or a chump.

I communicated with a beautiful woman from Odessa, who, after several messages back and forth, suggested we meet.  I said I was planning to visit there the next month.  She said she was bored of Odessa and suggested Geneva.  I quickly realized I was put in the Chump category. 

After deciding to meet T, we started making plans for what cities to visit and where to stay.  She picked a modest priced hotel in Kyiv, I picked an Airbnb apartment in Lviv, and she picked an expensive Hotel on the beach in Odessa.  I suggested a more reasonably priced place, but she really wanted to stay at M1 Club hotel.  The thought of her taking advantage crossed my mind, but I decided to be a gentleman and go with her wishes.

Everything went well, more than I hoped.  But one day, while in Odessa, she wanted me to take her shopping for shoes.  She got a pair of diesel sandals and made me get a couple pairs of stylish sneakers (she thought the ones I had were for dedushkas).  Of course I paid for everything, but the doubt crossed my mind.

A few days later we had a long talk, about past relationships and about how we felt about each other.  She said that she was still single and looking because the last two relationships failed because her boyfriends were from different lifestyles than hers.  One was a soldier who could afford basic things but not much else.  Her income was 4 times his and she felt awkward.  I realized the hotel and shopping was sort of a test from her, to see if I was who I said I was and could keep up with her. 

Odd thing, after our talk and we decided tomorrow be a couple, she turned out to be somewhat of a spendthrift.  When I mention we should dine at a nice restaurant she wants to go home and have a home cooked meal instead. Mostly, that is.  A few times she agreed to dine out if the restaurant I suggested had good reviews or were recommended by her friends.  And she doesn't have a large wardrobe.  She spends on pricy clothing for quality and doesn't go for quantity.


Gentleman or Chump.  Each situation is different.  Some are obvious, but some may need clarification by discussing the issue with the woman.  The cat food girl (what a nickname) - she could be leading BB on, or she could have been evaluating BB for his ability to provide.  A modest woman would not have asked for those things and would have waited for them to be offered, but maybe she wanted to be more direct and not waste either of their time.

I think your girl is the exception here Steve. There aren't that many women in Ukraine that earn more then men (I mean the decent ones). So few will be in that situation, most of the time when awoman carries on like that it's not a good sign and she needs to be reigned in at the first offence of non date expenditure and boundaries established. If it becomes clear she is a transactional type of girl then it's a case of deciding what deal you want and how to what extent or moving on. My thought is that a lot of girls who are not massively into the guy may be open to transactional relationships. I'm not sure whether such relationships are a good idea or long term go in them.

I think your girl was lucky Steve as you could have easily have thought she was a bad girl and dumped her. I've been in the situation where mixed signals are coming through and been near to the point of calling it a day, its very disconcerting. Without her knowing WM and our culture it's a very silly thing to do. She should have really thought that WM could get the wrong idea about her quite quickly.

In general as Gator says a good girl asks for nothing. If she asks for stuff deal with exactly what she wants (and I don't mean the item asked for), what the setup is and get to the bottom of it or just move on.
No Deal is Ideal :)

 

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