From Heaven to Hell... with a broken heart.

[Ranetka]

Beauty must be encouraged. I would change it to Beautiful Dyevushka Award.

Oh bless. 

[mikeyUSA]

WRONG. Not entitled because she is beautiful but deserves for all emotional shit she had from him.

This is absolutely wrong.  There was ONLY TWO TIMES I lost it with her.  Once in HK when I said I mentioned affection, and the second with our last  conversation.

THERE WAS NO OTHER TIME.   She did not suffer "all this emotional shit" from me.  Of course, I am bad with you guys here.  I did not BEG, I did not LICK her butt, I did not claw at her.  I simple gave her anything she wanted.   When I got back, that's when I saw the new profile photos.  I would email her about every 1 or 2 days with "Hello, how our you. I hope you are over your cold", and she would write back with the weather report.  About 3 times in a 3 week perioud, I would say "I do not miss you".  THAT to her, was me being "pushy".   Hinting for reciprocation, but only getting back the weather report.

Looking back, I really did not know if she liked me or not.  I only our time together to go on.... and it was a very good time.   I know now, that lack of PDA doens't mean you are a limo driver.   ...

[mikeyUSA]

Mikey, which card did she play when she wanted money? 
 
Card Number One:  "You give me a lot of emotional shit and I don't want it from you anymore.  It is over between us.  I never want to see you again.  However, before you go away, please send me money.   I deserve it from tolerating your pushey ways for a week."
 
Card Number Two:  "We had a lovely time.   I will always remember the intimate evenings when my child went to sleep.  But you push me too much.  You must stop that.  However, you and I are still friends.    How can you not be a friend with someone as beautiful as me?  BTW, you know that I am not happy in Kamchatka.  I have a job opportunity in Moscow.  Will you please help me."

Read my latest post regaring "SO much pushing".   Both of these cards are wrong.   Instead, she got on skype, talked about the job, also mentioning she really wants to go, but doesn't think she can go".  she waiting for these exact words from me "I wish I could be of some help", to which she looked up immediately and said "Of course you can help me, let me tell you how you can help me.  This is why I like you, because you are so caring".,.,.   Exact words.

[Ranetka]

Read my latest post regaring "SO much pushing".   Both of these cards are wrong.   Instead, she got on skype, talked about the job, also mentioning she really wants to go, but doesn't think she can go".  she waiting for these exact words from me "I wish I could be of some help", to which she looked up immediately and said "Of course you can help me, let me tell you how you can help me.  This is why I like you, because you are so caring".,.,.   Exact words.

 

[Faux Pas]

mikey

That weather report after all those weather reports were indeed MUCH more than a weather report. You're 40 years old guy, that's not a subtle hint. In fact she was slamming you with a sledge and you still didn't get the message. I'm not sure you get it now. She didn't scam you but she did find another way to send you a message. If she called and asked for more, I'd bet my money that you'd send it.

[Daveman]

...I did not LICK her butt...  I simple gave her anything she wanted.
 

SLLLLLLLUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!   

[mikeyUSA]

SLLLLLLLUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!   

Funny.  For some reason, she seems to think I have a lot of money.  I do, but I didn't intend for her too.    The reason is, when we went to Hong Kong, I got two rooms (connecting), that looked out into the harbor.  Very expensive rooms, but worth it.  I told her I did get them, but she says, "Michael, I try to call the hotel to confirm, but they do not speak to me, they hang up on me.  I need to know that I arrive in HK, that my daughter and I are safe".   So, I send her the reciept of the room to prove I paid for the hotel.  It also had the price for the rooms.  She mentioned, "Michael, such expensive rooms".   To which I replied, "Don't think about it. You think too much about such things. Don't worry".

The date went well. When she got back, there were a few times when she actually initiated the email. But, I did not give her the space, to start to let something grow.   Which eventually led up to my drunken, "You will tell me, yes know or maybe".   ....and utimately, sitting here with you guys.

And yes,  when we were there, if she was busy with her child but was hungry, I told her, "Just order room service".    She would also say, "Michael, we should take a bus, because of all the taxi money", to which I would reply, "No, it's okay, don't worry about it".    She complained about her back, and I said, "Go to the massage parlor".   Michael, I really liked the pasta from the other night, "Okay, we will have it again tonight".   We are at the pool, and the staff came by and asked if we wanted anything, "Sure, I would like this, and also, what would you like?".     

So maybe, she sees that I gave her anything that she wanted, but I did not get on my knees and say, "Please please, can I give you the pasta that you liked?".   

[mikeyUSA]

I wish I had not read her profile.  Because, of course you guys will kick me some more for thinking so much into it....    But, In HK, she said to me a couple of times, "Michael, you americans, you always eat bread.  Too much bread all the time.  You always eat bread".

...and now, my leaving her completely along for a 1.5 weeks, I think, "Ah...   maybe she thinks I do not care about her anymore, and that 'he is buying bread'.

Yeah, I'm rationalizing. I know.   Tommorow, I go to a class at a church for "Relationship addiction".  It is the 'help' that you people are telling me to seek.

[Daveman]

Mikey, remember that reality has little to do with anything.  It's about perceptions.  Put yourself in her position and imagine the scenario.  How would you see yourself?


I'm not bashing you.  One of the mantras of RWD is "Take responsibility for your part".  She's gone.  So the only thing you can deal with is yourself. 

[mikeyUSA]

Mikey, remember that reality has little to do with anything.  It's about perceptions.  Put yourself in her position and imagine the scenario.  How would you see yourself?


I'm not bashing you.  One of the mantras of RWD is "Take responsibility for your part".  She's gone.  So the only thing you can deal with is yourself.

One time, in one of our all night talks, I was telling her about what I read, that 'if you are a russian women 25 and not married, you are too 'old''.  She tells me, "Times have changed, the age is now 30".   I think, this is right before her telling me that all her friends were telling her, "You are 36, what is love, this is the opportunity that you are waiting for".   

In america, the age, I beleive, would be 40 or 50.  If you are not married by then, you will have a very hard time trying to find someone that wants to build a family.   

[Vasilisa]

   But, In HK, she said to me a couple of times, "Michael, you americans, you always eat bread.  Too much bread all the time.  You always eat bread".

That's interesting. To make conclusions like that you have to meet a lot of Americans.
I live in the US and I don't think that Americans eat too much bread.

[mikeyUSA]

That's interesting. To make conclusions like that you have to meet a lot of Americans.
I live in the US and I don't think that Americans eat too much bread.

Well, she said this to me, maybe not just 'americans', because with every breakfast, lunch, dinner, there was bread.  Always bread.  she say this.   One time, I even made a peanut butter/jelly sandwich for her to try (she's never had this).  She said to me, "White bread, it has no quality.  Always bread with you Michael".

[Jumper]

In her shoes, I would think, "I was waiting to see, maybe, but I see he is a drunk and can be dangerous. I must move on to find a better man". I think also, she knows that she is beautiful, and it would not be very hard for her at all to find another man.  Even in Russia.

Sorry Mickey, no pedestal for her.
she may be hot , or not,  but if it was so easy for her to get a man anywhere, she'd have one.


she is single.
She is clearly a user, yes you let her,but she manipulated.

It won't be easy for her with that little inner demon to get *any* man.
*A* man yes, any man for a long term commitment? not so much, and she knows it.
In her Kamchatka location , a pretty low chance. Doll is right.

You said *Even in Russia?* Sorry it may sound harsh but the RM of means there *generally* have lots of younger hot women to mess around with , that are childeless.
In particular RM generally  do not relish the idea of raising another mans child.at all.
Sadly, she might as well have a *Have fun, but do not get serious with me* tattooed on her forehead.

As far as bread, Russians eat bread as much as westerners.She had a individual opinion.
Why on earth you are dwelling on anything  she had to say  is disturbing, i'm glad you are seeking some counseling through your church, or any good resource.

Good luck

[Gator]

Mikey,
 
I congratulate you for taking a class in relationship addiction. Based on what you have revealed here (always in a relationship with little time between women), the course is ideal for you.  As I said before, you should stay unattached for a lengthy period.  Solitude does not equate to loneliness; it is a period for catharsis.
 
One of my business partners went to Nepal.  He went to a monastery and the monks led him on a long trek to the top of a snow covered mountain.    The only shelter was a lean to.  They left him with a sleeping bag and 7 lemons.  He had nothing other than the clothes he wore.  No books, no paper, no pen, nothing.  They returned after one week.  He changed.
 
 
 

[Gator]

Mikey, now that I have given you a pat on the back, it is only fair that I pile on with more criticism. 
My quick calculations suggest you spent $15,000 for a one week holiday in Hong Kong, not counting shopping.  If you got the money, fine!  But don't fret about $2000.  She observed how you spent freely and thought it nothing to you.
 
And why in God's name are you making her a PBJ sandwich?  I did not eat that crap when a student.   You need someone to take you under his wing and teach you taste (literally and figuratively) and how to enjoy the sweet life.
 
And what is the story with the bread?   Russians love bread.   For a Russian to remark that Americans eat a lot of bread is the same as a Russian saying "Americans don't smile enough."

[mikeyUSA]

Mikey, now that I have given you a pat on the back, it is only fair that I pile on with more criticism. 
My quick calculations suggest you spent $15,000 for a one week holiday in Hong Kong, not counting shopping.  If you got the money, fine!  But don't fret about $2000.  She observed how you spent freely and thought it nothing to you.
 
And why in God's name are you making her a PBJ sandwich?  I did not eat that crap when a student.   You need someone to take you under his wing and teach you taste (literally and figuratively) and how to enjoy the sweet life.
 
And what is the story with the bread?   Russians love bread.   For a Russian to remark that Americans eat a lot of bread is the same as a Russian saying "Americans don't smile enough."

Your about there.   But, Like I said to other people, it is not about the money, it is about what happened.  2K or 1 dollar.....

[Belvis]

I did not LICK her butt  ...  I simple gave her anything she wanted.   

  Is it intentional humor or ...? 

In HK, she said to me a couple of times, "Michael, you americans, you always eat bread.  Too much bread all the time.  You always eat bread".

Of course, she did not mean your bread addiction. Bread in russian can mean well-being. She said: you americans don't know poverty, don't experience hardships of life and perhaps care only about money.  I doubt she knew many AM, you've got to deal with one of the stereotypes. More subtle sense of her words is that she did not see your spiritual values.

[Patagonie]

Funny.  For some reason, she seems to think I have a lot of money.  I do, but I didn't intend for her too.    The reason is, when we went to Hong Kong, I got two rooms (connecting), that looked out into the harbor.  Very expensive rooms, but worth it.  I told her I did get them, but she says, "Michael, I try to call the hotel to confirm, but they do not speak to me, they hang up on me.  I need to know that I arrive in HK, that my daughter and I are safe".   So, I send her the reciept of the room to prove I paid for the hotel.  It also had the price for the rooms.  She mentioned, "Michael, such expensive rooms".   To which I replied, "Don't think about it. You think too much about such things. Don't worry".

The date went well. When she got back, there were a few times when she actually initiated the email. But, I did not give her the space, to start to let something grow.   Which eventually led up to my drunken, "You will tell me, yes know or maybe".   ....and utimately, sitting here with you guys.

And yes,  when we were there, if she was busy with her child but was hungry, I told her, "Just order room service".    She would also say, "Michael, we should take a bus, because of all the taxi money", to which I would reply, "No, it's okay, don't worry about it".    She complained about her back, and I said, "Go to the massage parlor".   Michael, I really liked the pasta from the other night, "Okay, we will have it again tonight".   We are at the pool, and the staff came by and asked if we wanted anything, "Sure, I would like this, and also, what would you like?".     

So maybe, she sees that I gave her anything that she wanted, but I did not get on my knees and say, "Please please, can I give you the pasta that you liked?".

Mickey
Sorry but you have all of the licking attitude, between players, we call them "Bob, the nice guy".
You pay very expansive rooms, in HK i think that's really normal as prices are high. OK. Nothing wrong with that. But why did you tell her each time such thing ???  "Don't think about it. You think too much about such things. Don't worry".
You convey two messages totally in your disfavour : 
1/ you tell her : i do nothing special for you, i do it  usually anytime. She understands "this guy does nothing special for me - i am not special". When i will be special ? Let try this watch for 6000 $. And this car for 55000 $.

2/ You do something out of your daily life : you start to date out of your court financially insinuating this is the normal life. You don't know not yet but this will be in the future (WITH ALL RW women) a recipe for a disaster. And you will come here saying : she scams me. NO you invited her to enjoy  your false generosity (the guy who cuts him an arm and say : take, no, non, this is nothing i offer you for free, and after he comes saying someone has robbed me an arm).

If a RW woman thinks that you have a lot of money it is generally because you let her believe it.
If a RW believes it so you are expected to deliver her a level of financial commitment. Below you are a greedy man, which is, with a RW the kiss of the death.
Problems will happen later after two or three dating stages. You will think "now we need to slow down the cruising speed, it will be not possible to maintain such level of expenses on a daily basis". And she will think "now it is time to really enjoy my life because my man has so much money".
The problem is RW have no clue (even if they think they have) about costs in the west (They translated $ in rouble or grivna which lets them with an unbelievable amout of local money, multiplied all by 5, 10 or 20 or 30 depending of what both are earning). They are not capable to translate it in mensual/annual purchase power in practice  even if they, of course, are perfectly capable to understand this concept.
The first date with a woman is crucial in seduction speaking. But the beginning of a relationship  with a RW is crucial for the  future in term of material court (financial style of life). It is better to play it below what you can offer than higher, letting you some margin. I prefer to tell to my GF : i am an average guy .... and give her some positives surprises. You start the set with more comfort during the relationship.

Giving to a woman anything she needs is a TYPICAL licking (and wussy) attitude which never works on the term with women, and totally comfirmed when the guy is minimizing the efforts he does.
Giving anything to a woman is a killer attraction on the term. The guys who do such a thing are viewed by not having a personality. Rare will be the women who will stay with such man, even if he has a lot of money. And worse if they loose respect for him, depending on their own morale, they will take advantage of him.

[Patagonie]

My opinion about you is that in FSU there are many wolfs, and you are sheep.
You only should consider your adventure protected by professionals like Jack or Eduard or Mark Davis.
Your education about women is  zero, your social intelligence is low.
It will take too much time for you to learn or you should devoted minimum 3 years only to be ready to really meet women on an healthy basis and with a minimum knowledge of international dating.

The best is for you, under the protection of these professionals, to get a lovely, gentle, simple, tender, genuine, honest, devoted lady (choising in the maximum of  8.2 range to stay in your court and not screwing your chances in the future).
just my 2 cents.

Now guy i offer you to discuss in private on video if you want. Send me a PM.

[mikeyUSA]

mikey

That weather report after all those weather reports were indeed MUCH more than a weather report. You're 40 years old guy, that's not a subtle hint. In fact she was slamming you with a sledge and you still didn't get the message. I'm not sure you get it now. She didn't scam you but she did find another way to send you a message. If she called and asked for more, I'd bet my money that you'd send it.

I want to revise my "just got back weather reports".   I should clarify that a typical repose from her would be, "It is cold and rainy in Kamchatka and I think I start to get a cold.  I will visit a friends home tomorrow, and my daughter will go back to school".    What I was 'hoping' to get back was "I enjoyed my trip with you, but now that I'm back, I wish I was still in Hong Kong".

Her words, exactly, one time, was, "Of course, I start to remember my wonderful trip, with you, mikey.  My English / your Russian...".   

It was the updated photo's and pic's that were  "the warning signs", and also her "Trip to SPB?" that got me confused one week after HK.   Maybe, since I was always available, she had me on the back burner.  Like you guys said, "date multiple people", and she still had someone to meet, and didn't want to give me any "you are the right one for me", before she met the other man.   Dont care anymore.  I'm not even angry, I'm just numb to the whole thing.

...and no, I haven't 'looked' at her since that night. I'm feeling a lot better, and I came here 'to review'.