How to deal with WMVM dilemMa?

[Muzh]

Then stay where you are. Short supply! 
No "short supply" can make a woman do what she doesn't want to.

LMFAO

Now you are the one being "rude." 

[Faux Pas]

Lets imagine situation ... 

You and me meet on dating site and we exchange emails and chat on skype for few months. Obviously we dont do this from boredom but because we like and attracted  to each other to some extend. Both of us feel there is chance that perhaps it could become something more and we should have a real date. As I have vacation coming up I decide to come and visit you but then I explain you that we gonna have only few days together and then I gonna go visit few other guys and see if I like any of them more then you, perhaps any of them more handsome and sexy then you, perhaps some of them will treat me better then you or perhaps any of them have personality that more suited to me then yours. How would you feel? ... ... still attracted to me?  or thinking what for I been wasting my time talking with her at all? But lets imagine as well that for some reason you decide to go ahead with it (could be due to desperation, or being attracted to me so much, or boredom, or whatever else). And  so I come to see you, then I meet some John, James, Tom, Brian, etc. After all the mettings I decide you are the best for me. Do you still want me after that? Common surely you are secure enough in yourself to wait till I go through all my options to decide if you are any good for me.
And last question: is it really matter if I tell you that I am going to see some John, James, Tom, Brian, etc or you know it without me telling it to you?


Edit: I dont have issues with whatever arrangments (WOVO, WMVO, WMVM) guys go (simply because it doesnt effect my personal life in anyway  ) and I can understand reasons guys go for either of those arrangments. But also I can understand girls position/views on those arrangments. Bottom line is that many girls (and guys as well if put in those shoes) would feel degraded and disrespected if while they are genuine interested in/attracted to a guy, he goes around through all options deciding which one is better for him.
If you are planing to do WMVM be straightforward about it, girls have a right to decide for themselves if they want to meet guy on such condiitions or not.

+1

Excellent post MissA

Something you probably need to understand, while your post IMHO is very true and correct there is a prevailing attitude among WM who do this and their reasoning is "Because I can". This is much the same reason that draws them to the East to begin with, a more attractive, slender woman than they can't get at home. Right, wrong or indifferent I would guess this covers more than half of the WM that venture East.

Most of these men could not line up multiple women for even the simplest of dates at home and would be quite lucky to line up one. Ask any of them why they do not do this in the Capitol city the next state over. The likely answer is because they are fat, selfish and American while more truth to the matter is, they simply can't. The fat, selfish, American women won't go for it 

[Muzh]

Lets imagine situation ... 

You and me meet on dating site and we exchange emails and chat on skype for few months. Obviously we dont do this from boredom but because we like and attracted  to each other to some extend. Both of us feel there is chance that perhaps it could become something more and we should have a real date. As I have vacation coming up I decide to come and visit you but then I explain you that we gonna have only few days together and then I gonna go visit few other guys and see if I like any of them more then you, perhaps any of them more handsome and sexy then you, perhaps some of them will treat me better then you or perhaps any of them have personality that more suited to me then yours. How would you feel? ... ... still attracted to me?  or thinking what for I been wasting my time talking with her at all? But lets imagine as well that for some reason you decide to go ahead with it (could be due to desperation, or being attracted to me so much, or boredom, or whatever else). And  so I come to see you, then I meet some John, James, Tom, Brian, etc. After all the mettings I decide you are the best for me. Do you still want me after that? Common surely you are secure enough in yourself to wait till I go through all my options to decide if you are any good for me.
And last question: is it really matter if I tell you that I am going to see some John, James, Tom, Brian, etc or you know it without me telling it to you?

MissA, a couple of things.

First, excellent points you raise here.

Second, you asked some time ago that you would appreciate help with your grammar. On the above, substitute "than" for "then." Than is for comparison purposes while then is to be used for indicating time.

[Muzh]

If I am in a place where singles are abundant, I will scan the room and when I see a woman that catches my eye, I say whoa and focus my attention on her. If the eye contact is met wtth a smile or a repeated sneaking a peek, I will approach her and say hi. It usually goes well from there....
In fact,  It has almost always led to something very nice and long lasting.

I don't know where you are harvesting your contacts from, I suppose it doesn't really matter much, but consider this:

By using this method you are proposing,
You are using a players game.

By that I mean,  a player is a guy who (traditionally)  hits on  many women and is not discouraged when he is turned down. He simply walks up to then next one, next one, next one until he finds one that says yes.  By using this method, he stands a better chance of going home with A woman than a guy who will not imagine doing this.

Using this method for finding a wife may be a double edged sword. Here is why:
By playing the feild and letting these contacts know that up front, you will effectivly weed out the pro daters and pocket pickers for the most part, because a pro knows that others will be picking your pockets too and the chance of cleaning you out after the others have got to you is not so good.
Thus, a girl knows that you are player and it's hard to play a player.
On the other hand, the serious and honest girls know you are a player and most of the time that is not going to make you seem special, or make them feel special.
It will appear that you are in a hurry and that you prefer quantity over quality.

 

Jason, excellent points. In specific walking in a place with single women.

You say that the "many" approach is like playing the field. I always felt that a person cannot be really serious when going on a "hunting' trip like that. Again. that's JMHO.

[Muzh]

Finally, ask yourself how you would like if the girl you are after still writes with other guys until you decide to show up.  It may or may not bother you but helps gain her perspective.

 
Most RW probably do this, so a man should not get his panties twisted over this one. 
 

That would be the intelligent reaction, wouldn't it?
 
These forums are loaded with guys screaming "scammer" just because the same thing; HE found she was writing to other guys. And this during the "get-to-know-each-other" stage.
 

[missAmeno]

MissA, a couple of things.

First, excellent points you raise here.

Second, you asked some time ago that you would appreciate help with your grammar. On the above, substitute "than" for "then." Than is for comparison purposes while then is to be used for indicating time.

Thank you, Muzh

[ML]

Lets imagine situation ... 

You and me meet on dating site and we exchange emails and chat on Skype for few months. Obviously we don't do this from boredom but because we like and attracted  to each other to some extend. Both of us feel there is chance that perhaps it could become something more and we should have a real date. As I have vacation coming up I decide to come and visit you but then I explain you that we gonna have only few days together and then I gonna go visit few other guys and see if I like any of them more then you, perhaps any of them more handsome and sexy then you, perhaps some of them will treat me better then you or perhaps any of them have personality that more suited to me then yours. How would you feel? ... ... still attracted to me?  or thinking what for I been wasting my time talking with her at all? But lets imagine as well that for some reason you decide to go ahead with it (could be due to desperation, or being attracted to me so much, or boredom, or whatever else). And  so I come to see you, then I meet some John, James, Tom, Brian, etc. After all the meetings I decide you are the best for me. Do you still want me after that? Common surely you are secure enough in yourself to wait till I go through all my options to decide if you are any good for me.
And last question: is it really matter if I tell you that I am going to see some John, James, Tom, Brian, etc or you know it without me telling it to you?


Edit: I don't have issues with whatever arrangements (WOVO, WMVO, WMVM) guys go (simply because it doesn't effect my personal life in anyway  ) and I can understand reasons guys go for either of those arrangements. But also I can understand girls position/views on those arrangements. Bottom line is that many girls (and guys as well if put in those shoes) would feel degraded and disrespected if while they are genuine interested in/attracted to a guy, he goes around through all options deciding which one is better for him.
If you are planing to do WMVM be straightforward about it, girls have a right to decide for themselves if they want to meet guy on such conditions or not.

Well you have already gotten the expected positive feedback from the WOVO crowd.

Now it is time for the correct answer.
 
First, on your last point,  when anyone advises to be straightforward about WMVM, they are really just showing their disapproval because they know it will lead to total failure with all the M's.  So it's just another way of saying don't do it.

Second, to follow up with your first part and be consistent, no I do not want to be told that the woman is on a WMVM when she comes to visit me.  Will I know she is on a WMVM.  Perhaps yes, perhaps no.  Depends on what cities she has on her itinerary,  how big of a blabber mouth she is, and many other factors.

Third,  would I agree to meet with a woman who was on a WMVM?
Sure, I would without a doubt.  Most all single, unengaged women in USA are going out with multiple men, so it wouldn't make any difference if an international visitor were doing the same.  We are supposed to be mostly well adjusted  adults here.

Fourth, would I exchange emails and Skype talks with a woman who was coming to USA on a WMVM visit.  Sure, I would.  I just wouldn't want to see a list of the men's email addresses in the cc line.  Don't ask, don't tell is fine.

Fifth, after the gal has completed her WMVM trip, would I feel good about her when she then chooses me?  Yes I would.  It would be a much better feeling to be  the one chosen out of 5, 10, 20 or whatever; rather than the one chosen out of one.

If the woman is paying for everything when she comes here in the same manner that the man pays for everything when he goes there; then the WMVM is a perfectly acceptable way for her to go.  But again,  you don't have to slap people in the face by telling them about other guys (gals).

[Turboguy]

To me, guys make the trip for one of two reasons.


1.  They have been corresponding with a woman that they think could be everything they have dreamed of finding.  They seem to have a great connection in emails, phone, skype or however and they want to meet in the hopes that they could be the right people for each other.


2.  The guy thinks RW seem (or are) great and he is hoping to find the right one to make his wife.  The woman is interested in a foreign man.  They have communicated with some women and have some candidates that might be promising.  Both are likely communicating with others. 


If someone thinks they have found the right woman for them then perhaps a VO would be the best choice.  If he is trying to narrow the field and find out which one might be the right one unless he has unlimited funds and vacation time, or is located in Europe where a trip is no big deal then a VM is probably the best choice. 


I had a number of trips where I thought I had a great prospect only to find different results when we met.  For example one of the last women I met was one I had corresponded with for probably two years and tried to arrange a meeting twice before.  In less than an hour on the ground it became obvious that she was a lush.  ( I will define lush as someone who drinks more than what it takes to be an alcoholic.  Since I am a borderline tea toadler it definitely did was not a workable situation)  I had reached the opinion that a VO was not something I would consider but lots of guys have visited one and she turned out to be the right one.   


To me it is what you are comfortable with and what both can accept.  If I barely knew a woman and she insisted I didn't meet anyone else, she is probably the wrong choice anyway.


I never lied about meeting other women, but never volunteered the information unless asked.  I usually (but not always) did not try to meet two women in the same city.

[Muzh]

To me, guys make the trip for one of two reasons.


1.  They have been corresponding with a woman that they think could be everything they have dreamed of finding.  They seem to have a great connection in emails, phone, skype or however and they want to meet in the hopes that they could be the right people for each other.


2.  The guy thinks RW seem (or are) great and he is hoping to find the right one to make his wife.  The woman is interested in a foreign man.  They have communicated with some women and have some candidates that might be promising.  Both are likely communicating with others. 

TG, you forgot the third one and the most prevalent.
 
3. The guy thinks these RW are desperate for ANY man carrying a blue passport to take them out of hell and will fight amongst each other (women) to get the desired prize, a trip to Shangri-la.

[Faux Pas]

Well you have already gotten the expected positive feedback from the WOVO crowd.

Now it is time for the correct answer.
 
First, on your last point,  when anyone advises to be straightforward about WMVM, they are really just showing their disapproval because they know it will lead to total failure with all the M's.  So it's just another way of saying don't do it.

Second, to follow up with your first part and be consistent, no I do not want to be told that the woman is on a WMVM when she comes to visit me.  Will I know she is on a WMVM.  Perhaps yes, perhaps no.  Depends on what cities she has on her itinerary,  how big of a blabber mouth she is, and many other factors.

Third,  would I agree to meet with a woman who was on a WMVM?
Sure, I would without a doubt.  Most all single, unengaged women in USA are going out with multiple men, so it wouldn't make any difference if an international visitor were doing the same.  We are supposed to be mostly well adjusted  adults here.

Fourth, would I exchange emails and Skype talks with a woman who was coming to USA on a WMVM visit.  Sure, I would.  I just wouldn't want to see a list of the men's email addresses in the cc line. Don't ask, don't tell is fine.

Fifth, after the gal has completed her WMVM trip, would I feel good about her when she then chooses me?  Yes I would.  It would be a much better feeling to be  the one chosen out of 5, 10, 20 or whatever; rather than the one chosen out of one.

If the woman is paying for everything when she comes here in the same manner that the man pays for everything when he goes there; then the WMVM is a perfectly acceptable way for her to go.  But again,  you don't have to slap people in the face by telling them about other guys (gals).

I say in my unbiased opinion, you are FOS. For you it really is about the biggest bang for your buck isn't it? 

[GoodOlBoy]

Another "classic" ML posting:
 

when anyone advises to be straightforward about WMVM....... it will lead to total failure...

Yeah, God forbid a man should be honest (straightforward) about his intentions with an FSUW. 
 
Deceit, treachery, sneaking around, lying..... these are all tools that should be used when engaging an FSUW in hopes of a long term healthy loving relationship. 
 
GOB

[ML]

It is always interesting to note in these VM vs VO 'discussions'
the 'name calling' that goes on.

Check out which group calls the others 'names.'

Check out which group casts dispersions about the others character and intentions.

Check out which group upholds their viewpoint in a vicious manner.

[Turboguy]

TG, you forgot the third one and the most prevalent.
 
3. The guy thinks these RW are desperate for ANY man carrying a blue passport to take them out of hell and will fight amongst each other (women) to get the desired prize, a trip to Shangri-la.

Yep, I did forget that one, along with the fact that every 21 year old beauty queen is dreaming of a fat, old poor guy to rescue her from poverty.  A quick glance at any MOB site makes that perfectly clear.   (not that I should talk about fat, old poor guys)

[ML]

Most everyone here is or has been married, or had at least one long term relationship.

Before this long term relationship or marriage was entered into, both parties typically had dated several persons before.  This number of previous relationships, whether casual or fairly serious, might be any number, perhaps even upward of 100 or so.

And typically, these previous dates had been with persons who were residents of their home country, probably even their home state or even their home city.

So in reality, most all of us here have been involved in VM behavior.

What is it about the discussions  here that cause such a furor among the VO group, when they themselves have been involved in VM.

Apparently, there are two things:
1) The parties involved are from different countries.
2) The time frame is compressed.

And that these two things should cause such a  ruckus in  the year 2012 is very strange.

We live in an ever shrinking world.  We are constantly aware of persons  from other countries and cultures as  never before.  Most of us  here on this forum would be leaders in trying to open up others minds about multiculturalism, about not looking down on persons  from other countries, etc.

Yet these same people get very upset when the VM that they themselves have  done in their home country, is now being carried out across national borders.

And the compressed time frame also seems to be of great concern. 

But again,  this is 2012.  The computer you just bought is already out of date.  The experiences that you had over a 10 year time period might now be realized by your children in 1 year.  There will be dozens if not hundreds of products on the market in a few months that are totally unknown now.  Life is fast.

Some of you had dates with 10 persons over a time period of 10 years or perhaps one year.  With today's internet based dating sites, you  can arrange dates with 10 persons in a ten day span, or even less.

Think of the behaviors in many aspects of life and in other persons that you accept now that you did not accept 10 years ago.  Don't be coy here.  There are many such things.  Ten years ago you would have gotten up and walked out of the movie theatre or  switched the channel on your TV if certain scenes or themes were shown.  Now you just reach your hand in and get another chip while continuing to watch, even as you might roll your eyes.  Some days you don't even roll your eyes.

How many of you have adult children who lived with (or are living with) a person of the opposite sex before marriage?  You even go visit with them and share meals in their home.  Now, how many of you could  have done this in earlier years and expect to be visited by your parents or grandparents?

Some here are going to feel pretty silly about their current stance on this issue, when X years down the road they are helping their children plan a WMVM trip to another country.  Just like your grandparents might feel now when they visit their unmarried grandchildren with live in partners, and think about how they rejected  this behavior with their peers in earlier decades.

Compressed time frames and persons from different countries.

This is 2012.   

[GoodOlBoy]

Like the commercial says ML, "Stop Digging" .......
 

 
GOB

[Faux Pas]

Some here are going to feel pretty silly about their current stance on this issue, when X years down the road they are helping their children plan a WMVM trip to another country.  Just like your grandparents might feel now when they visit their unmarried grandchildren with live in partners, and think about how they rejected  this behavior with their peers in earlier decades.

Compressed time frames and persons from different countries.

This is 2012.   

ML, character and integrity never goes out of style to those for whom it has meaning.

I have no problem with anyone who chooses to go the WMVM route. Seriously, power to them and I mean that and it doesn't make them bad people. It is those that attempt to justify at the expense of the women with the "oh she should know", "don't ask don't tell" bullshit. You know you wouldn't do such a thing in your home town. Just because you are a tourist doesn't give you a free pass to lying and deceit in a foreign country. That is, if you do indeed have any moral compass or scruples about you. You do it because you can. The strength of your character is what you do when nobody is looking

[LiveFromUkraine]

ML, character and integrity never goes out of style to those for whom it has meaning.

I have no problem with anyone who chooses to go the WMVM route. Seriously, power to them and I mean that and it doesn't make them bad people. It is those that attempt to justify at the expense of the women with the "oh she should know", "don't ask don't tell" bullshit. You know you wouldn't do such a thing in your home town. Just because you are a tourist doesn't give you a free pass to lying and deceit in a foreign country. That is, if you do indeed have any moral compass or scruples about you. You do it because you can. The strength of your character is what you do when nobody is looking

lol  Did you really tell women on the first date about the other women you date? 

[Faux Pas]

lol  Did you really tell women on the first date about the other women you date?

Please do tell me how you extrapolated that inference? 

[CanadaMan]

A long time ago (ten years), near the dawn of internet dating, a Russian woman came to visit me in Canada.

We had been writing, video chatting etc. for a few months prior to her visit.

She stayed at my house for one month. At some point during her visit she called one or two guys who she had also been corresponding with before arriving in Canada. She told me they were her 'friends'.

I had picked her up at the airport when she arrived in Canada.
At the end of her one month stay I dropped her off at a restaurant where she had arranged to meet another guy. I said good bye and off they went in his truck.

She was doing a WMVM here in Canada, 10 years ago. 

[GQBlues]

Not sure why these discussions even turn into 'debates'. Unbelievable!  A red Ferrari doesn't drive any faster or better than a black Ferrari. They'll both get you to your intended destination. One should NOT do things socially elsewhere that they DO NOT or CANNOT do locally.

I notice the seeming 'problems' men have with this endeavor...

a) It appears to me folks get all tied up with the word *date/dating*. As far as I am concerned, I went on my first visit to *meet* women, not to *date* women. What any of these women did not, could not, won't understand with my intent and explanation was not my shortcoming nor my responsibility. I told them what I wanted to do and they are all free to do what they wanted to do in return.

b) Men involved in these affairs/relationship, etc... have a nasty tendency to speak of, treat, discuss, etc...these women in an almost mythical proportion. Get real! They're as much women as any women anywhere. If they like you enough, they'll be more than willing to to do whatever you propose to do and it's up to every individual, men or women, to determine where their bounds and limitations lie.

c) Brown-nosing/patronizing women who you do (yet) not know is arguably the worst first step any man can take on the onset - anywhere or with any woman. You'll just do things in spite of yourself.

Do what is, always had been, comfortable with you. Don't hide it, don't lie about it, don't be coy with it and just let the chips fall where they may. You are after all going through the process of meeting folks you're compatible with and share the same ideals, belief and rationale.

[Faux Pas]

Not sure why these discussions even turn into 'debates'. Unbelievable!  A red Ferrari doesn't drive any faster or better than a black Ferrari. They'll both get you to your intended destination. One should NOT do things socially elsewhere that they DO NOT or CANNOT do locally.

I notice the seeming 'problems' men have with this endeavor...

a) It appears to me folks get all tied up with the word *date/dating*. As far as I am concerned, I went on my first visit to *meet* women, not to *date* women. What any of these women did not, could not, won't understand with my intent and explanation was not my shortcoming nor my responsibility. I told them what I wanted to do and they are all free to do what they wanted to do in return.

b) Men involved in these affairs/relationship, etc... have a nasty tendency to speak of, treat, discuss, etc...these women in an almost mythical proportion. Get real! They're as much women as any women anywhere. If they like you enough, they'll be more than willing to to do whatever you propose to do and it's up to every individual, men or women, to determine where their bounds and limitations lie.

c) Brown-nosing/patronizing women who you do (yet) not know is arguably the worst first step any man can take on the onset - anywhere or with any woman. You'll just do things in spite of yourself.

Do what is, always had been, comfortable with you. Don't hide it, don't lie about it, don't be coy with it and just let the chips fall where they may. You are after all going through the process of meeting folks you're compatible with and share the same ideals, belief and rationale.

This has been my point precisely. At the very least, be a man and own up to it. I don't know what tea leaves LFU has been reading

[BillyB]

Thus, if a man elects to do WMVM, he should keep correspondence to a minimum (e. g., a few phone calls to determine if there is enough compatibility to warrant a meeting).

Agree. A guy should not get too involved and working up emotions and expectations of the ladies he communicates with. He should clearly state he's visiting as friends only.
 
I disagree with the guys who say not answering a question is deceitful. If I did a WMVM and a woman asked if I was seeing others, I would answer her question with a question "Have you committed your life to me and only me?" Most likely her answer will be "no". If "yes" then question her mentality for committing herself to someone she never met.
 
Anybody who's dated a good amount of ladies or at least read the stories here understand reality in the dating game. It's strange in itself a woman wants a man to make a commitment to her without ever seeing each other but she will in a heartbeat drop the guy in a few minutes if she doesn't like what she sees or hears in a first date.
 
Guy sacrifices vacation time and waits a month   to see the gal he's been writing too. Just before his trip she disappears. She had a change of heart or she found better opportunity and took it. Is that bad? Is that good? Is it wrong? Is it her right?
 
All's fair in love and war and the better you understand it, less you will be hurt.

[Shadow]

To answer ML: I have never dated more than one woman at a time. There for I did not change that when going to the FSU, and in the case I should start dating again that will not likely to be different.

My point of view is, and has always been, that if you can handle it locally, you can handle it as a tourist. Do what you are used to, and do not try to change that as it will be a recipe for disaster.

As for the feeling of entitlement because you pay, forget about it. You are not visiting a shop, you are not holding a job interview. So throw those kind of ideas out of the window, before they hit you in the balls.

[Muzh]

Let's address your logical fallacy, shall we?

Most everyone here is or has been married, or had at least one long term relationship.

Before this long term relationship or marriage was entered into, both parties typically had dated several persons before.  This number of previous relationships, whether casual or fairly serious, might be any number, perhaps even upward of 100 or so.

And typically, these previous dates had been with persons who were residents of their home country, probably even their home state or even their home city.

Absolutely. I dated ONE girl during my first quarter in graduate school and then she graduated and moved home. On my second quarter I dated another girl (as in ONE girl). And so on.

So in reality, most all of us here have been involved in VM behavior.

What is it about the discussions  here that cause such a furor among the VO group, when they themselves have been involved in VM.

{Screeching halt}

I visited many spanning a lot of years. Just one at a time.

Apparently, there are two things:
1) The parties involved are from different countries.
2) The time frame is compressed.

And that these two things should cause such a  ruckus in  the year 2012 is very strange.

We live in an ever shrinking world.  We are constantly aware of persons  from other countries and cultures as  never before.  Most of us  here on this forum would be leaders in trying to open up others minds about multiculturalism, about not looking down on persons  from other countries, etc.

So far, so good.

Yet these same people get very upset when the VM that they themselves have  done in their home country, is now being carried out across national borders.

{Screeching halt}

Ahem, you are one of the few who thought that the asshole dating 3 or 4 girls at the same time was cool, didn't you?

And the compressed time frame also seems to be of great concern. 

<snipped diatribe>

Some of you had dates with 10 persons over a time period of 10 years or perhaps one year.  With today's internet based dating sites, you  can arrange dates with 10 persons in a ten day span, or even less.

The vast majority who dated 10 girls in ten years did it one girl at a time. If there were more than one girl during the same time period, that didn't last long because most probably the guy was about to dump girl#1.

Think of the behaviors in many aspects of life and in other persons that you accept now that you did not accept 10 years ago.  Don't be coy here. 

<snipped more diatribe>

Nope, the asshole I knew 10 years ago is still an asshole today.

Try dating more than one woman at a time right now and brag about it. I guess maybe you are oblivious.

Some here are going to feel pretty silly about their current stance on this issue, when X years down the road they are helping their children plan a WMVM trip to another country.  Just like your grandparents might feel now when they visit their unmarried grandchildren with live in partners, and think about how they rejected  this behavior with their peers in earlier decades.

I hope I have taught my children that they should consider other peoples feelings when dealing with them. IOW, treat them as you would like to be treated.

Yea, like you would like to be treated. How about your gal comes home and suddenly blurts out she had a great time with boyfriend #1? Are your knickers going to get bunched up? I bet they will.

Compressed time frames and persons from different countries.

This is 2012.   

My apologies but that doesn't give you license to behave like a cad.

[Milz713]

Not that anyone cares but my vote is 1 trip 1 woman,  I do not understand why some feel that going to the FSU is like looking for a new flat screen TV?  If you do your work ahead of time in talking in skype often and many emails asking detailed questions I dont understand why you think you will need to insult the woman and have a back up plan?  Most FSU women are convinced that all men are cheaters and Sex tourists anyway.  It is up to us to prove that there are still some good men out there.  What I always wondered is what if you have 4 women to meet and you hit it off very well with the first one,  now what do you do?  Sorry honey but I only have 3 days for you but I will call you on my way back through?  If you can afford to take this journey then you should make sure there is a good chance you really like this woman instead of window shopping.  In another thread people say you cant build real feelings through the internet but someplace here it is stated that when you spend so much time with a woman in skype and emails she could have some feelings.   Well from my experience those feelings can become very real rather quickly.  These girls want to feel special and they want to know that they are thinking of giving up everything they know for someone special but you cant become special when you treat them like a used car...