Life Changes...Part Deux

[Boethius]

Hmm, GOB, I have an acquaintance who is 48, no kids, in good shape, living in Vancouver.  When she tried online dating, she had the same experience with men.  Most had photos that were 10 years out of date.  One guy shaved 8 years off his age, which he confessed to on their first coffee date (and, unlike most of the men here, he did look his age ).  She didn't really care about his age, but she wouldn't date him again because of the lie.

[Boethius]

It's from Evegeny Onegin

Yes, though I think this translation is better:

The sky is clear, the earth is frozen;
the heavenly lights in glorious quire tread the calm,
settled path they've chosen...
Tatyana in low-cut attire
goes out into the courtyard spaces
and trains a mirror till it faces the moon;
but in the darkened glass
the only face to shake and pass
is a sad old moon's...
Hark! snow is creaking...
a passer-by;
and on tiptoe she flies as fast as she can go;
and "what's your name?'' she asks him,
speaking in a melodious, flute-like tone.
He looks, and answers: "Agafon.''


The stanza is about dreaming of her future groom, and the name of the passerby, to superstitious Tatiana, will be that of her groom.  "Agafon" sounds rustic, and at that time, would have been a peasant name, a sharp contrast to the image of her desired future groom.  It is comedic, though loses something in translation.

[BillyB]

 
I promised a lady, a very beautiful lady, that I'd give some updates so I will.
 
If you want to read, you must be warned. DO NOT read if your stomach gets easily upset, have a heart condition, currently pregnant, taking prescription drugs, taking illegal drugs, drunk, or afraid of Santa Claus.
 
This thread has already upset some and wowed others. People's feelings have been hurt but there is exciting moments such as when the subject of sex is brought up.
 
If you're reading for the first time, I suggest you read from the beginning so you can get an understanding how I got here. Lately there has been a lot of misinformation put out by people but the facts are as stated except when I purposely changed some info about many of the RW I've dated so that nobody here could search on Google for them. Lord knows how many of you would be looking for that RW nympho I met.
 
I'll give a more detailed report when I got more time but for now I'll say my fiancee, A, adores and respects me more than ever. She respects the way I conduct myself and appreciates how I take care of her since she left Libya during the war.
 
Here is a photo of A during Easter celebration. I usually cut mom entirely out of the photos but this one I wanted to show the Easter basket A made. She likes celebrating holidays and making them special. She tells me she will decorate our home accordingly and want our kids to have good memories.

[Turboguy]

She is a TEENAGER.
 
GOB finds it strange how many male RWD members have used words like "young woman, woman, young lady, legal now ....etc.) to describe "A".
 
I suppose the idea of a 40 something year old man courting a 16/17 yo teenager is a little uncomfortable to think about, so calling her a "young woman" (or whatever) is a little more palatable? eh? 
 
GOB

Personally I don't find the idea of a guy in his 40's engaged to a woman of 19 uncomfortable to think about at all.  As far as the terminology, yes, she is a teen ager and that word is appropriate, she is also a young woman, girl is also quite appopriate, woman is too and I have seen much older people refer to someone that age as child but technically child would be the least appropiate term. 
 
She is old enough to make her own decisions and young enough that they could be wrong ones.  Even much older people make wrong decisions.  That is what makes life interesting.  We can screw up our life when we are young, live with the errors of our ways and try to undo the damage if we can.  Life would be boring if we never made mistakes.

[Turboguy]

Great photo Billy.  I do wish you would have cut the basket out instead of Mom.  It's making me hungry.

[GoodOlBoy]

  Boethius,
I don't believe for one second that you truly believe that BillyB has any predatory intent concerning your daughter or is fixated on her.

I beg to differ Glyden.
 
Given the "political" climate today and the behavior of some creepy congressional politicians (and some RWD members), we don't know for sure what they are "fixated" on. 
 
Children need to be protected and Mother's can't be to careful nowadays.
 
GOB

[tim 360]

Thanks for the update Billy.  You sure did disappear for awhile.     The painted eggs look great, I remember when my Great grandmother and grandmother and their relatives would paint them--quite an art to it.  Around Easter dozens and dozens of eggs and 8 women spending the weekend painting them.  On the really intricate ones they would empty the egg white and yolk and the painted shell would last for many years.

[tim 360]

Personally I don't find the idea of a guy in his 40's engaged to a woman of 19 uncomfortable to think about at all.  As far as the terminology, yes, she is a teen ager and that word is appropriate, she is also a young woman, girl is also quite appopriate, woman is too and I have seen much older people refer to someone that age as child but technically child would be the least appropiate term. 
 
She is old enough to make her own decisions and young enough that they could be wrong ones.  Even much older people make wrong decisions.  That is what makes life interesting.  We can screw up our life when we are young, live with the errors of our ways and try to undo the damage if we can.  Life would be boring if we never made mistakes.

I kinda go with this, but I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she dumps him after Green Card Day since he is her ticket to the USA.  But, maybe not there are bigger age gaps.  The GOB rant is getting kinda old and silly.  Get over it GOB, she's 18 and can make her own life decisions--she's legally an adult so case closed.  Your rant is pointless.  BTW: Plenty of 15 year olds having sex here in the USA.
 
Do I think marrying an 18 year old is a good idea--duh--no.

[Ranetka]

http://www.freepersonals.ru/profile?id=402160;
 
Does this guy posts on RWD too? (hint - look at his age requirments)

[GoodOlBoy]

The GOB rant is getting kinda old and silly.

Point taken.
 

....she's legally an adult so case closed.

I am taken aback however by the moral judgement capacity of the "she's legal now" crowd. 
 
GOB

[Boethius]

BTW: Plenty of 15 year olds having sex here in the USA.

Almost always, with boys of similar age. 

When Canada revised its age of consent (from 14 to 16, because of internet predation), they studied this issue.  Well over 95% of sexually active girls were having sex with boys less than 2 years older, and a partner of similar age will not be charged if one of the parties is under the age of consent.

[Muzh]

 


Wow, it seems this issue with Billy will never go away.


The statement that teenagers will chase a 40 something man is rather laughable, but it does happen. Look at the teen throbs from TV and movies who are 40 or close to it and the following they have.


But hey, to each his own. It is okay to dream. I guess time will tell.

[Gylden]

Actually I thought it was a well known phenomenon, that young girls (teens to early 20's) often find older men attractive. Because girls will often mature faster than boys, they grow tired of the boys and often have crushes on their teachers and such. They girls are also discovering their sexuality and are testing it out so to speak (part of the learning experience). It is a period of their lives which most often they grow out of. I knew of plenty of girls with crushes on their teachers, a few of them who actually went on to marry them. However I only know of one of them where it worked out. Most respectable men know of the situation/consequences and avoided the potential embarrassments to both.
 

[ML]

Could it be that many of the males here who rant about Billy's young gal are actually jealous?

Just wondering.

Before anyone jumps here; I have strict 40 and above requirement for my gals.

[ML]

Glyden, I know of three cases (family and friends) where male teachers married their former high school students just after the gals graduated, and have great marriages.  However, in all three cases,  the guys were in their mid 20s at time of marriage.

[SMS60]

Actually I thought it was a well known phenomenon, that young girls (teens to early 20's) often find older men attractive. Because girls will often mature faster than boys, they grow tired of the boys and often have crushes on their teachers and such.

Your about half way there. You forgot to add the other half of the story.

They are a attracted to older men with some type of status or ambition. They dont give the 40 year olds with beer bellys and receding hair lines who commute daily to a dead end job the time of day.

[Faux Pas]

Could it be that many of the males here who rant about Billy's young gal are actually jealous?

Just wondering.

Before anyone jumps here; I have strict 40 and above requirement for my gals.

Maybe the bigger question is; why do you have a strict 40 and above limit? That might answer the question you asked?

[Daveman]

Point taken.
 
I am taken aback however by the moral judgement capacity of the "she's legal now" crowd. 
 
GOB

I'm not convinced she was not legal at the outset.  She had a profile listing somewhere, searching for  man for marriage with her Mom's consent and blessing (as stated before).  As far as I know, and I admit I could be mistaken, a 16 year old can marry a man of any age with parental consent.  It's the parental consent which makes the difference in the USA. 


So, how was it illegal, even if she were 16 at the time of initial contact? She's legal now, and was so then - as I understand the situation.


Morality is a different issue/question and is entirely subjective. 

[tim 360]

I'm not convinced she was not legal at the outset.  She had a profile listing somewhere, searching for  man for marriage with her Mom's consent and blessing (as stated before).  As far as I know, and I admit I could be mistaken, a 16 year old can marry a man of any age with parental consent.  It's the parental consent which makes the difference in the USA. 


So, how was it illegal, even if she were 16 at the time of initial contact? She's legal now, and was so then - as I understand the situation.


Morality is a different issue/question and is entirely subjective.

Question of "morality", now thats one for our esteemed congressmen and what a collection we have.
 
Anyway.  At 18 she is free to marry anyone she wants in nearly any country or state.  At 16 with Mom's consent she was free to marry too.  Now that we have this stupid legal age out of the way, perhaps some want to discuss their lofty morals.  Gggeeezzz.
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriageable_age

[Admin]

Wow, it seems this issue with Billy will never go away.


The statement that teenagers will chase a 40 something man is rather laughable, but it does happen. Look at the teen throbs from TV and movies who are 40 or close to it and the following they have.


But hey, to each his own. It is okay to dream. I guess time will tell.

Well, the 'issue' at least insofar as one of the (probably THE) primary antagonist is most certainly going to come to a conclusion - one way or the other.

- Dan

[GoodOlBoy]

So, how was it illegal, even if she were 16 at the time of initial contact?

Your interpretation of right and wrong is interesting. 
 
How then would you explain the Long Island police being at a certain residence yesterday, questioning a 17 yo girl (in front of her Mother) concerning a "grown" congressman in his 40's making (possible) inappropriate contact with her on the internet?
 
GOB
 
BTW.....She will also be "legal" in a few month's. 

[BC]

Now that we have this stupid legal age out of the way, perhaps some want to discuss their lofty morals.  Gggeeezzz.

Tim,

On one side lofty morals, on the other lofty dreams.

Obviously a bad mix.

[tim 360]

Your interpretation of right and wrong is interesting.
GOB
 

 
       
 

[tim 360]

Tim,

On one side lofty morals, on the other lofty dreams.

Obviously a bad mix.

+1

[Gylden]

Your interpretation of right and wrong is interesting. 
 
How then would you explain the Long Island police being at a certain residence yesterday, questioning a 17 yo girl (in front of her Mother) concerning a "grown" congressman in his 40's making (possible) inappropriate contact with her on the internet?
 
GOB
 
BTW.....She will also be "legal" in a few month's. 

Maybe it is because she didn't have her mother's permission??