Divorce finally final after 3 years and 3 different lawyers for her.

[tfcrew]

That's a lie.

It just takes one person to say 'I quit.'  So much for death do you part or forsaking [all] others.

Agreed. Any marriage is not a 50/50 thing. It takes 100% from both.

[tfcrew]

I know this is far from a scientific poll but does anyone keep track of the divorce rate between the membership and RW?

 

More like a crap shoot in any country.
Few choose to report their loses.

[lonedrake]

Greg,

 I appreciate you telling about your divorce. It takes much more courage to speak about a failure than success.

 I don't buy into the claims that each person is 50% responsible for a failed relationship. I believe it takes two to make it work.....but only one to screw screw it up. In any failed relationship both parties are usually at fault to varying degrees....but not always.

[Doll]

 
   
 
I don't read women's forums.... .
 
 
 

"Не читал, но скажу"

[Doll]

 
   
 
I don't read women's forums....very much so it's hard to compare. Getting good stuff out of any forum is an individual choice. A guy can come here and educate himself on a variety of subjects, get tips for self improvement, and read positive things about happy couples. A guy can also come here and enjoy the attacks from one member to another, enjoy reading about people's misery, and laugh at those getting scammed.
 
 
What kind of good and bad reading do you find at women's forums Doll?

Same things as you've mentioned above.I mean EXACTLY same.

[Ade]

My apologies Ade, I swear on the eyes of my children that I honestly thought you were a female. I have seldom read what you have posted so many times here. I need to do better I guess. Without taking the time to do so, did you ever marry your Russian girl. Again I'm sorry for not realizing you were a guy.

You have a selective memory then; http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=13637


Bit like your memory about your marriage I'm guessing.


More than 2 years on I can still say the same about my marriage as I did back then in that thread. With a 9 month old sitting at home, I'm amazed you ever had the time to post on forums when you had 2 kids and very long days at work (as you said once). Perhaps you should have spent more time helping your wife with them instead of complaining on the net that she should be grateful to you for just being married to her?

[Doll]

Oh! (Thank you Ade)))))) He wanted his FSU wife "to be thankful,grateful and humble"!
I don't think it ever works with FSU women as well as "figuring out what's going on" in their minds.
Hear me, YB?

[GregfromGa]

Ade I think if you do the math you'll see you post a lot more than me but that's not the point. The point is you are just a douchebag and nothing you say seems to have much relevance therefore prompting me to not remember anything you've ever had to say but thank you for scouring over my old post and finding what? I'm self employed for the most part. I was away from home a few times. I'm happy you have all this figured out. Being thankful,grateful and humble are not attributes I set out to find but they are not bad ones to have Doll. If and when the wheels ever come off your wagon Ade I expect you to come here and elaborate. Little guys with big opinions are welcome here.

[TomT]

Those who don't know Greg are confused about his usage of "thankful, grateful" and "humble." It doesn't mean that he expected his wife to be his slave and that she wanted her to treat him like her massah. He was referring to normal appreciation and politeness, as opposed to treating people, including him, like they are worthless shit.

[Ade]

Those who don't know Greg are confused about his usage of "thankful, grateful" and "humble." It doesn't mean that he expected his wife to be his slave and that she wanted her to treat him like her massah. He was referring to normal appreciation and politeness, as opposed to treating people, including him, like they are worthless shit.

Maybe he is and just maybe his wife knew him better than you Tom?

[Ade]

Little guys with big opinions are welcome here.

Why yes you are.

[Gator]

Dude, you've been sounding like a silly old fart for years, even before that hit on the head made you seem even more addled.

I can not deny the "old" part.  Regarding the "silly" part, I consider the source.  You are humorless, you harbor grudges, and you do not have much faith in your fellow man, so almost everything in life is "silly" to you, even a spiritual belief in some concept of a God.
 
Please note that when I stated you sound like a gossiping babushka, I quoted your exact words that were more rumor and distortion than fact, and certainly unnecessary.

[Gator]

Greg,
 
From being a divorced father, I have some words of advice.  I am sure you already know this, so this is just a reminder:
 
1.  For the benefit of your children, never, never, never say anything bad to them about their mother regardless of what she did.  This is near the top of the list of "How to Help your Children Cope" just after reassuring your kids everyday that you love them, attending to their needs in a positive way, and having fun with them.  Your children want to love both you and their mama; they do not want to take sides.
 
2.  Obviously you and your wife did not communicate well.   You now have the opportunity to teach your children the skill of open communication.  They will love it.  It starts by building and keeping trust. 
 
3.   Eat apple pie and ice cream for breakfast (there are many websites about helping children of divorce, especially young children)

[TomT]

Maybe he is and just maybe his wife knew him better than you Tom?

The issue at hand is whether or not I know them both better than you do.

[Gator]

The issue at hand is whether or not I know them both better than you do.

Have either of you met them?  I did and I admit that I don't know anything other than what Greg tells us.  And what he tells us seems plausible. 
 
The point is that Greg is a long time member of RWD.  His story is not the typical MOBer.  He met his wife serendipitously at a train station.  It sounded like destiny.  They have two children.

Alas, the marriage failed.   Greg was gracious in returning to RWD and informing us of the divorce.  Greg is looking forward to being a father and to being single. 
 
He described some interaction that may or may not happen with a FSUW.  I believe that some MIL could have a strong influence.  Thank goodness my MIL is as sweet as wild raspberries.

[TomT]

Have either of you met them?

Yep.

[Gator]

Yep.

Ah ha.  Your point thus carries credence.
 
I trust your meeting with them was as pleasant as mine.
 
Greg is a gentleman.  I was impressed upon learning of his many community activities, one of which brought him to Tampa where a young African man he knew from his community was competing in a marathon and needed support. 
 
 

[TomT]

Yes, our meeting was very pleasant also. Greg is sociable and goes out of his way to help others.

[Boethius]

I believe Ade's point was that there are two sides to every story, and there are.  I suspect some of this conclusion is attributable to the young age of Greg's wife.   She hadn't experienced much of life before marrying and people change the most in the years she married, had children, and initiated a divorce.

He described some interaction that may or may not happen with a FSUW. 

With two very young children, that would be an incredibly stupid move.   Almost as stupid as getting knocked up by some guy who spanks his stepchildren.

[Ade]

Have either of you met them?

Have either of you lived with him?

[TomT]

Have either of you lived with him?

I'm just a character witness; I'm not corroborating an alibi.

[Gator]

I believe Ade's point was that there are two sides to every story, and there are. 

There are two sides?!  Who would have thought!   In your defense of Ade you choose something that all of us know.   Even Greg acknowledged such.   
 
Culpability does not matter because the marriage has been dissolved.   It is a time to look forward, yet Ade continued to paint Greg black with unsolicited gossip about the past.   And Ade never met Mr. and Mrs. Greg.    Ade went so far as to require a mod to redact something unsavory or aggressive from his post.  You even mentioned that speculating is not productive. 
 

I suspect some of this conclusion is attributable to the young age of Greg's wife.   She hadn't experienced much of life before marrying and people change the most in the years she married, had children, and initiated a divorce.

How did she change?  She stayed in the same small town (thank goodness so Greg can be with his children).  She jumped into marriage with another man, a man who sounds like a step down from Greg.  And she got pregnant [or in your excellent words, "...getting knocked up by some guy who spanks his stepchildren."    Do you call that change?  She required three different attorneys, and we can surmise the reason for that.   
 
 
I believe part of your post is missing as the following is unclear. 
 

He described some interaction that may or may not happen with a FSUW.

With two very young children, that would be an incredibly stupid move.   Almost as stupid as getting knocked up by some guy who spanks his stepchildren.

 
The interaction I referred to was a FSUW being dominated by her mama, adhering to health superstitions that have no scientific basis, and not conversing with the children in English even when the father is present.
 
I did find your comment a good one, when you wrote "Almost as stupid as getting knocked up by some guy who spanks his stepchildren."  yep, a good one

[Boethius]

How did she change?  She stayed in the same small town (thank goodness so Greg can be with his children).  She jumped into marriage with another man, a man who sounds like a step down from Greg.  And she got pregnant [or in your excellent words, "...getting knocked up by some guy who spanks his stepchildren."    Do you call that change?  She required three different attorneys, and we can surmise the reason for that.   

I didn't post she changed.  I posted most people change most dramatically during the years (early twenties) Greg was married to his ex.   Obviously, something changed to cause a divorce with two very young children.

I assume she remains in that town because of custody arrangements?   

I make no comment on whether the man the ex married is a step down. 

I disagree that we can hazard a guess as to why she changed attorneys.  There are many reasons that can occur.  Typically, it is because the attorney tells the client something he/she doesn't want to hear/believe.  Were I to hazard a guess, I would guess the ex's disputes with her lawyers were primarily related to custody, and the difference between a Ukrainian mentality on who children "belong" to, and American mentality.

[JayH]

Boe-- do you think you could attribute the quotes when you include? You have been asked previously and you are back to old bad habits!!  You are a serial offender  but not the only one who does it.

[Boethius]

I rarely quote from a post immediately preceding mine.  I figure most readers are smart enough to figure out I'm responding to the post just above mine.  If a post is further back, I do add attribution.