Thanks-
In this case both people knew we wern't a good match ,but that dint change how we felt about each other and hoped love would conquer all,
or that ,long term, life and experience would simply change our goals and outlooks ,as it often does??
and they would be ,more in alignment "naturally" in time.
also -you can like things about another person,, and not want them to change,yet these very things may not be a good a match for you.
(as example: my ex absolutely loved (loves) the part of me that is very down to earth,and would never want me to change! but it conflicts directly with her perspective on goals in life and life outlooks,,a affinity for status and "station" in life)
On my part- I hoped she'd mature past some particular *pie in the sky* dreams , or at least realize that having the dream is ok,but holding on to them too tightly can effect your reality and is eventually detrimental to yourself and others,,,
on her part she hoped that i would find those ideals more appealing in time,and perhaps share them..
This is about both big and small things in life.
So this was more a situation of both people loving someone that mutually is not a good match for them long term.
I could call her and she would likely come back tomorrow, but we both know it isn't the best for her , or for me,and that eventually we'd be back at this same juncture.
We have both moved forward..
As i stated initially , i don't regret anything ,and we both went into the marriage with eyes wide open,
and knew the differences and challenges we would face over them.
We still respect each other and remain friends.
I still feel our actual differences were driven far more by personalities than culture.(although there is some smala amount to that)
language was never a barrier.. she adapted here quickly and already drove well,so jumped right into life here.
and as unfortunate or jaded as it is to say ..
I'd estimate 80% of my friends have or had mediocre or worse marriages ,that most did not last as long or only slightly longer.
most people in either country in this age group have, doesn't say much for either culture...
I'm a ray of sunshine today !!
