Psychology..nefarious intentions..Master and slave

[Jumper]

I actually had a problem with the last girl that I met because of her profession.
She refused to proceed because she didn't want to quit her job as a lawyer, to quit her hobbies, etc. You know, there are no jobs for Russian lawyers in the West. Certainly, the main reason was that I didn't live in Paris, her dream city.

And yet young RW that were lawyers,and interested in meeting a foreigner, did marry and relocate abroad.How can we possible explain that? 
lol
 
  You stated her main reason was location,
 not profession, yet continue down this road..
and that's just one RW.One RW who was not into you, as much as she was location.She may have had her own parameters ,and reasons, but why make it sound like  all RW have the same ones? They do not.
 
 
Limit your own search however you want Vincenzo. And date someone who cleans hotels or houses if you want to be
pruely pragmatic. They will even have a better chance of getting a J visa to visit you long term first.
Nothing wrong with being practical..
 
 
However,  a new member in thier introduction thread shouldn't have to justify their experiences ,meetings, or field of study, to support or conform to some ideals that you have.
   
We've had this go on in the past, it drove new members away,
this isn't the section for it IMHO.
 

[kmin]

I'm on POF myself -- do you think guys on there really expect/accept international profiles?  Just askin' ...

Kevin

Not all guys, but there are some who are open to it on those sites I am sure.  I think the biggest problem for women on dating sites is sifting through all the idiots and perverts to find the real men who are serious about finding someone.

[Misha]

I actually had a problem with the last girl that I met because of her profession.
She refused to proceed because she didn't want to quit her job as a lawyer, to quit her hobbies, etc. You know, there are no jobs for Russian lawyers in the West. Certainly, the main reason was that I didn't live in Paris, her dream city.

Didn't we have a discussion many weeks ago whereby I argued that Skyping was not a substitute for real life face-to-face interaction? I told you that a relationship only begins when you meet in person, yet you said it was not so. You are now proving my point. Honestly, if these are the reasons that she is giving you, I will follow your lead in being direct and tell you that I would conclude that she is simply not into you. It has nothing to do with her career options, her hobbies or even her love of Paris. If she had fallen in love with you when you visited her, then she would not be worried about hobbies after immigration.

[Vincenzo]

Didn't we have a discussion many weeks ago whereby I argued that Skyping was not a substitute for real life face-to-face interaction? I told you that a relationship only begins when you meet in person, yet you said it was not so. You are now proving my point.

Actually, I had very good time with the girl because I had communicated using Skype.
I've never said that Skyping would immediately lead to marriage, but it would help tremendously.

I know the main reason - it's her mom's opinion, but she stated all the secondary reasons: no job after she finishes her law education, Paris, etc. Her economical education and her hobby are profitable in the USA.

If you travel to a girl without Skyping, your chances are much-much lower.

[Vincenzo]

However,  a new member in thier introduction thread shouldn't have to justify their experiences ,meetings, or field of study, to support or conform to some ideals that you have.

I just gave her advice. It has nothing to do with my ideals.
"Study something useful"

Do I care that she won't be able to find a good job? No.
She'll have a 23-year-old(plus/minus) husband who will care for her.

A good job brings a woman independence and freedom.
She is Russian, she shouldn't act like an Asian woman(slave) who brings slippers for her husband(master) in the morning.

[Vaughn]

I just gave her advice. It has nothing to do with my ideals.

It had everything to do with your tasteless delivery.
 

[Olly]

Do I care that she won't be able to find a good job? No.
She'll have a 23-year-old(plus/minus) husband who will care for her.

A good job brings a woman independence and freedom.
She is Russian, she shouldn't act like an Asian woman(slave) who brings slippers for her husband(master) in the morning.

I can't imaging me without work but i think the housewife it is not slave!

[Faux Pas]

It had everything to do with your tasteless delivery.

+1

[Vincenzo]

I can't imaging me without work but i think the housewife it is not slave!

Isn't it better for a woman to have her own money and do whatever she wants?
When she has no money, she has to act like a slave: beg to buy a dress, ask money for studying, cook what the master wants...

I met a Japanese girl. She said her husband hardly ever spoke to her, he just came, ate, and went to sleep. I felt that she didn't like this obligation to be a housewife.

[Vincenzo]

It had everything to do with your tasteless delivery.

Yes, I know that fearing alienation you won't be able to say to your daughter or son, "I don't want to pay $100,000 for this useless study that won't help you find a good job and earn good money."

[veritas]

It had everything to do with your tasteless delivery.

      And his tasteless delivery wasn't just about her CAREER, either ... Recall "sex tourist"?

 

Kevin

[Misha]

Actually, I had very good time with the girl because I had communicated using Skype.
I've never said that Skyping would immediately lead to marriage, but it would help tremendously.

Yes, I see how it help you tremendously    You still did not know her and I surmise there was no chemistry and lo and behold Skype does not help you understand the family dynamics in a woman's life. By my reckoning, Skype did not help at all, and rather than address the real issue, you are jumping on a new poster with your theories as to which fields of studies people should pursue 

If you travel to a girl without Skyping, your chances are much-much lower.

Clearly, you can still be clueless even if you Skype and you will still not truly know a woman solely via Skype.

[Misha]

I just gave her advice. It has nothing to do with my ideals.
"Study something useful"

Tell us, what is your education and what is your profession?

Do I care that she won't be able to find a good job? No.
She'll have a 23-year-old(plus/minus) husband who will care for her.

The problem is that you are incapable of understanding that an educated person will eventually find a good job. It might take a bit more time, but smart educated people as Jerra clearly is (unlike some) do land on their feet and if they have some drive and ambition they will eventually find their niche and do good.

A good job brings a woman independence and freedom.
She is Russian, she shouldn't act like an Asian woman(slave) who brings slippers for her husband(master) in the morning.

Independence and freedom? So why exactly do you want to get married?!? Also, your comments are quite wrong when it comes to women from Asia that you are stereotyping. Comparing a housewife to Asian women and to slaves smacks of ignorance to me   

[mendeleyev]

If a woman wants to immigrate to the West, she must obtain a good profession suitable for the West. If her marriage fails, she won't have skills to earn money.

While true on the surface, however it sounds as if you're confusing marriage with immigration to the West. The best international marriages just happen to involve immigration because the two live in different parts of the world and at some point must choose a place to live. The thing that brings two people together successfully is the desire to spend the future together, regardless of location. Immigration is simply a byproduct of their circumstances.

If you hold the view that FSU women are "looking to get out" of a place and their primary motivation is to marry for a ticket somewhere, then you don't know most FSU ladies very well.

[ML]

If you hold the view that FSU women are "looking to get out" of a place and their primary motivation is to marry for a ticket somewhere, then you don't know most FSU ladies very well.

But it is actually true for some FSU women, . . . some percent of the women.

However, no one will actually ever know what the percentage is.

And regardless if the percentage is low or high, this still tells nothing about a specific woman.
 
This is why we advise doing the due diligence and taking plenty of time.

Still, no matter what, one can never be totally sure.

[mendeleyev]

I'm saying that the percentage is very small.

Were you to spend extended time in the FSU you'd come to the conclusion at some point that the idea that everyone wants to immigrate to the West is a myth.

Gals as opposed to guys are especially hesitant to leave roots, family and home.

Perhaps it is easier for myself to tell the difference than most, but I'm not ready to concede that just yet as there are some easy rules guys can follow to find out.

1- Don't rush the proposal. Instead of being a 1 or 2 trip wonder, use time as a transparency tool. The few girls looking to immigrate are on a mission, they won't wait. That means that time is on your side. Wait. A gal who sees a sincere man consistently working on a goal, yet without rushing, knows that he is worth waiting for. If not, NEXT.

2- Don't rush the honeymoon. Too many guys honeymoon first, commit next, and then get to know her family and friends last. That is backasswards. Get to know family and friends (HUGE clues are found in those relationships), commit later, honeymoon dead last.

[Faux Pas]

I'm saying that the percentage is very small.

Were you to spend extended time in the FSU you'd come to the conclusion at some point that the idea that everyone wants to immigrate to the West is a myth.

Gals as opposed to guys are especially hesitant to leave roots, family and home.

Perhaps it is easier for myself to tell the difference than most, but I'm not ready to concede that just yet as there are some easy rules guys can follow to find out.

1- Don't rush the proposal. Instead of being a 1 or 2 trip wonder, use time as a transparency tool. The few girls looking to immigrate are on a mission, they won't wait. That means that time is on your side. Wait. A gal who sees a sincere man consistently working on a goal, yet without rushing, knows that he is worth waiting for. If not, NEXT.

2- Don't rush the honeymoon. Too many guys honeymoon first, commit next, and then get to know her family and friends last. That is backasswards. Get to know family and friends (HUGE clues are found in those relationships), commit later, honeymoon dead last.

+1


IMHO, It is very small if even measurable. I am speaking only from my experience in Russia. I know quite a few RW in Russia but, I don't know any of them are looking to leave or "get out" or marrying someone just for that purpose. Sure there are some and I'd bet they have matching counterparts in the West as well. It's more human nature not a "RW thing". Now, I know a number of those that are open to finding a man for the purpose of marriage no matter where he's from. Make no mistake, there is a significant difference in the two

[Muzh]

Happy turkey day guys and gals.


I'll try to make it quick since it is hard to type with a heat pack on my jaw.


First, I agree 100% with Mendy. It has been my experience also that many ladies I've met in UA have no desire to relocate. The MAN has to be a very extraordinary gentleman and , Vicenzo, your attitude right now is removing yourself from the equation.


Now, even he is a rude ass, I'll have to agree to a certain degree what he MAY be claiming.


We have a saying in PR that "the goat will always head back to the mountains" and that has been my experience. I'm not claiming it is universal, however, it can happen more times than naught.


Years ago I dated a couple of very nice, beautiful, down-to-Earth support staff. On both occasions they broke it up. The last one was way more intelligent than her title at work, and that is what attracted me to her. However, she put it very simple: "After a while we will have nothing to talk about because we have nothing in common." She was a HS graduate and had no desire to school herself more than what she had attained. She was right on the money that eventually, if we would build a strong relationship, I would put pressure on her to go to college and she didn't want that. I would not have been happy at all because of this, and she was right. It took me a while to figure this out. That was one of the reasons my ex and I divorced.


At the beginning I limited my search to ladies who had similar educational background. My wife was a pediatrician in UA but when she got here she did not work in the health field until this year. It was her decision raising a child and all that, but she knew that I was expecting her to go back to what she trained for. During all this time I would discuss with her some work issues and at times she was able to give me different perspectives which came very handy. I'm not saying that a hairstylist is unable to do the same, but highly unlikely.


This is what I mean to have something in common. My apologies if I came like a real snob.

[ML]

Just to add a little benzine here:   

Isn't it very understandable that those men who married a FSU woman (or maybe from any country) and brought her to his home country would take the position that these women aren't really looking to leave their home  country.

Much more romantic to feel the woman left the care and comfort of her country and family to be with him!!

[Aloe]

Uh oh, where do i get me one of those, who wants a woman to raise babies and stay home and receive education at her leisure, without having to work? And who likes to travel. And is cute. And smart. And respectful. And able to compromise. And caring and understanding. And isn't a pussy.

  I really hate the idea of having to work. blahhhhhhhhhhh. My hubby on the other hand can't wait until i start working. Maybe i just hate the idea of getting up early. HAAAAAAAAATE Ittttttttttt. Getting up early sucks!!! I've been considring a 'career' of an evening school teacher , just so i don't have to get up early and have 3 months vacation. Lol. Then i'd save for 9 months and then travel for 3 months. But to think of it, this sounds extremely depressing. Scraping all year just to be able to afford to travel a little, and then never ever being able to buy a house because of it too. I hate how bleak the future looks!!!!!!!!!! It makes me wanna curl up in bed and never leave it. Some days i run around hoping i'll get hit by the train. Then i won't have to get up early anymore or work or rent forever and not be sad that i can't travel or that i have to save to get things.

ok, i finished ranting

[mendeleyev]

Just to add a little benzine here:

ML, you have a valid point.   

However with a home in Russia and a large portion of my work as a journalist being about Russia and the Russian people, I will confidently tell anyone that the vast majority of Russian people, women included, love their home and their ties to Russia as the motherland and have little desire to break those ties.

To say that a large number of Russian women would jump at the chance to live in the West would be the same as saying that a large number of Iowans would jump at the chance to live in California. Visit that other place, yes. Immigrate there however, most wouldn't. 

[Aloe]

There, i just came to a perfect wording. MY LIFE IS SORELY MISSING ADVENTURE. How to get adventures? Going out isn't an adventure...

[Ade]

Uh oh, where do i get me one of those, who wants a woman to raise babies and stay home and receive education at her leisure, without having to work? And who likes to travel. And is cute. And smart. And respectful. And able to compromise. And caring and understanding. And isn't a pussy.

  I really hate the idea of having to work. blahhhhhhhhhhh. My hubby on the other hand can't wait until i start working. Maybe i just hate the idea of getting up early. HAAAAAAAAATE Ittttttttttt. Getting up early sucks!!! I've been considring a 'career' of an evening school teacher , just so i don't have to get up early and have 3 months vacation. Lol. Then i'd save for 9 months and then travel for 3 months. But to think of it, this sounds extremely depressing. Scraping all year just to be able to afford to travel a little, and then never ever being able to buy a house because of it too. I hate how bleak the future looks!!!!!!!!!! It makes me wanna curl up in bed and never leave it. Some days i run around hoping i'll get hit by the train. Then i won't have to get up early anymore or work or rent forever and not be sad that i can't travel or that i have to save to get things.

ok, i finished ranting

Aloe, what time do you go to bed? Maybe you can go earlier..?

[Aloe]

i'm such a sick little puppy. Sometimes i am blaming my parents for not making me go to school at the critical moment in life. When i was 14, i was battling my parents for freedom, and at some point they just gave up the battle and let me run wild. I did, for 2 years, then at 16 i started sitting at home 24/7, playing video games 16 hours a day. Up until 21. So, since 14 i haven't done anything productive for longer than 2 months or have had anyone discipline me. But it's not good to blame others for your own failings. Life is BORING. The "train" thought days are induced by the climax of boredom. I am too lazy and disinterested to live, because i can't afford to do the things i wanna do, and because the thought of working long and hard to be able to do the things i wanna do, and being able to do them after having to save for an entire a year, and then saving another year to be able to do it again, is way way too depressing. Sigh.
I walk around and do productive things. Read books, learn languages, sutdy at university. But this is all pointless and doesn't induce any relief for my boredom. It only helps me escape it for a bit while the activity lasts, but when it's finished i'm bored again. Life is so pointless.


Ok, now i'm really finished ranting.

[Ade]

i'm such a sick little puppy. Sometimes i am blaming my parents for not making me go to school at the critical moment in life. When i was 14, i was battling my parents for freedom, and at some point they just gave up the battle and let me run wild. I did, for 2 years, then at 16 i started sitting at home 24/7, playing video games 16 hours a day. Up until 21. So, since 14 i haven't done anything productive for longer than 2 months or have had anyone discipline me. But it's not good to blame others for your own failings. Life is BORING. The "train" thought days are induced by the climax of boredom. I am too lazy and disinterested to live, because i can't afford to do the things i wanna do, and because the thought of working long and hard to be able to do the things i wanna do, and being able to do them after having to save for an entire a year, and then saving another year to be able to do it again, is way way too depressing. Sigh.
I walk around and do productive things. Read books, learn languages, sutdy at university. But this is all pointless and doesn't induce any relief for my boredom. It only helps me escape it for a bit while the activity lasts, but when it's finished i'm bored again. Life is so pointless.


Ok, now i'm really finished ranting.

Sounds like you are depressed. Go see a doctor. Really, medication may help.

FWIW, I ran wild too in my teens and only really started to get my life in shape at 21. Now I have an awesome life, a good job, a really nice home (we just bought a new house that is being built and will be finished in March) and an incredible wife. We travel when we want more or less.

There's nothing stopping you from getting to a similar place either. Just try to be patient. And go to bed earlier.