Divorce finally final after 3 years and 3 different lawyers for her.

[GregfromGa]

I find your story intersting Greg,


If it were me, I think I would be completely delighted by the new freedom, especially since you had a hard time with some of the ex-wife's habits/customs...The ice cream thing you mentioned would be aggravating...my wife has a couple of those weird things too...I accept that I'm going to catch a little hell but do them anyway...no biggee for me.




I'm guessing your age is somewhere in the 50's...What do you intend to do in terms of dating now? Your children are young and I think you are probably correct in your assessment regarding your wife wanting less time with them after her new child is born.  I had a 50/50 after my divorce with an AM, which still gave me plenty of time to enjoy women and other things. 


Good luck with it all,


Fathertime!

I'm 44 and as for dating who knows.  I still keep myself fit. When I say fit, well I can run 7 miles without much trouble. My focus is my kids and work. I am happy about my freedom. I didn't have to file for divorce but I knew I couldn't continue down the road we were on without some intervention. I just didn't want to spend the rest of my kids days in the house with her and her mother. The mother will be arriving just in time for the baby. Better that poor bastard than me is all I can say. I guess if Doll has someone in mind then maybe. LOL..I've dated my fair share since the split. My schedule usually dictates how successful it is. Right now I have a little something going on on a couple of fronts. I'm a long way from marriage again.

[Gator]

I still tell friends about LaTerisita where you took us that night. I've been 3 times since we went there. LOL, great food. It was a good evening friend.

Yes, food quality::price ratio is very high.  Give me a call the next time you are here.
 
I met Greg and his wife years ago.  Greg was very attentive, and the two seem to adore each other. 
 
Something changed between them.  As with any divorce, I am sure each shares some culpability.   Does it matter who did what?  Absolutely not.  In modern law, dissolution of a marriage does not require a showing of wrongdoing by either party. 
 
I find it revealing that one party marries soon, as if that party is dependent upon others to give them happiness.  Greg it seems is accepting responsibility for his own happiness.    Hopefully he will learn to not let his ex-wife's new husband upset him unless the jerk is bad for his children.   

[fathertime]

I'm 44 and as for dating who knows.  I still keep myself fit. When I say fit, well I can run 7 miles without much trouble. My focus is my kids and work. I am happy about my freedom. I didn't have to file for divorce but I knew I couldn't continue down the road we were on without some intervention. I just didn't want to spend the rest of my kids days in the house with her and her mother. The mother will be arriving just in time for the baby. Better that poor bastard than me is all I can say. I guess if Doll has someone in mind then maybe. LOL..I've dated my fair share since the split. My schedule usually dictates how successful it is. Right now I have a little something going on on a couple of fronts. I'm a long way from marriage again.

44 plenty young still!  I'm 45 and might walk 7 miles over the course of week, including all my frequent trips to the bathroom!   



Well overall, you got some pretty good mileage out of your ex in terms of she had a couple children with you.  I found that somehow keeping a good relationship with the ex, makes life much better for everybody...happier kids, less money on lawyers, and more cooperation between ex'es will give you more freedom with your time when you really need it.  I've been down both roads in terms of cooperation between an ex...as much as you are no longer a fan of your ex'es, I'd say keeping that relationship as civil as you can should be a consideration. 


Fathertime!

[Gator]

For those new to the story, Greg has posted many times that he was pissed with his ex wife for teaching his kids Russian instead of English. When it was suggested that he spends some time with his kids teaching them his mother tongue he made the excuse that he wasn't at home enough - so, absent father too. We can perhaps start to see why she "changed".

Do you realize that you sound like a gossiping babushka. 
 
Greg now has his children all to himself on Wednesdays and every other weekend.  He will now have a larger influence. 

The superstitions he mentions are generally par for the course when you marry a village girl. You pretty much get what you ask for there I'm afraid. 

Big city RW can also be superstitious, some particularly so.   My wife worked in Europe off and on over 15 years and worked with Europeans with impeccable tastes, yet she subscribes to many superstitions.   Even though we have known each other for almost 8 years, I am still learning of new superstitions.
 
We have discussed her many superstitions in depth.    Her beliefs are imprinted from many of them having coming true.    For peace in my family, I go along with her if it costs me nothing more than words.  It means so little in the end.
 

For what it's worth; it's a damn good thing when a FSUW speaks to your kids in their native langue and the experts even recommend it. Kids will always end up preferring the language of their peers eventually anyway.  Any extra languages they pick up on the way are a bonus and good for their development.

Agree.  Yet, if the father does not speak Russian, family conversations need to be in English.

[Gator]

 I've been down both roads in terms of cooperation between an ex...as much as you are no longer a fan of your ex'es, I'd say keeping that relationship as civil as you can should be a consideration. 

I agree with you.  However, it can become tedious, so much biting of the tongue is necessary. 

[fathertime]

I agree with you.  However, it can become tedious, so much biting of the tongue is necessary.

Hi Gator! 


I wasn't really thinking in terms of biting of the tongue.  I'd say that saying what you want, and yet being polite about it goes a long way. 


Fathertime! 

[GregfromGa]

Gator you are so right my friend. I enjoy the hell out of my time. I'm here with my B4 this weekend. I let G7 go with her mom to a birthday party today.It was best for the G7. Maybe thibgs are getting better. If I want to feed them ice cream and apple pie for breakfast than I can do that without getting the law called on me. Speaking of apple pie and ice cream for breakfast that's exactly what we had yesterday. LOL, I don't spoil my kids but I do give them cold stuff to drink and have no problem with some candy every now and then. My B4 loves watching football with his papa and wrestling. Things that would've been impossible before.

[Boethius]

I find it revealing that one party marries soon, as if that party is dependent upon others to give them happiness.  Greg it seems is accepting responsibility for his own happiness.    Hopefully he will learn to not let his ex-wife's new husband upset him unless the jerk is bad for his children.   

Three years is not particularly soon.

[Boethius]

I've only had my kids around a girlfriend if they had kids. The guy that married my ex never spent a day with my kids until they were married.

IMHO, that is a mistake.   They should not be exposed to women you are dating casually.  Were you in a serious relationship, that would be something different.

I guess I'm more disappointed that she moved off from this house and left our cat to fend for himself.  I mean how hard would it have been to pick up the phone and say "hey you know that cat we've had since he was an abandoned kitten  10 years ago, well how about taking him a bag of food by there and opening it up and sticking it on the back deck".

You are still failing to recognize a Ukrainian peasant mentality, even if it is "selyanska intelligentsiya".   

[GregfromGa]

IMHO, that is a mistake.   They should not be exposed to women you are dating casually.  Were you in a serious relationship, that would be something different.
 

You are still failing to recognize a Ukrainian peasant mentality, even if it is "selyanska intelligentsiya".   

We went to a park. Kids played with other kids. I didn't have them over my place.

[Ade]

Do you realize that you sound like a gossiping babushka. 
 

Dude, you've been sounding like a silly old fart for years, even before that hit on the head made you seem even more addled.

[Ade]

Kudos to AnonMod for the Ade edit.   

It's a little unfortunate confidences need to be kept. Greg attempts to paint himself as the stand up good guy that's an innocent victim when in fact he's at least as much to blame as his ex - and that's going by what he's posted himself over the years. What he's left unsaid is probably more damning.

Assume that what men say is gospel if you wish but that'll make you an even bigger idiot than I know you to be. Oh, I forget, you have a tendency to swallow BS from strangers.

[Daveman]

It seems that this is an example of the "different mentality" at work. 


MIL is the family dictator... seems the fruit fell and got caught on one of the branches.  When MIL is present, she assumes controlling role, and when not, Dictator II wants complete control over the family.  My crystal ball predicts some major problems over the kids in the not so distant future.  I truly hope not, but I would be shocked if those control issues do not manifest on that front.


Whatever the cause of divorce, they're moving forward in different directions.  Best wishes for you and your children moving forward, Greg. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

It's a little unfortunate confidences need to be kept. Greg attempts to paint himself as the stand up good guy that's an innocent victim when in fact he's at least as much to blame as his ex - and that's going by what he's posted himself over the years. What he's left unsaid is probably more damning.

Assume that what men say is gospel if you wish but that'll make you an even bigger idiot than I know you to be. Oh, I forget, you have a tendency to swallow BS from strangers.

Why does it concern you so much?  You don't have to believe him nor does anyone else.  Either way, it is over with and the blame game is rather silly at this point.  It simply doesn't matter.

[GregfromGa]

Ade, feel free to stay out of any thread I start if it makes you feel better. You seemed to get a little worked up at times. I guess we are all strangers here but I have met no fewer than 10 members here in the past. Doesn't matter. I've pretty much put most of it out there here or on the old RWG since 2001. I certain think I'm a stand up guy. The biggest compliment people can ever pay you is if they trust you with their children. As a volunteer coach and coordinator for another youth program I'm doing great in that regard. My reputation in my community has been earned. It's still intact. Don't know your entire story. Could care less. I know you're relatively outspoken here and you've been on my ass since the time arrived here for whatever reason. I'm sure you are well educated with zero skeletons.
Daveman, as far your dictator assumption you are right in certain respects. I only wanted English spoken to the kids either in or out of the house. The big battle is over once she was in contempt of court for visitation. Her lawyer was smart enough to get her in line before she got preggers. I certainly appreciate your sentiments moving forward with this phase of this train wreck. I think the kids are doing good.

[Ade]

Why does it concern you so much?  You don't have to believe him nor does anyone else.  Either way, it is over with and the blame game is rather silly at this point.  It simply doesn't matter.

Concerned? Me? lol

But what I do find pathetic and always have is people portraying themselves as something they are not.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Concerned? Me? lol

But what I do find pathetic and always have is people portraying themselves as something they are not.

Well, you and I don't really know, do we?  We can make judgement calls based on what is written.  But some of this is a matter of context.


For instance, you stating he hated on his wife for teaching Russian would make Greg a bad person in many eyes.


Now, if you added more context to that and said his daughter needed speech therapy and Russian maybe interfering with English (which she absolutely needs being in America), that paints an entirely different picture.


Of course, you wouldn't deliberately forget those types of facts when you start talking about how someone is bad, would you?   

[GregfromGa]

Concerned? Me? lol

But what I do find pathetic and always have is people portraying themselves as something they are not.

My apologies Ade, I swear on the eyes of my children that I honestly thought you were a female. I have seldom read what you have posted so many times here. I need to do better I guess. Without taking the time to do so, did you ever marry your Russian girl. Again I'm sorry for not realizing you were a guy.

[fathertime]

Concerned? Me? lol

But what I do find pathetic and always have is people portraying themselves as something they are not.

What specifically makes you feel like Greg is misrepresenting something about himself?  I don't see it. 


 Yes it would be somewhat interesting to read, but it would probably just be the standard BS.  From Greg's writing it seems obvious that this marriage was not working and probably wasn't going to work for anyone, so the decision to divorce seemed like a good one and the fact that he would like to speak about it here(giving his version) is not unreasonable. 


Fathertime! 

[GregfromGa]

What specifically makes you feel like Greg is misrepresenting something about himself?  I don't see it. 


 Yes it would be somewhat interesting to read, but it would probably just be the standard BS.  From Greg's writing it seems obvious that this marriage was not working and probably wasn't going to work for anyone, so the decision to divorce seemed like a good one and the fact that he would like to speak about it here(giving his version) is not unreasonable. 


Fathertime!

It's ok Fathertime, people are what they are. I used to hangout here back in the day. maybe I shot him straight one time and ruffled his feathers but I promise I have thought this entire time that ADE was a female but it's hard to remember everyone over the years.

[Daveman]

I'd appreciate it if everyone would use a little self-moderation before the thread spirals - to keep the discussion civil.


From the RWD Vision:

RWD stresses inclusivity and self-moderation amongst the members who join our site.RWD promotes spirited, even heated, discourse and exchange - within the confines of civil behavior and with a focus on increasing our collective knowledge and understanding of these international unions.
RWD practices tolerance of diversity in opinions expressed and experiences shared, and promotes the notion of individual choice wherever and whenever possible.

If you (anyone) feel you cannot comply, please remove yourself from further commentary in this thread/discussion so that others may continue without you.

[BillyB]

 

BB, you have what is called in Rooskie a spore-knee Va PROSS bc of the cirxumstances of your marriage & u kick a man when he's down.  Classy

 
LT, Greg seemed to handle what I've written without getting upset. Is it possible you're overreacting? It takes a lot of courage for a person to write about a divorce they're going through on a public forum but I suspect they do it to help others learn things like this can happen instead of wanting sympathy. My posts to Greg was not to kick him when he's down but to help him move on with his life. It's possible I care more about Greg's future by saying something constructive more than you by staying silent. Greg is going through a lot of emotions but he can't move on successfully if he blames the wrong things and one of the things he blamed for his wife changing was women's forums. His wife chose to read topics at forums that would assist her goals.
 
 

Glad I am not in need of adump truck in NE California.

 
It's easy to not want to do business with someone you disagree with but take that attitude to your wife when disagreeing and see how productive it will be. That's not a healthy attitude to have over a little disagreement..
 
 

How do you know what she read and IF she read any of this "stuff" at all?

 
People tend to read what suits them best and to fulfill their needs. It's always possible that the person who wants to save the marriage reads advice on how to divorce ugly and the person who wants a divorce reads advice on how to save and improve the marriage but highly unlikely.
 
 

I have no doubts my son will come live with me when he is of age.

I have a son, born in Ukraine, that turned 17 and came to live with me a few months ago. He's not my biological son since his father was in a relationship with his mother before I but he grew up with me and considers me his father. His mother likes to bad mouth anybody and everybody including me but he's old enough to figure out the truth and he became turned off to his mother. One night at midnight, he left his car and belongings behind and drove his bicycle to my house. From his mom's city to my city it took him 4 1/2 hours in the dark. I woke up to see him sleeping on the couch and he told me what he done.
 
Take the high road Greg. Don't bad mouth the mother, her boyfriends, or the MIL in front of the kids. You're going to have to bite your tongue some days but your kids will grow up and figure it all out and may choose you to be with.
 
 

MIL is the family dictator... seems the fruit fell and got caught on one of the branches.  When MIL is present, she assumes controlling role, and when not, Dictator II wants complete control over the family. 

 
If any man has somebody that's interfering and compromising his marriage, he needs to get the person out of his affairs even if it's a MIL. If a couple is having marital problems, a good parent would help find a solution and strengthen the marriage between her children, not assist with ending it.

[lordtiberius]

May you reap what you sow

[Doll]

 
 
   
 
 
 
 
People tend to read what suits them best and to fulfill their needs. It's always possible that the person who wants to save the marriage reads advice on how to divorce ugly and the person who wants a divorce reads advice on how to save and improve the marriage but highly unlikely.
 

So Greg's wife has been reading the divorce stuff for 10 years?
I am not buying it. Read this forum- how is it better?
 
 

[BillyB]

So Greg's wife has been reading the divorce stuff for 10 years?

 
Probably not and that is another good reason why we shouldn't blame Greg's ex transformation from good to worse on women's forums.
 
 

Read this forum- how is it better?

 
I don't read women's forums....very much so it's hard to compare. Getting good stuff out of any forum is an individual choice. A guy can come here and educate himself on a variety of subjects, get tips for self improvement, and read positive things about happy couples. A guy can also come here and enjoy the attacks from one member to another, enjoy reading about people's misery, and laugh at those getting scammed.
 
 
What kind of good and bad reading do you find at women's forums Doll?