Life Changes...Part Deux

[Faux Pas]

Perhaps it is not a book or a movie FP, but many of the relationships I have had in my life and many I have seen talked about on RWD have a surpise ending.   Surprise endings are the norm.  Endings without a surprise are the unusual thing.

Then you prepare to be surprised, I won't be regardless of the ending. After Billy's build up and preface to this relationship, should it  go South, do you honestly believe he'll come back to proclaim the naysayers here were right? I don't, his ego is much too big for that.

I can even look at my own marriage and really belive it "surprised" a lot of people that we ended up being very happy and with a wonderful marriage.

TG, do you really see parallels in Billy's relationship with a teenager and your marriage?

[Steamer]

I can even look at my own marriage and really belive it "surprised" a lot of people that we ended up being very happy and with a wonderful marriage.

Totally agree.

[Turboguy]

Then you prepare to be surprised, I won't be regardless of the ending. After Billy's build up and preface to this relationship, should it  go South, do you honestly believe he'll come back to proclaim the naysayers here were right? I don't, his ego is much too big for that.

I don't know.  Some guys such as KenC were man enough to talk about things when they went south.  I have seen more however who just disappear when disaster strikes.  When things went south with his first fiancee Billy talked about it.  I hope if it doesn't work out that he does tell us about it.  Personally I will be disappointed if I hear it doesn't work out and I wish them both the best of luck and a happy life together.  I certainly will feel bad for them if it doesn't.

TG, do you really see parallels in Billy's relationship with a teenager and your marriage?

Not a direct paralell but we do have more age difference than Billy does.  There seems to be two issues the biggest being the fact that she is very young.  I don't see a paralell there.  My wife was mature enough to know what she wanted and very likely had I met her when she was the age of A it would have been an entirely different situation. 

I am just not that convinced that all woman the age of A are not ready to settle down and not mature enough to make a lifetime committment and stick with it.  Personally I think the world is full of women who married at a young age and stayed married until one of them croaked.  I just don't see it as being as much of a doomsday scenario as some of the others do.

[TomT]

Personally I think the world is full of women who married at a young age and stayed married until one of them croaked.

In the previous century, perhaps. It's been my observation that contemporary girls seem to be far less willing to tolerate a (perceived) bad situation than their mothers and grandmothers were.

[Faux Pas]

I don't know.  Some guys such as KenC were man enough to talk about things when they went south.  I have seen more however who just disappear when disaster strikes.  When things went south with his first fiancee Billy talked about it.  I hope if it doesn't work out that he does tell us about it.  Personally I will be disappointed if I hear it doesn't work out and I wish them both the best of luck and a happy life together.  I certainly will feel bad for them if it doesn't.

I don't wish them any bad luck and I don't believe most of the other naysayers do either. Quite the opposite, I wish them all the good luck in the world. Conventional wisdom dictates they will need all they can get. KenC's situation is could be or not, a good comparison. We have no way of knowing that at this point. According to KenC both he and his wife were earnestly in love and even with that "hit the wall" where neither were the same people of 10 years earlier. Was their marriage a success? I would say so. If it were only five years before hitting the wall, quite likely still a success.

Not a direct paralell but we do have more age difference than Billy does.  There seems to be two issues the biggest being the fact that she is very young.  I don't see a paralell there.  My wife was mature enough to know what she wanted and very likely had I met her when she was the age of A it would have been an entirely different situation. 

I am just not that convinced that all woman the age of A are not ready to settle down and not mature enough to make a lifetime committment and stick with it.  Personally I think the world is full of women who married at a young age and stayed married until one of them croaked.  I just don't see it as being as much of a doomsday scenario as some of the others do.

Turbo, this isn't about age gap or age differences. I am on record dozens of times stating age or the gaps is of little consequence in deciding of whether two people can love each other or have a successful marriage. I do believe that. Brass tacks here is, Billy marrying a teenager. If he were 10-15 years younger it would still be the same issue. Add to the mix a mother who supposedly promotes such a marriage and Billy's idea that he is superman and can foresee the future is a toxic combination (mostly for Billy). He's thinking with his penis and it has convinced him it's right.

I don't have a dog in this hunt and quite frankly it doesn't matter to me one way or the other if they do go out in wedded bliss and live happily ever after. I hope they do but, I'll refrain from the backslapping celebratory cigar smoking at least for the sake of the newbies and onlookers. All of Billy's bravado and verbal masturbation does need to be exposed as what it is, just that bravado. We had an old saying when I was growing up, "when the tailgate drops, the bullsh!t stops"

[Turboguy]

In the previous century, perhaps. It's been my observation that contemporary girls seem to be far less willing to tolerate a (perceived) bad situation than their mothers and grandmothers were.

I think there is some truth in that Tom.  I think way back when people got married and said "until death do us part", they meant it.  These days I think people see so much divorce that it is more accepted.  When I grew up in the stone age I hardly knew anyone that was divorced and most all the kids I had for friends had a traditonal family.  The world has changed.  I am sure some suffered in bad marriages their whole life and I also think some people get divorced for little reason and really would have been better to work it out so there is both good and bad in it.

[Turboguy]

FP, if you were able to show me some statistics that 99% of women who marry at 18 or 19 get divorced I would be more of a believer.  I do think the rate is probably higher but I also think a lot of people do stay married.

I agree, I consider KenC's marriage to be more of a success than a failure.  It's too bad it could not have lasted forever but still they had a lot of good years.

[Wayne]

If I remember correctly, in KenC's situation, when Lena was young she said she did not want to have any children. When she got older, she changed her mind. If KenC was willing to have at least one child, perhaps they would still be together.

Now Billy has not said anything about having children with his soon to be wife. They already have different religions. I wonder if they have really discussed some of the more important issues?

[tim 360]

In the previous century, perhaps. It's been my observation that contemporary girls seem to be far less willing to tolerate a (perceived) bad situation than their mothers and grandmothers were.

Very true.  In my grandmothers and mothers times it was a negative stigma to be divorced especially for women.  Today, seems it is just a rite of passage and most do get divorced...sooner or later.

[BillyB]

A asked me to buy her a kitten when she's with me. I agreed but I told her I don't give animals much attention and that is why I don't have any except some fish in an aquarium. I think the kitten will keep her busy when I'm at work so she doesn't get too bored. When she gets a drivers license, she'll be free to get out of the house but until then, we have to find ways to keep her from being bored.

The avoidence of answering this question of her age at the time you first started correspondence is troubling to say the least.

Did you understand clearly what I've been saying to Kuna and him making up things? Why are you buying what he's saying and not what I've been saying? I don't need to answer him. I'm not avoiding anything. If people would read, they would know the age of A when I contacted her. Why are you worried? I'm not. A's not. Mom's not. Read my mini trip report in this thread starting on page 14 and post # 335. Until Kuna proves he's not messing around with his words, I'm not giving him or you answers to his questions.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11638.325

i've seen equal or more *wound up* threads on a ford or chevy forum over which oil viscosity to use.

Yeah but do those guys go searching through thousands of posts for dirt or misspelled words to take someone down as BC and Kuna has done with me? I could think of more productive things to do.

It's good that RW get to see the colorful personalities and characters of the men here. If you want to see a person at their worst, watch them when someone breaks up with them. Does a woman really want to marry a man that will bring out the dirty laundry and continue to damage her if she decides to leave the marriage?

Some guys are okay with what I'm writing. Some guys such as TomT have enough class to praise some of my words although I've been hard on him recently. The funny thing is people thought Tom wrote those words so they complimented him when they wouldn't me if they knew I wrote them. Is what I write always wrong but right if another person wrote it? It shouldn't matter who wrote that. It's either right or wrong. Some guys get angry at what I'm writing and other guys such as dbneeley will tell me in every post of his that he's not learning anything from this thread yet he keeps reading. I'm learning a lot from the men here and they are more emotionally sensitive than the average RW.

you are delivering this as a "how to".

I'm not telling people “how to” I'm showing people how to get it done. I can do this over and over again. I know how to build friendships, relationships and get women to want to marry me. It all starts with me and is one reason I'm telling some guys out there to improve themselves, change their attitude and methods on how to seek and identify good women. Some men think they can just go to the FSU and a woman will fall in love with them but the truth is they are a nobody who just showed up. With little correspondence and phone calls he's a stranger to whoever he meets. Most men will gamble $3000+ for a first date with women when a few phone calls could tell everything. If she doesn't enjoy talking to you on the phone, she'll probably not enjoy talking to you in real life. Even if a guy finds a woman that marry him, he probably wouldn't know if she's really into or just settled for him because the right guy didn't come along.

I also think some just see small discrepancies in your words and naturally give you grief

as small example:
 in a post above you stated A comes from a long line of women who don't divorce.
Yet her mother is obviously divorced as you have stated this.

since my mother and father were divorced , i could hardly claim to come from a *long line* of  men or women who do not divorce.

but  it's just as example of non attention to detail in your story..
that i think posters will point out..

does that make my frustrated or wound up?

heavens no billy,
it just one of a few things you say that make me go "hmmm"

You are upset I'm not making things clear yet it's your fault. Read this thread and you will understand clearly what I'm saying. A's mom and dad isn't divorced. Just because they're separated doesn't mean they're divorced. Even if they were divorced, it doesn't mean mom initiated it. A comes from a long line of women that don't divorce their husbands. I can't make it anymore simpler that that for comprehension purposes.

What could you possibly have in common with this girl......................

Read

Billy, you have made some preposterous statements.  This one takes first prize.  

Do you like putting on the apron and doing dishes and laundry half the time? Do you like to keep score and figure out who's turn it is? I went over this with Seeker and Misha earlier in the thread and explained my position on this but nobody wants to read. Some women want a man like me and if they adore and respect their husbands, they'll do all the housework. My responsibilities are to bring home the money, and fix the house car and take care of the yard and garbage. I'm not working at McDonalds flipping burgers. I'm running a business so my time is more valuable elsewhere than to think about what to cook for dinner and folding clothes.

I don't like equal rights relationships because there is no such thing. Usually its the woman that keeps score and figure out what's fair and if you don't do your fair share, you will hear about it. With A and I, we know our responsibilities and there will be no question who failed if certain tasks aren't performed.

When you need medical attention, do you prefer the doctor, nurse and janitor to rotate the responsibility  or do you want the best guy on the job to do it? A and I believe a woman and man's strengths should be used which compliment each other's weakness.

Personally I am not so sure the ending will be

In the end I will be happy.  That is a guarantee.

Now Billy has not said anything about having children with his soon to be wife.

I've mentioned it earlier in this thread numerous times.

They already have different religions.

Where did you read that? I've said we're both Christians numerous times.

I wonder if they have really discussed some of the more important issues?

We've talked about husband and wife's roles before we met, during our time together and occasionally after we met. We've even talked about sex and how much I'm going to desire her. There's no surprises.  I guarantee we're talking about life and future more than most men and women do. If she can't handle my views, she shouldn't be marrying me. The important thing is that she embraces my views on how marriage is supposed to work. I know there are certain issues many of you men may not bring up because you feel you'd scare away your lady. Bring them up. If she needs to leave you now, it's better than later. You may also be surprised she supports your views and when you speak as a leader instead of a “yes” man.

I'm not directing this at you Wayne but at a lot of guys here. There seems to be a lot of reading comprehension issues and misinformation put out by guys who don't like me. I can't answer you all and I can't repeat myself a hundred times but I have to in some situations because if I don't answer a question, you will think I have something to hide just as Donhollio suggested.. Just read. If you can't understand the words in front of your eyes, how are you going to distinguish a sincere from an insincere woman?

If any of you have major comprehension issues as you've shown here with a woman, she will probably drop you sooner or later. Sharpen your mind. It'll impress the ladies and it'll save me from typing thousands of repetitious words and I'll have more time to write about my progress with A.

[Kuna]

Come on Billy,  now you've got all the lurkers wondering where a mid-40's man goes to find a 16 yr old girl on the Internet. 

Did you start off talking about her kitty and her good housekeeping abilities and then jump straight into discussing marriage or do you find other things you have in common to chat about?

You've been very open in here about your claimed sexual prowess...  You also have told us you tell the women the way it is and they all agree with you about being sexually satisfied.  I assume you've at least TALKED to A about future sexual relations with her... when did that start... somewhere between kitty and housekeeping or was it later?

Billy,  you continually call her a woman...  was she a woman when you first found her on the Internet or did you make her into a woman?  We know you have amazing abilities...  you keep on telling us about them you stud of a man....  maybe you can create women out of girls too?

You keep on talking about "Mom" and how much she approves... how about Dad... have you met him?  What did he say to you?  What would ANY NORMAL MAN DO IF HE FOUND OUT A MID-FORTIES AMERICAN MAN WAS CHATTING UP HIS 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER ON THE INTERNET???

No wonder her mother came to supervise the dates...  the mother doesn't trust her to be mature enough to make her own decisions... and knew she was too immature to get herself out of the dangerous situation she was in....  everyone EXCEPT YOU can see this is more than a little strange.

Back to the father...  how many men here with grown daughters would be happy that a forty-something year old man was chatting to their 16 yr old daughter on the internet and proposing/considering marriage?

Weren't you talking about marriage in the beginning???  If so,  can you not see how predatory this is?  Yes you can...  but you've crafted such a thick story to cover your tracks that even you have lost touch with reality.

Sixteen Billy...  was she a woman then?

I'm not drunk mate... I hardly ever drink anymore.  I am just repulsed!  You're not a man... you're a predator.

Go on... deny it!

[Kuna]

Hey Billy,

I have some bad news for you I think...  I took up your challenge and searched back in this thread for a post where you claim that I told others you had said previously that you were poor.

The bad news is that I could find nothing like this...

I DID find this though:

Quote from: TomT on 01 April 2011, 04:57:51
There is something that I'm confused about, however. In the beginning, A. was an 18-year-old virgin. At some point along the way, she became 17 (presumbly still a virgin). When will she turn 16?

You're not alone in your confusion. Most of my critics have failed to read and now you're questioning the validity of this thread by saying I lied about A's age. If you can show I lied, I'll show you a fool. Guaranteed

All through this thread people brought up things not worth waisting my time on. Algeria. Where did I say anything about Algeria? I'm sending $2000 a month. Where did I say I was going to buy her a new wardrobe every month? I'm a poor man. I never said I was poor on this or any forum at any time. Sexual abuse. I never said I had sex with A or even touched her. What I did say is that I would never force a woman to break her principles for my selfish desire. What we have here is a failure to communicate. When I say A lived in Libya, it means Libya, not Algeria.

Soooo... I've done my best to find a post where you claim I said you had previously said that you were poor.  I can't find it...  I've gone right back through.

Maybe you confused me with something someone else said?

I think it's time YOU find the post for us otherwise you'll look like a liar, and I know a man as impressive as you never has to lie.

I'm waiting...

[Hammer2722]

Kuna, you need to relax and take a breath man. You really are starting to sound like a broken record. Yes, we all know how you feel about Billy and A. He's a predator and braggard. We heard you already. About 10 pages or so ago. You really need to not take this so personal and its quite obvious that you are.

If A's mom and A are fine with Billy marrying A, then its their decision and their lives to either fail or succeed. Not everyone can comform to your life views. If we all did this would be a very boring world indeed......

[TomT]

Yes, we all know how you feel about Billy and A. He's a predator and braggard.

"Yes, we all know your opinion of Billy: he's a predator and a braggart."

By linking the two sentences together with a colon, it is clearer that Kuna thinks that Billy is a predator, not necessarily you.

In any event, there is an issue with the word, "predator." In the context of relationships, it means a victimizer. In the case of Billy's relationship, it isn't absolutely clear who is victimizing whom, whether there is one victimizer or two or if there is any victimizer at all.

[Hammer2722]

"Yes, we all know your opinion of Billy: he's a predator and a braggart."

By linking the two sentences together with a colon, it is clearer that Kuna thinks that Billy is a predator, not necessarily you.

LOL.... Thank you so much for the grammar lesson Tom. Please feel free to check all of my future posts for proper grammar. No, really. 

[GQBlues]

A asked me to buy her a kitten when she's with me. I agreed but I told her I don't give animals much attention and that is why I don't have any except some fish in an aquarium. I think the kitten will keep her busy when I'm at work so she doesn't get too bored....

Well, BillyB, if so, I hope you would at least help support your local pet adoption centers and adopt a kitty.

Here's a good tip, try to refrain from feeding the kitty dry food. If you can't feed the kitty 'fresh meat' (ground and frozen is OK as long as you are able to grind bones well with it and add supplements). Otherwise feed the kitty 'wet' food preferably WERUVA, if not, Wellness.

[TomT]

LOL.... Thank you so much for the grammar lesson Tom. Please feel free to check all of my future posts for proper grammar. No, really.  

Imagine an FSU woman wandering into one of these forums and interacting with the men. She can't see the Mercs, the Bimmers, the palatial estates, the investment portfolios, the Armani suits, the trim abs, the chisled features, the thick hair or the heavy equipment. Her first impression arrives via his written words... and never underestimate the importance of a grammatically correct first impression.

[Maxx2]

Imagine an FSU woman wandering into one of these forums and interacting with the men. She can't see the Mercs, the Bimmers, the palatial estates, the investment portfolios, the Armani suits, the trim abs, the chisled features, the thick hair or the heavy equipment. Her first impression arrives via his written words... and never underestimate the importance of a grammatically correct first impression

U left off the period

[TomT]

Cosmic humor, I suppose...

[Daveman]

...
 I'm learning a lot from the men here and they are more emotionally sensitive than the average RW.

...

Now, shirley it hasn't taken you this long to figure THAT out..     Yeah, I know, don't call you surely...

[Ravens9273]

There should be a WARNING Label with this thread to bring your own shovel.
I almost did not make it out alive.

I completely walked in unaware of the danger.
Once my foot was in I began to sink. Next thing the panic kicked in as it got deeper and deeper.
I saw no way out.

Had it not been for Billy's massive penis to grab ahold of I might be a goner by now. 

[mies]

Come on Billy,  now you've got all the lurkers wondering where a mid-40's man goes to find a 16 yr old girl on the Internet.  

great post. agree with everything in it.


Ravens9273  
+1:
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibioqXBFZpo[/youtube]

[Hammer2722]

U left off the period

Priceless. 

[TomT]

Priceless.  

Yep, I thought so as well.

For what it's worth, Olga was frequently correcting my grammar for me (and getting great pleasure doing so). Unfortunately, she hasn't been spending much time on the boards of late and I no longer have the time to take as much care with my posts as I once did.

[tim 360]

Come on Billy,  now you've got all the lurkers wondering where a mid-40's man goes to find a 16 yr old girl on the Internet. 

Here ya go: