Aloe, the desperate housewife

[Ranetka]

Aloe also mentioned she may be screaming so her neighbors can hear. If this is not a subconscious message I do not know what is.


 

[GoodOlBoy]

I can only imagine if your ex wife came to this forum and presented her side of the story how you would look.  Hell, GOB would probably tell her to leave that idiot and find a better guy. 

I guess your reading comprehension is........ not so good. 
 

Unfortunately, my late wife and I.....

GOB

Previously widowed, married 23 faithful yrs., one beautiful daughter who looks like her Mom (thank God she doesn't look like me).
 

[LiveFromUkraine]

I guess your reading comprehension is........ not so good. 
 
GOB

Previously widowed, married 23 faithful yrs., one beautiful daughter who looks like her Mom (thank God she doen't look like me).

My comprehension is fine.  What I said still stands besides the ex part.  Maybe you can start attacking my spelling. 

[Faux Pas]

No amount of physical fighting is acceptable, unless like I've stated, you are in immediate physical harm, and then you should only use necessary force.

Where do you draw the line Ranetka? Is a slap ok? How about a shove? I'm sorry, but a violent relationship is rarely 'workable'

Your wife holding a glass to smash or even throw at you doesn't really qualify as immediate physical danger, does it?

[LiveFromUkraine]

Your wife holding a glass to smash or even throw at you doesn't really qualify as immediate physical danger, does it?

Depends on who your wife is.   

[Spoon]

Your wife holding a glass to smash or even throw at you doesn't really qualify as immediate physical danger, does it?

I know of at least one guy that lost an eye through a glassing incident, so yeah, I class it as physical danger.

I'm not saying choking the person holding the glass is a reasonable response, but some sort of physical intervention may be required.

[GoodOlBoy]

I'm not saying choking the person holding the glass is a reasonable response, but some sort of physical intervention may be required.

Yeah, when the clown pinned Aloe against the wall and took the glass from her hand, that might be ok (still not sure).

When he decided to choke her and cover her mouth with his hand, he crossed the line.
 
GOB

[Spoon]

Yeah, when the clown pinned Aloe against the wall and took the glass from her hand, that might be ok (still not sure).

When he decided to choke her and cover her mouth with his hand, he crossed the line.
 
GOB

Agree

Physically restraining someone is a far cry from what this guy did, it would be very hard (near impossible) to trust someone (again) who has crossed that line.

[Faux Pas]

I know of at least one guy that lost an eye through a glassing incident, so yeah, I class it as physical danger.

I'm not saying choking the person holding the glass is a reasonable response, but some sort of physical intervention may be required.

Well I can state with certainty that I have been in front of a number of angry woman in my life and never really felt the threat of immediate physical harm from any of them. Maybe it's because of my size but, women just don't normally scare me. That is what we're talking about here right? Man being scared of woman so he roughs her up a bit, chokes her, pins her to the wall?

No, a more reasonable response, if a response was in fact justified would be to ask her to put the glass down. If she didn't, knock the glass out of her hand. That is all the physicality that could possibly be "justified"

[Muzh]

Well I can state with certainty that I have been in front of a number of angry woman in my life and never really felt the threat of immediate physical harm from any of them. Maybe it's because of my size but, women just don't normally scare me. That is what we're talking about here right? Man being scared of woman so he roughs her up a bit, chokes her, pins her to the wall?

No, a more reasonable response, if a response was in fact justified would be to ask her to put the glass down. If she didn't, knock the glass out of her hand. That is all the physicality that could possibly be "justified"

Thank you FP.

Man, after reading the last few pages, I get the impression some guys here would have no problems hitting a woman.

[Faux Pas]

Muzh,

It's pretty obvious some guys don't

[LiveFromUkraine]

Thank you FP.

Man, after reading the last few pages, I get the impression some guys here would have no problems hitting a woman.

Yeah, you can clearly see that based on posts.  How dare some guys say they have enough respect for themselves not to let a woman beat up on them. 

God knows women don't ever do that anyway.  They are always a victim.

[GoodOlBoy]

Well I can state with certainty that I have been in front of a number of angry woman in my life and never really felt the threat of immediate physical harm from any of them. Maybe it's because of my size but, women just don't normally scare me.

Good point FP!

We are talking about a young healthy man who works out at the gym (I think Aloe said "6-pack ab's").

I find it hard to believe that he was seriously scared of a drinking glass.

Now, if Aloe had a knife in her hand (instead of a drinking glass), I might buy the "I was scared" defense.

GOB

[Muzh]

God knows women don't ever do that anyway.  They are always a victim.

And 99.99% of the time is the woman.

[Gator]

Incredulous comments from a few RWD men in the recent pages.     
 
Many men say they are attracted to FSUW because they are traditional women who appreciate men as men.  It appears that for some men this also means the woman should expect to be beaten if she misbehaves.    I can now understand why one man chooses to live in Ukraine - American women would have nothing to do with such an attitude.
 
For those thinking Aloe is misbehaving, let us review the 3  year record Aloe has given us at RWD in 1000  posts.     Her RWD story started in April 2009 before she moved to Belgium and married her man:
 

I used to be somewhat shallow too, caring about guys income and all, but then i simply fell in love, and i don't care that my fiance barely makes enough to provide food and shelter, i just love him and wanna be with him, and don't mind being poor for a few years until i finish my education or he gets a promotion.

If you read her story, you will find some interesting tidbits:

 

my husband gave me a french kiss on sight right at the airport on our first meeting . i think i already wrote that somewhere. that was totally unexpected and i wouldnt recommend it, but a hug would be nice.

   
 
Clearly, her husband is an overly assertive person.
 
Her story continues with her moving to Belgium and a 1000 posts mainly about her life there.    Adjusting to marriage and a new culture (where she did not speak the language) is very trying.    Us married men know that.  And while she and her husband had some disputes she remained delightfully pleasant even though it was obvious she was very lonely.    I get the impression that her husband did very little to help her adjustment.
 
Her posts show a pattern.   Her husband has steadily become more aggressive and assertive in controlling Aloe.  Money is a problem as the husband is young and his career is still in its early years.   This can be a great cause of strife, yet Aloe in her posts has seemed accepting of this constraint. 
 
So for RWD members who believe Aloe caused this fracas, the clues are there in her posts to say her husband is not a good husband.   And it is absurd to believe Aloe fabricated or embellished this story over a period of 3  years and 1000 posts.   Her posts show a pattern, and her marriage is slowly deteriorating rather than improving.
 
Something else really concerns me.  I  recall a Belgium man joining RWD and making only one or two posts about his wife's housekeeping.  I wish I could find that post as it seemed to me he was Aloe's husband.

[Faux Pas]

Yeah, you can clearly see that based on posts.  How dare some guys say they have enough respect for themselves not to let a woman beat up on them. 

God knows women don't ever do that anyway.  They are always a victim.

Strawman argument um. Who said anything at all about letting a women beat up on them?

I don't recollect Aloe stating she was about to kick his ass

[LiveFromUkraine]

And 99.99% of the time is the woman.

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/male_abuse.htm

[Faux Pas]

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/male_abuse.htm

Yeah it's disgusting. Poor lil'fellars 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Strawman argument um. Who said anything at all about letting a women beat up on them?

I don't recollect Aloe stating she was about to kick his ass

No, she was yelling (some would say that would indicate aggressive behavior) and went for a glass to throw.

Before anyone starts pointing out the obvious, no one said choking her or putting their hand over her mouth was acceptable.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Yeah it's disgusting. Poor lil'fellars 

Typical ignorant response.  Apparently, some think it is ok for women to get violent.

[Faux Pas]

No, she was yelling (some would say that would indicate aggressive behavior) and went for a glass to throw.

Before anyone starts pointing out the obvious, no one said choking her or putting their hand over her mouth was acceptable.

Yeah, if I just had a nickel for every time I was injured from someone yelling at me.

IIRC, what she said was, she picked up a glass to smash.

[Faux Pas]

Typical ignorant response.  Apparently, some think it is ok for women to get violent.

More strawman. Go ahead, you built it, start attacking it.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Yeah, if I just had a nickel for every time I was injured from someone yelling at me.

IIRC, what she said was, she picked up a glass to smash.

Yelling isn't aggressive now?  Picking up a glass to break isn't aggressive behavior?  What did he do to warrant this type of aggressive behavior? 

He stuck his finger at her and played loud music.

[LiveFromUkraine]

More strawman. Go ahead, you built it, start attacking it.

Is that the best come back you got?  No different then Muzh's comment.  If he can build it why can't the rest of us? 

[Spoon]

No, she was yelling (some would say that would indicate aggressive behavior) and went for a glass to throw.

Before anyone starts pointing out the obvious, no one said choking her or putting their hand over her mouth was acceptable.

Exactly, I don't know what Gator was reading, but I challenge him to find one sentence where any member has said that Aloe is remotely responsible and/or deserving of the treatment she received.

The arguments surrounding the methods to diffuse similar situations certainly detracted from the main purpose of the thread, but it's no excuse to accuse others as potential 'wife beaters'