Is my Russian wife cheating on me or am I overreacting?

[Doll]

Doll, how would you translate this:

19:28:50 priezzhayte, muzh uedet skoro v utu, tak chto budu odna
19:29:34 chto o
19:30:06 hot tub(e)

And let me make it clearer:

19:28:50 priezzhayte, muzh uedet skoro v utu, tak chto budu odna
---> message from Dima missing
19:29:34 chto o
---> message from Dima missing
19:30:06 hot tub(e)

You really don't see ANY connection between her inviting Dima and friends over and the mention of 'hot tub' two lines down?
 

Jooky, the responses from Dima are missing, I can give you thousands of possible remarks that he COULD give, I mean thousands versions.
 Speaking the language  is one thing, reading comprehension is another.
 ALL THE NATIVE SPEAKERS here say there was not anything dirty in this chat. Hot tub could occur in any context.

[Jooky]

Doll, you're clearly making a fool's argument for the sake of arguing and defending a woman's bad behavior simply because she's Russian, but I'll play along.

1. My original response was to Meis who claims that the words 'hot tub' don't even appear in this chat. They do, though it doesn't really matter. The chat posted here is not the root of this man's problems. His problem is the mutual lack of trust and respect he and his wife are showing for each other and their marriage.

2. Hot tub does not occur here in any context. It occurs in the context of a conversation, immediately following an invitation to come over.

3. Comprehension of the conversation and situation would allow you to fill in the blanks, not leave it open to a thousand possibilities. If you think there are a thousand possibilities for this one phrase, then it's impossible for you to judge whether this conversation is damning or benign. It could mean anything to you.

4. I challenge you to give me 10 possibilities for the appearance of hot tub in the context of this conversation. Better yet, let's hear your most plausible explanation of why 'hot tub' appears here.

Mine is: it appears here because she wants to go hot tubbing with Dima and other friends.

5. I didn't say this conversation was dirty or that it implies that she's cheating with this guy Dima. Why would it? She didn't spend the night with Dima. She spent the night with Dima's friend.

All it shows to me is that this girl is hanging out with an typical young party crowd and inviting guys over to party with her while her husband is around. You seriously disagree with that?

[Aloe]

5. I didn't say this conversation was dirty or that it implies that she's cheating with this guy Dima. Why would it? She didn't spend the night with Dima. She spent the night with Dima's friend.

that is not true. all she says is she left her newly bought dress (still packed in a bag apparently) at Martinov's house; That does NOT mean she spent the night with Martinov. First of all , Martinov is a last name. You do not call your lovers by their last name, you can call a friend by last name in case he has a common first name, but definitely not a lover. Second of all, there could be a party at martinovs house, this does NOT mean he was present, he could have given the keys to some other friends to use his place. And you cannot say how many people were there. Maybe she was there alone, to feed his cat while he is on vacation, and forgot her bag with a dress there. There is dozens of ways this could happen

[UTRO]

If there was cheating involved and she had a lover, why was there no direct reference to sex or inuendo to the effect at least?
Reference to husband leaving town and hottub, appears more as an invite to come over with friends to get drunk with her while he's away   

[Jooky]

Aloe, I assume she spent the night at Dima's friend's house because:

1. Dima is obviously one of her party friends who went out with as they are discussing a mutual friend who passed out in the car.

2. She came home at 10AM in the morning. Nightclubs close at 4AM. She must have slept somewhere, right? Or maybe she spent those hours in church? What do you think is most likely?

Maybe she was there alone, to feed his cat while he is on vacation, and forgot her bag with a dress there.

On the same night that she stayed out partying with her friends?

Maybe she was abducted by aliens and this is why she was out all night. Why are you making excuses for this woman? Throwing out random unlikely excuses for his wife's behavior does not help the original poster here.

Given what's been presented here my most plausible explanation is that this woman spent the night at Dima's friend's home. You say absolutely, this is not true. So, since you KNOW, tell us, where did she spend the night?

[Jooky]

Reference to husband leaving town and hottub, appears more as an invite to come over with friends to get drunk with her

That's exactly what I just posted above. If your wife agrees with this, then at least one of the native speakers besides my visiting friend agree with what I think of this conversation.  

PS: It's not like this was some conversation designed to expose how she is cheating and with whom. It's just a random conversation with a friend. Why would there be talk of sex? What would she say "Oh, by the way, I banged your friend last night"?

Again, all it show is that this woman is engaged in typical party time behavior with a bunch of young dudes. If she's cheating or not, who knows? What I do know is that young guys that like to party also like to have sex, and the partying all night scenario does provide the temptation and potential for cheating. People here seriously disagree with that?

[Aloe]

Given what's been presented here my most plausible explanation is that this woman spent the night at Dima's friend's home. You say absolutely, this is not true. So, since you KNOW, tell us, where did she spend the night?

thats not what you said 2 posts above. here is what you said:

She spent the night with Dima's friend.

you cant know WHO she was with in that house, that was my point

[Aloe]

and who is to say she didnt feed his cat in the evening, left her dress there, then proceeded to party elsewhere? You cant know that

[GoodOlBoy]

.....left her dress there, then proceeded to party elsewhere.....

I have a question...If she left her"dress" at some guys house, what the hell did she wear to go "partying" elsewhere? ....bra and panties....bikini bathing suit...?  :evil:


GOB

[Jooky]

Aloe, me saying that she spent the night with Dima's friend doesn't mean that she slept with him or even shared a bed with him. It simply means she spent the night at his house. If you pay attention to my posts I've repeated several times that nobody here knows whether this woman is cheating or not.

Again, I don't know if she fed someone's cat or what else she did that evening. What we do know is that she was somewhere between 4AM and 10AM.

I'm trying to give a reasonable explanation for the events in this chat. I think that's what the original poster was looking for.

I think it's reasonable that she would buy and wear a new dress to go out to the clubs. Don't you?

I think it's reasonable that she would sleep somewhere between the time clubs close and the time she arrived home? Don't you? It makes sense to me that she would spend the night with one of the guys she was partying with. Again, this doesn't mean they had sex.

I think it's reasonable that she wouldn't wear her new dress on the bus, that she would change into it for clubbing, change out of it to go to sleep, wake up, put on whatever she wore on the bus and accidently leave her dress where she spent the night.

It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to put these things together.

Why create all these lame scenarios and excuses? Again, where do you think she spent the night?

[Aloe]

i dont know and cant know where she spent the night, and neither can you, so all your assumptions are worthless. Im trying to make a point that there is no way for us to know anything out of that info, so you should stop making statements where she was and what she did. It doesnt matter what makes sense to you or to me or anyone else, the only thing that matters is what she really did, which we do not know

[Jooky]

I disagree. Reasonable assumptions are not worthless, either in this situation or in most situations in life. If you can't connect the dots in this conversation it simply shows your lack of comprehension.

Regardless, you're wrong in saying there is no way for us to know anything from the info given here.

For example: We do know that this woman invited her friends over for when her husband is away, and she typed this with a smiley. Some posters here find that alone reprehensible.

It's up to the poster to read what's been translated here and fit it in with whatever else is going on between him and his wife.

[GoodOlBoy]

Wheres Sculpto??

I think Sculpto and Kuna got sent to the woodshed by "Herr" Dan. :evil:

I've been there a "few" times myself.


GOB

[Aloe]

I disagree. Reasonable assumptions are not worthless, either in this situation or in most situations in life. If you can't connect the dots in this conversation it simply shows your lack of comprehension.

Regardless, you're wrong in saying there is no way for us to know anything from the info given here.

For example: We do know that this woman invited her friends over for when her husband is away, and she typed this with a smiley. Some posters here find that alone reprehensible.

It's up to the poster to read what's been translated here and fit it in with whatever else is going on between him and his wife.

it is UNREASONABLE to assume anything out of this conversation. it has nothing to do with comprehension, it has to do with the fact that things could have gone a million different ways and there is no way in hell to know what went on, so again, all assumtions are worthless

[Doll]

it is UNREASONABLE to assume anything out of this conversation. it has nothing to do with comprehension, it has to do with the fact that things could have gone a million different ways and there is no way in hell to know what went on, so again, all assumptions are worthless

We (natives) are wasting our time here.
 I agree with Aloe.

[Aloe]

it is very funny how you have accused 2 native speakers of lack of comprehension of their native language so far. Of course nobody here could compare with your ability to comprehend and speak russian, you are the god jooky, lets all bow to his superiority. Seriously.

[Faux Pas]

We (natives) are wasting our time here.
 I agree with Aloe.

I agree with Jooky....so where does that leave us?   

[GQBlues]

Reference to husband leaving town and hottub, appears more as an invite to come over with friends to get drunk with her while he's away  

Yep. What else can someone living in Madison, Green Bay, anywhere Wisconsin offer their friends living in Chicago as an incentive to come and visit them....

One plausible explanation of the word hot tub:

Barely sober Dima with a perpetual hard-on: Hhhmmm...come over to your place? What's there to do?
Alleged whoring wife who happens to be Russian: "Hot Tub(e)"

Somewhere below is a 'smiley'. The damning evidence Exhibit #69.~ ' Let the salivating jury take note of the 'smiley', which makes the defendant guilty of being a whore beyond the shadow of doubt' ~

Then of course there's that waterpark she mentioned, Evidence #96, another offering. Little did she know, all she really had to offer sober Dima was two bottles of acetone.

She got on the bus to visit her friends living in Chicago. She went to buy a nice dress and they went out for the night. Probably went to dinner, then dancing and was having such a great time and she started drinking way too much. By 2 AM, she was too drunk and would be too dangerous to be on the bus by herself and go back home to It'sboringhere, Wisconsin.

She called 'very secured' hubby and to tell him and was told they'll be driving her home in the morning instead.

But the reality is ~ I'd take the OP's version over mine anyday. Until then, that's my take. In the meantime...I believe the OP indeed over-reacted....just like the old farts are doing here.

[Doll]

it is very funny how you have accused 2 native speakers of lack of comprehension of their native language so far. Of course nobody here could compare with your ability to comprehend and speak russian, you are the god jooky, lets all bow to his superiority. Seriously.

More than two natives, Aloe

[Doll]

You're crazy,GQBlues ! 

[Jooky]

Aloe, again, I disagree. I haven't made any assumptions that weren't based on the conversation or the situation as related by the original poster.

If you truly feel it is unreasonable to assume anything outside of this conversation, why do you assume that this woman is not cheating? Why do you make assumptions about her being stuck in a small village and missing Russian friends? She didn't state these things in conversation one way or another. Those are assumptions based on your experience. I think they are valid and useful assumptions, but they are still your assumptions.

Maybe you should follow your own advice. I don't need to because I disagree with it.  

Aloe, regarding your sarcasm, as I stated above, my friend from Moscow translated this chat log for me. Even without it I understood from the start that it was only one side of the conversation. You didn't. I took you a second look to figure that out. So, ok I'll accept the bows.  

This 'native speakers' versus 'non-native speakers' is a load of horse sh*. Misha's wife and my friend are also native speakers. I didn't accuse any native speakers of lack of comprehending their native language. The content of this conversation is clear. Nobody here is arguing with the translation posted above. I accused you of lack of comprehension of this conversation and situation, not the language.

[BC]

IIRC we're only seeing half the conversation here...

Just made me think about something..  what she types we see but not the responses..  I'd be willing to bet the guy is using a keylogger.. records what she types but can't record replies. All chat programs I know of log both sides of the conversation.  Many internet chatrooms that don't need a program installed also don't keep logs.  

He didn't just 'stumble' across the chat innocently.

Lets say that at least my impression of the guy just went rapidly downhill.  She hid nothing, had consent to take the trip, they got drunk, crashed, she missed the bus but found a couple of guys at the party that would drive her back home.  The OP on the other hand is snooping around while she is gone sneaking to RWD at work to find out what his stinky pinky smells like.

[Jooky]

I agree with Aloe.

Doll, you agree with Aloe that assumptions are worthless? Then, why do you assume that this woman is trapped at home with her baby, not being able to drive? There was nothing in the conversation about that. In fact the conversation implies that she is at work (she mentions taking a smoke break while there are no customers).

Look, everyone is making assumptions here based on experience. It's the nature of the boards, and it makes sense to do so. It helps people!

I stated from the beginning that this conversation is inconclusive either way. I think we need much more information from the original poster to give him any kind of advice. Do you at least agree with that?

PS: BC, my first impression of the chat was that is was saved from a keylogger as well, because there are no names listed as with a normal chat history and there is just one side of the conversation. I just don't know enough about keyloggers to say for sure (thank God).

[Aloe]

If you truly feel it is unreasonable to assume anything outside of this conversation, why do you assume that this woman is not cheating? Why do you make assumptions about her being stuck in a small village and missing Russian friends? She didn't state these things in conversation one way or another. Those are assumptions based on your experience. I think they are valid and useful assumptions, but they are still your assumptions.

that wasnt an assumption, all im giving since the beginning of the topic is examples of what could be going on, to show that not everything is so simple

[Aloe]

i think its fake or not from skype, because when you copy paste from skype logs it looks like this:
[19-Aug-09 16:25:45] Name says: yea
So if he edited out the name, i dont think he would edit the times to look that way

if it was keylogger, does it mean she told herself to go to hell? The phrase was definitely addressed to a girl: "poshla ty na...".