Best way to describe wealth / standard of living?

[Jumper]

jb well stated on the ecomomics..
on an average salary, i could make all those trips to the FSU, because i owned my new home outright,  had no car loan and zero credit card dept.  These are the types of things that culturally/ecomomically  are hard to explain/understand  as most average americans in my income bracket have a boat load of debt , credytit cards /mortgage car etc. butthey live a very similar lifestyule on borrowed money. In the FSU credit has not been a big factor but it is becoming one quickly.


on the BCIS front-

Any, I repeat, any, irregularity in an application will result in a denial these days.  The more red flags you throw into the mix the better is the chance of refusal. 

a letter in our last name was typoed by the ukranian buarcreacy incorrectly.
so while her 131 visa (not K1)  was approved.. she could not get it or use it untill the typo was corrected within the ukranian system. fun stuff.


additionally now three years of marriage down the road 
we need to file AOS for her permenant card ..(instead of conditional.

I supplied everthing the BCIS asked for in the AOS application.
proof of :
joint accounts
joint IRS filings
joint utility bills
drivers licenses and other proofs of living at the same address.
notirized affidivats from a bunch of people that know we are married and the nature of our relationship
tons of photos of us together eat various functions thru the years,, with friends family etc..


keep in mind folks the AOS is simply an adjustment of status..
status you already have-
 you are simply providing proofs that you are still married, and still in the same circumstance the original visa was issued under.

in our case she immigrated on a I 131 (i dont temeber the number sactually)
and is already married to a US citizen for several years.
her status is temporary (GC) for two years, to perove its legitimacy,  thens its time to adjust the status to permanent.

we provided every proof a reasonable person could ask for.
afterall they are just trying to determine that you are still married living in the same house together,
and is not an marriage soley for immigration purposes

i get a letter back asking me to provide further proofs ..and a list of those items needed.
fine.
the letter goes on to list the items seperatly,
and THEN states directly below each of them that
 "you have already provided this spercific information ,
do not resend it"
 

the letter  concluded with  the request that we  send further proofs for there to be enough evidence for a positive answer to our petition..

so what exactly were they asking for?

I replied rather pointedly that since i had already sent everything they asked for and they had noted as such..
that maybe they would like to base thier responce on something more aunthentic? and generiusly offered them to come  share our home for severeal months to make  better informed decision on such an important matter of wether we had a legitimate marriage.

I also informed them that if they are going to grill married couples with obvious proofs of still being married and living together,,
after 2 years!  and make them wait 2 years to even file in a one month "window time frame" jump thrui all the hoops..

that it would be adviseable to NOT  outline the exact process to file a successful  AOS when no longer married to the original petitioner on thier websight .which can be filed at anytime..

 no needf to wait,, my wife could have seperated from me-
 filed in the first 6 weeks- had her AOS adjusted within 3 months
to permeant  and we could "get back together" and been done with all this  years ago.

isnt the WHOLE IDEA of even having a AOS yeasrs later, to insure people are not abusing the system.to wed out the ones wantingto take an easy patrh?
not to make the *loop hole* MUCH MUCH  EASIER than the correct filing?


anyway my responce from them is now they will schedule us an interview. sometime in the future..

i am REALLY really looking forward to it..!!
 as perhaps they would  like us to consumate the marriage in thier office.. what the hell is left to prove? without them living with us 24/7?an offer i already generously made.
quite likely i will be thrown in jail if the interviwer makes the slightest weird or off color comment..to either of us.
my pateince with them in the face of the obviuous contradictions in thier process is completely over.I have had it.
anyone here with my bail covered?

sorry for the rant.

but be advised , if you marry abroad you will be dealing with bureacratic stupidity at its highest and most inefficeint level.







 

[Bruce]

AJ, JB - I echo what you say about the BCINS    Though I am at a much earlier stage of the process I know what a pain the waiting game is.  AJ, I hope you never get a chance to vent with or at the BCINS "officer."  We all know that and ? whatever it costs to get a cup of coffee will still get you is a cup of coffee.  Excellent thread on how to describe wealth as well as the points from Gator about the negativity of being cheap.  I never spent big, she never did mind and still does not mind my odd tastes in restaurants.   The key for me is spending enough to show that I care. If you do that you will not be labeled as greedy. 

[Jumper]

Bruce- i have to say up untill this point in the proicess,

the BCIS in our case has been quick, on time , easy to follow the process and complete the forms and requirements  yourself.
no problems whatesover.
The one small typo snag in the ukrainian end was understandable and no big deal. it simply added an additional flight to warsaw for my wife.

as far as mty rant now,
the AOS for an already married couple, its utterly ridiculas. 

my rant maybe overshadowed the true sillyness of the system.

let me be more plain.
it is far far FAR easier , and 2 years FASTER,
for an immigrant on a marriage visa to adjust their green card status if seperated or divorced.
Than to fullfill the visa's intent and remain married for two yewrs then remain married and file for the adjustment.

this is quite silly enough?

add in the fact that the only reason to have an AOS at all..
the whole purpose of the AOS process.
to have married couples wait two year to file, the whole intent of the proces even being in place.. is to insure that at 2 years the couple is still together ,living in the same place, and still married.

to make the AOS process easier to be circumvented , by SEPRATION OR DIVORCE,
 when its whole intent is to insure legitimacy of a visa strickly based  on marriage

well it's not simply frustrating.
it is ironic and moronic beyond imagination if you really think about it. 

as far as any BCIS intervier or officer,,foolish enough to be as insensitive during the interview , as i have heard first hand that some are,,
 i've been thrown in the brig for worse than whatever fate might befall him...LOL!

[Bruce]

AJ, very well said, and I hear you.  Too bad our government thinks otherwise  .

[viking]

I forget where I read this:

The richest people in the world are not those with the most , but those that need it the least.

Or something to that effect.

I personally was friends, for awhile, with the son of one of the richest men in America. Top 10. $2.5 million apartment  in NYC. The man was a jerk. He flew every month, on his dads personal jet, to meet a woman in Germany. Never had a smile on his face. Most unhappy man I ever met.

I met a family in SPB. Small flat, a daughter with a cat, decent job and hard working people.
Opened their doors to me, offered me their hospitatility, laughter in the home, warm, caring, positive about life.

He was wealthier. They were richer.

[jb]

The officer’s first question was in Russian and asked, “How long have you known this man?”  She replied in English, “Almost three years and we have spent 180 (?) days together.”  His eyes got real big and he then fumbled through the documents for a moment.  He next asked a couple of very simple questions and said “approved”.

I can see that happening, imagine what would have been the course of questions had she said; "we've been together 5 days".  You cannot compare your experience with Nr1 and what T/G is facing with vwrw.  It's not even in the same ball park.

I hate to keep harping on this, but the visa is not automatic anymore.

[Turboguy]

Yes, probably two or three more questions.   It may not be automatic but it still has an extremely high rate of approvals.

[Mir]

I think women in FSU are like traditional women everywhere. Ideally they will look for a mate who can provide them (and the children) with a comfortable life. After all isn’t that one of the main reason they look for a Westerner?
However money is not the only or even the main motivator for most, so once you  get to date one you may be able to win her by your charm, persistence or any other assets that you posses.
Here in England average property prices are much higher then US. The average detached house costing around $500,000 (the exchange rate skewing the figures somewhat). Many people in especially in the South have houses worth over $1,000,000 yet they can barely get the basic necessities of life due to a low disposable income.
I agree that it is a bad idea to try and impress FSU women by putting your wealth in figures as they may not have any concept of this.
Personally I don’t think $120,000 per year is rich. It is just middle class.

[Gator]

Viking,

I mentioned generosity earlier.  Generosity is more than spending money on someone.  It requires giving your heart, your time, your last Kopeck (and RW have experienced that), your everything, etc.  

Your StP family knows generosity, and yes they are indeed richer.  

A "good" Russian woman would give her heart to a generous average AM.  She would probably be attracted to your ex-friend at first but never give him her heart.

[viking]

Gator


Here is the family I was referring to. The daughter took the photo. The woman in the middle is Elena who befriended me. The man at the end is Alex her husband. The flat belonged to the man and woman on the left. I am next to Alex.

[Jumper]

Personally I don’t think $120,000 per year is rich. It is just middle class.

whoa.. I might not view someone at that salary is very "rich",
 but certainly not middle class?

perhaps jobs pay better in england though?

I know quite a few people,in many walks of life,,
(many from england working here in fact)
but yes mostly middle class,,
 and the list is very very umm VERY small of those whose salary exceeds 120,000 annually, and does so consistantly.

if they do, they are airline pilots or doctors ,, or perhaps extreemly succussful lawyers, or a contractor or  entrepenuer or two.
I do know a few executive officers in large corporations
that pull that kind of salary as well..

but none of whom earn what most people would regard as middle class wages.

if 120K is indeed a middle class salary,  i am diffinantly a pauper  
(i'll have to tell the wife to trade the lex back in, until i reach proper middle class..lol)


again this brings up the cultural difficulties in understanding of true economic wealth though?

I have two friends both airline pilots for the same large commericial airline.Both enjoy very decent salaries,both level headed with money..  but the circumstances are very different.
 one is ex military and got a huge part of his training and experience there, before flying busses.
He has little debt and his salary goes a very long way.
Most would consider him very *well off*

 The other worked his way thru school, and had student loans for the bulk of his pilot training and certification.He spent the first ten years paying back his rather large student loans and is mortaged to the hilt.. sure he gets by ,but has no real extra income for activities
and would not be considered *well off*

if both went to the FSU.. *shrugs*

well it would be hard to differentiate their places in life easily from the outside looking in? or even from the cost of living in thier area.

 

[Gator]

Viking,

Yep!  Those are real Russians.  I don't think that cat likes you.


AJ,

It would be difficult to feel like a pauper with a wife like yours, with such a handsome dog, with your brain still intact from your thrill rides, and with the way your Bears are playing.  My Bucs have let me down.

[Turboguy]

Nice pic Viking.  From the look of the smile on your face you were having a nice time with some great people.   I think one of the things that seem common with all the Russian people is that their hospitality and generosity is second to no one.

[viking]

TG

Yep. Nice people. Gave me a nice lunch and then took out an atlas and wanted to see where I lived. I found it interesting that my home town was on the map. Since I live on the ocean, when I returned home I sent them some sea shells for their daughter. Here is the daughter and the cat again.
Sorry to be off topic.

[Kuna]

I'm off topic but I can't resist following up on this. The guy who poached my fiancee's client is in for a surprise in a few weeks. Recently, their firm ordered business cards for employees and just before the order went to the printer, she changed the guy's name on the request form to "Abramowitz."

She knows well that antisemitism is rampant in Russia so he's not going to be too pleased when he gets his new business cards

That's a classic!!!  What a woman!