Going to St. Petersburg and.. ladies who will visit me this summer...

[Sculpto]

So, I decided in March after the end of one thing.. that I would use the money I had set aside for a wedding and immigration fees to make a trip.  I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go.. back to the FSU.. Mexico.. South America.. SE Asia.. I really didn't know.

I had initiated a bunch of new correspondence with ladies from all the mentioned locations.

Early on two favorites emerged.. one from Colombia and one from the Urals region.

But, some other things developed as well.  I started getting contacted by ladies interested in visiting San Francisco.  I am not going to detail how I made myself known to them.. but I did... and I was getting some very interesting correspondence from that angle also.

So, in early May, prior to meeting Miss Sacto.. I decided to buy a ticket to St. Petersburg for this July.  My correspondent in the Urals had agreed to meet me there.. and I have an old friend who is an artist who will give me on the ground support and I have wanted to see the Hermitage to complete my "collection" of the great art museums of the world.  So, I am in possession of a round trip ticket for a 16 day trip which will begin in about two weeks.. have a lovely lady to meet who is also an artist.. and lovely lady who is a great friend who will watch my back.. and several backups should I need them.

I have been practicing a policy of total transparency with all my correspondents.  This was a big risk on my part and has had a very surprising and unexpected result.  So, in other words.. before I even met Miss Sacto she knew about St. Petersburg and that I would be meeting girls there.. the main girl I am meeting in St. P knows about Miss Sacto.. the back up girls know about both.. both primary girls know about the backup girls..

the thing that was unexpected about the transparency policy.. is it put all of them at ease.  One girl said.. "I am so happy you said to me.. I thought it is crazy he is only interested in me.. it can not be true"  Each of the girls has shown an interest in the other girls.. they are all asking about each other.. and.. even more interesting.. since coming clean with all of them.. all of them are making more effort to communicate and get my attention.  Miss Sacto included since she is the only one I have met in real life.

This totally defied my expectations on so many levels.  But.. I tried it once and got a positive result so I tried it again and the same results and so I went all out and told everyone everything and I got the same results.  I am shocked and at this point I can not advocate such an approach to anyone else as I really don't know why it is working.. but it is.

I was hinting about that in TBBs thread when the discussion centered around "a man with a girl on his arm is more attractive to other women"  In my current view it is the only explanation I can find.

Next post gets into another thing that has come up

[Sculpto]

During this process I have also encountered a number of ladies who are visiting the US this summer on work travel and with normal tourist visas and other kinds of work visas.

Of the work travel ladies I do not consider most of them to be serious prospects.. more like friends that I will show around my city.  There is one though that is worth talking about because her situation is different.

This lady found me.. after a short time of chat she revealed that she had been a member on ElenasModels and had met a man from Los Angeles who was more than 35 years older than her and very wealthy.  She had initially agreed to marry him because she wanted to get out of her city.  But.. she was having doubts because she didn't love him even though he claimed to love her.

So, that initiated a rather long series of chats about GCGs and men who want a pretty young girl for a decoration.

She didn't believe me about such men.  So, I challenged her to test him.  I said.. "tell him you are not physically attracted to him and even if you will give him a child you can not imagine yourself to even share his bed let alone have him be your only sex partner" and see what he says. 

He came back to her with the offer to marry with no obligation for sex or children.. he just wanted her to be available to go to conferences and dinner parties to impress his friends and peers.  He would provide for her financially and set her up for the rest of her life.. but.. she must not engage in any extramarital affairs because of the risk of public exposure.  Apparently he is somewhat high profile.

I told her to forget such a life and that if she is so focused on leaving her FSU country.. and miserable city.. that she can and should do it on her own.

With that she expressed more confusion than ever.. and.. stopped our communications.  I simply figured she had decided to be the "bracelet".

Three weeks ago out of the blue she contacted me with the news that she would have an interview at the embassy in a few days.  She had the interview and has been awarded the visa.  She has said she owes me her life for saving her from a HUGE mistake and will be arriving in SF soon.  Before the scam alarms go off.. I have actually been inside her account with her employment agency because she needed some help with some details.. its all for real. 

There is another lady that works for Boeing.  She is an engineer and is back and forth between Russia and Seattle regularly. 

And there are some others who appear to be doing WMVM trips.  I encountered one such lady last summer but I was still involved so I didn't pursue.. but I have been contacted by several who I am sure are doing WMVM. 

it is going to be a very interesting summer.

And as I said.. total transparency.. everyone knows everything.. at the appropriate time of course.. its not the first thing out of my mouth LOL.

[ML]

I have been practicing a policy of total transparency with all my correspondents.  This was a big risk on my part and has had a very surprising and unexpected result.  So, in other words.. before I even met Miss Sacto she knew about St. Petersburg and that I would be meeting girls there.. the main girl I am meeting in St. P knows about Miss Sacto.. the back up girls know about both.. both primary girls know about the backup girls..

I seriously doubt that the 'back up girls' know they are regarded as such.

[Sculpto]

I seriously doubt that the 'back up girls' know they are regarded as such.

why shouldn't they? I am going on a cultural trip.. if i have time I will see them.. they all know I am seeing other ladies..

so.. I have noticed ML.. you have in general a pretty negative commentary about most things.. why is that?

[brad5959]

I hope you have a great time and if you get a chance take some nice photos of St. Petersberg to post here on this website!

[Kuna]

Sculpto,

You'll love the Hermitage, and I will genuinely look forward to reading your descriptions of it.  Personally I was most taken by the religious relics and Icons...  but the Throne room (not the one with the porceline throne) was very interesting as well.

I don't know what most people do but my BIL organbised a private guide to take us through...  it was well worthwhile because she gave detailed histories of the pieces in the collection an the rooms in which they are housed.

For painted works I wasn't more impressed than I was at the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow (which is INCREDIBLE)  http://www.tretyakovgallery.ru/en/, but if you don't spend more than a few minutes with Michelangelo's sculpture of The Crouching Boy I'd be shocked.


You won't like this bit but it probably needs to be said....

I would encourage you to give up on the idea of finding a FSUW for now.  We all know some men are just not cut out for it and I think what you've been through is quite enough without putting yourself through it again.

The funny thing is that if you give up,  you may very well find what you're looking for.... consider that seriously, it happens!

Have fun on your trip...

[Rina_G]

I think when one lady knows that you'll meet with anothers  - reaction on it maybe so diferent
and the most - she won't look at you as a perspective candidate and wants to take more your money - for dinners and presents.
she has just one chanse for this.
even if you'll meet with many women each one (from your ladies) has to know that she's one for you.
it doesn't relates to your polit it relates to lady's logic.
In youк case you can meet tens abd all of them will be scammers.
good luck in Piter
 

[kievstar]

Rina makes a good point. 

Personally I have yet to see a man on this board who juggled their current wife with other women for a long period of time.  I think your lady in Sacramento you like but do not consider her marriage material.  Nothing wrong with casual dating. 

[Dave13]

If you get the chance, check out Peterhof, the fountains are beautiful.

[Sculpto]

Calm down everyone.

Kiev, I saw Miss Sacto three times.  I ain't making marriage decisions based on that.  No reason to anyway.. there is no immigration issue.  There is no official "girlfriend" status with her.. that was her choice based on her life situation right now.. nothing to do with my travel plans.  What happens in the future with her.. or any other girl.. will not happen fast.  Frankly, after what happened with Miss Tomsk.. it is going to take a lot of proof from any girl to get me motivated to ask for a marriage.

As far as those I am meeting in St. P.  Not one of them is from a marriage site and I have not discussed marriage with any of them.  I am going on a cultural trip and I have some ladies lined up to show me their beautiful city.  THATS IT!    If something more develops.. lucky me.

Kuna.. your comment was sage except one thing.. you are already one step behind me.  Bride hunting is absolutely 100% off the table.  In fact, I am of the opinion that bride hunters are a special breed of loser.  I will probably be hated even more for saying it.. but.. I can tell you and everyone else that my communications with MANY ladies who ARE NOT in any way associated with the MOB and many of whom were not even found on dating sites... there is a backlash beginning... I will address that in detail the next post.

I am engaged in international cultural travel with the side benefit of dating locals.  I did it in Mexico for 20+ years.. did it in France for a few years.. and now I am doing it in St. Petersburg for the first time.  

And Rina.. there won't be anything for them to scam because I am not offering them anything.  On the contrary mon ami.. they are offering me.. Russian hospitality is quite famous you know.  I just hope I am sufficiently good and appreciative as a guest to justify the generosity that has already been shown.  

[Sculpto]

So, true to form I made a really bold statement in my last post... I said..

"Bride hunters are a special form of loser"

Wow.. what a jerk, right?  I mean what nerve do I have to say something like that?  I must be a real jackass. 

Well, not exactly..

After my K1 was cancelled.. I did some soul searching.  A lot in fact.  While I certainly made some mistakes, even some fairly big ones.. the biggest mistake I made was pushing for a marriage.

See, the thing is.. marriage is very serious stuff.  As Miss Sacto pointed out to me last weekend.. marriage and family are sacred entities blessed by God and should never be entered into for anything but the most sincere and honorable reasons.  Her comment was nothing I had not already considered, but, given my past experience dealing with FSU ladies.. it was refreshing and validating to hear for the first time someone speak about the topic with her feat firmly on the ground instead of with her head in the clouds.

But, that isn't even the point of this post.  In these months I have established communications with ladies I have met on a variety of different types of sites.  Most of them are not dating sites and none of them are marriage sites.  In communicating with real women who in frequent cases have had little or no communication with foreign men I have in fact learned some interesting things.

But, the most important thing I have learned and noticed and been told.. is.. as I stated above.. "foreign bride hunters that come to Russia to look for girls are a special kind of loser".   Those are not my words.. those are the words of multiple ladies who are not and never will be part of the MOB. 

But, the most interesting reinforcement of the above comment came from a very lovely lady in Odessa.  I did not find her on a dating site also.  However...

Miss Odessa is a former Anastasia girl.  She was engaged, came over on a K1, spent 85 days at which point, her fiance told her.. "sorry, I am not ready for marriage" and sent her home humiliated and shamed.  Miss Odessa is not a child.. but in fact is mid to late 20s.  She is not surprisingly quite beautiful as most Anastasia girls are.. and.. she said to me.. "this idea of bride hunting and being a hunted bride is stupid and for losers"

So.. maybe everyone ought to be giving some consideration to that idea...

[Rina_G]

And Rina.. there won't be anything for them to scam because I am not offering them anything.  On the contrary mon ami.. they are offering me.. Russian hospitality is quite famous you know.  I just hope I am sufficiently good and appreciative as a guest to justify the generosity that has already been shown.  

No comment - to use russian hospitality is real polit 
I wouldn't like to have you as my guest.

[Misha]

So, true to form I made a really bold statement in my last post... I said..

"Bride hunters are a special form of loser"

Wow.. what a jerk, right?  I mean what nerve do I have to say something like that?  I must be a real jackass. 

Well, not exactly..

After my K1 was cancelled.. I did some soul searching.  A lot in fact. 

I am not sure what your point is Sculpto. Are you trying to prove that you are not one of the losers? Honestly, the time for soul searching is before filing for a K1.

[SMS60]

Calm down everyone.

Whos excited??

Your imagination is working again.

[Boethius]

She is not surprisingly quite beautiful as most Anastasia girls are.. and.. she said to me.. "this idea of bride hunting and being a hunted bride is stupid and for losers"

It sounds as if she is bitter about her experience, and I suppose she has a right to be.

Perhaps there are "losers", a term I don't like to use, in the process.  There surely is exploitation, on both sides.  However, there are also just individuals who wish to live normal family lives.  Just like in any other way that couples meet.

[Sculpto]

I am not sure what your point is Sculpto. Are you trying to prove that you are not one of the losers? Honestly, the time for soul searching is before filing for a K1.

Ok happy now you got your dig in.. sheesh Misha.. are you sure your nickname shouldn't just be "miserable"?   

[Sculpto]

No comment - to use russian hospitality is real polit 
I wouldn't like to have you as my guest.

Rina have I offended you somehow?  I really don't see how.. I mean I am going on a trip I have wanted to make for at least 30 years.. whats the problem? 

[SFandEE]

I look forward to hearing your experience in St. Petersburg.  For me it had the feel of a big small town.  Of course, like others have mentioned the brilliant Russian culture is ever present and also the weight of history.  I imagine the people who survived the struggles of WWII to be most tenacious.

I do have one friend that I keep in touch with from that trip.  So I hope to make it back there myself.  Such a long plane flight though.  Are you considering going to Moscow as well--now that city is a lot of fun!

[Misha]

Ok happy now you got your dig in.. sheesh Misha.. are you sure your nickname shouldn't just be "miserable"?   

I am simply highlighting the fact that before you start labeling others losers for being bride hunters that you should reflect upon your own history.

[Sculpto]

I look forward to hearing your experience in St. Petersburg.  For me it had the feel of a big small town.  Of course, like others have mentioned the brilliant Russian culture is ever present and also the weight of history.  I imagine the people who survived the struggles of WWII to be most tenacious.

I do have one friend that I keep in touch with from that trip.  So I hope to make it back there myself.  Such a long plane flight though.  Are you considering going to Moscow as well--now that city is a lot of fun!

I am really excited SF.. This city has been in my head since it was called Leningrad and was off limits.  I remember back in the art school days when on some occasions there would be some hotly debated discussions about the USSR.. particularly after one movie came out, "Red Dawn".. remember that one?  People were ready to get into fist fights over that film and then one of our faculty members showed up and it turned out he had spent a year in Georgia and had been to Leningrad also..  a lot of myths got shattered that day.. but.. it was still the early 80's and the USSR was deep into Afganistan and not one person at that table thought any of us would ever set foot in the Hermitage.

Today I was talking with my client who is also a good friend.  She knew about my last adventure with a RW and asked me if this trip was with the same purpose.  I explained to her..

"no, not really.  This trip is really for me.  I mean, there are some very specific things I want to do and see and if a lady wants to join me to see and do that is fantastic, but, unlike my two previous trips to Moscow where I made a lot of compromises, this time, the women can take it or leave it but my schedule is mine and I am not going to leave Russia this time thinking I didn't see things I should have".

So.. quite frankly.. if I don't hold hands or get a kiss from ANY of the girls I will meet.. I really don't care.  The women are a side benefit this time around.  I am a lot more interested in seeing amazing wood buildings, soaking in famous mineral baths, walking in the halls of royalty and seeing Rasputin's "legacy" than anything else.  It is my summer vacation.  

[Sculpto]

I am simply highlighting the fact that before you start labeling others losers for being bride hunters that you should reflect upon your own history.

And i am simply highlighting that if you had as much ability to comprehend what people write your so called highlights might actually be useful instead of annoying. 

I reported comments that I have heard, repeatedly, over the last few months.  I did not state it was my opinion, you ASSumed it is or was as you like to ASSume things across the board. 

So, maybe before you start criticizing my reportage you might want to reflect on your own history and refrain from making so many ASSumptions.

[Misha]

You can hear many things from many people, however it is still no excuse to hearsay to put down others even if it only implied.

[Ludmila]

Eric,

have a most enjoyable trip ! I hope, you meet a few new friends......and who knows, you never know when people  who were  friends yesterday, fall in love........ I sincerely hope it will happen to you......and it is the sweetest feeling  !

(As to those who end up losers in this process, yes there are quite a few, as in any situations. But there are so many healthy families, couples, kids who were born in these relationships. Losers are those who thought it can be done in a twist of a finger, and those who never learn from their own mistakes).

Once again, I am wishing you a most eventful enjoyable trip....and may be great friends........who may.......you know what i mean.....
Stay safe, and let luck work for you!

[Sculpto]

Ludmila thank you for your wise words.  Fortunately there are thoughtful and intelligent people like you who are able to understand what I meant. 

[Faux Pas]

Calm down everyone.

Kiev, I saw Miss Sacto three times.  I ain't making marriage decisions based on that.  No reason to anyway.. there is no immigration issue.  There is no official "girlfriend" status with her.. that was her choice based on her life situation right now.. nothing to do with my travel plans.  What happens in the future with her.. or any other girl.. will not happen fast.  Frankly, after what happened with Miss Tomsk.. it is going to take a lot of proof from any girl to get me motivated to ask for a marriage.

As far as those I am meeting in St. P.  Not one of them is from a marriage site and I have not discussed marriage with any of them.  I am going on a cultural trip and I have some ladies lined up to show me their beautiful city.  THATS IT!    If something more develops.. lucky me.

Kuna.. your comment was sage except one thing.. you are already one step behind me.  Bride hunting is absolutely 100% off the table.  In fact, I am of the opinion that bride hunters are a special breed of loser.  I will probably be hated even more for saying it.. but.. I can tell you and everyone else that my communications with MANY ladies who ARE NOT in any way associated with the MOB and many of whom were not even found on dating sites... there is a backlash beginning... I will address that in detail the next post.

I am engaged in international cultural travel with the side benefit of dating locals.  I did it in Mexico for 20+ years.. did it in France for a few years.. and now I am doing it in St. Petersburg for the first time.  

And Rina.. there won't be anything for them to scam because I am not offering them anything.  On the contrary mon ami.. they are offering me.. Russian hospitality is quite famous you know.  I just hope I am sufficiently good and appreciative as a guest to justify the generosity that has already been shown.  

And i am simply highlighting that if you had as much ability to comprehend what people write your so called highlights might actually be useful instead of annoying. 

I reported comments that I have heard, repeatedly, over the last few months.  I did not state it was my opinion, you ASSumed it is or was as you like to ASSume things across the board. 

So, maybe before you start criticizing my reportage you might want to reflect on your own history and refrain from making so many ASSumptions.