Exploitation: Real, imagined, or deliberately disingenuous?

[calmissile]

Seems to me that FatherTime started this exchange and was soon supported by you, and I'm just responding to the peer pressure. So I guess that will be me, you, FT and, waddling up the rear as usual, Doug for that back handed insult about not being a decent human being which is hilarious given what we know about him.


Of course, there could always be some inconsistent moderation in the works.

Yes, somehow the [generic name] always find someone else to blame for their behavior!
The moderators are doing their best to clean up the acts, and you and a couple others are resisting the changes.  I would bet that the majority of the members support the recent changes.

[Ade]

Yes, somehow the misfits always find someone else to blame for their behavior!
The moderators are doing their best to clean up the acts, and you and a couple others are resisting the changes.  I would bet that the majority of the members support the recent changes.

Yes, but the majority seem to think nothing of going to near 3rd world countries in order to exploit the conditions there. So, forgive me for not holding their opinion in such high regard.

[calmissile]

MissA,
Now that I have better understood your position and discovered that we are not that far apart, I am curious about what your current plans are.  Without giving us a lot of personal detail, are you presently engaged?  To what nationality?  Does your current plans with your SO result in what you feel is best for your children?  Will you live in the UK?

[southernX]

Yes, but the majority seem to think nothing of going to near 3rd world countries in order to exploit the conditions there. So, forgive me for not holding their opinion in such high regard.

and how exactly are you  so different ade ?  or do you count yourself in the majority 


SX

[calmissile]

Yes, but the majority seem to think nothing of going to near 3rd world countries in order to exploit the conditions there. So, forgive me for not holding their opinion in such high regard.

Somehow, I think you lost that argument.  As you already are aware, my wife was a successful businesswoman, property owner of multiple properties in Ukraine, very well educated and credentialed, and was not exploited by me or anyone else.

Having several personal friends and newleyweds that have UA wives, I can tell you that to the best of my knowledge, none of the women were exploited.  In fact most if not all of them were financially successful in UA before they immigrated.

You are trying to lump a destitute, village gal taken advantage by a very few men into your vision that men in general are exploiting FSUW.   Get over it!   It's a very small minority.

[Ade]

and how exactly are you  so different ade ?  or do you count yourself in the majority 


SX

I am, quite frankly, different to a degree it's difficult to put into words. But I'll try; I do not, would not, and never did, exploit the conditions in the FSU. I never went hunting for a wife in the FSU in the MOB or otherwise. And I definitely never looked for women as many here do and have done, that were obviously so desperate as to be willing to significantly lower their standards in men in order to secure a better life for themselves and their kids.

[Ade]

Somehow, I think you lost that argument.  As you already are aware, my wife was a successful businesswoman, property owner of multiple properties in Ukraine, very well educated and credentialed, and was not exploited by me or anyone else.

Having several personal friends and newleyweds that have UA wives, I can tell you that to the best of my knowledge, none of the women were exploited.  In fact most if not all of them were financially successful in UA before they immigrated.

You are trying to lump a destitute, village gal taken advantage by a very few men into your vision that men in general are exploiting FSUW.   Get over it!   It's a very small minority.

Of course Doug, whatever you say. That's about as best I can do without infringing on the TOS. But you continue to think what you will. As I said earlier, everyone gets what they bargained for sooner or later.   

[Slumba]

I am, quite frankly, different to a degree it's difficult to put into words. But I'll try; I do not, would not, and never did, exploit the conditions in the FSU. I never went hunting for a wife in the FSU in the MOB or otherwise. And I definitely never looked for women as many here do and have done, that were obviously so desperate as to be willing to significantly lower their standards in men in order to secure a better life for themselves and their kids.

Yeah, "It just happened! I wasn't even thinking about women, in fact, I was questioning if I shouldn't become a Buddhist monk!" 

You are not the first one on this or other forums to use this line of defense in excusing yourself from being a "typical MOBer"...

[calmissile]

Of course Doug, whatever you say. That's about as best I can do without infringing on the TOS. But you continue to think what you will. As I said earlier, everyone gets what they bargained for sooner or later. 

True, and most of us happily married men are already reaping the benefits of our 'bargains' and our happily married wives feel the same way.

Time for some more borscht and blini.     

[LiveFromUkraine]

Yeah, "It just happened! I wasn't even thinking about women, in fact, I was questioning if I shouldn't become a Buddhist monk!" 

You are not the first one on this or other forums to use this line of defense in excusing yourself from being a "typical MOBer"...

I do wonder why your world is so small you think everyone is doing the same thing as you.  I never met my ex wife through agencies or online dating sites.   Neither of us were looking for someone in a romantic way.  I understand it is hard to fathom from your perspective but it does happen. 

[Muzh]

Muzh,

Many men realize they are playing Russian roulette with 2-3 shells in the chamber.  FYI they probably care less about  the sanctimonious opinion of an Internet board know-it-all.   So why cringe!   You should cringe about people who move their golf ball when no one is looking.

Interesting choice of words there Gator.
 
Based on what's been happening lately, I'm afraid you may be placed on moderated status for what you just called me.
 
However, it don't bother me a bit so you're cool. 
 
I may be the next to bite the dust.
 
See, some would say that, having been married for so long to a woman from Ukraine and having so many trips under my belt, dealt with their local politics and help in some drafting before my friend's untimely death, I'd be considered an asset to newbies.
 
Now I understand that I'm a know-it-all and looked at with disdain. And it seems that is enough reason to put the muzzle.
 
Sad day.

[Muzh]

We hear you loud and clear Muzh.


But after all was said and done, despite you having no inclination of chasing a woman far away, and despite your local graduate school and government complex in Albany’s cache of young single women, you did in the end resort to traveling to Ukraine to find a desirable partner.

The time it takes to ‘go out cruising’ locally is actually far less than the time it takes to sit at a computer, research, find a partner, travel to Ukraine, date, wash, rinse, date, wash, rinse, repeat etc.

 As Konfushus and Jumper said, this is really not a good explanation as to why you resorted to searching abroad.

Oh boy. 
 
I did NOT end up traveling to Ukraine to find a partner. I just happened to find a person I loved talking to and she happened to be thousands of miles away. We discussed a life together and we agreed we could do that. THEN I traveled to Ukraine to be with her in person.
 
I would never dream of rounding up 10 or 15 young virgins in a dilapidated country and see who would be the lucky one. I would never pay a third party to hook me with a babe.
 
If I travel to an exotic and/or dilapidated country to have sex, I would not call it wife-hunting. That would be a sex trip.
 
Is that understandable?
 
I will refrain from explaining AGAIN why I was surfing the net instead of cruising. Please read.

[Muzh]

They do have baby-sitters in New York after all.

Okay, okay, I give up.
 
Yes you are right. Please tell me how I should live my life.
 
God knows it serves me right for being a know-it-all.
 
Anything else I should have done?

[TomT]

All I've seen so far is a bunch of old men get pissed off at two women for stating their opinions. What would you call that?

The thread reads like a validation palooza to me.

[Muzh]

Yeah, "It just happened! I wasn't even thinking about women, in fact, I was questioning if I shouldn't become a Buddhist monk!" 

You are not the first one on this or other forums to use this line of defense in excusing yourself from being a "typical MOBer"...

Okay Slumba, et al.
 
Let's hear your definition of a MOBer.
 
This should be good.

[Daveman]

Now I understand that I'm a know-it-all and looked at with disdain. And it seems that is enough reason to put the muzzle.
 
Sad day.

Not even close.  I'm sure you realize that, Muzh.  However, I seriously doubt you would wander around the forum whining about the moderator actions. 

[Muzh]

Not even close.  I'm sure you realize that, Muzh.  However, I seriously doubt you would wander around the forum whining about the moderator actions.

Actually Dave, I am not wandering about whining about the moderators.
 
I mentioned this to you earlier and it seems you are at war with a number of posters here and not necessarily moderating.

[CanadaMan]

I did NOT end up traveling to Ukraine to find a partner. I just happened to find a person I loved talking to and she happened to be thousands of miles away. We discussed a life together and we agreed we could do that. THEN I traveled to Ukraine to be with her in person.

It's semantics Muzh.

You will take a sentence, any sentence, and if there is just one word, that doesn't resonate with you perfectly, as you yourself would have put together the sentence, then the entire sentence is wrong. It doesn't apply to you.


"you did in the end resort to traveling to Ukraine to find a desirable partner."

In this case you didn't like the word 'find', so the rest of the sentence became invalid.

OK, you found a woman who you thought would be compatible with you, without traveling to Ukraine.

But you still had to travel to Ukraine to meet her and see if you were truly compatible.

That takes time and effort. Time being away from your children too.

A lot more time than dating locally.

Your whole argument was that if it weren't for your kids, you wouldn't have a Ukrainian wife (a very strange argument.)
You said your kids were limiting your dating locally.

But they didn't limit you to travel to Ukraine.   

[Daveman]

Actually Dave, I am not wandering about whining about the moderators.

I know that - which is why I said it. 

[Muzh]

It's semantics Muzh.

You will take a sentence, any sentence, and if there is just one word, that doesn't resonate with you perfectly, as you yourself would have put together the sentence, then the entire sentence is wrong. It doesn't apply to you.


"you did in the end resort to traveling to Ukraine to find a desirable partner."

In this case you didn't like the word 'find', so the rest of the sentence became invalid.

OK, you found a woman who you thought would be compatible with you, without traveling to Ukraine.

But you still had to travel to Ukraine to meet her and see if you were truly compatible.

That takes time and effort. Time being away from your children too.

A lot more time than dating locally.

Your whole argument was that if it weren't for your kids, you wouldn't have a Ukrainian wife (a very strange argument.)
You said your kids were limiting your dating locally.

But they didn't limit you to travel to Ukraine.   

You are funny.
 
Why don't you define a MOBer?

[Slumba]

Okay Slumba, et al.
 
Let's hear your definition of a MOBer.
 
This should be good.

I myself, do not believe there is a "typical MOBer"; simply in that I don't think there is a useful definition that could include (some usernames are from another forum) "rosco, alex330, TurboGuy, patman, BillyB" etc. Such a definition would be so broad as to be meaningless . 

However, from some people's statements, it seems clear that whatever a "typical MOBer" is, they are not that.  People who have made such statements that indicate they are not "typical MOBer" include Ade, and you, and possibly others, I think.

[Daveman]

You are funny.
 
Why don't you define a MOBer?

This is something I've asked before as well.  Is it anyone who seeks to meet someone from a foreign country?  One week wonders who don't know each other prior to visa?  Specific stereotypes? It's tossed around a bunch but it still remains an ambiguous term.

Personally, I think of it as anyone who specifically sought out (or was sought out) and has met/married someone from a foreign country without being a resident in that foreign country at the time.

[Misha]

What is an MOBer? Well, if you are active here, it is pretty certain are that you are. We are all MOBer or wannabe MOBers in the sense of Marrried Over (the) Border    If you married somebody and somebody had to fill out immigration paperwork of one form or another, welcome to the club   

[Muzh]

Personally, I think of it as anyone who specifically sought out (or was sought out) and has met/married someone from a foreign country without being a resident in that foreign country at the time.

That's too general.
 
Think of military personnel overseas who marry a local.
 
I think there is a stigma associated with the term BECAUSE it falls in a very special category.

[The Natural]

What is an MOBer? Well, if you are active here, it is pretty certain are that you are. We are all MOBer or wannabe MOBers in the sense of Marrried Over (the) Border    If you married somebody and somebody had to fill out immigration paperwork of one form or another, welcome to the club 

Hmmm, I Googled it and got Money Over Bitches. Must be something else then. Good thing we're not MOBsters at least