Age Disparity: Once more into the breach :)

[ambach123]

Remi, I am not 37 and I don't do it.
It is not about you or me; it is a fact of life, and very common at EM and other websites. I have no opinions for or against this, I state it as a matter of fact.

Whether a 37 year old AM can do this in USA, I don't think so.

For the most part AW are not promiscous. For AW, average lifetime partners, the number is four. (For men is it 7).

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19374216/

[KenC]

Just to throw something out there; contrary to popular belief, a younger woman will make an older man feel older not younger.

So so true

Oh yeah, and Ambach's friend is a pure sex tourist and douche bag, the fact that Ambach isn't critical of him says it all really. You can tell a lot about someone by the company they keep...

Also, so so true.
KenC

[Misha]

For sure these young hotties will rock your world in the sack and won't you be the envy of all your buds at the country club?  Let us not forget the side benefit of showing the ol ex wifey/ex gf just how hot a woman you REALLY can attract.  

With the added risk that the ex and all those who were envious will be more than happy to gloat if something does go wrong.

[BrightDawn]

Remi, I am not 37 and I don't do it.
It is not about you or me; it is a fact of life, and very common at EM and other websites. I have no opinions for or against this, I state it as a matter of fact.

Whether a 37 year old AM can do this in USA, I don't think so.

For the most part AW are not promiscous. For AW, average lifetime partners, the number is four. (For men is it 7).

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19374216/

Checking the poll results offered as a link on that article 66% of men and 56% of women had more than 5 partners. 51% of men more than 10 and nearly 42% of the women. CDC surveyed 6,237 people, MSN's poll over 65,000. Not sure I'd take the CDC medians as any proof of AM/AW restraint.

[tim 360]

Lovely post Jollyrats albeit a bit confusing.  Yawn, this topic has been discussed here so many times and beaten to death and it is rather simple.  Is it more of a risk to marry a girl 20-25+ years younger?... and the short answer is, "of course it is."  Then everyone gets out their calipers and tries to measure the risk in their own way, based on their own assumptions and opinions.  If a guy thinks the risk/reward quotient is worth it he will convince (rationalize) himself into taking said risk.  And he will plunge headlong into his little folly and perhaps he will have a few nice years married to a much younger wife.  I would recommend that he takes lots of photos so he can remember her when she is gone or in case he gets early Alzheimer's at 55.

I am sure insurance companies do have the actuarial tables on how few large age gap marriages do end in divorce no matter where in the world she comes from.  I'm sure Vegas would give you the odds too.  After a couple years here in our American culture she may very well want to trade-up if he is just an average guy.  Based on our culture it would be normal.

Now, it would be remiss if I did not mention the money thing.  Women do like to feather their nest with money, the more the better. And I don't blame them at all.  If the guy has absolute scads of money. like multi-millions or/and is very accomplished  and unusually charming or even a tiny little bit of celebrity then his risk can be less than for an average guy.  Less risky.

I do know AM who have married AW 20-25 years younger and stayed married for a very long time, like over 20 years.  But these are the guys with scads of money and charm. 

All that said--any marriage to any woman is a big risk.  Any age!  A guy can marry a girl 1 year younger and it is still very risky.  How much more or less, who knows?  Afterall so much depends on the character of the two people.  Marriage to anyone at any age is a leap of faith no matter how you may try to control the risk.  Are you feelin' lucky?  Take the leap.

[Gator]

I'm going to take heat from you guys. No doubt about it. I've read enough posts to see that

Usually the age gap threads start AFTER an old goat posts his plans to wed a young RW hottie.  In contrast you post after the thread is started. 

I think TG is partially right, "most are going to do what they want no matter what any of us say".

Nothing 'partially right' about TG's point.  Your mind is clearly made up and you are rationalizing your decision.

I don't look my age! hahaha (hoists foam flame suppressor canister on back and grins)

I believe you.  You give no reason to make me think that you are the lone exception who does look his age.   

[Gator]

I have a friend, an Irish American, decent looking guy, he is 37 years old, he has been on EM for two years. The women there flock to him.

Every two months he picks one of them and spends one week banging them.  He has no intention of every marrying any of them...

Ambach, the start of your autobiography?  Do you know that referring to yourself in the third person could be a sign of psychosis.  Please have yourself checked out.

[Gator]

Just to throw something out there; contrary to popular belief, a younger woman will make an older man feel older not younger.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.  The largest extremes come with my wife's kids, who make me feel young, then old when they have worn me out.  If they were grandkids, I could send them home to their parents.  However, in this case, they are home.  There is no shelter.

[ambach123]

Gator, I am not 37, I wish I was, I can hardly get a positive response to my EOI. (About 20%) As opposed to my friend who does not need to send EOI, women send him EOI.
But then again, if I was 37 I would not be looking for a RW from Russia/ Ukraine. There are gazillions of women in USA, of every shape and form, whatever your taste; even tons of available RW living in every major city.

The point is that when the RW get an EOI from a 37 year old WM, they think they have won the lottery. How incredibly naive they are, at least in this matter.

As you know we say " If it is too good to be true, often it is"; I guess the RW never heard of this.

Actually I am envious of this guy, I have to write literally hundreds of letters to find a handful who are interested, and this guy has RW lined up who are falling all over him to take off their panties.

That is the way life is.

[Gator]

Believe me, no 20 or even 30 year old hottie, no matter where she is from, is pining for a 53 year old man, unless he is rich or has a desirable passport. A woman will settle for such a man.  Can she love him?  Sure.  But it isn't the default, even if you wish to believe it is.

You could just as well say: The practicalities of living an age gap relationship are another matter. Some (On both sides) can overcome the hurdles and some can't.

While true, I think you are missing some key points.  Or at least you have never had a relationship with a woman 20-25 years younger than you. 

You are missing the point that age disparity introduces more conflicts to a marriage, serious conflicts, as if there are already not enough conflicts in any relationship.

I will not tell you “no!”  First, that would be hypocritical.  Second, you are going anyway.  Instead, I need to write some guidelines for your journey to find young flesh.  I'll be back shortly.

[Gator]

Gator, I am not 37, I wish I was, I can hardly get a positive response to my EOI. (About 20%)

You are showing some frankness and humility.  Good!

As opposed to my friend who does not need to send EOI, women send him EOI.

Solid proof that RW really do not want a much older guy.

Actually I am envious of this guy...

Why?  How do you know that you would be happy with any of these women.  As has been said many times, keep looking because there is that special someone out there. 

From my experience, it seems that in the FSU, there are 10 "special someones."  Isn't it time to take the best of whom you have met and see how far that relationship can progress and how much you can can accomodate?

[/quote]

[BrightDawn]

Usually the age gap threads start AFTER an old goat posts his plans to wed a young RW hottie.  In contrast you post after the thread is started. 
 

Nothing 'partially right' about TG's point.  Your mind is clearly made up and you are rationalizing your decision.

I believe you.  You give no reason to make me think that you are the lone exception who does look his age.   

Lone exception. Haha. That was a joke about not looking my age. As far as my mind being made up, yes. I'd say my mind is made up to see if a solid relationship can develop when I go to see this lady I've been writing for 3 months. If not, then I'm going to ground to meet ladies over there. Age is not the primary factor, but attraction is a must. I'd be happy to find a 40+ yr old woman. I'm just wired a certain way in that regard. Not sure what can be done to change it. I wish it were otherwise, really I do. It'd be a whole lot simpler staying local.

I was wondering... Are there any men that decided to move to the FSU rather than bring their wife back home?

[Gator]

I'd be happy to find a 40+ yr old woman. I'm just wired a certain way in that regard. Not sure what can be done to change it. I wish it were otherwise, really I do.

Follow these guidelines to see if you are indeed wired that way or just exploring a fantasy:

1.       Be very selective about the particular young RW you choose to explore marriage.  Write a list of mandatory and preferential criteria BEFORE you meet some young RW.  Meanwhile meet some older RW to decide with which group you have a better connection.

2.   Take your time (years) to build a solid relationship before deciding about marriage.

3.   Be certain that the two of you resolve conflicts quickly and productively  (age disparity introduces more conflicts, serious conflicts, as if there are already not enough conflicts in any marriage).

4.   Look for signs of passion (not compassion  ). 

5.   Make sure that your goals are aligned.  Having kids is one of these.  Another of these is a plan to make her financially independent so that she has no worries for her life after you kick the bucket; you don’t want her thinking, “Oh my God, when he dies I will have little money and meanwhile I am wasting my youth on him.”  Or worse, "He'll never die and he is spending my money on fancy orbit wheelchairs."

6.   Learn if you have the confidence to deal with the open attention she receives from men who think she is your daughter.

7.   Learn if you trust her, really trust her.  She will want to pursue some interests that you may not like (women change so she may not know about these new interests when you marry).  Can you let her fly alone from your gilded bird cage?  (see Muddy posts on what not to do)

8.   Make sure that you have fun together, especially fun when doing nothing special.

9.   Ask what is unique about yourself that deserves the affection of such a young woman.

10.   Ask what is unique about her that makes her do what almost all of her peers would never consider doing.

[Gator]

I was wondering... Are there any men that decided to move to the FSU rather than bring their wife back home?

Many men have wondered like you.  A few have actually done it (or doing it today).  I would think the more successful men did it with the objective of embracing his woman's culture as opposed to becoming more sure about his wife.

[Daveman]

Many men have wondered like you.  A few have actually done it (or doing it today).  I would think the more successful men did it with the objective of embracing his woman's culture as opposed to becoming more sure about his wife.

My intention is still to do exactly that for a two year stint sometime in the near future, i.e., if I can find a way/contact to circumvent the newly enforced 90 in 180 day rule.  That kinda threw a damper on the resident thingie for those not already there.

[I/O]

a younger woman will make an older man feel older not younger.

Ain't that the truth.

[JR]

I realized my original post would be confusing to most everyone but me. And it succeeds in confusing me also.

But the point is that if the sign at the beach warning of shark infested waters is washed away do you not post another?

[JR]

Quoted from BrightDawn:
Is it the difference in "values" between AW and RW that make the difference? I find this somewhat unconvincing. I've seen a definite difference in emphasis on home/family over career in RW vs AW. It doesn't seem to be "PR". But what 40+ yr old woman is worrying about raising a family? They either have one or they don't. Most older AW have grown kids, they're at a stage in life where they are ready to hmmm, how to characterize it... "enjoy life" now that they've raised their family, play with the grand-kids, travel, and such. And many older AW are very family oriented - involved in their grown children's lives in various ways. It's just not "your family".
End Quote.


This is exactly what I have seen too.

[Shadow]

My intention is still to do exactly that for a two year stint sometime in the near future, i.e., if I can find a way/contact to circumvent the newly enforced 90 in 180 day rule.  That kinda threw a damper on the resident thingie for those not already there.

There are ways to circumvent them. However you would need connections.
Without that, it will be hard.

[Mars]

For sure these young hotties will rock your world in the sack

I haven't been in sack with young hottie since I, myself, was a young hottie.

But now that I am in sack with ladies of 35 + in age, I can state without a doubt that they are much better in the sack than the previous young hotties I was with.

[Mars]

Just to throw something out there; contrary to popular belief, a younger woman will make an older man feel older not younger.

I disagree with this statement.  Since I have started being with women substantially younger than myself, I have kept much better care of myself in terms of diet, exercise, etc.  As a result, I do feel much more energetic than other men my age who are with women closer to their own age.  Not to say I think I am somehow younger, but I feel and think much younger than I did 10 years ago.

[I/O]

I disagree with this statement.  Since I have started being with women substantially younger than myself, I have kept much better care of myself in terms of diet, exercise, etc.  As a result, I do feel much more energetic than other men my age who are with women closer to their own age.  Not to say I think I am somehow younger, but I feel and think much younger than I did 10 years ago.

Contradictory? If you didn't feel older once with younger women, why the program to make yourself younger? BTW, IMO it magnifies rather than fades in a longer term relationship such as marriage which is a very different picture from feeling like you are "cock of the walk" whilst bedding a variety of young flesh.

[philb]

My intention is still to do exactly that for a two year stint sometime in the near future, i.e., if I can find a way/contact to circumvent the newly enforced 90 in 180 day rule.  That kinda threw a damper on the resident thingie for those not already there.

If I am not mistaken you can "circumvent" this pretty easily, you just have to get a visa.  US citizens can still get a visa and in fact are required to if they plan on staying in Ukraine longer than 90 days.  I currently have a 5 yr multi entry visa.

http://www.ukrainesf.com/

[ECOCKS]

Lone exception. Haha. That was a joke about not looking my age. As far as my mind being made up, yes. I'd say my mind is made up to see if a solid relationship can develop when I go to see this lady I've been writing for 3 months. If not, then I'm going to ground to meet ladies over there. Age is not the primary factor, but attraction is a must. I'd be happy to find a 40+ yr old woman. I'm just wired a certain way in that regard. Not sure what can be done to change it. I wish it were otherwise, really I do. It'd be a whole lot simpler staying local.

I was wondering... Are there any men that decided to move to the FSU rather than bring their wife back home?

I did. We would still be there except for an illness in the family.

It has complicated things immensely but generally all concerned are happier now than when we lived in Ukraine.

As for the visas, there are people who are getting the forms filled in, the paperwork filed and doing things legally. If you want to live and work over there, it's possible. Being idle over there is a bit more challenging but doable.

[Ade]

Contradictory? If you didn't feel older once with younger women, why the program to make yourself younger? BTW, IMO it magnifies rather than fades in a longer term relationship such as marriage which is a very different picture from feeling like you are "cock of the walk" whilst bedding a variety of young flesh.

I agree wholeheartedly and I'll add that physical fitness is just one facet; for instance, no matter how young you think your mental age is or how old you think your partner's is, once the age difference exceeds 10 years, you'll start to realize how old you really are in comparison. And of course, the greater the age disparity and the younger she is, the more extreme this becomes.

So, if guys are doing this in some vain attempt to recapture their youth, they are pissing into the wind and all they will succeed in doing is reinforcing how bloody old they really are.

I say this from a position of extreme immaturity and a 13 year age disparity with my wife.