Not Russian Custom

[Maxx]

It seems funny to me that the guys have to concern themselves about whether their hundreds of dollar gifts are wrong or not. Now I know that buying a stove, washing machine, or vacuum cleaner is pushing it a bit. As they are the traditional tools of women for work they often despise. No sense reminding them of that. But a camera or a bowling ball? Those are for fun.

Perhaps SOC your wife knows that

1) She will end up keeping the camera and

2) You will end up buying her something else...

 

Maxx

[Daknack]

Does that mean I should get an attitude about getting tools as gifts?

[Maxx]

I wonder what would happen if SOC took the camera back and then bought a box of chocolates, red roses from the grocery store (nice ones) and perhaps a light weight gold chain bracelet from a discount store like Sam's Club? With the net value of the second set of gifts a 1/3 to 1/2 of the other?

Maxx

[Maxx]

Does that mean I should get an attitude about getting tools as gifts?

If you do, try and restrain yourself from hitting me with your pipe wrench OK?

 

Maxx

PS Danack, we are talking about women here. They have their own sort of logic.

 

 

[Daknack]

There isnt anything wrong at all with the gift as it has been given.  She never said she didnt like it, but that she felt others could use it and felt that a gift more for her would be better.  I wouldnt return it and I tell her its her gift bit if she wants to share it with the family that is her perogative.  And Id definatly have had a thing to say about the attitude.

[Daknack]

Does that mean I should get an attitude about getting tools as gifts?

If you do, try and restrain yourself from hitting me with your pipe wrench OK?
 
Maxx

PS Danack, we are talking about women here. They have their own sort of logic.[/quote]
I think you mean lack thereof my good man. 

 Dont worry Ive never hit anyone since Ive been out of high school that didnt hit me first.  Plus Id use a sledge  not a pipewrench.  In repair you have to have the right tool for the right job  

[Maxx]

Really this thread is about RW/UW bluntness and lack of concern about offending others. RW/UW for all their femininity seem to be lacking graciousness, gratitude and manners. There was a big thread at the other place about "Their Lack of Thank You's".

Maxx   

[BC]

In the circumstances it was given (old camera broke), considering a lack of previously expressed interest in photography and possibly not even being able to fully utilize it (manual in english), my wife would have reacted similarly.

When a man has more fun playing with his wifes gift than she will it's a bad choice.

It's not a RU thing.. my experiences with other women have been similar.

My wife says: "Teknik is for men."  

[Son of Clyde]

Well the camera has mysteriously disappeared from the shelf. It is either in the trash or maybe she is hiding it or has given it away.

I gave her this gift because my old camera had broken down as we were transferring family pictures onto my pc into her "pictures" folder. She threw the old camera away and then I found out we could have kept the memory card to transfer the pictures. Now it appears the new camera is gone.

[jb]

Rose said:

Maybe I shouldn't give here any advices for you, but it seems to me that next holiday the best persent which you can do for both of you is get her a GC and divorce papers in a greeting card.    Just get rid of her, she is like a poison for you, don't you see it?

Hard words from a RW who probably sees things more clearly than most. 

If any man here had said this he'd prolly be bannished from the kingdom.

[jb]

BTW, BC, I liked your picture of the harbor.  Next time, I'd recommend you get seated by a clean window. 

[ConnerVT]

Maybe I shouldn't give here any advices for you, but it seems to me that next holiday the best persent which you can do for both of you is get her a GC and divorce papers in a greeting card. Just get rid of her, she is like a poison for you, don't you see it?

Hard words from a RW who probably sees things more clearly than most. 
[/quote]
I noticed this as well...

[MandM]

Well, I was hoping that above statement was a joke, as it was way too harsh. 

I would have been very grateful to get a camera on my birthday, especially if I needed one. Its not like getting a vacuum cleaner or an iron or something!Clydovich, is it possible that she was expecting to get something else?

Anyway, I wouldnt serve her with divorce papers just yet.

[Son of Clyde]

I am not getting the papers ready, she called me at work to say she loves me.

Personally, this situation seems to be unrelated to her being a Russian woman. She just has a different way of seeing things.

[BC]

.. side effects of long bachelorhood.

[rose]

Maybe I shouldn't give here any advices for you, but it seems to me that next holiday the best persent which you can do for both of you is get her a GC and divorce papers in a greeting card. Just get rid of her, she is like a poison for you, don't you see it?

Hard words from a RW who probably sees things more clearly than most. 

If any man here had said this he'd prolly be bannished from the kingdom.
[/quote]
 

Well, when enough is enough?

Sorry, I didn't mean to break the rules, never will give such advice any more. Everybody should decide for themselves in such situation.

The thing which I know for shure, very often when we are INSIDE the situation our emotions blur the real picture.

At the end, every one chooses their own way and have to live happy or miserably depending on that choice.

[jb]

I was not chastising you, Rose, merely commenting on your ability to get right to the heart of things.

[Wayne]

SOC, I seem to remember that this is your first marriage.  Is that right?  Buying gifts for any woman can be tricky.  A man would most likely appreciate a practical gift, but not always a woman.  With my Daughters, I usually take them to the mall and have them pick out the clothes or whatever.  I tell them ahead of time the dollar limit to spend.  My Son, on the other hand, does not make a big deal about presents.  One Christmas, I built him a queen size bed.  He was sleeping with the materess on the floor.  I did buy him a nice digital camera for one birthday.  He used it a little, but I do not think he is good at photography. 

Anyway, you should just discuss with your Wife ahead of time about the presents.  If you surprise her with something, just have the receipt handy. 

You should be able to discuss with your wife what happened to the new camera.  Perhaps she just put it away somewhere. 

For my plans with oksana, I will discuss with her that she should not ever throw away any of my things without first telling me about it.  For example, I have some very old clothes that used to be my Father's.  He died in March, 1992.  I feel somehow closer to my Father when I wear something that he wore.  My Niece, Brenda, kept his bath robe for the same reason. 

The main thing I am trying to say is that it is important to be open and honest with you wife.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROSE!

 

[rose]

I was not chastising you, Rose, merely commenting on your ability to get right to the heart of things.

As our dear friend Tim7 said:

"Experience kiddo!

Experience!"

(I hope nobody will not be offended by "kiddo" part. As we say in Russia "You cannot throw away words from a song".)

 Thank you, Wayne, this is a beautiful flower!!!

As to my birthday: guys, it's April 23, not now. I just let you know in advance so you could have some time to think about gifts.

PM me for a mailing address. Gosh, I'm so shy!!!

P.S. Will give you a hint: the best present for me will be if somebody will help me to find a job in computer science(software engineering, programming, web design, etc). I'll be done with my course work in a month and will have to finish Masters Project. And since I don't have any work experience in the US it'll be a trick to find a good job right away.

[Son of Clyde]

As to my birthday: guys, it's April 23, not now. I just let you know in advance so you could have some time to think about gifts.

I will not forget your birthday, it's the same day as mine. Different year of course.

[KenC]

Clydeovich,

I have never shied away from critisizng some of your past behavior, but I have to say that I am with you on this one.  Taking into consideration the back story you provided, a new digital camera is a fine and thoughtful gift. 

It is you that is owed an apology for your wife's ungrateful behavior.  I won't suggest a divorce, but a good conversation regarding her behavior and your thought process regarding the gift selection is warrented.  Even though Russians tend to be much more blunt than us Americans does not excuse her hurtful words.  Talk it out.

One thing that I have learned about RW in the 7 years with my wife, is that they really do emphasis the importance of their birthdays.  After 6 failed attempts, I finally got my wife's last birthday right!  A big dinner at a fancy restaurant with her closest 8 friends and a big bucks shopping excursion to the "designer mall" in Costa Mesa.  After what it cost me, I may go back to being wrong next year.

I hate giving money for a personal gift, like a birthday, but my wife is a pain in the azz to buy for.  Hell, she even returns half the items she buys for herself!  But even she has learned to show gratitude for my past feeble attempts.

KenC

[rose]

Write us what your wife will give you as a birthday present.

P.S. I wonder if SoC will throw a feet if he will not like it, and how his wife will respond

[Maxx]

I'll be on the road a few days on a business trip. So my parting words to SOC is to not divulge to this board or to your wife about your new financial advisor's most sought after skill.

Perhaps Clyde, a little KenC type confrontation to your wife about her behavour in regard to the camera incident? So what happened to the camera anyway?

Maxx

[ConnerVT]

As to my birthday: guys, it's April 23, not now. I just let you know in advance so you could have some time to think about gifts.

Then, interestingly enough, you share this with both SOC and me.  And of course, this year we share it with Easter in Russia...

[KenC]

Um,

My birthday is also on April 23rd.  How weird is that?  Four people here have the same birthday.

KenC