Curious about mistakes I made

[JayH]

 

As for the fraud...  .  Let me say that I think the majority of the women are not interested in fraud.  Read the tips, learn the signs

Now you have such a good handle on all this--be sure to let us all know here of what transpires.

[Pkeel]

Well Jay I certainly hope it did not sound like that.   

A Quote from you:
My view is a girl costs a guy money-- that is scamming.

   I hope you take that in the manner in which I meant it.

[SANDRO43]

What are the early signs of a Pro-Dater...

Although designed for scammers in general, you might yet get a few useful hints from our old Scam Score Card (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=37) .

[JayH]

Well Jay I certainly hope it did not sound like that.   

A Quote from you:
My view is a girl costs a guy money-- that is scamming.

   I hope you take that in the manner in which I meant it.

If they are my words I am certain you have quoted out of context--- and you need   to add the qualifying words pronto.

[ukthesis]

Thanks guys and there's a lot of reading!  Just starting out on this, I'm only researching and I'm not sure whether to take the big steps.

On the one hand, I live in the UK.  So flights to the Ukraine are not expensive and Russia isn't that far off compared to the guys who have to travel over there from the USA.

On the other hand, it seems that every guy who contacted me so far has been the victim of scammers or Pro-Daters while visiting the Ukraine.  So they make the huge efforts to go over there only to have some women attempt to rip them off.

I am told that the scammers are in the minority, which if true is good to know, but I've not heard of stories in which guys have gone there and found that the woman they first contacted on the web was one that they could trust, which is pretty alarming.

Another point that comes through is that as I don't have the means to keep a Russian lady over here in the UK indefinitely (like most guys, my savings are finite) I would have to seriously consider going for a Ukrainian aged in her very early 40s.  I am 60 years old.  I am told that definitely Ukrainians in their 50s and those even in their late 40s are loath to even try to look for work in the west to help her man out. 

I believe that in this game, you can get quite wide age variations, but my attempting to connect with a woman almost 20 years my junior will at the least raise eyebrows of disapproval.  In addition, if she is attractive looking, there is the worry that once she settles over here she might start looking at guys more her age.

So there is the promise of something special coming from these Ukrainian gals.  But what I have seen is that you have to be absolutely DETERMINED and committed to see it through despite the obstacles that will probably come your way, if you want the prospect of a happy outcome. 

So this is quite a big gamble, and there are no guarantees at the end of the process.

Is this fair or am I being too pessimistic?

[GQBlues]

...Another point that comes through is that as I don't have the means to keep a Russian lady over here in the UK indefinitely (like most guys, my savings are finite) I would have to seriously consider going for a Ukrainian aged in her very early 40s.  I am 60 years old.  I am told that definitely Ukrainians in their 50s and those even in their late 40s are loath to even try to look for work in the west to help her man out. 

I believe that in this game, you can get quite wide age variations, but my attempting to connect with a woman almost 20 years my junior will at the least raise eyebrows of disapproval.  In addition, if she is attractive looking, there is the worry that once she settles over here she might start looking at guys more her age.

So there is the promise of something special coming from these Ukrainian gals.  But what I have seen is that you have to be absolutely DETERMINED and committed to see it through despite the obstacles that will probably come your way, if you want the prospect of a happy outcome. 

So this is quite a big gamble, and there are no guarantees at the end of the process.

Is this fair or am I being too pessimistic?

Unbelievable.
 
Unbelievable not because of the silliness of your post. Unbelievable because the post isn't written by an American.
 
Anyway, as Donna_Pedro once coined the phrase, "...If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster!". Do the ladies of EE a favor, uk, search for your retirement plan with the local ladies...

[ukthesis]

Interesting that you aren't looking for a local woman yourself, man ... is there something I should know?

[Faux Pas]

Interesting that you aren't looking for a local woman yourself, man ... is there something I should know?

uk, there has been some pretty good vital information in response to your questions. For some reason you keep reverting back to the agency Baltic Ladies (or whatever hyperbole). That is the last place you will find accurate information. Forums are a good place but you must separate the wheat from the chafe. You still seem to have an attraction to the chafe more than the wheat.

Nothing is cut and dried. Everything will depend on what your expectations are and what your realities are. Asking questions and getting information is good however, it isn't worth a plug nickel if you don't soak it in.

[GQBlues]

Interesting that you aren't looking for a local woman yourself, man ... is there something I should know?

Sure. One great reason is...I'm already married.
 
Although I wasn't looking to get married just so the woman can eventually support my cheap arse, incuding but not limited to, cleaning it up and changing my diapers.
 
I suggested you go local because chances are the women in your backyard would already be established so you won't have to waste whatever precious days you have left in your personal calendar looking for someone who you seem to be searching for to eventually support your tired ol' arse.

[BillyB]

Another point that comes through is that as I don't have the means to keep a Russian lady over here in the UK indefinitely (like most guys, my savings are finite)

Just be honest with the ladies you write to about your financial situation before ever visiting them. They need a clear understanding that you have limited money and that a woman would need to work and contribute financially if she were to be married to you. There are RW that have no problem working while being married to a man.....as long as he's not lazy.

[JohnDearGreen]

[size=78%]Is this fair or am I being too pessimistic?[/size]

Well, UK, somewhat silly to make generalizations.  But if you want to generalize, many of the ladies
you will meet might fall in 2 categories:
a) those who would be content to jump in the boat with you back to the UK, but don't have a serious
enough interest in you to even make up a good lie.
b) those who are very willing and able to bend the truth and/or avoid it, and would do anything necessary
to snare you.
Choose your poison.  Dishonesty and lies are a bigger problem with FSU ladies than scamming. 
If you are lucky enough to find one of the other 10%, you will probably be so paranoid that you will probably
think she's just gotta be type a or b above.

[Pkeel]

The die is cast.

[GQBlues]

The die is cast.

Pkeel-

What's with all the 'The die is cast' stuff?  Did you need a soundtrack with this or what?

You're just going on a date, man!

[Daveman]

Pkeel-

What's with all the 'The die is cast' stuff?  Did you need a soundtrack with this or what?

You're just going on a date, man!

And there again is the nutshell...




Take the pressure of *anything else* off of it.  Meet, and if interest continues beyond this point then have fun, get to know more about each other, see if you both would like to meet up again, start planning next visit.

[rockford75]

Nothing to predict. Your starting in the same place I did 2yrs ago and now iam married to the lady. All I can say is keep being honest and talking and you should be fine. Above all that HAVE FUN!!