social security number

[Elen]

He will receive gifts from me in due time but not when he begs for them

Right! As for Russian fathers then all what they can do is either to forget their children or spoil them with expencive gifts which mother can't affort:?

[PeeWee]

The dollar store is one of the most encorraging things I have heard yet from the saga of Clyde. I think is is good that you got here there. $92.00 spent at the dollar store if 4 times that spent elsewhere. Nice move, Clyde.

Pee Wee and son Pee Wee Junior reporting from Moscow.

[Bruno]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

Bruno,

The child in my care is 14 and taller than me.

He is pretty much on his way to adulthood but there is still a lot of immaturity.

I would never consider adopting a child this old and he probably does not like the idea either. It is fortunate his father loves him and is not a deadbeat like so many Russian men I have heard about. The father has bought expensive gifts for his son and I think the boy is expecting the same from me. He will receive gifts from me in due time but not when he begs for them.

 

Clyde, you have right... he is already 14 year old... but he will stay with you until he begin the professional life... this mean the end of college and university.... around 10 year...

I can assure you that in ten year, your feeling for him will be like the feeling from a father... and for him, the same...

I am not sure that he show a lot of immaturity... he is at the begin of the puberty, a difficult periode for adolescent... and for a son, the image of the father will be the more important... you cannot buy a pubert with gift... only with your heart... and authorithy... at these age, the testoterone can make him agressif, revolutionaire, ... all is possible... and it will be your work of father to keep him on the right way...

Not a easy task but the reward will be great... a grow up adult who respect you and love like a father...

About the adoption, it was not a choice but a obligation, a responsability in my case... i like to try plan everything can happen, same the bad... so, my logical was simple... if something bad happen with her mother ( dead ) before they receive the nationality, the child was sending back in Russia by the family... and i was not wishing that this happen... not because of me or some egoistic meaning but because the child... Anastasia have follow all the basic school here in Belgium, she was speaking Russian but not able to write ( her mother have never learn it to her ) but she was perfect in Dutch languages... imagine the situation if she was send back at 10 year old... the big problem in russian school who can lead to a bad future... it is one of the reason i have stay so long with her mother, for allow the child to stay here and have a normal life... yes, i have pay the heavy price but i have no regret... i know that anastasia will be happy in the future and will be able to build a successfull career and life... it is what all father wish for his child... and i have make my task of father to the last moment...

Don't worry, i am actualy in almost the same situation that you... my actual girlfriend have a son of 15 year old... and it is our main problem... between us, all see good but both, we try to find the best for her son... enough for now about my starting relation, these info will come next year, after the trip report from november these year...

[Turboguy]

Personally I think it would be a bit harder to get as really close to a child that came in to your life at age 14 than one who came into your life at a much earlier age.   There just is less time to bond and less time to share the parts of growing up that are already part of his past life.

I never had quite the experience you are having son of Clyde, but I did raise a couple of my own through those years.   Right now he is on your computer loading all kinds of things and with you all the time.   In 6 months when he has made friends, learned the langauge and gotten used to things here it will be almost like he does not exist.  At that age he will have his own life and he will sleep there and maybe eat there and then he will be running with his friends.   You may find you are a chauffer but that will be about your duties.    Better days are coming.

[PeeWee]

Personally I think it would be a bit harder to get as really close to a child that came in to your life at age 14 than one who came into your life at a much earlier age.   There just is less time to bond and less time to share the parts of growing up that are already part of his past life.

I never had quite the experience you are having son of Clyde, but I did raise a couple of my own through those years.   Right now he is on your computer loading all kinds of things and with you all the time.   In 6 months when he has made friends, learned the langauge and gotten used to things here it will be almost like he does not exist.  At that age he will have his own life and he will sleep there and maybe eat there and then he will be running with his friends.   You may find you are a chauffer but that will be about your duties.    Better days are coming.

I will also inherit a 14 year old. A girl. I'd rather it be a boy. I must be crazy to do it. I cannot think of a greater challenge, or test, than to have had a 14 year Russian girl/woman adjust to me, the USA, and her teen years. I almost do not want it.

About two years ago her mother left the girl with me, she was 11 at the time, for a day while she traveled to California for a business trip. I worried about having to spend the day with a girl of 11, whether she be Russian or American. We had a great day at the mall, movie, lunch at Micky D's. One significant event was that she got her ear pierced. Just one ear, not both. I asked her, "Is this ok with your mother?" She assured me it was. So we went off to get her ear pierced. She acted as if she were going to have her appendix removed. But to ease her apprehension the woman in the earring store gave her a little black bear to hold. The piercing went ok but when it came time for her to return the bear the bear would not leave her hands. "He helped me through it," she protested. "I must keep him." So I bought a bear too. I remember the event but not the bear.

Now two years later. The girl is in NY with her mother. It's time to pack for the flight back to Russia and the beloved bear is left in the hotel room. I get a frantic call at 3am West Coast time, "You remember bear." Yawn...ahh..."What bear?"  "You know black bear from earring store in Seattle." "Ahhhhhh....yeah, the bear. What about it?" "we left bear in hotel in NY. Will you call hotel and get bear. Daughter is crying and connot sleep."

So I call the hotel. No bear. I called mother back and told her to describe the bear to me and I would go to the erring store, if they were still even in business, and see if there was another bear. I did it but not knowing what the bear looking like I had to depend on the store to know. Well...no black bear but the store clerk told me to call their corporate HQ in Illinois and ask them. I did and was told that the bears are apart of the "Claire" corporation store promotions and that the bears are changed every two years. I asked if I could get the current bear and how much would it cost me. Well, no matter the cost, I would send them $100.00. Not to worry they told me. They would send me the bear for free.

Well that was 6 weeks ago. I carried that bear to moscow and delivered it to the girl. AS luck would have it it was the exact same bear. The girl was thrilled and there is no way to decribe to you how many appreciation points I gained with both the mother and the daughter. Mother was so impressed that I even remember what the stupid bear looked like. Little did she know! But I played it to my full advantage. "Oh, yeah, I remember everything imporant," I assured her. I am now the greatest thing since sliced bread. So it'st the little things that matter, guys. Look for them as your opportunity and then go for it. I think with Clyde the computer might be a bit more expensive but the appreciation gained might be worth that expense.

 

Peewee and peewee junior reporting from Moscow

[Bruno]

Good post PeeWee... strange that some little detail can make big hapiness... visit your ladie with PeeWee junior is really a great idea... Have a good stay in Moscow and enjoy the life...

[PeeWee]

Good post PeeWee... strange that some little detail can make big hapiness... visit your ladie with PeeWee junior is really a great idea... Have a good stay in Moscow and enjoy the life...

About 2 years ago she brought her daughter with her to visit me. I thought at first it was a dumb idea because how do you make time with mom when the little one is always around. But as it turned out it worked to my advantage because had not the little one taken to me then the big one would not have either. I thought it was important that I bring my son this time so that he could feel that he was an important part of this process, so that the could bond with his new sister, and so that he could see for himself were his new mother and sister came from and to better understand their heritage. It is working out well but what I sacrifice in this process is that with two childern to keep track of the down time (if you catch my drift) is tough to come by. That will have to come later I fear.

I had breakfast with an English chap this morning. He is visiting Moscow from Sheffield. He has been dating a RW for two years. It is interesting that the war stories are simular. He is doing well but according to him it is not any easier to bring an RW to the UK. He was joking how it was so easy for the Packies and the Indians to walk right into the country and set up on welfare but try to get one little RW in and the entire UK comes to a grinding halt. He had good humor about it.

PeeWee and PeeWee junior reporting from Moskva