Saved by Mila

[YoungBuck]

Thoughts:

I think it's kinda cool being 'Moderated'. I feel like Matrix's Neo when he was fired upon and he did that backside 'Limbo-Rock' move in slow motion as 3 bullets slowly wheezes on by. I make a post and there's this cool delayed reaction on the thread. You can see I made a post, but you really can't find it when you click on it - but then - bwalla! There it is...


Anyway, yes...topic subject. Can anyone of you really blame Fat Yuri when he sends a US stooge a pretty picture of a gorgeous woman attached to an email saying she's in love with him and she must see him ASAP. That she would love nothing more than to be able to put her arms around him and be his sex slave and chef for life if only she isn't short that $800.00 to buy her ticket so she can arrive to him soon?

There's a reason why the Fat Yuris and Grissly Sergeis are making a fairly decent living doing this for years. Care to guess what that reason is?


Bottom line is, I couldn't care less if some/many of you don't care much about my accounting of reality. Many of you can deny what is plainly obvious but you can't deny that reality here at home, or any city in FSU, or even pictures in virtual pages of any agency/dating sites you like. The reality is the majority of the men in the MOB is NOT very well represented. The majority of the MOB men are NOT what one can call 'society's cream of the crop. That's a fact. Argue all what you want, but that is what *I* am saying.

Now, I'm not saying these guys are a bunch of murderers, rapists or child molesters (although that was also true to some degree before IMBRA kicked in), but nope, that's not what I'm saying...

What I am saying is many of these men do not have an ounce of social awareness, knowledge, instinct, etc..to be in a position to be well 'equip' to handle dating at home, much less dating abroad like the FSU.

What I am saying is, many of these men are in their 60s or even 70s looking for women in their 30s or 40s, then getting lost in that fog about what reality will be like for them at 'home'.

What I am saying is, many of these men are less than attentive to their physical appearance yet would love to be accompanied by women with looks that rivals those at home who they otherwise can't get attention from.

So what is the common denominator with these men when they venture forth in their respective journey?

MONEY. GIFTS. ROMANTIC VACATIONS, etc..

These are the universal tools most, if not all, of these men use and heavily rely upon. That's the root of all the evils of the MOB when it bear it's horns and fangs. That's where silly expectations begin or wither away.

I am confident none of you can deny this to be true. That's the platform every single facet of the MOB is based on, so don't kid yourselves. It is very little wonder why the MOB is home to the most economically-challenged regions in our globe.

The MOB is not targeting these regions because the women are family-oriented, mature for their ages, educated, cultured, loves to cook, ready to sacrifice everything they've ever know just to be with you. Don't buy into these hype. Women are women. Their differences lie in their individuality not in their biology. They react to the same stimuli and they exercise the same dispositions when dealing with social interactions.

So when all is said and done, you have two choices, you can either deny or accept reality for what it truly is. You will be at your weakest when you deny things for what they are. But be at your strength when you are realistically informed.


Do not abandon your wits and instinct. Do not chalk up bad behavior to cultural differences. If you can't relate to women at home, things will not be any different anywhere else.

I think you paint everyone here when the " ugly, loser mob brush stroke".  most men here are the cream of the crop.

I have a phd, run a 630 mile, make good money,  etc.  but my parents raised me for a different world. I'm just not charming or particularly good looking but when you qualify men,  in terms of intelligence, manners, earning potential,  etc. I should be a catch but I'm obviously not one or else I wouldn't be single. I understand women like confidence,  aloofness, guys who play the field,  but I think  men who are successful through hard work,  are not type that women like. we are boring and predictable. listening to my mother and grandmother,  aunts,  I  think what they respect  is different than what women want now.

and no, the women in my family have degrees in science, etc. they value intelligence above all, can we say the same now?

This is a unique corner of the internet,  so I hang around. but it isn't the loser corner of the internet.

[Boethius]

I think you paint everyone here when the " ugly, loser mob brush stroke".  most men here are the cream of the crop.

You don't know that.  No one can.

I have a phd, run a 630 mile, make good money,  etc.  but my parents raised me for a different world. I'm just not charming or particularly good looking but when you qualify men,  in terms of intelligence, manners, earning potential,  etc. I should be a catch but I'm obviously not one or else I wouldn't be single. I understand women like confidence,  aloofness, guys who play the field,  but I think  men who are successful through hard work,  are not type that women like. we are boring and predictable. listening to my mother and grandmother,  aunts,  I  think what they respect  is different than what women want now.

Looks get you in the door, but that is all.  Go to a top salon in your city for a good haircut.  Hire an image consultant.  Listen to her advice.  It will make a difference and may boost your confidence.

All women like confidence, because women want to feel secure.  They will not, on some level, feel secure with a man who does not project confidence.  You don't actually have to be confident, but you do have to project it.  As for what women value, different women value different things.  That does not change over time or cultures. 

and no, the women in my family have degrees in science, etc. they value intelligence above all, can we say the same now?

Yes.  It sounds as if you have been fishing in the wrong ponds.

[Patagonie]

I think you paint everyone here when the " ugly, loser mob brush stroke".  most men here are the cream of the crop.

I have a phd, run a 630 mile, make good money,  etc.  but my parents raised me for a different world. I'm just not charming or particularly good looking but when you qualify men,  in terms of intelligence, manners, earning potential,  etc. I should be a catch but I'm obviously not one or else I wouldn't be single. I understand women like confidence,  aloofness, guys who play the field,  but I think  men who are successful through hard work,  are not type that women like. we are boring and predictable. listening to my mother and grandmother,  aunts,  I  think what they respect  is different than what women want now.

and no, the women in my family have degrees in science, etc. they value intelligence above all, can we say the same now?

This is a unique corner of the internet,  so I hang around. but it isn't the loser corner of the internet.

I think you made the point.
"we are boring and predictable. listening to my mother and grandmother,  aunts,  I  think what they respect  is different than what women want now."

Make effort on how you look.
Stop to listen Mum and all chicks around you, it is why you are boring as men for women who want a mate.
Try to find some guys who have hitten hundreds of women, they are the ones who know what women like, what is not boring for them.
Combine with your natural qualities of a good challenger, the world will become yours....

[steveboy]

Not all women are interested in what you earn! And having a good income is not necessary a good catch for any women either! Flaunting it about that you have a good income and are a "Good catch for any women" Is also no way to catch a women!
There are plenty of young wealthy guys in Russia for women to get a good catch, they certainly do not need to marry a foreign guy just for money, if that is all they seek.
I have a friend who worked in a marriage agency and between her and the translator when a guy came to meet a women and his first point of conversation was about "I have this" "I have that" " you will want for nothing" " I can make your dreams come true" they just laughed between themselves and said "Who is this stupid monkey" If only the guy new what else they were saying about him in Russian:)

[steveboy]

Most of us don't buy into the concept of "fashion", which is generally someone trying to sell you something you don't need by creating a "sense" that it is needed.  Much like the worthless diamonds' falsely inflated values, only not quite as detrimental to the indigenous, sometimes armless population.


I actually prefer a woman dressed in jeans and flats.  High heels and short skirts never thrilled me much.  I won't close my eyes, mind you, but when I see some of the stuff people wear... I think to myself "there's a sucker"...


And don't even let me get started on those god awful hair styles of "fashion".. 






True story though-- once I was sitting at my desk with M in another room. I saw a piece of lint on the side of my chair so just for the fun of it, I picked it up and let it drop on my sweater.  The moment the lint touched the sweater, from two rooms away, I hear.. "Babe, you look like a homeless!!"   Aside from the minor trouble understanding the difference between some nouns and adjectives, that radar is some seriously powerful stuff...

I didn't mean fashion as in the sense you are speaking about. I mean turning up in Russia in a Stalin era suit or some thing out of the arch, have you seen what some of those hillbillies wear!! First impressions count so Im sure if a women meets you at the airport and thinks "What the f**** he wearing! looks like my grandfather" Its not going to help. Of course a women doesn't marry you for what you wear. Im just pointing a fact out

[steveboy]

 

[steveboy]

 

[Gator]

I should be a catch but I'm obviously not one or else I wouldn't be single.

Patience, young man!  Don't push it.  And do not settle for any woman who is not your equal intellectually. 
 
After years of being single, I finally met the woman who would be my partner, the mother of my children, and a fun companion.  She was gorgeous.  More important, she had the grey matter to be her class valedictorian.  She had played around for 10 years, dating everything from Cy Young winners to Supreme Court attorneys, yet when she decided it was time to settle down, she chose me.
 
She gave me much, in particular my two sons.

It can happen.  Be patient, yet do not be idealistic. 

[Gator]

Boethius, you gave YoungBuck some excellent advice.  Independent of the advice, this statement floored me. 
 

From YoungBuck: 

   I think you paint everyone here when the " ugly, loser mob brush stroke".  most men here are the cream of the crop.     

You don't know that.  No one can.

 

 
YoungBuck is an intelligent person.  He made the absurd "cream of the crop" statement to counter the equally absurd "ugly, loser mob brush stroke."     
 
Please file away the following:   You challenged his "cream of the crop" comment yet have never challenged the "ugly, loser mob brush stroke,"   thereby revealing your sentiments.
 
Because I am on moderated status, I wonder if this post will be allowed.

[Gator]

jone,
 
In thinking about this more, there is one parameter where I measured well above the average man.  It is an important measure.  Namely, I had time to travel because I am retired.  Thus, I did not need to fast track a relationship.
 
I consider fast tracking of marriage to be risky, especially considering the cultural, language and age barriers to understanding each other.   However, that is the nature of the endeavor for most AM.    I never would recommend it, yet most men must do it, as they sort through limerance vs. love, etc. 
 
In the fast track case, success will indeed demand an innate understanding of  women, something that most men perhaps lack.    Also important are sheer luck, a lot of hard work, and a woman who enters the relationship in good faith. 
 
So there, I agree with you but not for the narrow area we discussed earlier.  Friends?
 
 

[YoungBuck]

Not all women are interested in what you earn! And having a good income is not necessary a good catch for any women either! Flaunting it about that you have a good income and are a "Good catch for any women" Is also no way to catch a women!
There are plenty of young wealthy guys in Russia for women to get a good catch, they certainly do not need to marry a foreign guy just for money, if that is all they seek.
I have a friend who worked in a marriage agency and between her and the translator when a guy came to meet a women and his first point of conversation was about "I have this" "I have that" " you will want for nothing" " I can make your dreams come true" they just laughed between themselves and said "Who is this stupid monkey" If only the guy new what else they were saying about him in Russian:)

 Steve,  no one here seems so dumb to mention money considering the abuse scammers deal.

also,  there is always someone richer,  smarter,  better  looking,  etc. that still doesn't take away the fact that in a room full of guys the combination of smarts,  looks,  wealth,  upbringing,  etc.  should make you the catch. there's only one Stephen hawking, one  bill gates,  and billions of women...

 take for instance,  my single male friends:  junior faculty at ivy league schools,  make 100k+,  athletic and good people.  they are interesting,  hobbies,  travel,  cultured,  etc.  but no wife/ girlfriend.

now my single female friends, a few are single mothers, the father we don't even know,  another set are actively dating the bad boys from town,  and all  working  predictable,  boring  jobs in government or  teaching.  yet they don't date guys like my single friends because they are boring.

I swear they are boring! I don't even talk to my single female friends anymore. I think they are losers that squandered a world class education. when the  elite female crop emulate the bottom of the barrel,  then I know the pickings are slim.

[CanadaMan]

Stop to listen Mum and all chicks around you, it is why you are boring as men for women who want a mate.
Try to find some guys who have hitten hundreds of women, they are the ones who know what women like, what is not boring for them.

You mean the guys who "f_ck her hard by all possible entrances."?   

[YoungBuck]

You mean the guys who "f_ck her hard by all possible entrances."?   

they are not saints, but they didn't sleep around either. 1960s  Mexico is not  like 2010 s  western Europe or US.

 the guys who  fuck a lot  that I know,  are usually one track mind,  they only pursue sex and are pretty lame.  they have a devil may  care attitude, have crappy jobs  with no money but are very tall and model looking. they think they are sweet talkers,  but they say the stupidest  things and women don't care because they look like Ryan gosling.

[Muzh]

I think you paint everyone here when the " ugly, loser mob brush stroke".  most men here are the cream of the crop.

I have a phd, run a 630 mile, make good money,  etc.  but my parents raised me for a different world. I'm just not charming or particularly good looking but when you qualify men,  in terms of intelligence, manners, earning potential,  etc. I should be a catch but I'm obviously not one or else I wouldn't be single. I understand women like confidence,  aloofness, guys who play the field,  but I think  men who are successful through hard work,  are not type that women like. we are boring and predictable. listening to my mother and grandmother,  aunts,  I  think what they respect  is different than what women want now.

and no, the women in my family have degrees in science, etc. they value intelligence above all, can we say the same now?

This is a unique corner of the internet,  so I hang around. but it isn't the loser corner of the internet.

YB, I'll give you the best unsolicited advice you'll ever get.
 
Forget the former Soyuz for the time being. Try to develop your social manners here first. You say you have the financial means to socialize. DO IT!!! (As an example) Join a Tae Kwon Do school, they'll teach you assertiveness. Maybe you'll make some friends there because they are in the same boat.
 
The former Soyuz is NOT the solution to your social problems. Well, not problems. Let's call it shortcomings. Shyness or lack of confidence is not a sin nor something to be ashamed off. It is very changable. It just take a little effort and believe in yourself. (I'm serious about the Karate stuff.)
 
Finding a RW in the former Soyuz is not going to change the way you are.
 
Good Luck

[Gator]

 take for instance,  my single male friends:  junior faculty at ivy league schools,  make 100k+,  athletic and good people.  they are interesting,  hobbies,  travel,  cultured,  etc.  but no wife/ girlfriend.

So far, so good.

now my single female friends, a few are single mothers, the father we don't even know,  another set are actively dating the bad boys from town,  and all  working  predictable,  boring  jobs in government or
 teaching.  yet they don't date guys like my single friends because they are boring.

How did you become friends with such unserious women?  In reading further, it seems that you met them while at your university.  You became a PhD, and they became impregnated, father unknown.   You are wrong in thinking these women are the "elite female crop."       
 

Every university has a group of smart, serious women.  Ask yourself why you did not befriend them.  Was it because they were not physically attractive, or because they found you boring, or God Forbid you are the example of someone who lacks social skills?     
 
Listen to Muzh about socializing.  Listen to Boethius about women being attracted to confident women.    Others here have given you constructive advice.  Remake yourself, or otherwise some here will use you as a poster child for the social rejects chasing RW.    Also, consider your target women.  Focus on their inner qualities.  If you are nerdy, fine!  But date nerdy women.
 
I am not trying to ridicule you; however, something does not add up.  If you are seeking a tall, fine looking RW to compensate for your insecurities, be very careful.  A RW will not fix your problem.  Worse, you may find such a woman and have an even bigger problem of a different nature.
 

[Boethius]

Boethius, you gave YoungBuck some excellent advice.  Independent of the advice, this statement floored me. 
 

You don't know that.  No one can.
 
 

 
YoungBuck is an intelligent person.  He made the absurd "cream of the crop" statement to counter the equally absurd "ugly, loser mob brush stroke."     
 
Please file away the following:   You challenged his "cream of the crop" comment yet have never challenged the "ugly, loser mob brush stroke,"   thereby revealing your sentiments.
 
Because I am on moderated status, I wonder if this post will be allowed.

When I come to the conclusion that I require aid in determining what I should post, I will consider PM'g you.  Otherwise, please cease and desist in advising me how I should express my thoughts, or what, in particular, I should respond to.  However, I thank you for your concern.

[LAman]

I think you paint everyone here when the " ugly, loser mob brush stroke".  most men here are the cream of the crop.

I have a phd, run a 630 mile, make good money,  etc.  but my parents raised me for a different world. I'm just not charming or particularly good looking but when you qualify men,  in terms of intelligence, manners, earning potential,  etc. I should be a catch but I'm obviously not one or else I wouldn't be single. I understand women like confidence,  aloofness, guys who play the field,  but I think  men who are successful through hard work,  are not type that women like. we are boring and predictable. listening to my mother and grandmother,  aunts,  I  think what they respect  is different than what women want now.

and no, the women in my family have degrees in science, etc. they value intelligence above all, can we say the same now?

This is a unique corner of the internet,  so I hang around. but it isn't the loser corner of the internet.

YB, you seem to be hung up on tangibles things.....it is the untangibles that are may be more important. You come across as someone who likes to talk about themselves and your accomplishments which is great but is boring to others. You have no *game* , only to speak on the 'intelligence' level. Learn to just sit back and listen, make people talk about themselves to you. Find something you like to do and be passionate about it. ex.-I did that with scuba diving ( lots of PYT's)   Make YOURSELF interesting......
BTW, at ~30ish, a 6:30 mile is slow......

[Gator]

Otherwise, please cease and desist in advising me how I should express my thoughts, or what, in particular, I should respond to.

My my!   I was merely pointing out an inconsistency.  I did not advise you as to what you should post.  If you want to be inconsistent, that is your prerogative. 

[Daveman]

Steve,  no one here seems so dumb to mention money considering the abuse scammers deal.

also,  there is always someone richer,  smarter,  better  looking,  etc. that still doesn't take away the fact that in a room full of guys the combination of smarts,  looks,  wealth,  upbringing,  etc.  should make you the catch. there's only one Stephen hawking, one  bill gates,  and billions of women...

 take for instance,  my single male friends:  junior faculty at ivy league schools,  make 100k+,  athletic and good people.  they are interesting,  hobbies,  travel,  cultured,  etc.  but no wife/ girlfriend.

now my single female friends, a few are single mothers, the father we don't even know,  another set are actively dating the bad boys from town,  and all  working  predictable,  boring  jobs in government or  teaching.  yet they don't date guys like my single friends because they are boring.

I swear they are boring! I don't even talk to my single female friends anymore. I think they are losers that squandered a world class education. when the  elite female crop emulate the bottom of the barrel,  then I know the pickings are slim.

YB, it's not nearly as complicated as it seems.  Those guys, and perhaps some here, don't understand a simple fact - attraction is a triggered response.  That has nothing to do with how much you make or your education level.  It's a behavioral science.  What women say they want and that to which they are actually attracted are a little different.  It's great when both of those reside in the same package.

[Misha]

Look for a live wire  RW with the customary amount of RW directness.  You will know the score.     

I agree that it is not so hard. Dealing with Russians is much easier IMHO than Anglo-Canadians. Both Russian men and women (with a few exceptions) tend to be much more up front with their thoughts and feelings. A woman who is interested in a man will rarely play coy in my experience and will make it clear what her feelings are, if only because she will worry that another woman will do so first  The problem is not that men can't gauge Russian women, rather they delude themselves when their intuition is perfectly telling what they should know. Hence the endless questions "is it cultural" which is shorthand for "I know this is bad behaviour, but I won't admit it, so I will grasp as straws to justify it because I really, really want to believe."

[Daveman]

I agree that it is not so hard. Dealing with Russians is much easier IMHO than Anglo-Canadians. Both Russian men and women (with a few exceptions) tend to be much more up front with their thoughts and feelings. A woman who is interested in a man will rarely play coy in my experience and will make it clear what her feelings are, if only because she will worry that another woman will do so first  The problem is not that men can't gauge Russian women, rather they delude themselves when their intuition is perfectly telling what they should know. Hence the endless questions "is it cultural" which is shorthand for "I know this is bad behaviour, but I won't admit it, so I will grasp as straws to justify it because I really, really want to believe."

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeYahtzee!!!

[Faux Pas]

YB
I would advise to not be so quick to discount GQ's broad brush stroke. There may be more truth to it personally to you, than you want to admit. You are beginning to reveal yourself something of a social leper. These too, are what he was describing.

Listen to Muzh's excellent advice. You might even benefit from one of those "life coaches" I'm hearing about that is the rave in Californicate these days. You tend to think in terms of "me" (nerds) and "them" (bad boys) as if it's some kind of competitive team sport. Trust me here, nothing could be further from the truth. There are many from both teams that attract the women and many from both that repel the women. You've clearly put yourself in the former.

You have everything it takes to attract women except, a clue. I'll give you a hint, it isn't your PHD, not what your mother and aunts are attracted to, and has nothing to do with your savings and investments or your house/car. It is charm, it is confidence and it is charisma none of which you project here. But, the good news is, you do have them all, as undeveloped as they may be.

You let yourself escape from social environs to please those women in your life (mothers, grannies, aunts) with education. That is only partly good. There is much you have missed. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a Georgia Tech grad.

[Daveman]

If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a Georgia Tech grad.

  

[jone]

I had a friend in college who absolutely had an inferiority complex.  He did all things to make up for that complex.  He got an advanced degree, advanced himself in his chosen career and finally, made himself a good sum of money.  To this day he carries a chip on his shoulder.  And even though we befriended him, he could never get beyond the fact that he was not that tall and not what some women would call attractive.

He would be prime material for some unattached woman to grab on to, except for his attitude.  We all went on to marry and have children.  He is still stuck in his college years, wondering why he didn't get the sorority girl or homecoming queen. 

Now I'm not saying that there is a parallel here, but your posts belie your online name, YoungBuck.  I plead with you not to become this guy, who, to this day, has all the toys and none of the joys.

Half of the success most men have with women is simply their attitude.  If one were to talk to a woman (or a man) and was judging a future partner, it would not be based on the 'Game' that one has - although that can play in to future dates - but the attitude one has towards life.  Those with the glass half full will live their lives with a smile on their faces.  Those that think the glass is half empty will always think life is dealing them low cards.

Moreover, it carries on in to marriages.  I have met some absolutely stunning women on my search for an FSU bride.  But my first litmus test is whether she will be a happy woman 10, 20 years down the road.  That comes with kindness and wisdom. 

Your personality that you have revealed online makes me think that you are one who likes to accomplish things.  You seem to be goal oriented.  Maybe it is time to start living for the moment and enjoying the people around you before you worry about any objectives.

I, personally, have a great love of laughter.  It is one of the first things I tell a woman when I meet her (as if she can't discern it for herself).  Some FSUW think this somewhat odd or smarmy.  But it is who I am and want them to know that I am not laughing at them but simply enjoying life.

If I could talk to my friend from college, I would simply tell him to worry less and laugh more.

[jone]

What in the hell is Californicate? 

Are you trying to tell us that we fornicate out here? 

Well, if you are, I resemble that remark.

At least all the sheep and cows here in Kalifornia aren't nervous like they are in OkkieVille.