How Many RW are Psychologically Damaged?

[Maxx2]

I remember the story but am having a hard time remembering the name too but I agree it was not a "Scott", David comes to my mind but I don't recall.   I do remember thinking before it all broke that he was a really nice guy.  I guess it shows how well some people can hide their real persona. 
 
As I remember the story he forced her to work in the strip club and also beat her.  Perhaps she was more receptive to it than the story would indicate but my guess is it was more him. 
 
The video was interesting but personally I think there are as many cases of false abuse when it comes to RW as there are real stories.  I think perhaps with Asian women the abuse rate is much higher.  Russian women are not wimps and I don't think they would sit back and take abuse very easily.

I knew some details that I am not at liberty to say. It is pretty horrible to be accused of something the other part did to you. 

[calmissile]

OMG Olga!  Thank you for YouTube video.  Very educational.  +1

[groovlstk]

I was talking a long time member here. He said that a lot of those that used to post here and have stopped are quite probably part of the crash and burn list. He and I knew of some of the former members and what happened to them. They were smart in that they knew that hanging around here such as what I have done would only lead to their being suspicioned as abusive or mentally unfit.

Maxx, you can deny it until you are blue in the face (as you have in the past), but the pleasure you take in seeing other marriages fail is undeniable.
 

[OlgaH]

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder/complete-index.shtml

Most people who have borderline personality disorder suffer from:

• Problems with regulating emotions and thoughts
• Impulsive and reckless behavior
• Unstable relationships with other people.

What are the symptoms of borderline personality disorder?

According to the DSM, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR), to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, a person must show an enduring pattern of behavior that includes at least five of the following symptoms:

    Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to abandonment, whether real or perceived
    A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
    Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices)
    Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
    Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
    Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
    Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom
    Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
    Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality.

Seemingly mundane events may trigger symptoms. For example, people with borderline personality disorder may feel angry and distressed over minor separations—such as vacations, business trips, or sudden changes of plans—from people to whom they feel close. Studies show that people with this disorder may see anger in an emotionally neutral face5 and have a stronger reaction to words with negative meanings than people who do not have the disorder.6

[The Natural]

Yes. Let's all diagnose each other using the guidelines of the maddest of them all, psychiatrists!

[OlgaH]

Yes. Let's all diagnose each other using the guidelines of the maddest of them all, psychiatrists!

 

[Eduard]

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder/complete-index.shtml

Most people who have borderline personality disorder suffer from:

• Problems with regulating emotions and thoughts
• Impulsive and reckless behavior
• Unstable relationships with other people.

What are the symptoms of borderline personality disorder?

According to the DSM, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR), to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, a person must show an enduring pattern of behavior that includes at least five of the following symptoms:

    Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to abandonment, whether real or perceived
    A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
    Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices)
    Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
    Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
    Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
    Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom
    Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
    Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality.

Seemingly mundane events may trigger symptoms. For example, people with borderline personality disorder may feel angry and distressed over minor separations—such as vacations, business trips, or sudden changes of plans—from people to whom they feel close. Studies show that people with this disorder may see anger in an emotionally neutral face5 and have a stronger reaction to words with negative meanings than people who do not have the disorder.6

I believe that I had a misfortune of working with a guy who fits this description last year. This was one of the worst experiences of my life. Once I realised that he had a problem I refused to continue working for him inspite of him offering me a lot of money. I can't imagine some one like that having  a relationship with any one.

[Maxx2]

Maxx, you can deny it until you are blue in the face (as you have in the past), but the pleasure you take in seeing other marriages fail is undeniable.

That was mean spirited.

[OlgaH]

I was talking a long time member here. He said that a lot of those that used to post here and have stopped are quite probably part of the crash and burn list. He and I knew of some of the former members and what happened to them. They were smart in that they knew that hanging around here such as what I have done would only lead to their being suspicioned as abusive or mentally unfit.

Maxx, you can deny it until you are blue in the face (as you have in the past), but the pleasure you take in seeing other marriages fail is undeniable.

groovlstk, how did you come to such conclusion from his post above? Gut feeling?  Tone of his voice?     I don't see any pleasure expressed by Maxx in his post 

[BC]

Maxx, you can deny it until you are blue in the face (as you have in the past), but the pleasure you take in seeing other marriages fail is undeniable.


groovlstk, how did you come to such conclusion from his post above? Gut feeling?  Tone of his voice?     I don't see any pleasure expressed by Maxx in his post 

History Olga...

[OlgaH]

History Olga...

really? Did Maxx ever said that he was pleased or glad that some marriages failed? I can not recall such posts... 

[Maxx2]

This is why crash and burn guys leave these forums. The men are always considered wrong in someway.

[Maxx2]

History Olga...

Because I discuss the darkside? That is all I personally know of this endeavor. My combat experience.

[Maxx2]

I'm out of here. I will not be answering any PMs.

[OlgaH]

This is why crash and burn guys leave these forums. The men are always considered wrong in someway.

I see...

Because I discuss the darkside? That is all I personally know of this endeavor. My combat experience.

Yes, theoretical discussion of dark and dangerous side of internet dating on the forum is quite different when it comes to dark reality some people faced and decided to share ...

I'm out of here. I will not be answering any PMs.

Personally, I'm very sorry. 

[BC]

really? Did Maxx ever said that he was pleased or glad that some marriages failed? I can not recall such posts... 

No, but he did set up his own website to host any and all 'crash and burn' stories.

I do give him credit though that he at least addressed his disregard of pink and red flags in his own trainwreck along with recognizing that ill intent regards both sides of such relationships.  He's an equal opportunity host.

[BC]

I'm out of here. I will not be answering any PMs.

Said the umpteenth time.

Are you really ready to move on Maxx?

[OlgaH]

No, but he did set up his own website to host any and all 'crash and burn' stories.

OK he did set up the website for people who found themselves in the similar situation and they can get advice and help, and due to Maxx connections they can get legal help and legal advice. The members of the website not only men but women too. Time to time I read his website and sometimes I direct some people to the website too. So, how his website makes him to be pleased with failed marriages of other people? Why do you think that he is glad or pleased to see the failed marriage because he set up the website?

[BC]

OK he did set up the website for people who found themselves in the similar situation and they can get advice and help, and due to Maxx connections they can get legal help and legal advice. The members of the website not only men but women too. Time to time I read his website and sometimes I direct some people to the website too. So, how his website makes him to be pleased with failed marriages of other people? Why do you think that he is glad or pleased to see the failed marriage because he set up the website?

Very late here so the short answer..

Inability to let go..  He has found new limelight for his cause.

[OlgaH]

Very late here so the short answer..

Inability to let go..  He has found new limelight for his cause.

Personally, I don't think so. I found his posts and sharing to be very helpful and useful.

[Eduard]

back on topic... I say that a lot, if not most of these train wrecks can be avoided if both a man and a woman can communicate without the language barrier from the very beginning. Trying to save money on this puts you at risk of not only marrying the wrong person or you been the wrong person for the woman, but also marrying some one with BPD or another psychological or psychiatric disorder. Like in everything else in life, it's pay now or pay later, but you will pay one way or another. Eliminate the language barrier and your chances for success will increase dramatically.

[BC]

Personally, I don't think so. I found his posts and sharing to be very helpful and useful.

Quite ok.

[OlgaH]

Eduard, unfortunately even people who speak the same language perfectly and live in the same culture since their birth are not always able to determine a problem  and find out about psychological issues of their partners at the beginning ... they find it only with time.

[OlgaH]

Quite ok.

I just can not understand why some people feel such a strong itch to make their stinging remarks towards him when he speaks of his experience especially in such threads regarding "dark sides".

[Eduard]

Eduard, unfortunately even people who speak the same language perfectly and live in the same culture since their birth are not always able to determine a problem  and find out about psychological issues of their partners at the beginning ... they find it only with time.

I agree, younger, less experienced might not recognise the red flags. You and I most likely would. Like I said, I did make a mistake once accepting a guy who had these issues, I sensed that something was off about him, but as I explained there were certain compelling circumstances that influenced my better judgement. It will never happen again though. Plus I wasn't just talking about psych issues, generally many people who are involved in this persuite have pretty limited understanding who is the person they are marrying and that alone may lead to a train wreck.