From Heaven to Hell... with a broken heart.

[mikeyUSA]

She is not a "scammer",  but she did "scam" me in the end.

[Daveman]

She is not a "scammer",  but she did "scam" me in the end.

How so?  If you saw her reactivating her profile, and your gut was telling you something was weird with her talking for 90 mins about the job, and then when you said OK she hung up rather abruptly, THEN with all of this, you still sent the money.  How did she scam you?  You tried to win her favor by sending money. 


Listen Mikey, it doesn't matter what she is or what she did - this is all about YOU.  You are the one who was/is in control.  You can blame her all you want but the buck stops with you - in this situation or any in the future.  You chose to send her money.  The lesson here is don't try to win a woman's favor with your wallet and if something seems messed up then it probably is.


There's that old adage "you can't con an honest man".  She wasn't giving you what you wanted so you tried an end around to get it.  As long as you remain focused on her behavior you're not fully taking the lessons here to heart.

[mikeyUSA]

How so?  If you saw her reactivating her profile, and your gut was telling you something was weird with her talking for 90 mins about the job, and then when you said OK yshe hung up rather abruptl, THEN with all of this, you still sent the money.  How did she scam you?  You tried to win her favor by sending money. 


Listen Mikey, it doesn't matter what she is or what she did - this is all about YOU.  You are the one who was/is in control.  You can blame her all you want but the buck stops with you - in this situation or any in the future.  You chose to send her money.  The lesson here is don't try to win a woman's favor with your wallet and if something seems messed up then it probably is.


There's that old adage "you can't con an honest man".  She wasn't giving you what you wanted so you tried an end around to get it.  As long as you remain focused on her behavior you're not fully taking the lessons here to heart.

yep, yep....  yep.

[Gator]

 
Mikey,
 
There is a huge difference between AW mentality and RW mentality about money.  AW would say shame on both you and Ms. Kamchatka about the $2000 travel money.  RW would say 1) shame on you for being so stupid and 2) the woman was entitled to something.  As you can see, the general opinion of the men who know RW also say "shame on you"   for not recognizing the error of your ways.
 
AW are more independent and would have been more direct in making sure you understood the relationship is over (or never was).  And that would have been the end of communication unless there was some form of non-sexual friendship.   There would be no requests for money.  In contrast, some RW (not all) feel the woman is entitled that you should pay for the time she gave you while in Hong Kong even though you failed to meet her expectations. 

There is a thread about "RW entitlement" in the archives.  It discusses the many perspectives and opinions regarding this subject.   A clue was posted in this thread (and keep in mind that Ranetka is intelligent, sincere, and forthright, i. e. one of the many good and decent RW who would make any man proud):

Personally I think she used the last weapon available to get rid of a man - take him for an expensive shopping/ask for money. Agree it was not very pretty asking him for money. However having made my opinion about Mikey reading this thread - I can only imagine how "enjoyable" this whole experience was for her - think what you want of me - these $$$ were well and truly deserved.

IMO Ranetka is 100% correct.  So, in summary, shame on you.   
 
Mikey, do you believe you will ever be  compatible with RW?  With all their admirable values about family and other traditions, they come with some quirks, some more than others.  It is who they are.  I am one of those who find the overall woman delightful, even ignoring their beauty.  Are you one of those blinded by RW beauty so much that you will accept behavior that you would find incompatible in an AW?  I guarantee you that over time you will become tired of taking her crap.  Been there, done that.  There have been several men in thse forums to express the same.
 
Keep in mind that RW vary just as widely as AW.  Thus, you could find among the many an individual RW whose mentality is ideal for you and you would enjoy marital bliss.  It can happen.  Or will your "search" for a soulmate be more successful with AW simply because you know AW better and can thereby eliminate quickly the incompatible AW?
 
Mikey, I appreciate your honesty in disclosing what happened.  You have not tried to pull he wool over our eyes.  Out of curiosity, how much did you spend shopping in Hong Kong for Miss Kamchatka and her child?   Knowing RW, I would not be surprised if you had to pay excess baggage weight for her return trip.   

[ML]

 RW would say 1) shame on you for being so stupid and 2) the woman was entitled to something. 

There is a thread about "RW entitlement" in the archives.  It discusses the many perspectives and opinions regarding this subject.   A clue was posted in this thread (and keep in mind that Ranetka is intelligent, sincere, and forthright, i. e. one of the many good and decent RW who would make any man proud):
 
IMO Ranetka is 100% correct.  So, in summary, shame on you.   

Gator, please clarify. 

Are you saying you have bought into and agree with the RW way of thinking regarding their entitlement?

[Eduard]

Lots of good advice here. I can only add that there is a woman for every man in this world, and Russia is one of the easier places to find your soul mate. Learning the language and the culture would greatly increase your chances.

[CDW]

She is not a "scammer",  but she did "scam" me in the end.

How is it she not a scammer?

Anyone who asks money under false reason is a SCAMMER!!  She asked you for $1,700 for a job in Moscow, but instead, she flew there to meet her new boyfriend!

You sent her money for her to meet her new boyfriend.  How it is not a scammer?

[Ranetka]

  She asked you for $1,700 for a job in Moscow, but instead, she flew there to meet her new boyfriend!

You sent her money for her to meet her new boyfriend.  How it is not a scammer?

How do you know how she spent the money? Can you tell me lottery numbers for tonight as well?

[CDW]

How do you know how she spent the money? Can you tell me lottery numbers for tonight as well?

It doesn't matter how she had spent her money, but she is STILL a scammer!   She already knows that she isn't interested in him, but still asked him for money to fly to Moscow!!  It is a SCAMMER!

She could have gone there by train

[Gylden]

Maybe it's "online begging".....maybe beggars are getting online too??
 

[Ranetka]

It doesn't matter how she had spent her money, but she is STILL a scammer!   She already knows that she isn't interested in him, but still asked him for money to fly to Moscow!!  It is a SCAMMER!

She could have gone there by train

He also knew she was not interested in him. He tried to buy her, I can empathize but it's his fault.


Not a decent move but not a scammer.


Mike, how did you send the money, out of interest, have you supported her before the trip?

[Shadow]

It doesn't matter how she had spent her money, but she is STILL a scammer!   She already knows that she isn't interested in him, but still asked him for money to fly to Moscow!!  It is a SCAMMER!

She could have gone there by train

Are we a little paranoid?
Asking money from friends if in need is nothing unusual. We only have Mikey telling us what he concludes from his point of view, and I think after 13 pages we know that he is not free of bending things in his mind.

[Gator]

Gator, please clarify. 

Are you saying you have bought into and agree with the RW way of thinking regarding their entitlement?

To elaborate, I should have written that Ranetka is 100% consistent with RW mentality.   That makes Ranetka 100% correct regarding the motives and self-justification of Mikey's Miss Kamchatka.
 
Such mentality happens when a society values a woman mostly for her physical attributes.   It exists in spades in the FSU,  in some women more than others.  "Buy me Italian boots."  "Why?"  "Because I am beautiful."
 
No, I do not accept it, much less subscribe to it.  However, I am prepared for it to manifest itself.  Sometimes I let it slide as it is not worth the battle.  Sometimes I believe she deserves something simply because she is beautiful.  Sometimes I say "Maybe."  Sometimes I say "No."   You can call me a hopeless romantic or a generous man or a PWed man.  I don't care; I am happy.

[Gator]

He also knew [ed. should have known] she was not interested in him. He tried to buy her, I can empathize but it's his fault.


Not a decent move but not a scammer.

[Ranetka]

To elaborate, I should have written that Ranetka is 100% consistent with RW mentality.   That makes Ranetka 100% correct regarding the motives and self-justification of Mikey's Miss Kamchatka.
 
Such mentality happens when a society values a woman mostly for her physical attributes.   It exists in spades in the FSU,  in some women more than others.  "Buy me Italian boots."  "Why?"  "Because I am beautiful."
 
No, I do not accept it, much less subscribe to it.  However, I am prepared for it to manifest itself.  Sometimes I let it slide as it is not worth the battle.  Sometimes I believe she deserves something simply because she is beautiful.  Sometimes I say "Maybe."  Sometimes I say "No."   You can call me a hopeless romantic or a generous man or a PWed man.  I don't care; I am happy.

WRONG. Not entitled because she is beautiful but deserves for all emotional shit she had from him.

[Ranetka]

 
Such mentality happens when a society values a woman mostly for her physical attributes.   It exists in spades in the FSU,  in some women more than others.  "Buy me Italian boots."  "Why?"  "Because I am beautiful."
 

That has nothing to do with RUSSIAN mentality, thank you very much.

[Shadow]

That has nothing to do with RUSSIAN mentality, thank you very much.

Exactly. No Russian would want to be seen with Italian boots. Their quality is not up to par with price for the conditions they would have to suffer.

[Gator]

WRONG. Not entitled because she is beautiful but deserves for all emotional shit she had from him.

Mikey, which card did she play when she wanted money? 
 
Card Number One:  "You give me a lot of emotional shit and I don't want it from you anymore.  It is over between us.  I never want to see you again.  However, before you go away, please send me money.   I deserve it from tolerating your pushey ways for a week."
 
Card Number Two:  "We had a lovely time.   I will always remember the intimate evenings when my child went to sleep.  But you push me too much.  You must stop that.  However, you and I are still friends.    How can you not be a friend with someone as beautiful as me?  BTW, you know that I am not happy in Kamchatka.  I have a job opportunity in Moscow.  Will you please help me."

[Hammer2722]

Mikey, which card did she play when she wanted money? 
 
Card Number One:  "You give me a lot of emotional shit and I don't want it from you anymore.  It is over between us.  I never want to see you again.  However, before you go away, please send me money."
 
Card Number Two:  "We had a lovely time.   I will always remember the intimate evenings when my child went to sleep.  But you push me too much.  You must stop that.  However, you and I are still friends.    How can you not be a friend with someone as beautiful as me?  BTW, you know that I am not happy in Kamchatka.  I have a job opportunity in Moscow.  Will you please help me."

 

[Gator]

That has nothing to do with RUSSIAN mentality, thank you very much.

Ranetka, can we  call it BDS, Beautiful Dyevushka Syndrome?  Some RW blatantly behave this way.  Others are more subtle.

[Ranetka]

Mikey, which card did she play when she wanted money? 
 
Card Number One:  "You give me a lot of emotional shit and I don't want it from you anymore.  It is over between us.  I never want to see you again.  However, before you go away, please send me money.   I deserve it from tolerating your pushey ways for a week."
 
Card Number Two:  "We had a lovely time.   I will always remember the intimate evenings when my child went to sleep.  But you push me too much.  You must stop that.  However, you and I are still friends.    How can you not be a friend with someone as beautiful as me?  BTW, you know that I am not happy in Kamchatka.  I have a job opportunity in Moscow.  Will you please help me."

Ha-ha.


She tried both, did not she. Card number one - he would not listen. Now she's got the money and finally got rid of Mike.


Actually Mike said himself she did not even ask him.


He offered. Perhaps because she is beautiful, has a husky voice, sweat smile, cheerful personality, big breasts....


Again it was not a decent thing to do. But I just can not blame her too much.

[Ranetka]

Ranetka, can we  call it BDS, Beautiful Dyevushka Syndrome?  Some RW blatantly behave this way.  Others are more subtle.

Gator, you can if you like.


 Sweet charming personality and a beautiful smile does not mean someone has an entitlement attitude but without being beautiful, nice, sweet and charming the girl will never be successful in getting nice little benefits out of men. And someone who is beautiful, sweet, charming and very materialistic will naturally be moved towards wealthy gentlemen who appreciate beauty and cheerfulness above all other qualities.

[Ranetka]

I do not know, I am confused. Clearly a bad thing to take a money from him at the same time can not stop thinking she deserves it as a compensation. Kind of like insurance payout after an accident lol.

[Ranetka]

Gator, you can if you like.


 Sweet charming personality and a beautiful smile does not mean someone has an entitlement attitude but without being beautiful, nice, sweet and charming the girl will never be successful in getting nice little benefits out of men. And someone who is beautiful, sweet, charming and very materialistic will naturally be moved towards wealthy gentlemen who appreciate beauty and cheerfulness above all other qualities.

So everyone is happy and this is a good thing.


And if this girl really went to see a man, serves her right. She wasted the money and got nothing for it.

[Belvis]

Ranetka, can we  call it BDS, Beautiful Dyevushka Syndrome?  Some RW blatantly behave this way.  Others are more subtle.

Beauty must be encouraged. I would change it to Beautiful Dyevushka Award.