A woman of your age

[Misha]

I'd guess that plenty of older men come to this realization once their sweet young fiancees arrive and they realize it's not all a bed of roses.

Here is one case that was featured in the Globe and Mail: http://v1.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090430.wlmarriage30art1743/BNStory/lifeFamily/.

In this article entitled "I do ... and I'm gone" writes as to how "Many Canadians who sponsor a foreign spouse find themselves jilted and on the hook financially - sometimes within a few weeks." Interestingly, they are not talking about jilted men, but jilted women.

An excerpt from the article:

"Cindy Green met her husband in the lobby of a Dominican Republic hotel: She was on vacation, he was on shift. There was chemistry, and the two would go dancing at a local discotheque. Ms. Green, a Toronto child-care worker, returned home single but soon racked up a hefty Visa bill, visiting the man every three months. After 19 months of long-distance dating, they wed in October, 2004, in the Dominican.

He landed in Toronto that December, securing permanent-resident status, as well as a social-insurance number and a health card through his marriage.

Shortly after he got his cards, Ms. Green says, her husband started picking fights. She wrote it off as an adjustment phase. He was experiencing his first Canadian winter, after all. But after she refused to send money to a family minding his apartment in the Dominican, her husband grew abnormally angry.

Several days later, he disappeared."

All the other jilted Canadians featured in the article are also women. So, it does happen...

[groovlstk]

Also from Misha's article:

"As in other cases, Ms. Towell's claim that her husband committed marriage fraud was more difficult to prove. Mr. Soumah insists he married Ms. Towell in good faith, but that the relationship disintegrated after she became controlling."

Sound familiar?

It's interesting how the public perceives these cases. For men who marry beautiful women half their age, there is little or no sympathy when they get taken to the cleaners.

I've noticed whenever there's an article about women who travel to the Caribbean on sex tours, there's rarely any negative analysis - usually the focus is directly on the women and their needs, who are portrayed as lonely and sad but lauded for seeking empowerment (one of the worst words to ever enter the public vernacular, BTW) and fulfillment.  

[Misha]

Sound familiar?

And what do they seek? Of course, the deportation of the men that dumped them: "Now, defrauded sponsors are fighting back. Canadians Against Immigration Fraud recently set in motion a federal class-action suit: They want errant spouses stripped of permanent-residence status and deported within a reasonable amount of time."

[RussianWind]

You must have had extensive face time and relationships with Western men, and traveled quite often to the west to be so confident in your insight.

Yep. Watching international dating tendencies for ten years so far, was invited as an interpreter at some occasions. I don't count my trips actually, changing now my third passport  Been only to England 10+ times and will do more. At my own expenses by the way 

I am successful & independent. I see you take it as a big minus. Sorry I am not a poor desperate Cinderella 

Gentlemen, don't take this thread to personally. The question popped up after looking through some pro-Russian sites. This is just a disappointing fact.

[Bitter-Sweet]

Шел, поскользнулся, упал, закрытый перелом, очнулся- гипс 

Almost. You never know what's going to happen next... 

[Misha]

Gentlemen, don't take this thread to personally.

I don't. As noted in other threads, my wife is 10 years younger than I am. It is a nice balance. She is the type of woman that I would have wanted to date in my city, but could not find. But, our age difference is not overbearing. We have, what I consider, a pretty normal marriage. She is not for me because of money (she has a lot more money that I do  :evil:) and we have the shared goal of being a family and truly want to do the death-till-you-part scenario. The challenge is being realistic.

[Daveman]

I am successful & independent. I see you take it as a big minus. Sorry I am not a poor desperate Cinderella 

All that is great and everything, but I'm still excited that you said boobs!  

Gentlemen, don't take this thread to personally. The question popped up after looking through some pro-Russian sites. This is just a disappointing fact.

For a while I had set a bottom limit of 8 years younger in my search. Had some excellent and interesting correspondence but it didn't really go anywhere.  It really seemed that ladies nearer to my age just weren't as interested in me as those about age 35.  Strangely enough, that's just about the same age which has the most interest in me here in the states as well.  Possibly my imagination superimposing itself on my thought process, but that really does seem to be the case.  Now, take a close look at my avatar, and brace yourself for this next one.. I actually had an RW, 43 years old, whom I *really* liked a LOT break down our communication with "you are too handsome.. blah blah blah". WTF? Now, I know I'm not Quasimodo, but good lord, that's the most stupid thing I've ever heard from a woman's mouth.  There seem to be some serious insecurities within the FSU dating pool as well as the fantasy chasers on the male side.  

[Sculpto]

 There seem to be some serious insecurities within the FSU dating pool as well as the fantasy chasers on the male side.  

An average looking woman in the FSU is a goddess in America.  So yeah, you are right.. a lot of ladies get used and abused by local men, or have friends that have been.  Trust level is low and is IMO the hardest hill to climb as a WM. 

Who cares about age.. if you click you click.. end of story.  If I clicked with a woman my age it would have been fine.. but.. every time I got into correspondence I found them either wanting to "let go and be taken care of" or, with an equally long list of unrealistic expectations that I am accustomed to with the shrews locally.  My much younger lady is a lot more open minded and wanted someone who will listen to her, love her and support her career aspirations.  Much easier to deal with for me than someone who has a chip on her shoulder or no ambition.

[groovlstk]

Who cares about age.. if you click you click.. end of story. 

It's not really "end of story" because problems in your marriage due to the age gap WILL be an issue. This is a completely different issue than public perception of large age gaps of course, but it's a huge consideration.

[remiel6]

The age gap does not create the problems, but how the couple reacts to the age gap does. It is their expectations and reactions to the situations they find themselves in that create the problem. An age gap can rear its head in certain disputes that is really true, but nothing becomes a problem all by itself. If the age gap were the "cause" of the problem then all marriages with ages gaps would fail. This assertion is clearly false. it does not fail "because" of the age gap. It fails because of how they react to the age gap over time. honesty with oneself and ones partner is vital in any discouse. If a man chases women 30 years younger in order to feel younger himself then his whole search may be tainted by his inability to come to the realization that he is not 20 anymore. The failure is inevitable not because of the age, but because of how he and his young "hottie" react to the age.

[Misha]

If I clicked with a woman my age it would have been fine.. but..

Fascinating how there is always a "but" inserted  :evil:

[RussianWind]

It's not really "end of story" because problems in your marriage due to the age gap WILL be an issue.

 

Gentlemen, ready to discuss about sex issue? 

[groovlstk]

If the age gap were the "cause" of the problem then all marriages with ages gaps would fail.

Why would you assume that such a problem would cause all marriages to fail?  All married couples confront issues on a regular basis, most are dealt with or ignored, others can never be resolved and periodically resurface (and again, some couples deal with such recurring issues without divorcing), others have the force to end everything very quickly. 

This assertion is clearly false. it does not fail "because" of the age gap.

LOL, next time someone shows up here asking for divorce advice, tell him to tell the judge that it wasn't the infidelity or the empty bank account, it was just the PERCEPTION of those details that caused problems.

[Doll]

Almost. You never know what's going to happen next... 

Золото- бриллианты 

[Misha]

Gentlemen, ready to discuss about sex issue? 

Sure. But, I will let you begin. What is your take on the sex issue?

[RussianWind]

Sure. But, I will let you begin. What is your take on the sex issue?

I am nymphomaniac. Next question 

[Misha]

I am nymphomaniac. Next question 

LOL! Ah yes, so you will be attracted to young men who are capable of much more frequent intercourse  :evil:

[RussianWind]

LOL! Ah yes, so you will be attracted to young men who are capable of much more frequent intercourse  :evil:

I actually think that inspiration is more important than simple frequency  

[Misha]

I actually think that inspiration is more important than simple frequency  

Ah, but at least it is easier to argue physiologically that younger men are more capable when it comes to frequency, while inspiration becomes more of a qualitative judgment.

[JR]

Reading this board is quite depressing at times. Have anybody ever considered to marry a woman of your own age, not like -15-20 years  ???

The only impression I get here is that older men are chasing young chicks and this is the main target.

I can only speak factually for myself but what comes to surface after all the BS is blown away is this general statement: The men who go to the FSU are looking for youger, prettier women than they can attract in their native countries.

This is the dominant, driving force behind the phenomon of international dating. So it stands to reason that the men here and elsewhere you come into contact with will by and large be of this mind-set.

When in my late twenties I dated a lady who was eleven years older than me. I married RW who was ten years younger than me. I should have married the older woman So maybe I am stupid for looking to the FSU again...

Now Russian Wind has said BOOBS and SEX ! ! ! !

[RussianWind]

Ah, but at least it is easier to argue physiologically that younger men are more capable when it comes to frequency, while inspiration becomes more of a qualitative judgment.

That's why my choice is the golden mean  

[Misha]

That's why my choice is the golden mean  

And, your choice being?

Of course, I would add that each woman trains her man when it comes to sex  :evil: Eventually, your golden mean will become your partner's golden mean as well 

[Boethius]

Also from Misha's article:

"As in other cases, Ms. Towell's claim that her husband committed marriage fraud was more difficult to prove. Mr. Soumah insists he married Ms. Towell in good faith, but that the relationship disintegrated after she became controlling."

Sound familiar?

It's interesting how the public perceives these cases. For men who marry beautiful women half their age, there is little or no sympathy when they get taken to the cleaners.

I've noticed whenever there's an article about women who travel to the Caribbean on sex tours, there's rarely any negative analysis - usually the focus is directly on the women and their needs, who are portrayed as lonely and sad but lauded for seeking empowerment (one of the worst words to ever enter the public vernacular, BTW) and fulfillment.  

Elaine Towell was 32 when she met her husband, and she lived off and on in his country for a long time.  She is a dancer, he is a drummer, and they toured Africa together before they married.  I also think they were close in age, though he was slightly younger.

Canada's IRB found him guilty of marriage fraud, and ordered him deported, but he is appealing the decision.

In the other story described, there was no reference to ages. 

Also, just as many men as women are part of the class action lawsuit on marriage fraud. 


Most of the articles I've read which are critical of male sex tourists focus on pedophilia.  Female sex tourists are rarely pedophiles.  That being said, I think both male and female sex tourism is wrong.  I don't really think it's about sex, as that could be purchased on home turf.  It is about power.

[RussianWind]

And, your choice being?

Does your wife know that you ask me such nasty questions? 

Of course, I would add that each woman trains her man when it comes to sex  :evil:

Yes, I normally tie them and leave in the basement untill they agree to have more sex.

Gentlemen I need to leave you for few days. Some of my prisoners require attention. Kiss ya all 

[Misha]

Does your wife know that you ask me such nasty questions? 

Call it research into the deep dark recesses of the female psyche