Vincenzo's thread and Mamba debate

[Vincenzo]

I read earlier that you were in Odessa, so you've been on the ground there, I take it to meet this particular lady your sister warns you about?  If this is the only lady you've ever met, and it lasts all the way to marriage, AND you bring her over, and it lasts after that, then you are very fortunate. 

I've been to other places as well.
I went to Odessa because I have friends from Odessa. There I realized that I should do more homework before I go somewhere.

I met girls from Mamba in Samara. They were not serious. It seemed that they had boyfriends because they were "sick" a few days and postponed our meetings.

[Daveman]

I've been to other places as well.
I went to Odessa because I have friends from Odessa. There I realized that I should do more homework before I go somewhere.

I met girls from Mamba in Samara. They were not serious. It seemed that they had boyfriends because they were "sick" a few days and postponed our meetings.

It's interesting how personal experiences vary greatly in this grand pursuit.   Mamba works, EM works, hell, even Anastasia works in some cases (so I've read anyway, from a select few)... they also all have failure rates, depending upon how one plays the game and who joins in the hand. 

[Vincenzo]

There is no way of ever MAKING anyone fall in love. U can be yourself, u can try to pretend...u can do whatever u want or think is right to do, but u can't make anyone fall in love. She/He either falls in love or doesnt. Tertium non datum

How many times a day do you exchange glances with handsome guys?
None of you want to do something and you just go your ways.
Love was possible.

[Misha]

I met girls from Mamba in Samara. They were not serious. It seemed that they had boyfriends because they were "sick" a few days and postponed our meetings.

I am confused. Did you meet them or did you not meet them? When they postponed your meetings, was this after you met them? Is it simply because they did not want to meet your for a second date?

[Sky_Blood]

How many times a day do you exchange glances with handsome guys?
None of you want to do something and you just go your ways.
Love was possible.

Never tried to count.
Its natural that girls in their early 20s wanna go their ways, enjoy life and live it to its fullest, isnt it?

[Rubicon]

Never tried to count.
Its natural that girls in their early 20s wanna go their ways, enjoy life and live it to its fullest, isnt it?

he is trying to say that you might have missed opportunity for love....

[Sky_Blood]

he is trying to say that you might have missed opportunity for love....

I got it. I just mean that girls prefer not to apriori see(take) every guy they date(like, flirt, sleep with...etc) as a great love. U can't miss opportunity for love, cuz if it strikes u...u forget about everything(at least for some period of time)
Don't blame girls for being not serious or smth, we just don't wanna get hurt.

[Patagonie]

Not only a photo, hundreds of photos, also videos and online Skype, her letters, etc.
Yes, my sister told me that the girl was very beautiful and I could get burned. That's life, at least I should try.

How to make her fall in love with me and maintain the fire? That's my biggest problem now. When I go there, I'll be at the same level as local men. I must do something beforehand.

AND

I don't like boring girls. I think it's true for girls.

When I communicate, I try to show that I'm not boring.
I wrote in my profile that I like humor and I try to tell jokes.
I wrote that I like music and I play the guitar.

But the most important thing is attention. For example, flowers sent by a man to a woman mean a lot. They're a sign of attention.

Do you really think that you have answer to my (YOURS) questions Vincenzo ?
Your main fear is here : "How to make her fall in love with me and maintain the fire? That's my biggest problem now. When I go there, I'll be at the same level as local men. I must do something beforehand."
And you have no shited idea of what to do, no analysis, no action plan.
Your nightmare is here :How to make her fall in love with me and maintain the fire?
I ask you again the question : what are you suppose to do : AFTER YOU HAD PUT YOUR ASS IN THE PLANE ?
Think about, inform us.
 

[Vincenzo]

I ask you again the question : what are you suppose to do : AFTER YOU HAD PUT YOUR ASS IN THE PLANE ?
Think about, inform us.

Normally, at that stage she and you must be in virtual love already.

But the answer is in one word: "romance".
Flowers must travel with you - it's more romantic when flowers are from "there".
A poem with her name must be remembered.
Chocolates from "there" must be beautifully packed to be shared together.
The list goes on and on.

Ideally, it should look like this.
[youtube]f7Unnx5eLbk[/youtube]

But don't allow a bad guy with jewels to take her away when you leave.

[Vincenzo]

I got it. I just mean that girls prefer not to apriori see(take) every guy they date(like, flirt, sleep with...etc) as a great love. U can't miss opportunity for love, cuz if it strikes u...u forget about everything(at least for some period of time)
Don't blame girls for being not serious or smth, we just don't wanna get hurt.

You made an eye contact.
It can be transfered into the love of your life if the guy makes the first step and does something.

It's the same when a guy receives 50 messages from girls. They are ready for love if the guy acts properly.

[Misha]

A bad guy with jewels?!? Vincenzo, what do mean by this?

[Alex from Ukraine]

Romance may be very important for a teenage girl, but for women who want to start a family that's not a big deal really. Women need financial stability, so they can be sure that their kids will have good start in life. Ukrainian woman may even fall in love with a romantic guy, but she will never get married to him if he only has few dollars in his pocket. Women here are very progmatic now.

[Patagonie]

Romance may be very important for a teenage girl, but for women who want to start a family that's not a big deal really. Women need financial stability, so they can be sure that their kids will have good start in life. Ukrainian woman may even fall in love with a romantic guy, but she will never get married to him if he only has few dollars in his pocket. Women here are very progmatic now.

Well said.
Women in fact are really less romantic than boys. They are linked with the reality (or theirs interests).
And half of the guys (but Alex i think that you are enough well informed) are not financially enough secure to provide well.
So 10% only are visiting and half don't provide well = 5%

[Vincenzo]

A bad guy with jewels?!? Vincenzo, what do mean by this?

You should watch the movie.
When the girl's lover goes to the army, a jeweler appears. The girl's mother nags at her and tells her to marry the rich guy.

[Misha]

You should watch the movie.
When the girl's lover goes to the army, a jeweler appears. The girl's mother nags at her and tells her to marry the rich guy.

Life isn't a movie. It shouldn't be complicated. The main steps to follow IMHO:

• Don't fall in love with a photo.
• Find a woman who is a reasonable match
• Go visit her
• Dazzle her with your personality
• If she likes you, go on a second date
• If she doesn't find someone else and start over.

Don't get so worked up about romance and finding ways of making women fall in love with you. It happens or it doesn't. If it doesn't move on.

[Vincenzo]

Why would I look for a reasonable match when I've found a perfect match?

Yes, there are taller or skinnier or whatever girls. I don't care about them.
I've been with beautiful girls, many of them were boring.
Now I value intelligence and ability to communicate for long time on different topics.

[Misha]

No, you don't know if you found a perfect match. You have found a woman that you think is a perfect match. Only meeting in person and have spent some time with her will you have a better idea as to whether she might truly be a "perfect" match.

[remiel6]

Hey Alex, I am happy to see everything is going well for you. I owe a good deal of my own happiness to you. I wish you and your wife well.
Thanks always

[Daveman]

No, you don't know if you found a perfect match. You have found a woman that you think is a perfect match. Only meeting in person and have spent some time with her will you have a better idea as to whether she might truly be a "perfect" match.

I agree with this completely...  she may be perfect now but later transform before your very eyes into the Daughter of Satan (or you may be Beelzebub, and she just don't see it yet).  Or merely be incompatible long term.


The first meeting will blow up in your face of be somewhat to very euphoric... the second period of face to face time will be much more enlightening..  then any face time after that will be pretty much a normal growing relationship.  I'm also an advocate of extended visits if there's any way possible to pull it off. 

[OmegaSupreme]

Just to pipe in with my own 2 cents...

I've used Mamba quite a bit, and it does have a very large selection of women. The problem is in filtering out what you're looking for. The interface is horrid, too, which certainly doesn't help.

I've had more luck on freepersonals.ru, which is another free site. I'm even currently seeing (albeit not seriously as of yet) a Polish girl I met on there. I wouldn't say it's database even comes close to the size of Mamba's, but I've had much better luck on there. Also, the site is more geared for international dating, whereas Mamba takes a one-size-fits-all approach. I only briefly skimmed Alex's site, but if he put in tools that helps in narrowing down a search for women who are looking internationally, then that would be a good thing.

But then again, I'm just a keyboard romeo, so take my free advice for how much it's costing you.

[Vincenzo]

I agree with this completely...  she may be perfect now but later transform before your very eyes into the Daughter of Satan (or you may be Beelzebub, and she just don't see it yet).  Or merely be incompatible long term.

A meeting is important, and I've bought a ticket. Summer is good for traveling to Russia.

I don't agree with the attitude that nothing should be done before a real meeting happens.
Also, I don't understand people who rush from one 1-hour meeting to another. What can they get during this hour?

My plan: devote a lot of time for chatting and skyping, spend at least a week together to know each other. After we skyped, she'll feel more comfortable meeting with me and going to different places. Ideally, we'll be able to go to a hiking trip together. I don't consider a restaurant meeting to be a good test of our compatibility. But she won't go anywhere if I come as a complete stranger who has written just a couple letters.
 

[Misha]

I don't agree with the attitude that nothing should be done before a real meeting happens.

It's not that nothing can be done, but nothing you can do will guarantee that there will be chemistry, that she will fall in love, that you will fall in love. Simply put, there is IMHO as much chance that the date will flop as there being instant chemistry. Plus, there is the danger that a man will ignore all the obvious warning signs and red flags because they have projected a fantasy onto the women they really, really, really want to believe is "perfect" for them 

Also, I don't understand people who rush from one 1-hour meeting to another. What can they get during this hour?

You can get quite a bit actually. Usually, you know if she is worth pursuing in that hour and you know whether there will be chemistry and whether there will be mutual interest and attraction.

But she won't go anywhere if I come as a complete stranger who has written just a couple letters.

The thing is, most women in Russia will go on dates with men they have met only briefly or have only chatted shortly online. The whole purpose of a date is to get to know a person and figure out whether she is worth pursuing.

[Daveman]

A meeting is important, and I've bought a ticket. Summer is good for traveling to Russia.

I don't agree with the attitude that nothing should be done before a real meeting happens.
Also, I don't understand people who rush from one 1-hour meeting to another. What can they get during this hour?

My plan: devote a lot of time for chatting and skyping, spend at least a week together to know each other. After we skyped, she'll feel more comfortable meeting with me and going to different places. Ideally, we'll be able to go to a hiking trip together. I don't consider a restaurant meeting to be a good test of our compatibility. But she won't go anywhere if I come as a complete stranger who has written just a couple letters.

Cool deal that you are ready to go. I truly hope it works out long term.  I didn't suggest that nothing should be done before a real meeting happens.  Get to know as much as you can about her.  Your first real life meeting will go one of three ways:

• nowhere - all that time in preparation is for naught because there just isn't any real chemistry in person and that's that.
• it's okay - no real fireworks, but you've invested so much time into it that you feel you must continue - same end result.
• euphoria - where everything seems to be perfect and objects in mirror may appear to be more perfect than they really are

So even if it does go rock-ass well -- there's a reason most who have gone before you suggest at LEAST a second visit and preferably an extended visit if you can work it out -- even if everything seems perfect.  The second visit is when you start to see what is really between you sans the euphoria tinted glasses.  That's my point there. 


It's your life, your choices. 


As far as the 1-hour meetings, those are basically just "viewing profiles in person" as mentioned up thread.  Seeing if there is initial attraction/chemistry and then continuing from there if there is.  Nothing wrong with that. It's just different from how you want to do it.


Feeling comfortable:  You don't really understand FSUW.  Yeah, maybe there's a timid, paranoid woman over there somewhere.. but trust me.. your chances of meeting her are about 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 1.  She'll decide within minutes (most likely seconds) whether she likes you and if she does, she'll pretty much go wherever you ask and lead her (within reason).  That "need time to feel comfortable" deal is a western female phenomenon.  It doesn't really exist over there in the way it would appear that you imagine. In fact, what she expects is that if you like her, you'll chase after her and play the game - big time. 


At any rate.. look for a thread split soon as this has become a topic of its own.



EDIT: Yeah, what Misha said

[Patagonie]

It's not that nothing can be done, but nothing you can do will guarantee that there will be chemistry, that she will fall in love, that you will fall in love. Simply put, there is IMHO as much chance that the date will flop as there being instant chemistry. Plus, there is the danger that a man will ignore all the obvious warning signs and red flags because they have projected a fantasy onto the women they really, really, really want to believe is "perfect" for them 

You can get quite a bit actually. Usually, you know if she is worth pursuing in that hour and you know whether there will be chemistry and whether there will be mutual interest and attraction.

The thing is, most women in Russia will go on dates with men they have met only briefly or have only chatted shortly online. The whole purpose of a date is to get to know a person and figure out whether she is worth pursuing.

+1

[Patagonie]

Cool deal that you are ready to go. I truly hope it works out long term.  I didn't suggest that nothing should be done before a real meeting happens.  Get to know as much as you can about her.  Your first real life meeting will go one of three ways:

• nowhere - all that time in preparation is for naught because there just isn't any real chemistry in person and that's that.
• it's okay - no real fireworks, but you've invested so much time into it that you feel you must continue - same end result.
• euphoria - where everything seems to be perfect and objects in mirror may appear to be more perfect than they really are

So even if it does go rock-ass well -- there's a reason most who have gone before you suggest at LEAST a second visit and preferably an extended visit if you can work it out -- even if everything seems perfect.  The second visit is when you start to see what is really between you sans the euphoria tinted glasses.  That's my point there. 


It's your life, your choices. 


As far as the 1-hour meetings, those are basically just "viewing profiles in person" as mentioned up thread.  Seeing if there is initial attraction/chemistry and then continuing from there if there is.  Nothing wrong with that. It's just different from how you want to do it.


Feeling comfortable:  You don't really understand FSUW.  Yeah, maybe there's a timid, paranoid woman over there somewhere.. but trust me.. your chances of meeting her are about 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 1.  She'll decide within minutes (most likely seconds) whether she likes you and if she does, she'll pretty much go wherever you ask and lead her (within reason).  That "need time to feel comfortable" deal is a western female phenomenon.  It doesn't really exist over there in the way it would appear that you imagine. In fact, what she expects is that if you like her, you'll chase after her and play the game - big time. 


At any rate.. look for a thread split soon as this has become a topic of its own.



EDIT: Yeah, what Misha said

+1