Life Changes...Part Deux

[Muzh]

I know some would be happy if a woman knows where her place should be.

[BC]

I know some would be happy if a woman knows where her place should be.

My wife tells me 'You may be the head of the house, but I am the neck.'  Is quite ok and we chuckle about a lot about it.

Used to be a joke a while back.. all I want is a girl with a flat head.. so I have a place to put my beer and the remote.

There may be the rare woman that would be happy as such, but from what I have seen, not in the form of a FSUW.

[Hammer2722]

Glad to hear things are still progressing with you and A. Thanks for the update Billy. 

[Jumper]

Billy,
I may have missed details in the 51 pages..
 Do you speak daily with A?
skype? phone? email?
 
 
With the additional delays,
do you plan to travel and have a second meeting with A?
 
or are your plans still to await her K1 being approved?
 

[I/O]

I may have missed details in the 51 pages..

[GQBlues]

  along with you.....
 
Actually, I'm regurgitating my reply post (# 1,217, LOL) as it still stands. Nothing's changed....

[Jumper]

Hey I'm good for comic relief about twice a year..
 
 

[I/O]

Hey I'm good for comic relief about twice a year.

AJ, It's the "line" of the year for mine.

[mies]

 
 Another reason is that many of the RW understand I'm not what some have claimed me to be, perverted and a child molester. One can't have the success I'm having being morally bankrupt.

Who are those "many RW" exactly? 
You aren't morally bankrupt, Billy. You are morally ignorant. That's a totally different matter than being morally bankrupt. To get bankrupt one needs to start rich.

I think A. is a very beautiful girl, she is so flawless that she can easily be a photo-model for swimsuits or lingerie, or any other type of "model"/actress/TV-star etc. because her appearance is perfect. The reason why I am somewhat skeptical about this whole story is that you look delusional: about RW, about man-female roles in WM-RW families, about "perfect wife material" and so on. To get a successful marriage you need not a perfect wife material, you need a woman who would share your delusions. A. may be (and probably is) a "perfect wife material", and a bright teenager with a brilliant future, but who said she is a perfect "your wife material?"
I am not really critiquing you, just curious to have your opinion on this one. I hope you understand the difference between "perfect wife material" in general, and a perfect wife material for a specific man.
Let's say, there is a beautiful 17 yo girl, who is about to graduate from high-school. She speaks 3 foreign languages, is stunningly gorgeous, volunteers for her community = kindhearted and good-natured, comes from good family with both mother and father who never divorced and have healthy family relationship, possibly lawyers or medical doctors, high-income, she is American, and is already admitted to Stanford with a scholarship. She wants to get her degree and to have a good loving family, just like her parents'.
To me, she seems a pretty good "wife material."

Now, let us consider a set of possibilities, some - likely, some - highly unlikely.
1) Exhibit A: The girl meets a 45yo man, middle-class, double divorcee, 2-3 kids all in their 20s, sort of down-to-earth reliable good man, who has very peculiar ideas about male domination in family matters. The man who wants to marry her, because she is a good wife material. The guy plans to teach her how to be "a proper wife" because he knows what makes a proper (and obedient) wife. What will happen to girl if she marries him as soon as she turns 18?

2) Exhibit B: The girl meets a 25yo man, middle-class, some religious fundamentalist, who approves neither contraception nor abortions, and wants to have at least 12 children, who wants to marry her, because she is a good wife material. The guy plans to get her pregnant with their first kid as soon as they get married. What will happen to her if she marries him as soon as she turns 18?

3) Exhibit C: The girl meets an 18yo kid, drug-addict, who wants to marry her, because she is pretty (and her parents have cash) and a good wife material. The guy plans to teach her how to smoke meth. What will happen to her if she marries him as soon as she turns 18?

4) Exhibit D: The girl meets an 27yo dude, white trash, who wants to marry her, because she is pretty (and her parents have cash) and a good wife material. The guy plans (.. well, he plans something). What will happen to her if she marries him as soon as she turns 18?

5) Exhibit E: The girl doesn't meet anyone until she comes to Stanford, and there she starts dating her classmate, or a guy few years older than her, from her school, also good family/parents, etc etc etc, who wants to marry her, because she is a good wife material. The guy plans that they will have good family because they have common interests in life, similar backgrounds/social status/income/professions etc. What will happen to her if she marries him as soon as she turns 25?

I understand what A. may give to you, and still not quite sure what you are going to give to her to keep her interested for 10-20-30-40+ years to come. Or do you plan to ruin her (emotionally, physically, etc.) ASAP after marriage, to the point that she will not be able to get away from you?
I also understand that there is a possibility of Love, but you do not speak about love, you speak about rational choices. So if A. is to make a rational choice, how will you make her choice rational? Do you believe A. loves you? At what moment did she start loving you? Or will the love grow in your marriage if you get a perfect wife material?

As you see, this post is not offensive, I am just interested in your perspective on these issues.

Another reason RW aren't affected by what I say is because it's okay for a man to talk strong without being offensive.

Another reason why RW aren't affected is that RW's are amused by the way you think/talk strongly. It's almost as good as a Colbert Report or a Daily Show. Only the comedians are being ironic & sarcastic, and you speak from your heart. So it's almost a voyeuristic pleasure observing how you peel your soul naked in front of the forum. Unless you are making fun of all of us here 

We talk about our roles in our marriage and we agree with traditional roles.

I hope you do all the talking (strongly), and A. does all the agreeing (femininely), otherwise the traditional roles would be seriously compromised. 

[pitbull]

I think A. is a very beautiful girl, she is so flawless that she can easily be a photo-model for swimsuits or lingerie, or any other type of "model"/actress/TV-star etc. because her appearance is perfect.

I agree with you. Of all the photos of wives/fiancees/unsuspecting passerby RWs I've seen on this site, A. is the most beautiful. This is why the fact that she may actually end up spending several precious years of her youth with Billy (the reasons for that is a different topic) makes me cringe....

[mies]

Of all the photos of wives/fiancees/unsuspecting passerby RWs I've seen on this site, A. is the most beautiful. This is why the fact that she may actually end up spending several precious years of her youth with Billy (the reasons for that is a different topic) makes me cringe....

Exactly. Some guys, Billy among them, respond with "women who criticize are just jealous of A's beauty." I do not criticize A., and I do not question her beauty. As Russian joke says "please show me the line where I should start laughing/покажите в каком месте смеяться," in this story it's "please, show me the line where I should start being jealous."
It would be very interesting to know the thought process of A's mom. Maybe Billy can invite her here..? I promise to be civil and respectful.

[pitbull]

Exactly. Some guys, Billy among them, respond with "women who criticize are just jealous of A's beauty." I do not criticize A., and I do not question her beauty. As Russian joke says "please show me the line where I should start laughing/покажите в каком месте смеяться," in this story it's "please, show me the line where I should start being jealous."
It would be very interesting to know the thought process of A's mom. Maybe Billy can invite her here..? I promise to be civil and respectful.

Mies, прекрати думать мои мысли  (stop thinking my thoughts). Of all the people involved, A's mom is an enigma to me, just can't reconstruct her thought process here. Being a mom to a beautiful 2-year old and wishing all the best for my daughter, makes me feel all the more puzzled at A's mom.

[BillyB]

 

I certainly am not going to highlight the posts.

Why not? If you say I said it, make it easy for people to read it. You expect people to just believe you? Earlier in this thread you said you don't lie. I like to see the post where I told you to groom your underage daughter.  What is clear is the accusations you and others made against me and my fiancee. We're immoral and she is a green card girl going to use me. One thing is clear is that some people here can't tell the sincere from the insincere. I've got a lot of experience with ladies with various motives. Some good and some bad. I can tell the difference between sweet girls and the bad girls.
 

I may have missed details in the 51 pages..
 

You're missing important plot points. AJ is that you? Why the name change? Running from the law? lol
 

Do you speak daily with A?
skype? phone? email?
 

We speak daily on the phone if the phone lines are working properly. Sometimes we talk more than once a day. Phone calls can last a few minutes to a few hours. We email each other only when phone doesn't work or we're sending photos.
 

With the additional delays,
do you plan to travel and have a second meeting with A?
 
or are your plans still to await her K1 being approved?
 

K-1 is approved and probably in Kiev now. It was mistakenly sent to the Consular in Tunisia. I will be at the interview with A. Unfortunately she will not be taking the same plane back home as I since the consulars website said it could take up to 10 days for a person to get a visa in hand after approval and they don't recommend buying tickets until visa is in hand.
 

Some guys, Billy among them, respond with "women who criticize are just jealous of A's beauty." I do not criticize A.

Where did I say women are jealous of A's beauty? Quote me. And you did criticize A. You had a hard time believing a young beautiful lady can go out with a guy like me so early in this thread you warned me I could get used. Now that I've had time to talk about A's character, I think people are starting to see what I've seen in her.
 

Of all the people involved, A's mom is an enigma to me, just can't reconstruct her thought process here.

Why just mom? I met mom's friends who were near 50 yo and some doctors. I met A's friends who were near her age. Nobody had a problem with me when we met and we had fun when we got together. A few times some have requested to speak to me while I was talking on the phone to A. They show no signs of being disgusted with me or with my relationship with A.
 

Beautiful women get hundreds of men writing them yet they still complain they can't find a good one. When a good one comes along, they may overlook his age. I met RW in their young to mid 20's and they tell me they don't date men under 30. A tells me young men do nothing for her. Immaturity and lack of responsibility are turn offs for most women. Why do RW accept larger age gaps compared to their western sisters? Probably because they seen enough BS to not want anymore in their lives. They also don't have the social programs available to them as does their western sisters so they need to be extra careful about getting pregnant to a deadbeat. American woman gets pregnant from deadbeat, taxpayers will cover costs.
 

I'm not surprised I won over A, mom, and the other ladies in their lives. Before meeting A, I could have gotten married 6 times if I chose to propose to RW right here in America. I'm not surprised they liked me too. Earlier in this thread I mentioned I'm not going to win over every woman. Some will reject me immediately due to my age or the way I look. Women that like to party, go to discos on a regular basis, or are feminists aren't going to like me. I have enough qualities to beat my competition easily for the girls I'm targeting. I also have enough talent to find the women that have the same beliefs in family and life as I do. Some may feel A is trading her beauty and youth for nothing but if one is to ask her, she is getting the better deal. If I told her goodbye today, she would cry and beg me to come back as other women have done with me in the past.
 

If I came to this forum and said I'm going to get married, you can be sure it is going to be with an outstanding woman. Doesn't matter if it's A or another beautiful woman inside and out. It will happen. I know my worth and I appeal to lots of women and any man who isn't having success with women should make some changes in his life. I didn't get the results I'm getting writing to one woman. I wrote thousands. I've been on the phone with hundreds. I've dated over 50 RW. Some guys have a hard time getting a phone number or even an email response back. Very few men or women can start a thread talking about their journey and end it with a winner. I can do this because I know how I appeal to women, how to find a good woman and I can't lose. You may never see someone try this again so enjoy this read. Now on to something tasty.
 

 
Girls, do you know how to get to a man's heart? Through his stomach. Feed him. Although some thought of me as a tyrant earlier in this thread because I believe cooking is a woman's responsibility, I greatly value a woman who puts love and care into every meal to feed me. Occasionally food has been a topic that A and I have discussed on the phone.
 

While in Libya A told me she learned an Arabic dish from the neighbor. Other times she tells me she's baking sweets, different types of borscht, or learning the Italian kitchen.


A has volunteered to take care of a 3 yo daughter of her cousin who has to work far away for a month. A tells me the girl doesn't like vegetables and she has to be creative to mix vegetables into the meal.
 

A asked if she can cook with my mom and learn new recipes. My mom is okay with that and A will have plenty of opportunities since my mom lives close by.
 

Once A's mom told A to give her the phone and mom said "Bill. A doesn't eat. You talk to her!" I asked A what was that about. A told me she eats when she's hungry but I know she wants to diet to keep a good figure.
 

In her first time in America, A wants to go to the food market alone. She tells me she will need 3 hours to read the ingredients and expiration dates of anything she buys. She doesn't want our family to eat junk.
 

Sometimes she loves me because she tells me "Say goodbye to potato chips, soda, and gamburgers(said just like it's spelled). I'm cooking only healthy food."
 

Other times she loves me in a different way because she tells me "Whatever you want, I will cook for you." I can't eat healthy forever. She'll be cooking me a gamburger.
 

A is not some out of control rebel or feminist. She only needs to be told things once and if it's coming from me, she'll make it happen. I seen this in her when we met. I see this in her although we are apart. After tasting her food in Ukraine and near the end of my visit, I told her she needs some practice and if we decide to be a family someday, it's up to her on how the family will eat. I never spoke of this again with her but she has taken my concerns seriously and responded.
 

A lady at church asked A to volunteer to help with a church event. Children ages 6-16 will be coming in from various towns in the region to go camping, play games, and learn about Jesus. A accepted and she said it was a fun week for her. Today she reports she picked a lot of potatoes and other vegetables from the garden in the dacha. Last week she and a few of her cousins painted some walls. She told me her family does all the repairs and maintenance. Below is a photo of her preparing some food for the kids at camp.
 

[Ade]

Mies and Pitbull, be careful, Billy's carefully crafted delusions may not withstand these posts. On the other hand, he's so oblivious, I don't think there's anything anyone can say that will open his eyes to reality.

FWIW, I think A is a pretty girl but, to be honest, as far as I'm concerned, she's not at all sexy. She just looks too young for that. And all that talk of kittens and guineapigs, sheesh, I know that technically Billy is not a paedophile but I just don't get a grown man in his 40s that finds girls like this attractive in a sexual sense. Yes, there are 19 year old young women that really are sexy and could turn the head of many men, but A looks too much of a girl. Maybe it's just me. ~shrug~

[Ade]

A lady at church asked A to volunteer to help with a church event. Children ages 6-16 will be coming in from various towns in the region to go camping, play games, and learn about Jesus.

You remember I guess that, by your own admission, you started grooming communicating with A when she was just a little older than those you call "children" above? Unless you are even more oblivious than I think you are, you surely can understand some of the issues people have raised here, for this if nothing else?

[acrzybear]

I am just curious Billy
 
If you don't give a damn what others think of you or your relationship(s), why do you spend so much time justifing and asserting your alpha maleness?   

[Jooky]

Very interesting post Mies. Gets me thinking
 
I completely agree with this...

I hope you understand the difference between "perfect wife material" in general, and a perfect wife material for a specific man.

But then...
 

Let's say, there is a beautiful 17 yo girl, who is about to graduate from high-school. She speaks 3 foreign languages, is stunningly gorgeous, volunteers for her community = kindhearted and good-natured, comes from good family with both mother and father who never divorced and have healthy family relationship, possibly lawyers or medical doctors, high-income, she is American, and is already admitted to Stanford with a scholarship. She wants to get her degree and to have a good loving family, just like her parents'.

To me, she seems a pretty good "wife material."

I don't think any of the qualities I highlighted above have any bearing on a woman being in general 'good wife material'. They are completely irrelevant.

Now, let us consider a set of possibilities, some - likely, some - highly unlikely.

Your list of possibilities is what gets me thinking.
 
Exhibit E is what you have in mind as the best situation for this theoretical girl, right?
 
It's a common scenario and one that I've seen. The results: some happy lasting marriages, some bitter divorces and everything in between.
 
I've seen some more unlikely scenarios as well. The results: some happy lasting marriages, some bitter divorces and everything in between.
 
With the exception of the drug addict, I think any of the men in your exhibits could be a good husband (yup even the white trash guy). These are all different paths to follow. It's clear which one you think is the best path, but a woman could be happy with any of these paths.
 
So I don't know what A sees in Billy, but it's her path to choose and I don't see that the path most followed is a better guarantee of her long term happiness.

[BC]

So I don't know what A sees in Billy, but it's her path to choose and I don't see that the path most followed is a better guarantee of her long term happiness.

Kids grow up and mature rather quickly so no worries, A will figure things out.

[mies]

You had a hard time believing a young beautiful lady can go out with a guy like me so early in this thread you warned me I could get used. Now that I've had time to talk about A's character, I think people are starting to see what I've seen in her.

I am still having hard time believing it. But generally, I changed my mind after I saw A's character in a sky-blue swimsuit 

It does take remarkable self-discipline to be agreeing with everything another person says. For example, had I choose not to start discussions with you in this thread, I could write here on every thread page:

Billy is the only man who truly understands what does RW want. Everyone else who criticize him don't have a clue. Or are bitter about their own lives and failures. They aren't as young and beautiful as A, they are overweight, and think it isn't important to look good for their man, they lack A's character, so they think she must be faking it. But there are some good women out there. And I am happy that Billy found one. That's a proof that a good man, with good character, who knows what woman wants, who respects a woman, takes care of his woman, and ignores all other women - can really get any woman he wants. So he can choose only the best, crop of the crop.
This is so true that every RW wants a strong, supportive man. Billy hit it right on the nail head. USSR had too many wars in the 20th century, so the best men were killed in every war, and now there are no good men left. All younger guys are sassies and mommy's boys, they cannot commit, they don't want to marry, they aren't ready to start a family, they do not want to provide for their wife and children, they do not want to support their mother-in-law, they cheat, drink, gamble, and are completely unreliable. By the time they man-up (in their late 30s or 40s) - they are already married to someone else and have children, and many guys - never man-up at all. RW do not care about age. As the russian proverb says: "You cannot use the youth of your husband as a butter-spread for a sandwich." RW want stability, they want to have a man in the house, the one who can be the "head" in the family, while wife is the "neck" who turns her man in the right direction. There is another popular proverb about that too. Men are genetically predisposed to take care of woman, to provide for a family, to be the brains and muscles in the couple, to protect, they handle stress better and can always think straight and make good decisions. It's not the wife's role to do those things. RW look so feminine because they have not forgotten about gender roles, and they aren't trying to do the man's job. Instead, they excel in the woman's role: to take care of her man in every way, to please him in kitchen and in bed, to give him children, and even when having children - do not forget about her husband because he is always #1 in her life, they always try to stay beautiful and physically attractive for their husband, they dress attractively, wear high heels, if the husband wants - they augment their breasts and lips, but usually their breasts are big enough so this is not needed. They know that a man has his needs, so they will not shirk on family duties, and will cook for him nice meals, and have sex with him at least twice a day even if they have a headache or don't feel well. Because if the man does not have his needs satisfied at home, he can start looking elsewhere, and RW does not want that to happen, and she wants her man to be happy. Some RW exercise to stay fit, but very often even that isn't needed because RW are beautiful naturally, they have good genes, and the work they do around the house, and while carrying the kid to the 11th floor of their apartment complex few times a day after walk - is enough for them to stay fit and slim, and curvaceous just in right spots. Their husband is an impersonation of God to them. RW never argues with her husband, never questions his decisions, never asks for anything from him but thankful for everything he gives to her and is eternally grateful for her husband's caring and loving nature. Husband always comes first, no matter what. RW does not try to wear pants in the family. She does not try to dominate, because she does not need it and she knows that her husband knows better. RW is happy to agree with her man. But that also puts great responsibility on a man. A weak and feeble man cannot handle an RW because he cannot be a real man, and RW wants no less. She wants a man who can talk strongly, and show his character through his deeds not through his words. The man should provide for family, period. Woman can have a bigger salary, work more hours, and contribute to family budget too, and that's OK, but the man will always be a provider. Because he is the man. But usually RW earns the same or less than her husband because RW never puts her career ahead of her man. Her real "career" is her home, an indicator of he success in life is how good her family is, how successful her husband is, how beautiful and talented her children are. RW learn well and get good education so that their husband can be proud of them, to be a good match for his success, and to be able to teach their children in the after-school hours. 
So all of you, who turn and twist Billy's words, who say that A. is using him, or that B. has questionable morals because he writes to a 17yo, - don't you dare. Read his thread carefully before you jump into conclusions. Read about Billy's search strategy, and learn from him how to find a good wife material. None of you who criticize him here have succeeded in that, else you would not be writing here and would not be so jealous. You do not have any proof of your words, while Billy has found exactly what he was looking for: a beautiful mature young woman, who is already 19, and who has amazing character and beauty. Billy's fiance can make any woman jealous because she has it all: her youth, her beauty, her intellect, and now she also has Billy and will soon have a good strong family. So please, stop arguing, go read Billy's advice, read carefully when he describes what RW wants because he understands RW perfectly, and then - go find yourself a good wife material too. If you are married already, to someone less "quality wife material" than A, then you can feel sorry for yourself. 
"

and that's what I have to say about that.

[BC]

and that's what I have to say about that.

Well said... I wonder if all that would fit in Billy's signature line.. save him a lot of typing, maybe even all of it.. LOL

[mies]

Your list of possibilities is what gets me thinking.
 
Exhibit E is what you have in mind as the best situation for this theoretical girl, right?
 
It's a common scenario and one that I've seen. The results: some happy lasting marriages, some bitter divorces and everything in between.
 
I've seen some more unlikely scenarios as well. The results: some happy lasting marriages, some bitter divorces and everything in between.
 
With the exception of the drug addict, I think any of the men in your exhibits could be a good husband (yup even the white trash guy). These are all different paths to follow. It's clear which one you think is the best path, but a woman could be happy with any of these paths.
 
So I don't know what A sees in Billy, but it's her path to choose and I don't see that the path most followed is a better guarantee of her long term happiness.

 Thank you for your reply, Jooky.
 Exhibit E is not the "best scenario" in my opinion, it is the most conventional and socially acceptable one.
It is a known fact that paupers of India are overall much happier and more content about their lives than the rich's of Scandinavia. While the rich person in Scandinavia lives unhappy, suffers depression and dies from suicide, the poor of India lives happy and dies happy from disease and malnutrition.
It is also true that many people are happy in their lives against all odds, and many - are unhappy and fail in their lives against all odds. It is also true that one cannot know whether a marriage is happy or unhappy, unless it is his own marriage. Sometimes people do not notice for years that their spouse is unhappy, and think of their marriages as happy one, until the day X comes.
Finally, among the white trash cases of alcohol and substances abuse aren't rare. So I would be careful when saying "drug addicts are bad but anything else is OK." Alcohol can also be a big problem.

In my set of exhibits I did not ask which scenario would make the girl most happy, or will make her husband most happy, or will undoubtedly will not end up in a divorce. I only asked "what will happen to girl" - basically the plain descriptive facts on how her life will evolve from the moment of marriage.
 
 

[mies]

Mies, прекрати думать мои мысли  (stop thinking my thoughts).

 

[Hammer2722]

Billy, you live in the Seattle area right? So do I. I hope that someday when your A and my Lena arrives we can all get together for dinner or something. I would look forward to meeting you and A. I admire that you have the courage and guts to come here and tell your story knowing full well that there will be plenty of jealous, spiteful and downright rude know-it-all people here who have nothing better than try to shoot you down.
 
I look forward to continuing to read about you and A. 

[SteveOR]

Billy, you live in the Seattle area right? So do I. I hope that someday when your A and my Lena arrives we can all get together for dinner or something. I would look forward to meeting you and A. I admire that you have the courage and guts to come here and tell your story knowing full well that there will be plenty of jealous, spiteful and downright rude know-it-all people here who have nothing better than try to shoot you down.

I look forward to continuing to read about you and A. 

+1  From Portland, the Seattle suburb to the South. . .
 
 

[Ranetka]

I agree with you. Of all the photos of wives/fiancees/unsuspecting passerby RWs I've seen on this site, A. is the most beautiful. This is why the fact that she may actually end up spending several precious years of her youth with Billy (the reasons for that is a different topic) makes me cringe....

+1