Why would russian women want an average american man?

[SFandEE]

Has anybody answered the question directly yet?  Maybe it is as simple as this.


A Russian Woman would want an average American man if she loved him, if she were attracted to him, and if he could provide for her material and emotional needs and any family that she has or will have with him.  Matters of where they would live would also be of influence, she might likely prefer to stay in Russia. with her family and friends.  My guess is also that if he were average the chances would be good she would be average too. 


I think there is nothing wrong with aspiring for someone who is a reach, who will inspire you to be better than average--and perhaps best case she will see the person she chooses as a reach too, in the same way.


There are some great women in FSU and they would be nuts to marry beneath their value and I don't think they are nuts, so best thing is to try and be the best person you can be and then go attract what that will attract.

[Vasilisa]

Vasilisa, some member already mentioned a low self esteem regarding some of your posts.

Ok, which part of leaving me alone you didn't understand?!

[alex330]

Has anybody answered the question directly yet?  Maybe it is as simple as this.


A Russian Woman would want an average American man if she loved him, if she were attracted to him, and if he could provide for her material and emotional needs and any family that she has or will have with him.  Matters of where they would live would also be of influence, she might likely prefer to stay in Russia. with her family and friends.  My guess is also that if he were average the chances would be good she would be average too. 

Well said....

[Gator]

I would not be so categorical in assessments. In our family it was common thing when relatives, friends of relatives, friends of friends could stay for few days. 20-30 years ago to find a place in the hotel was a problem, (in some places even hotels were a problem  ), so vaunted Russian hospitality was the norm. Probably it depends on region I live...
And yes, I invited a foreigner to stay in my home (if I invited him to visit). But:
1. I had conditions for that. 2. It suited me more. To save his money was the last thing I was thinking about... 

Thanks for speaking up and explaining that it is plausible.  If the question is not too personal, how much time did you spend corresponding and talking with him before inviting him into your home?

[Gator]

CDW,

If you are still here, I can understand how the deaf community (or whatever term is PC) would feel it important to give personal support to fellow deaf travelers.  Those of us who have all our senses (except for common sense which is not common) can not imagine life without one.   Good luck in your endeavors, but be willing to take some constructive criticism.
 
At times I listen to BBC radio.  I have heard of a couple of accounts by Peter White, who is a blind tourist and describes his tours on a program called "Blind Man Roams the Globe."  Fascinating stuff, especially his trip to Istanbul as he made his way among the smells and sounds of bazaars and mosques.. 
 
 

[Daveman]

It's not being manipulative, being inependent and not jumping around the man like he is a king is being manipulative?! To me that' self esteem.  

I'd say just be natural with your natural behavior when you care about someone. If you naturally show someone you care by treating them special, then do that.. I assure you there are men who appreciate that and will return the favor..     Wrapping yourself in some other protective blanket isn't fair to your partner or yourself. 

Guys , you contradict yourself in other threads, in one thread you write that you want an independent wife that works, pays for college herself, etc, in another one you say it's manipulative. When she is independent yes, she can leave any moment if you let yourself go and is laying on a couch and doesn't say compliments, etc, and you have to do something to make her stay with you without taking for granted the things she is doing for you because you are the only provider in the family and can say or do what you want and she will not leave anyway.

So, do you want a wife that doesn't work or the wife that works, think twice.

I think I was the one debating the tuition aspect with you.  I never stated that I wanted my woman to pay for her tuition herself. I made the statement that I am not obligated to pay for her tuition just because RW think the man should pay for it.  That "you OWE me an paid education because I married you" mentality is an enormous turn off for me.


I want us to be equally dependent upon each other and equally independent at the same time.   Freedom to count on each other in any situation. Freedom to give and take.  Freedom to love freely.  Freedom to need from the other sometimes, and freedom to not -- just being completely natural with the ebb and flow of the relationship.


I absolutely do not care if she works or not.  If she wants a career, I'll do whatever I can to see her dream come to fruition. If she want's to take care of the house/family, that's fine with me too.  f


Thinking about it the second time... yep, still don't really care either way.. 

[Faux Pas]

The OP has been MIA since his opening post 

[OlgaH]

The OP has been MIA since his opening post 

He is busy working on $2K for his own investigation 

[ECOCKS]

Has anybody answered the question directly yet?  Maybe it is as simple as this.


A Russian Woman would want an average American man if she loved him, if she were attracted to him, and if he could provide for her material and emotional needs and any family that she has or will have with him.  Matters of where they would live would also be of influence, she might likely prefer to stay in Russia. with her family and friends.  My guess is also that if he were average the chances would be good she would be average too. 


I think there is nothing wrong with aspiring for someone who is a reach, who will inspire you to be better than average--and perhaps best case she will see the person she chooses as a reach too, in the same way.


There are some great women in FSU and they would be nuts to marry beneath their value and I don't think they are nuts, so best thing is to try and be the best person you can be and then go attract what that will attract.

Oh Jeeez!

There's always someone who has to start talking about the love and respect necessary for two people to have a real relationship!

Really, those are nice sentiments, but let's face facts! Everyone knows that a dozen roses, a gold tennis bracelet and a 12 yr. old bottle of Dewar's for Papa are much more important when calling on your new "solemate". 

[/sarcasm]

As Alex, well said.....

[rambler]

Well what is average anyway? 
There is intellect, faithfulness,  education,  sexuality and of course money, but the buying power of that money in the local area is hard to calculate. So the following adjusted data is really quite informative.  But do read the tab "How it is worked out". 


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17543356


I am not suggesting it is the comparison about money that attracts East to West.
$3263 average US salary a month Vs $1215 in Russian Federation.  That is not raw $'s that is local buying power $'s.


But if you combine that with views about the reputed total lack of fidelity in Russian men, drinking habits, lower age of death, fewer men, corruption in high and low places etc. , then there is enough of an imbalance of power to make it viable for a slightly ABOVE average Westerner to attract a very above average - i.e. Smokin Hot partner. Notice my refusal to use gender and nationality. But I would caution against the whole idea.  We are not from different countries, it is a totally different culture.  You have to envisage how the average American would differ if Hitler had invaded the USA and if Roosevelt had annihilated 23 million Americans. Look at the map of Gulags in the book Gulag Archipeligo - They were all over the country , not just Siberia and the salt mines. 


So Russia is the sixth country under the average income and USA is 26 above the average, with only a few very small countries with unusual economies above the USA.  So there is nothing Average  about the Average American. 


But that does not mean you are are going to be compatible with someone with a completely different historical, political, moral and ethical background, even if you earn way above the average income, in fact the more you earn above their level, the bigger the cultural & compatibility gap is likely to be, and the more disproportionate the expectations, which is the real hidden danger. 


R

[IAmZon]

" in fact the more you earn above their level, the bigger the cultural & compatibility gap is likely to be, and the more disproportionate the expectations, which is the real hidden danger. "


Very nice point

[Gylden]

This is probably the most important part of these relationships. Many women don't understand how is life in a foreign country.
 
Part of the mans job in all of this is to educate the women about what to expect.
 
Good communication.
 
 

[David1963]

How does a stupid thread from a 2 post wonder garner 5 pages?
 

[Daveman]

How does a stupid thread from a 2 post wonder garner 5 pages?

He's just upset and shamed that he couldn't compete with the 'Zilla...


 

[Misha]

How does a stupid thread from a 2 post wonder garner 5 pages?

Simply an indicator of an active forum methinks 

[Eduard]

But if you combine that with views about the reputed total lack of fidelity in Russian men, drinking habits, lower age of death, fewer men, corruption in high and low places etc. , then there is enough of an imbalance of power to make it viable for a slightly ABOVE average Westerner to attract a very above average - i.e. Smokin Hot partner.

I'm surprised no one rushed to "correct" Rambler on this point. 

[mendeleyev]

From Ed:

I'm surprised no one rushed to "correct" Rambler on this point. 

From Rambler:

But if you combine that with views about the reputed total lack of fidelity in Russian men, drinking habits, lower age of death, fewer men, corruption in high and low places etc. , then there is enough of an imbalance of power to make it viable for a slightly ABOVE average Westerner to attract a very above average - i.e. Smokin Hot partner.

Count on me, Ed.

No offense meant to you Rambler. Ed, you know that I disagree with the myths put out by the big agencies, but then I know so many RM who don't fit the mythical "norm" that the big dating agencies have worked so hard in their effort to build the fantasy.

Do RM die earlier than RW? Yes, just as men do in almost any society when approaching old age.

Are they all drunks? Walking the streets of Moscow I can always find a drunk or two somewhere in Europe's largest city. But then again so can we in London, Europe's second largest city, or Saint Petersburg, Europe's third largest city, or Berlin, Europe's fourth largest city. We can find drunks just south of Russia in Istanbul, the largest city in the no man's land between Europe and Asia. The point is that most of the men walking around Moscow, London, Peter, Berlin, Istanbul (did we mention Moscow?) are generally sober. Unless there are colonies of drunken men hidden from view in bunkers underneath the city streets, the myth of all or most of RM being drunks is just that--a myth.

RM have apparently always been useless if we believe the big agencies. Of course those brainless idiots have no clue about my table of the elements, Aleksandr Pushkin, Mikhail Kutuzov, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Vladimir Zworykin, Georgy Zhukov, Valentin Serov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Mikhail Nesterov, Yuri Gagarin, Osip Mandelstam, Wassily Kandinsky, Aleksei Leonov, Boris Pasternak, Ivan Fyodorov, Marat Safin, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Dmitri Shostakovich, Anton Chekov, Metropolitan Philip, Pyotr Tchaikovsky, Anatoly Sobchak, Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, Leo Tolstoy, Isaak Leviton, Ivan Kozhedub, Patriarch Tikhon, Aleksandr Baranov the governor of Northern California when it belonged to Russia, Aleksandr Popov, turbojet engine inventor Arkhip Lvulka, founder of Moscow State University Mikhail Lomonosov or even the inventor of something as simple as the parachute by Gleb Kotelnikov.

There are too many to continue listing but the good news is that despite all the lies posted by moronic simpletons on YouTube, the average Russian male will work hard today and go home to his family. Are there irresponsible and philandering Russian males? Probably as many as in America, the UK, Sweden and Canada if we went around and took a survey. Speaking of taking surveys, the Russian government does that -- it is called a CENSUS, and the information therein is much more detailed than simply who woke up alive yesterday morning. Funny thing is how the big agencies somehow are eager to pitch their dream but provide no scientific studies or demographic data to support their claims. But then, they have a myth and fantasy to sell. Truth is not good for the Russian bride business. (sigh)

In some ways, RM make better husbands. RM Russian in general are not as individualistic as Westerners and are often found taking care of their extended families and neighbours. The millions of RM who sacrificed their lives in two world wars are not only forgotten, but shamed in their absence by the big agencies. RM are typically very generous, which often leads to RW complaining that some Western men are cheap. Why the comparison? Because frankly we WM don't always measure up to RM in the generosity department.

Contrary to some claims, Russian men are better fathers in many cases. Over the weekend of September 15 and 16 lets send teams out to investigate. We'll make the big agencies pay for the research -- they can sell a few more bogus addresses to cover the costs. On that weekend we'll have Team One scouring Moscow to look for Russian men out at parks, rivers and city events with their children. Team Two will cover the same action in London. Team Three will cover Toronto. Team Four will cover Los Angeles, Team Five will cover New York and Team Six will be in St Petersburg. My money is that Teams One and Six will count more than all the other teams combined. Easy money on a bet.

Fewer men? At old age, yes. Ed as you know, I have access to census data and for some reason I'm not seeing the vast differences in birth rates that the big dating agencies claim. Another fantasy designed to sell the dream.

Corruption? Just as in the West, anyone can find some corruption in Russia if you look hard enough but frankly it includes the Russian FEMALE at some registration counter as much as the police officer with his magic traffic wand waving over motorists for a shake-down. Hand over a fist full of rubles to a smokinhotkova when asking for some sort of expedited service and she'll take her eyes off the computer monitor, where she is supposedly looking for an older and overweight Western man, just long enough to pocket the treasure and move you to the front of the line.

Sorry, couldn't resist. 

[Eduard]

I agree with much of what you wrote, Jim     However I wouldn't go as far as suggesting that Russian dads are somehow better than Anerican or UK dads. I don't know about the UK but I see plenty of good dads here, in the US, who are very involved in raising their kids. This really depends on your own experience and perception, I think.


I also disagree with you on the drinking problem issue. I think drinking is quite bit more of a problem among RM than the US men. Sure, you don't see as many drunk men during the day because many wouldn't be able to hold a job or drive (due to very tough DYI laws in Russia). But drinking is a serious problem in Russia. I was just chatting with one of my client's finacee the other day. He asked me to talk with her since she really needed to vent her frustration. They already have the K-1 visa and her window is about to expire in just over a month from now. The reason for the delay is that she wanted to renovate her mom's apartment in Piter before she came here. She thought that she could get it done in a matter of weeks... haha, if it was that easy! I'm not going to bore you with all her trials and tribulations but one thing she said stuck in my mind and it is relevant to our conversation. When the guy who she hired to do tile work disappeared for several days she finally caught up with him and asked him: "Where have you been???!!!". His excuse that is basically acceptable in Russia was: " Ушел в запой" (went on a drinking binge for several days). What I found telling and very specific to Russia, that her response was not: "What kind of excuse is that? You were hired to do the job why weren't you doing it?" but instead she told him: "You are lieing! I can tell by your eyes that you haven't been drinking. In other words she would be totally understanding and accept his excuse if he really did go on a several day long drinking binge, but she was upset that he actually looked like he was sober but still lieing to her about this. Crews of drunk or slightly drunk workers is a common accurance in Russia. In fact this is exactly the reason why so many construction companies prefer hiring foreign workers from the stans - they don't drink as much.
I don't know, Jim, you know that I have great respect for you, but my experience just happens to be different from your's on this. My dad didn't drink and I don't drink but I've seen so much of it all over Russia, there is nothing like it here in the US.

[GoodOlBoy]

Ed, you know that I disagree with the myths put out by the big agencies,........Are they all drunks?

Not only put out by big agencies.

I have heard to many RW here in Sunny Isles Beach describe Russian men back home as drunken wife beater's and/or skirt chaser's to dismiss it as "sour grapes". 

GOB
 

[mendeleyev]

Ed:

I agree with much of what you wrote, Jim 

I knew that you would, one of the reasons I happily applaud your service.

[mendeleyev]

GOB:

I have heard to many RW here in Sunny Isles Beach describe Russian men back home as drunken (wife beater's) to dismiss it as "sour grapes". 

Isn't often that you hear someone speak of their ex in glowing terms. Of course there are likely as many Russian drunks as in the USA. An ocean between continents doesn't change human nature.

I've heard that same claim in Los Angeles, Chicago and Phoenix as well. Yet in those same cities there are likely as many happily married Russian men who've immigrated and doing well without those issues.

When you walk Russian streets over an extended time you come to realize that those stereotypes are not really in stereo, they're just bothersome white noise.

[ghost of moon goddess]

Not only put out by big agencies.

I have heard to many RW here in Sunny Isles Beach describe Russian men back home as drunken wife beater's and/or skirt chaser's to dismiss it as "sour grapes". 

GOB

I have heard from many RM living here that they never suggest getting married because marriage with RW means the end of sex for the rest of their lives 

[GoodOlBoy]

When you walk Russian streets over an extended time you come to realize that those stereotypes are not really in stereo, they're just bothersome white noise.

I don't think the women who revealed their painful stories to me were talking about "public displays".

More like what goes on behind "closed doors" almost EVERY night in Russia.

GOB

[GoodOlBoy]

Don't get me wrong.

Just as a point of reference.... daily at 5:00pm (17:00) I like to mix up a batch of Margaritas for wifey and myself.

But according to the same Russian ladies who frequent our condo, "You don't drink Rick". 
 
GOB

[mendeleyev]

I don't think the women who revealed their painful stories to me were talking about "public displays".

More like what goes on behind "closed doors" almost EVERY night in Russia.

GOB, I don't doubt their stories. Neither do I doubt the same stores from American women. Alcoholism happens in every corner of the globe.

Where I do disagree is the notion that somehow the effects of alcoholism is limited to night and behind closed doors. One thing that is universally true about alcoholic behaviour worldwide is that the alcoholic has a very difficult time segregating their actions between time periods. Sure, for a time he or she may manage to keep from beating the crap out of a secretary long enough to make it home, but over time alcoholic behaviour begins to blur the lines.

My first wife was an alcoholic, the driving reason for that divorce and my gaining custody of our children, so I have no love for alcoholism and the behaviour (yes, behaviour behind closed doors was an issue) that often accompanies that condition.

However, I don't go around sharing the gory details of that failed relationship and today don't for a millisecond believe that most RM are drunks.