Ukraine/Russian women or Latin women....

[dbneeley]

Kapitanetc.:

This pursuit is not for the faint of heart or the indecisive. The "wishy-washy" need not apply--FSUW would not be impressed, as they often speak of wanting a "real man"--by which they mean one who can actually make a decision and go for it. They want a man they can respect.

If you have negative thoughts and doubts now, then by all means stay home or look elsewhere. This may simply not be for you. What you have written seems to be in the way of excuses for non-action. ("FSUW aren't cheery enough with strangers; women in Latin America aren't as attractive, and besides it's a whole 16 hour flight to get there!")

If I had to guess, I'd reckon that where you live now there are other problems with the women. Are you absolutely sure you want to marry at all, or does the prospect simply scare you?

Sorry if this seems harsh, but I have seen it so many times before it is a very old story.

If you're in your mid 40s and have not been married, perhaps you should take a serious self inventory and ask why that might be.

After my first marriage ended in divorce, I understood that I was far from prepared to marry again. I also recognized that there were some things I had to work on myself before I would be prepared to be a contributing part of the kind of marriage I wanted--what I didn't anticipate was that it would take quite so many years. Still, I persisted--I read self-help books, I had a little counseling, and I made many female friends with whom I gained both experience and advice (while making clear that friendship was all I was prepared for at the time, so there were no false expectations.) Thus, I was single for 24 years after my divorce before I married again--not something I recommend, but in my case it was probably best.

One of the major things I learned was the absolute importance of being honest with myself.

The simple fact is that there are wonderful ladies everywhere. Those of us who are intrigued by other cultures, while a minority, can certainly find some fabulous options. However, in the end it is clear that some elements of character and personality are critical for long-term success.

In your case, I think you are wise to realize that your frequent long absences would be very difficult for a lady from another culture than where you happen to live. During the early stages, they are strongly dependent upon you--and flying off for days at a time will place an additional burden upon them.

Thus, I have a suggestion: consider living in the FSU and commuting to your base. I know pilots in America who live far away from their operating base, and commute back and forth about the same distance as you are speaking of between your current home and the FSU cities of Ukraine. Otherwise, I greatly fear the chances of success over any sort of reasonable time frame are much reduced.

As a pilot, you must make life or death decisions very quickly at times. Why is it so difficult to make decisions in your personal life?

David

[Kapitanleutnant]

Dearest David....

First of all, I thought your post was uncalled for and child-like.   

Have you ever met me?   Your name doesn't ring a bell with me so I'm presuming your answer is no.   How do you think it is that you would know anything about me?    From a few posts????   Seriously???    Do you know how old I am?   Yet you make a comment about me being in my 40's and taking inventory....???   

Being honest with ones self, eh?   Have you considered that MIGHT BE why I'm asking for all of your opinions so that I can get a take on the whole thing?   If you read any of my earlier posts, you'll know I did this once back a few years ago with the visa etc.    Great concept, didn't work.   I did my homework back then and I'm doing it now with help from some very nice gents who have offered a guidance.   

You know what.... from now on, it wouldn't hurt my feelings if when you see a post of mine that you just skip it and go on to the next and not post any replies.   Clear enough!

K

[dbneeley]

Dearest David....

First of all, I thought your post was uncalled for and child-like.   

Have you ever met me?   Your name doesn't ring a bell with me so I'm presuming your answer is no.   How do you think it is that you would know anything about me?    From a few posts????   Seriously???    Do you know how old I am?   Yet you make a comment about me being in my 40's and taking inventory....???   

Being honest with ones self, eh?   Have you considered that MIGHT BE why I'm asking for all of your opinions so that I can get a take on the whole thing?   If you read any of my earlier posts, you'll know I did this once back a few years ago with the visa etc.    Great concept, didn't work.   I did my homework back then and I'm doing it now with help from some very nice gents who have offered a guidance.   

You know what.... from now on, it wouldn't hurt my feelings if when you see a post of mine that you just skip it and go on to the next and not post any replies.   Clear enough!

K

Your answer should serve any level-headed type with all the evidence they need that I was correct for the most part.

As for "middle forties" that was easy, in that you said you were 36 when you "tried this earlier" ten years ago. Last I heard, that would make you mid to late 40s.

As for "reading a few posts"--that is the nature of a discussion board. However, often a poster can be quite revealing even in such a limited exposure. The parts I alluded to seem to have touched a few nerves, which is more revealing still.

Not all advice you seek may be what you want to hear, but it also may be what you need to hear. If all you want is "attaboys" then you have definitely come to the wrong place.

David

[Kapitanleutnant]

David....

Wrong on pretty much all counts.   I'm 52.   You may have missed some of my previous posts.   I said that I wish I had met that girl 10 years later than I did... it would have had a better if not different possible outcome.

So... do you know me?   Still wondering how you think you know what's in my mind etc.... 

I'm not going to come down to your level so let's just agree to disagree and because we do disagree, we don't have to be disagreeable, eh?   

K

[chivo]

I happen to be Latin. Having grown up with a bunch and having had my share of Latin women I can say they are wonderful women/people. I prefer Slavs though, and can tell you they are a riot to be around although you wouldn't know it by just looking at them. Don't judge a book by its cover.

Both can be fiery when provoked so I wouldn't give the edge to any in that department. I love women, period. So it comes down to your preference, why ask us? I say pick your poison and die a happy man.

[tfcrew]

  I thought your post was uncalled for and child-like.   

  ... you make a comment about me being in my 40's and taking inventory....???   

Tone there?
From the post in question the statement was..

If you're in your mid 40s and have not been married, perhaps you should take a serious self inventory and ask why that might be.

 I fail to see any 'uncalled for' feelings in that response.
dbneely .. as an established member here ..has hardly ever been 'disagreeable' that I have seen.
In direct reply I will say that I didn't intend to reply to this thread at all.
Latin America [unfortunately] bares a ring of caution there as of lately.
There have been instances of kidnappings.
Further..........
If someone is really interested in a foreign bride...the 'bride' aspect of the woman is the prime key to a relationship.
I would love my wife no matter from where she came.

Karl

[Gylden]

Why not shop Asian? I hear they are more obedient.
 

[Faux Pas]

Why not shop Asian? I hear they are more obedient.
 

Or African. You'd be surprised what a pound of beans, rice and corn meal can achieve 

[Doll]

I agree (again) that Russian women are not easy to deal with.Not sure though that Latin women are much easier- they are just different.
To me RW seem to be more sincere.
The best choice would be AW- they smile, they are more independent, they know what they want.

[Jumper]

I agree (again) that Russian women are not easy to deal with.Not sure though that Latin women are much easier- they are just different.
To me RW seem to be more sincere.
The best choice would be AW- they smile, they are more independent, they know what they want.

Doll,
AW are likely an 8 to 10 hour flight for him!!! 

So I think German or perhaps Austrian  is closer , and probably "know what they want" as much as anyone else truly does.
 


Sorry KL, the thread seems a bit tense,a  few have  taken the liberty to add in a little comic relief...

[Doll]

OK, I mean local women.

[ML]

Once again, why limit yourself ? Write to every woman on the planet that you are interested in, find which ones (or one) you feel best connected to and visit them to see if the electronich chemistry can be translated in to real life.
Who cares where she lives now, in which country or city ? Why care what her background, ethnic race, education or whatever other criteria are ?

All you need is one single woman who will make you feel special, one who you know you can spend the rest of your life with no matter if she gets old and you become prettier with age...
She may live in Southern America, the may live in Donetsk, or she may live next door to you.
Do not exclude anything, and keep the best.

Although this and other similar advice sounds high minded, it is  not of much use to the average man.

There is simply not enough time in one's life to 'write every woman on planet . . . .' and other such things that entail including everyone initially.

So I  think the OP and others are on the right track when they can identify some physical and mental characteristics that they desire, and then search in areas of the world where those traits are thought to be more common.

Sure you can probably find a blond in central Africa, but why be silly about it.

If you are looking for vegetables, you might find some at a lumber yard just as a fluke for a weekend, but better off to go to a farmers market.

[Daveman]

How many RW does it take to change a light bulb?






No one actually knows because it's a phenomenon which has yet to be documented or proved to have occurred....

1) they refuse to actually admit the damn thing is actually out (because they didn't say it first)
2) too busy complaining about the sudden inexplicable darkness (which is obviously YOUR fault)
3) a friend (RW) has yet to come by to tell them that it's the bulb (you do NOT have sense enough to determine that - refer to Number 1 )
4) the light magically reappears due to an overabundance of Number 2 (pun obviously intended)
5) besides, Russia has better light
6) it's just all wrong

feel free to add your own!

SO yeah buddy, go the Latin, Asian, or African routes!   :evil:

[Misha]

I'm worried these girls will be rather cold in general.   Yes, I know it's part of their culture.

No, it isn't. A woman being "rather cold" is generally a sign that she isn't into you or it is simply her personality. Either way, has nothing to do with culture. Also, if you speak the language, Russians have a wonderful sense of humor. It is harder for humor, however, to come through in your second or third language 

[Misha]

I am going to get lombasted but I happen to agree with you that Russian Ukrainian women can be cold.  my opinion is that they are far too materialistic, and are very cold and calculating about always looking for a better deal.

Some yes, most no. Simply a question of being able to identify and avoid such women.

I think that either she does not know how to smile, does not have a good sense of humor, and/or needs $5000.00 worth of dental work, of which you will be expected to pay for.

A photo is merely a photo. What counts is what a woman is like in real life. Photos may be misleading  As for the dental work, fortunately my plan at work pays for that 

Russians have the annoying habit of walking around you as if you are not there, when you are standing in line for something.  clerks at stores are too lazy too count change, and/or are instructed not to by their bosses.

Fortunately, I married my wife and not a live-in store clerk  Sure service is generally pretty lousy in Russia, and my wife will be the first to recount the horrors based on her last trip to Russia, but in my experience this is not a good indicator of how women will behave once they are in the privacy of their own homes with a man they love 

[LAman]

Being 'cold' is a relative term.....from where I grew up, you are asked 'how is it going' or 'Hi' with a smile even by strangers, so going to some FSU countries of course socially looks like it is frigid.
My def of stangers.....it is only people you have not met yet.

I have been run over, pushed aside and hurried up by many individuals, lady or men, going into buses, into stores, in and out of planes. It is like every person for themselves. I do think with a friend or family, it would be different than with the masses.
This reminds me of a flight from MOW-LA, as the flight is landing, wheels touch ground, everybody claps and cheers and in next instant everybody gets up from seats open luggage compartments..to be first out of plane.......all the while we are still at 100mph on runway!!!!!

[ML]

Either way, has nothing to do with culture.

Misha, you know much, much better than this.

There are certainly cultures where the people are much, much warmer (colder) in general than in other cutures.

Why deny such basic truths just because one's loved one is from a certain area.

[Misha]

There are certainly cultures where the people are much, much warmer (colder) in general than in other cutures.

Sorry, this is complete and utter BS. As we are one species, all humans are pretty much capable of all the same emotions. The only difference: how and when emotions can be displayed varies from culture to culture. In the case of Russia, yes people won't be smiling as often on the street surrounded by strangers. However, if you are at their homes, everybody will be smiling, laughing, making jokes and having a lot of fun. In other words, Russians are very different in their private homes and lives than they are when out and about whether on the bus or working as a clerk in a store. But, even then, there will be considerable variation between individuals in the same culture.

Why deny such basic truths just because one's loved one is from a certain area.

What basic truths? They are stereotypes founded on ignorance. If you speak Russian and get to know Russians and spend time with them in their daily lives, you will quickly discover that they are neither cold nor humorless.

[Misha]

Being 'cold' is a relative term.....from where I grew up, you are asked 'how is it going' or 'Hi' with a smile even by strangers, so going to some FSU countries of course socially looks like it is frigid.

Again, this is based on simply seeing people on the street. If you invited to a Russian's home, you will often be treated with greater warmth and conviviality than your average North American....

[Doll]

I agree with Misha- people have same emotions but express them in many different ways.
Again, if you want it 'your way"- go for the local women.
It took me years to see real feelings behind American smiles.

[Misha]

Again, if you want it 'your way"- go for the local women.

Good advice!

[Doll]

  My younger has been here since he was 8 years old, he is 17 now. Of course, I know the boy- he is cheerful and friendly. Guess what? Yet, he doesn't have this American habit to constantly smile. He only smiles when he is really happy- just how all Russians are.
Does it make him a gloomy person? No way. He is just different in expressing his feelings.

  Neither him or me do this "ahhowcuuuuuuuteahhowsweeeeeeeeeet" thing at any occasion.
Do we see something or somebody is cute or sweet? We sure do. We just don't tend to "scream" about it.
Russians are more reserved in public, that's all.
You don't like it? Oh, well.

[ML]

Misha and Doll, why must you persist in this when you are both very intelligent and know for a certainty that there are massive differences, in general, in the warmth of people from different cultures.  This difference exists whether in private or in public.

Picture yourself going to dinner in the home of a random Italian family whether in Italy or in USA.

Now, picture yourself going to dinner in the home of a random Finnish Lutheran family whether in Finland or USA.

All this BS about getting to know the people more, private vs public, etc., is hogwash. 

There are massive differences.

Note, I am not saying one is bad and one is good, and I haven't even stated my preference.  I am just saying there obvious differences to any objective observer who is not merely trying to protect a culture they feel is being attacked.

[Doll]

ManLooking, Misha and I do NOT contradict you- people (cultures) are different in their ways of expressing feelings. British are as welcoming as Italians, but both show it in a different way.
 The key word is "show".
This "show" is what the OP is talking about.
RW are not "cold", they don't show their feelings as much as AW (or whoever else).

[I/O]

K/L: Excusing oneself here, it's Sunday morning, Mrs and kids asleep and I have time for a rant..............The usual bullsch!t abounds in this thread, much of it from those with no experience (in the given comparative fields) and some from those who think they have some experience (I probably fall into the latter group), whilst anyone who actually knows what they are talking about has enough sense to remain silent.

Being of 100 % Deutz blood, perhaps more so than your name implies you even could be, having lived mid or longer term with Asian, Latin American and now married to a Russian, mix in with that, 10 years of marriage with an Australian I'll claim some qualifications on the "generalizing" subject as it might relate to you, a deal doer of sorts I suspect (as we all are to some extent). Furthermore, all 4 hitherto referred have university degrees as a minimum and the foreign women have 2 or more degrees, in the case of the Latina and the Asian, one being gained outside their own country. obviously all, either bi or tri lingual.

The smile or lack there of. Understand why (The resident RW here will probably challenge / correct this but it was the most logical explanation given me by several Russians). A smile is related to humour right? Generally humour is related to something funny right (no brainer)? You greet someone new and smile at them (we see it as smiling to or with them, they don't), you are suggesting they are funny, perhaps ridiculous as they have made no comment to you yet, therefore you are making fun of them so to say. Get it? It's a cultural quirk one learns to deal with. It does NOT imply a coldness in my experience. I will go no further on this type fo subject because it is an example of a million cultural things you will need to get your head around and NONE of those should be confused with a rude person, an uneducated person or a materialistic grabber, all of which do exist in Russia, just learn to understand the differences. Way too much is passed off as cultural when in reality a b!tch is a b!tch no matter which way you lay (pun intended) her.

RW can be a volatile bunch in exactly the same way as Latinas and Asians are (read Chivo's post up thread, IMO he is spot on) but the litmus test IMO is how that volatility plays out during a knock down, drag out argument. My experience is thus, the Asian will scream and shout then sulk for a week. The Latina will scream and shout for 3 days and then sulk for about a day. The Russian will start out arguing somewhat logically then become emotionally charged, then probably scream or shout a little (for an hour or so), go toe to toe with you, not give an inch and tomorrow go along with everything you were pushing for, often with smile (but you must never metion it) and a few weeks later when you're least expecting it, she'll throw up how she was correct even though she is now doing exactly the opposite to her claimed position during the argument.

As for hot or not to look at, perhaps I have simply been lucky or there is a common thread, who knows but all the aforementioned have or had some modeling experience (modeling doesn't always dictate beautiful but certainly models must learn to carry themselves and must have a pretty decent figure at a minimum). Suffice to say they are / were all fairly "hot looking" women.

16 hours to meet, feeble. Mrs I/O and I aways suffered between 38 and 56 hours of planes trains and automobiles to gain skin sensations. A b!tch is never far enough away and a honey is never too far a way as it were. My summary, the Australian legged it with a disproportionately large sum of cash and assets (driven entirely by her parents) and has lived unhappily alone ever since, supporting those parents, odd to say the least. The Asian, I quickly understood the sulking was too much for me. The Latina was a blast of a person to be around and remains one of the finest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing but the hotness was perhaps too hot for me to handle (I need to slow it all down at times) and I concluded there was someone more suitable for both of us out there, oddly, she remains single albeit if she constantly has a line up of suitors. The Russian is way too hot to be "handled" and is more than a match for me in any toe to toe argument. Any women who can be as in my face as she is, never taking a backward step (I mean NEVER), yet can love me emotionally and physically like There is no tomorrow is someone I cannot imagine living without, she's my poison.