First Meeting

[Saltheart]

Thanks Gator, thanks guys.  I'll let you know how it goes.

-SH

[Daveman]

SMS/GQB -

She's been to the States twice.. Midwest and East coast.  She's active, fit, (late 20's..i'm late 30's) but not uber-fit.  Think she would prefer a nice, casual hike/walk rather than some hardcore rock climbing for example.  Very easy-going, relaxed, etc., but is open to new and different things.  I will need to ask her tonight more about her activities and what she thinks she would like to do on this trip.  Still much about her I don't know.  

Question - did you guys spring for First/Business class....it's about an extra $1,500 but I want her to be as comfortable as possible.  I didn't quite realize that she's looking at an almost 22-24 hour flight from Russia....jeez.  Looking at the Turkish Airlines flight as it only has 1 stopover in Istanbul.

Well the warnings have been issued so I'll answer just this... how do you fly when you do?  If you fly first or business, then spring for her as well to be in the same league as yourself for the trip. If you fly coach/economy then that's what you do for her - if you make this some kind of a scam test or whatever, you'll pretty much hand her the platter upon which to place your ass... relax.... it's a risk, and you've chosen to play the odds, so play them without reservations.  Do what you normally do..   as with heading the other direction, regardless of the communication before hand, this is just a first date, albeit expensive compared to a chance meeting at a local coffee shop, and hopefully a prolonged one, but still a first date.  

[Daveman]

Denial isn't only a river in the Mid East.  Salty, in your response, notwithstanding your claim that money isn't an issue, you continually focus on that as being her only possible gain. It isn't about her (if her is her) gain as much as it is about your loss. Money, crap, $5000, one can earn that back in a heartbeat. It's your emotional investment is where I'm angling. You're in this way over your head and need to get a grip IMO.

Take a look at what could be the very best case scenario. She does actually front (a handful have over the years) and you have two blissful weeks together. What now? I'll tell you what now for the most part. If you've any sense, you'll plan a second period of time together and believe me, THAT IS when you really start to figure each other out. The euphoria is gone, the novelty is gone and it comes down to whether or not you actually like each other. People are easy enough to love but it isn't always so easy to like someone.

As for her analytical nature, yes, I've seen that in Russians but I wouldn't call it a trait. What you will find is the average Russian is better educated than the average American. At a higher level (say 2 degrees or masters or...) IME the disparity is not great generally and may even swing the other way. What is typical is the willingness to argue or present the case at length and often  rather dogmatically I might add.

As far as all her apparent comments about you, your attractiveness or otherwise, THAT does ring loud bells with me because I simply haven't met many, in fact I can't remember any, RW who'll go there at all, much less prior to meeting. But.......understand, they will discuss this with their peers or friends.

Excellent...

[JR]

Aeroflot flys non-stop from Moscow to L.A...best to both of you.

[Muzh]

Denial isn't only a river in the Mid East.  Salty, in your response, notwithstanding your claim that money isn't an issue, you continually focus on that as being her only possible gain. It isn't about her (if her is her) gain as much as it is about your loss. Money, crap, $5000, one can earn that back in a heartbeat. It's your emotional investment is where I'm angling. You're in this way over your head and need to get a grip IMO.

It is called life. Here and THERE.

Take a look at what could be the very best case scenario. She does actually front (a handful have over the years) and you have two blissful weeks together. What now? I'll tell you what now for the most part. If you've any sense, you'll plan a second period of time together and believe me, THAT IS when you really start to figure each other out. The euphoria is gone, the novelty is gone and it comes down to whether or not you actually like each other. People are easy enough to love but it isn't always so easy to like someone.

Best case scenario can also be meeting the perfect mate at the local supermarket.

As for her analytical nature, yes, I've seen that in Russians but I wouldn't call it a trait. What you will find is the average Russian is better educated than the average American. At a higher level (say 2 degrees or masters or...) IME the disparity is not great generally and may even swing the other way. What is typical is the willingness to argue or present the case at length and often  rather dogmatically I might add.

Is this some kind of negative?

As far as all her apparent comments about you, your attractiveness or otherwise, THAT does ring loud bells with me because I simply haven't met many, in fact I can't remember any, RW who'll go there at all, much less prior to meeting. But.......understand, they will discuss this with their peers or friends.

And you don't think local girls don't do the same?

Boy, you guys make this look like a flight mission to Mars. Ground control to Major Tom: It is NOT.

The MAN is just meeting a woman in his own turf. What if she doesn't show up? Are you guys telling me you've never been stood up? Did your world crumbled because one lousy date?

Are you guys trying to protect Mr Salty?
Are you a bunch of Liberals? <joke>

[Faux Pas]

And you don't think local girls don't do the same?

Boy, you guys make this look like a flight mission to Mars. Ground control to Major Tom: It is NOT.

The MAN is just meeting a woman in his own turf. What if she doesn't show up? Are you guys telling me you've never been stood up? Did your world crumbled because one lousy date?

Are you guys trying to protect Mr Salty?
Are you a bunch of Liberals? <joke>

Protect him, not at all. However, attempting to arm him with pertinent information that he might find useful in case his venture is bliss or goes south. He's a big boy and will survive it either way. He's here looking for information and IMHO not just affirmation.

There is certainly a "cut-off" point as to where this could be compared to dating a local girl, no? A local lady doesn't require months of online communique, a visa and expensive travel. She's coming for two weeks not just one night at the local Bistro. There isn't much success in women (from this or other boards) who have visa in hand and find a financier for her trip. I like most everyone else here would love this to be the successful one to point to. I just don't have a lot of faith that it will.