Why are y'all really looking for RW?

[ECOCKS]

There are beautiful, intelligent women in the US. There are also the same in the FSU.

There are various other factors which comprise that great cultural difference and accessibility that determine the "league" that both will play in both here and there.

Believing anything else is part of being in the fantasy.

[veritas]

How significant "1. Most of the men in this endeavor are social mis-fits, incapable of successful dating in their own back yards." is?

Well, depends how we define "successful dating". If a man dreams about pretty intelligent woman then I think this is a big chunk of "want to marry FSU woman. Due to some very important fact it IS possible over seas and impossible in the States (Europe).

Expectations, sir!  

There are beautiful, intelligent women in the US. There are also the same in the FSU.

There are various other factors which comprise that great cultural difference and accessibility that determine the "league" that both will play in both here and there.

Believing anything else is part of being in the fantasy.

Thanks, Doll and ECOCKS ...

Kevin

[JR]

but a misfit could meet a woman in the states too

Yes but will she be 20 to 30 years his junior, slender and beautiful? Probably not.....

Please note that I did not say that ALL men doing this are social mis-fits. The VAST majority of men seeking an FSU bride will never find this forum. I am talking about the fantasy that takes a hold of a man when he is led to believe (usually deluding himself) that he can by-pass all the time and effort of finding a suitable mate in his back yard and instead thinks he can somehow "buy" the perfect wife in an economically disadvantaged country. When he sees the photos of the young, hot women who post they'll accept a man twenty or forty years their senior all reason leaves the equasion. He wraps himself in so much BS and justification that no one can talk him out of it? Why? Because he feels like a kid in a candy store with a wad of cash to spend.

[Doll]

Yes but will she be 20 to 30 years his junior, slender and beautiful? Probably not.....

Please note that I did not say that ALL men doing this are social mis-fits. The VAST majority of men seeking an FSU bride will never find this forum. I am talking about the fantasy that takes a hold of a man when he is led to believe (usually deluding himself) that he can by-pass all the time and effort of finding a suitable mate in his back yard and instead thinks he can somehow "buy" the perfect wife in an economically disadvantaged country. When he sees the photos of the young, hot women who post they'll accept a man twenty or forty years their senior all reason leaves the equasion. He wraps himself in so much BS and justification that no one can talk him out of it? Why? Because he feels like a kid in a candy store with a wad of cash to spend.

[spectris]

Maybe it's already been written - I didn't read all the posts (damn, these popular threads take on a life of their own quickly), but I had a different reason.  I've been married (a couple of times) to AW much younger than me so I know full well what the pros/cons of that is.  I looked outside the US to find a type or category of woman I simply couldn't find in the US.  Smart, successful, 40-45 years old, independent, sexual and attractive - but maybe not quite as jaded and w/o the same baggage of an AW who might meet this seemingly simple description (I challenge anyone to find one that isn't married to either her SO or her career).  By baggage, I mean problematic x's, grandchildren, an all -consuming career, a host of family "traditions" that have to be honored, and well - baggage.  I really wanted to quit dating and find someone to spend the rest of my life with, but I'm not willing to settle.

Selfish I realize since SHE will have to leave her family, friends, job, etc.  But you just can't (well, I couldn't anyway even w/ a huge amount of searching) find someone like this in the US.  But guess what, there are women there that meet this criteria in that part of the world - so I suppose it depends on what you are looking for.  For me, I don't want to raise another child, not be able to communicate, etc. - all the things that come with the 20-30 year age gap no matter what their origin.  Again, to each his own.

I don't mean this to sound derogative to the women on this board in any way – no generalization or condemnation from me – just observation on a very small subset of FSU women, but 20-25% of all the dancers in the higher end Dallas and Las Vegas clubs now are Russian.  And they all have the same story – married an older guy to get to the US, bailed as quickly as they could (legally or not) and well…

My feeling about this board are it's pretty evenly divided between those that are married and really want to contribute, serial daters that really enjoy traveling to the FSU for fun (nothing wrong w/ that btw - had I known about this option 20 years ago I would have been all over it!), and people that just like to hear themselves talk (maybe I'm one of those at least occasionally    ).

Oh yeah, and definitely what Doll said...

[LanaRUS]

 For me, I don't want to raise another child, not be able to communicate, etc. - all the things that come with the 20-30 year age gap no matter what their origin.  Again, to each his own.

 

 But i understood, another child - mean woman, who is more younger for 20 years, than man...  Maybe i am wrong  

[veritas]

But i understood, another child - mean woman, who is more younger for 20 years, than man...  Maybe i am wrong  

Hi Lana!   No, I believe you're right here -- I think spectris was indeed talking about raising a "woman-child" ...

Kevin

P.S.  I've never seen a post of yours where you needed a

[Misha]

Would any of you care to explain -- in this thread -- your motivations?

My experience pretty much echoes Jooky's. The fact of the matter is that in Russia it is easy to meet and date many women, extremely attractive women. In Canada, it would be close to impossible to get such women to reply to you on an online dating site unless you are an Adonis preferably driving a Porsche.

I will compare my experience in Russia to that in Canada. In Canada, I was lucky using Lavalife if I could find one woman to date per month. In Russia, I could find a date every night using singles.ru and if I really wanted to I could certainly arrange multiple dates. When you have a large pool of women willing to date you, eventually you will find a great woman who will be willing to date and marry you.

In my case, I was able to find and fall in love with a wonderful woman, who is intelligent, had pretty much everything I had dreamed of in terms of personality, as well as being drop dead gorgeous. Most importantly, she fell in love with me. We don't have much of an age difference (she is 10 years younger), but she was in her mid-twenties when we met, and such women as her were pretty impossible to find locally.   

[Jooky]

I think the irony of this pursuit is that there is some truth to the fantasy*, but the sites that most promote the fantasy are the ones least likely to make it come true.


* Simply because it's much easier to get your foot in the door with women in Russia, so with more choices, the more likely you can find what you're looking for, whatever that may be.

[Daveman]

Maybe it's already been written - I didn't read all the posts (damn, these popular threads take on a life of their own quickly), but I had a different reason.  I've been married (a couple of times) to AW much younger than me so I know full well what the pros/cons of that is.  I looked outside the US to find a type or category of woman I simply couldn't find in the US.  Smart, successful, 40-45 years old, independent, sexual and attractive - but maybe not quite as jaded and w/o the same baggage of an AW who might meet this seemingly simple description (I challenge anyone to find one that isn't married to either her SO or her career).  By baggage, I mean problematic x's, grandchildren, an all -consuming career, a host of family "traditions" that have to be honored, and well - baggage.  I really wanted to quit dating and find someone to spend the rest of my life with, but I'm not willing to settle.

Selfish I realize since SHE will have to leave her family, friends, job, etc.  But you just can't (well, I couldn't anyway even w/ a huge amount of searching) find someone like this in the US.  But guess what, there are women there that meet this criteria in that part of the world - so I suppose it depends on what you are looking for.  For me, I don't want to raise another child, not be able to communicate, etc. - all the things that come with the 20-30 year age gap no matter what their origin.  Again, to each his own.

I don't mean this to sound derogative to the women on this board in any way – no generalization or condemnation from me – just observation on a very small subset of FSU women, but 20-25% of all the dancers in the higher end Dallas and Las Vegas clubs now are Russian.  And they all have the same story – married an older guy to get to the US, bailed as quickly as they could (legally or not) and well…

My feeling about this board are it's pretty evenly divided between those that are married and really want to contribute, serial daters that really enjoy traveling to the FSU for fun (nothing wrong w/ that btw - had I known about this option 20 years ago I would have been all over it!), and people that just like to hear themselves talk (maybe I'm one of those at least occasionally    ).

Oh yeah, and definitely what Doll said...

>> Smart, successful, 40-45 years old, independent, sexual and attractive - but maybe not quite as jaded and w/o the same baggage of an AW who might meet this seemingly simple description (I challenge anyone to find one that isn't married to either her SO or her career).<<

I guess that would depend on how you personally define "successful".  But, with all the millions of women around this country, do you honestly think a woman like this cannot be found?  You truly believe this deeply enough to issue a challenge?  Is there money involved?  Or do you just want to hear yourself make excuses talk for why you want a Russian Gal?  Of course! They're hot, they're sexy, their weird little quirks make us love and hate them, and can't live without them (only slightly exaggerated)...

 Ok, I'll go first...

Hello, I'm Daveman, and I am addicted to Russian Women.  They're Hot, Sexy, and I love and hate them, but can't seem to get them out of my mind.. and by gawd I'ma gonna ketch me won...   

SO try it.. "Hello I'm Spectris..."

You bunch o' chickens.. just admit the truth...  :evil:

[Steamer]

After my divorce I dated for about 7 yrs and decided to get married again but didn't want to repeat the same mistakes. My ex and all the women I dated were lay-abouts with low drive and expectations. I wanted to live an above average life style and I needed a wife that was willing to work and contribute to the cause as I do. My thinking was that a woman from the FSU would also be motivated to create a good life for herself and her kids.

I knew that life and marriages never come with any guarantee but if someone has an equal stake in the marriage then perhaps they will not have such a flip attitude about divorce.

[JR]

Be cautious with that attitude Steamer, many FSUW are more into the "traditional" definitation of married couple than AM, ie: the man is the bread winner and the woman takes care of the home.

[ML]

By baggage, I mean problematic x's, grandchildren, an all -consuming career, a host of family "traditions" that have to be honored, and well - baggage. 

Selfish I realize since SHE will have to leave her family, friends, job, etc.  But you just can't (well, I couldn't anyway even w/ a huge amount of searching) find someone like this in the US.  But guess what, there are women there that meet this criteria in that part of the world - so I suppose it depends on what you are looking for. 

I think you are dreaming here.

These baggage problems you mention are cropping up more and more with the FSU women I am in contact with. 

And these baggage problems will be even  more of a problem to deal with when  you are with a FSU woman here in USA . . . because the grandchildren as well as sick parents, grandparents, etc.,  . . . will be several thousand  miles alway meaning a lot of time away from you, and big travel bucks in the years to come.

[2tallbill]

For whatever reason FSUM seem to think that FSUW turn into spoiled
milk after they reach a certain age.

If you are a normal guy, educated, articulate with a sense of humor, patient
focused and want to find an over 30 pretty, slim, well educated, interesting
woman who can find Austria on a map and not ask about the Kangaroos then
FSU seems to be the place to find one, simply because the men there don't value
them. Any woman here, there, or anywhere wants to feel loved, wanted and valued. 

Just my two kopecks,

Bill

[veritas]

Thanks, Bill ...

BTW, I'm absolutely fascinated with your avatar ... Is that a "real-life" clip??

Kevin

[Eduard]

My story is different from most posters, but my reasoning for marrying a RW is probably similar to many. To start with I was born and raised in Russia and by the time I immigrated to the USA I had a few "serious" girlfriends and quite a few non-serious ones behind my belt...I was 19...
I met my first wife (AW) in college when I was 20 and she was 18. She was a nice, decent girl from IL with good Midwestern values and we were together for about 15.5 years. Eventually we grew apart and went our separate ways but remained friends. As I was going through a divorce with her (at age 36) I met a 30 yo girl from Moldova, right here on the beach in Tampa bay area, where I live. There was an instant spark there. She was also going through a divorce from her husband (also from Moldova). She was beautiful and there was great chemistry between us but she just had this thing about her - she'd always tell you what you wanted to hear at the time whether it was true or not. I knew from the beginning that I couldn't really trust her, but we continued dating and after about a year she moved in with me. Truth is I was addicted to her beautiful body and great sex. Also there was no other options who could come even close to her both in looks or intellectually here, where I live. Sadly I only found the strength to break this relationship off only after about 6 years together and when her lying just got to be too much for me to handle.

And here I found myself single, 43yo man in Tampa Bay - the land of retired folks with purple hair   Off course I put up my personals ad on match and yahoo, went to singles bars, dance clubs, book stores, and other venues with no luck at all. The only women that were hitting on me were late 40s and 50s. This area is a bit unique because the single women here are either really young 18-20 and around 50. Practically nothing in between. You go to a singles bar and you see a 100 guys and 15 women. And out of these 15, 5 are around 50 yo, 7 are obese, and the other 3 were in my age range and not fat. Now if I had Arnold's physique and Tom Cruise's face I probably would have a shot at those 3...but... I'll tell you this though, I get a lot more "interested", flirting looks from RW when I go to Russia/Ukraine now, at 50 and being 35lbs heavier, than I ever had gotten in Tampa Bay from local women (under 50) when I was single, 43, worked out every day, did marshal arts and generally decent looking.
This was a dry spell of a century and the only memorable dates I had were with a couple of Russian women that I met locally. At that time I also made the trip to Moscow, Russia for the first time in 20 plus years, to visit my dad. When we went for a walk he must have seen my eyes popping out and head spinning like I was a hungry owl, because he asked me, why are you looking at girls like that? After I explained the situation at home to him, he said: "Now do you understand why I never remarried after your mother and I split up? I just couldn't settle for one woman when there are so many all around".  While on that trip I met a beautiful petite blondie with pouty lips and gorgeous bedroom eyes. But after spending a few days with her I understood that she was just too young and immature for me (22yo). Yes at this point I wasn't looking for a quick roll in the hay, but I really was ready for marriage and really wanted to have kids. I had to get back to Florida because of my work but at this point I knew that my search for a woman locally was over and that I was going to look in Russia.

For a while I contemplated moving back to Moscow, where I was born, but then I decided against it for 2 reasons. 1. I love Florida lifestyle, living out in the country, beautiful beaches and summer all year around. 2. I was afraid that if I moved to Moscow I would have a hard time committing to just one woman and creating a family with her. With all the options there and all the temptations, I'd feel like a proverbial "kid in a candy store". So I made the decision to look for a wife in Russia and bring her to the USA on a K-1 visa.

Well this is my honest account on "why did I decide to look for a RW". How I did it and what happened since is another story...  

[Daveman]

The employment/work related posts were split into a new thread here:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=12402.msg243923;topicseen#msg243923

I think you are dreaming here.

These baggage problems you mention are cropping up more and more with the FSU women I am in contact with. 

And these baggage problems will be even  more of a problem to deal with when  you are with a FSU woman here in USA . . . because the grandchildren as well as sick parents, grandparents, etc.,  . . . will be several thousand  miles alway meaning a lot of time away from you, and big travel bucks in the years to come.

I agree with this and this is especially true in women 40+. 

Everyone carries a bit of baggage with them (you, me, RWD, FSUW, AW, etc etc).

"Baggage" is a euphemism for a negative perception(s) of experience, deeply ingrained by iterative/reiterative thought, or neuroassociation with emotional pain.  So, it's really nothing more than a recorded perception of experience associated with the pain response, and as most everyone knows, any association with "pain" can be both irrational and severely limiting leading to varying levels of dysfunction.

okay, enough psychobabble...   what does that really mean related to one's search for a woman in the FSU?  It means just pay attention to details.  There's a LOT of dysfunctional baggage in the FSU.  Many women, especially those 40+ who have lived through some very difficult times, some being abandoned by their men while they still had small children, etc etc, have serious problems with issues of Trust.  Sometimes one can earn trust, and sometimes it's truly a exercise in futility. For example, if a woman never gives you the benefit of the doubt, you will always have a dysfunctional relationship.  You cannot cure her. 

I rarely speak in absolutes, but this is one of them.  You'll run into this a LOT over there. 

Don't rationalize away goofy behavior.. 1st RWD 1:23

[spectris]

Aw, come on 'dare to dream' right?  What's the purpose of pursuing someone - anyone - if there is not some dream (hope?) of something better?  How's that for psychobabble?

Anyway, of course everyone has baggage - and a woman is a woman and a man is a man in any country of the world.  I was assuming everyone kind of accepted that at face value.  The difference (I'm hoping) in the FSU is the life experience is far different for 35+ year old women than for 35+ year old AW (under 30 years of age, I have no idea why any guy in the US would even consider this, but I'm old so...).

6,000 miles and 20+ hours of flying (8 time zones) puts a lot of separation between the person and the "baggage" I assure you - and this baggage doesn't have to be perceived as negatively as Daveman posted - its just life and absolutely I have far more than I'm proud of - but I'm honest about it and if its too much for someone, they should move on..

One more thing - this "FSU World" is always referred to or implied to be some magical other world on this board.  Why?  Is it really that different from the Czech Republic, Brazil, Columbia  - wherever (all have beautiful, English speaking women that would love to live in America)?  All are "magical" by someones standards I imagine.  For me, I just want to find someone that I'm compatible with (and that likes me - a huge plus btw) and I'm trying to do it with my eyes open for a change. 

[Daveman]

Interesting that you found my comment to be negative. It wasn't really meant that way... it was meant more like this:

...and I'm trying to do it with my eyes open for a change. 

Annnnnnd, that's the point! 

[Misha]

6,000 miles and 20+ hours of flying (8 time zones) puts a lot of separation between the person and the "baggage" I assure you

Nah, the baggage is still there, simply packed in the new suitcases called culture shock and homesickness 

[LanaRUS]

For whatever reason FSUM seem to think that FSUW turn into spoiled
milk after they reach a certain age.

If you are a normal guy, educated, articulate with a sense of humor, patient
focused and want to find an over 30 pretty, slim, well educated, interesting
woman who can find Austria on a map and not ask about the Kangaroos then
FSU seems to be the place to find one, simply because the men there don't value
them. Any woman here, there, or anywhere wants to feel loved, wanted and valued. 

Just my two kopecks,

Bill

 

[Shadow]

For whatever reason FSUM seem to think that FSUW turn into spoiled
milk after they reach a certain age.

Which is why 45+ WM who look ten years younger are looking for 25-30 year old women and would not consider the 40-year olds, especially those at home. 
Men are the same everywhere, just like women. 

[Maniac999]

Well, I think RW 40+are guilty in it too.
 Go on search 40+ RW on a dating site.
 The older is the woman , then less she does care of her appearance.Fat, baggie clothes, too much cosmetics, ugly haircuts.
 Pictures are non-professional ( could be great to see in profile a mixture of professional and daily light photoshots)
 If they stopped looking after themselves long time ago.. who will need them?
 If they do not investigate money in their appearance , who will do it ?
 Why not to go to a hairdresser, professional visagist , why not to use professional photographier ?
 Correct.. that worth money , right? When you want to get a result , you have to make efforts and spend the money!
 Otherwise the gallery of 40+ women looks more like a gallery of retired people.
 
 

[Shadow]

Well, I think RW 40+are guilty in it too.
 Go on search 40+ RW on a dating site.
 The older is the woman , then less she does care of her appearance.Fat, baggie clothes, too much cosmetics, ugly haircuts.
 Pictures are non-professional ( could be great to see in profile a mixture of professional and daily light photoshots)
 If they stopped looking after themselves long time ago.. who will need them?
 If they do not investigate money in their appearance , who will do it ?
 Why not to go to a hairdresser, professional visagist , why not to use professional photographier ?
 Correct.. that worth money , right? When you want to get a result , you have to make efforts and spend the money!
 Otherwise the gallery of 40+ women looks more like a gallery of retired people.

Sure, men who look like your avatar are attractive by nature... but women need to go the extra mile. 

[Maniac999]

 Wow, what's an answer!
You are paying so much attention to my avatar-are you so much attracted by my look?
You can contact me any time you want ,Mr.Dog, see, what will happened !