Parables to describe FSU countries

[Larry1]

Some of you might have heard the parable of the isms. Here is a common version of it:

Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.

Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

Nazism: You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes the cows.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Communism and Nazism have been in decline since 1991 and 1945 respectively.  The parable of the isms has been updated to reflect modern conditions in the countries that once made up the USSR. The parable appears in the blog "Scraps of Moscow". Some of these are funny and apt:

Russia
You have six cows and four bulls. Two of the bulls die from alcoholism, and the remaining two form a "tandem" to take the cows' milk and sell it to Germany and China.

Ukraine
You have four of the most productive cows on the farm, two of which allow themselves to be milked by Russia, which upsets the other two so much their milk goes sour.

Georgia
You have two cows and one prize-winning bull. The bull is so distracted winning prizes that Russia runs away with both cows.

Belarus
You have one cow which you savagely beat until it produces milk. The milk dries up after your last savage beating, so now you must sell the cow to Russia.

Moldova
You have two cows and a calf, but the cows live in Italy and Russia and send milk home by Western Union. You ferment the milk into wine, and launch a frenzied campaign to join the EU. Meanwhile, the calf is stolen and sold by rustlers.

Armenia
You have four cows, but three of them live in Los Angeles and think they are horses. They send money for you to build stables.

Azerbaijan
You have one cow that produces lots of excellent milk. You sell the milk to Farmer Browne and buy cattle prods from Israel and Turkey.

Turkmenistan
You had one cow but you sold it to buy a golden statue of a cow that rotates with the sun.

Kazakhstan
You have two cows that produce vast quantities of milk. You sell the milk, buy each cow a gold-plated cow bell, and declare yourself bull for life.

Kyrgyzstan
You have two cows: one Kyrgyz and one Uzbek; they hate each other and refuse to be milked. Instead of hay, feed them tulips. Then sell one each to Russia and the United States. After six months sell them again.

Tajikistan
You have three cows: one Tajik, one Uzbek, and one Russian. You beat the Russian cow until it runs away, and use your misfortune to plead for international aid. Meanwhile Iran milks your remaining cows.

Uzbekistan
You have four cows. You let them drink all the water in the neighborhood swimming pool. Now no one can go swimming. You blame this on "corrupt and lawless elements," and volunteer to remain in power until the problem is solved.

The Baltic States
You have lost half your cows, for which you blame Russia and demand an apology. As consolation, the EU gives you a sleek Scandinavian-designed barn and NATO farmers teach you advanced milking techniques.

http://scrapsofmoscow.blogspot.com/

I don't understand Georgia's, but perhaps that's because I know little of current events in that country.

[Anathema]

Hahaha funny stuff, Larry.

[AC]

Good stuff Larry, however I fear that a form of fascism has already taken over much of the USA, and we are mostly oblivious to it.  Our water is fluoridated, which is a form of a poison.  Our food is genetically engineered by Monsanto (creepy).  In fact large corporate farms are mostly all that is left.  Clearly they are doing their best to buy up all remaining small farms.  There goes the quality of our food.  Then the government gives large subsidies to the sugar industry.  No need to remind most that the USA is the most obese nation on planet Earth, as well as very high rates of diabetes (the two go hand in hand).  So it would be very interesting to get your take on how as Americans we have been losing our freedoms.  Look at TSA and how apparently they picked more attractive persons for a pat down.  Government spying on our emails and cell phones.  Cameras everywhere.

I hear that some countries in the Middle East have more freedoms then we do, in certain ways.

[Muzh]

Good stuff Larry, however I fear that a form of fascism has already taken over much of the USA, and we are mostly oblivious to it.

I'm glad you are finally using your bean.

 Our water is fluoridated, which is a form of a poison.

Oops, spoke too soon.


Please explain to this biochemist that fluoridated water is "a form of poison."


I'll be waiting with abated breath.


[/size]

Our food is genetically engineered by Monsanto (creepy).

Have you ever had a Macintosh or Granny Smith and many other apples. How about a Tangelo? Or popcorn? I can go on an on.


How do you suppose all the examples above came to be? Yep, genetic engineering. Except it used to be called hybridization. Love the pure bred dogs? Them too.


[/size]

In fact large corporate farms are mostly all that is left.  Clearly they are doing their best to buy up all remaining small farms.  There goes the quality of our food.  Then the government gives large subsidies to the sugar industry.  No need to remind most that the USA is the most obese nation on planet Earth, as well as very high rates of diabetes (the two go hand in hand).

You picked this up from listening to radio, didn't you? I bet you Rush said it was a liberal conspiracy,didn't he?


[/size]

So it would be very interesting to get your take on how as Americans we have been losing our freedoms.  Look at TSA and how apparently they picked more attractive persons for a pat down.  Government spying on our emails and cell phones.  Cameras everywhere.

Yea, let's see your take on how THIS came about.

[/size]

I hear that some countries in the Middle East have more freedoms then we do, in certain ways.

Name one.


Now, remember the old saw that says: It is better for people to think of you as a fool than opening your mouth and dispel any doubt.

[Anathema]

Good stuff Larry, however I fear that a form of fascism has already taken over much of the USA, and we are mostly oblivious to it.  Our water is fluoridated, which is a form of a poison.  Our food is genetically engineered by Monsanto (creepy).  In fact large corporate farms are mostly all that is left.  Clearly they are doing their best to buy up all remaining small farms.  There goes the quality of our food.  Then the government gives large subsidies to the sugar industry.  No need to remind most that the USA is the most obese nation on planet Earth, as well as very high rates of diabetes (the two go hand in hand).  So it would be very interesting to get your take on how as Americans we have been losing our freedoms.  Look at TSA and how apparently they picked more attractive persons for a pat down.  Government spying on our emails and cell phones.  Cameras everywhere.

I hear that some countries in the Middle East have more freedoms then we do, in certain ways.

All you have to do is look at the Uk to see where we'll be in the not so distant future.    There was a time when, literally, the sun never set on the British Empire and now look at them.

[Boethius]

The US doesn't have colonies.   Nor does it have a strong union, or even left, culture.  What Americans consider "left" politically is right wing, or, at best, centrist, in most of the rest of the Western world.

[Anathema]

It's irrelevant though because that's how the politics are defined here.  We're also one of the only countries that don't use metric.  So what?

[Boethius]

Your analogy is flawed, because the United States is not comparable to the British Empire.

[Anathema]

Former British Empire.  The fact that my analogy went over your head doesn't make it flawed.

[Boethius]

The analogy didn't go over my head.  What, in any manner whatsoever, has the US done that is any way similar to the former British Empire?

[Anathema]

We are (or were) similar to the former British Empire.  We're now on our way to becoming the current UK, aka: pussified, socialist shit hole.

[Boethius]

You are nowhere near socialist.  The notion is laughable to any Westerner outside of the U.S. 
 
 

[Anathema]

Please tell the class where in the USA you reside and how long you've lived here again.

[Boethius]

Irrelevant.  Please tell me how the means of production in the U.S. are collectively owned. 
 
Please point to the socialist policies giving parents one year (minimum) paid leave when a child is born.  Please point me to state sanctioned subsidized daycare across the United States.  Show me the laws on minimum vacation requirements and vacation pay, and universal child bonus payments.  Please point me to the laws which require a woman;s job to be kept for her when she is pregnant/on maternity leave.   Please show me where the US has taxpayer funded universal healthcare.  All of the foregoing are pretty much standard in the rest of the Western world. 
 
 
 
 
 

[Anathema]

Oh it's very relevant if you intended for your post to have any kind of merit.  You don't even reside in this country but you have it all figured it out based on your perch from the outside looking in.  Got it.  If anything, that, is laughable.  Your position of internet know it all is secured. 

"On our way"....reading is fundamental and all that. 

[Boethius]

So you claim the U.S. is on the road to perdition (so to speak) because of its socialist policies.  I note the US is not a socialist country by the standards of any Westerner living outside the US.  I ask you for proof of these policies, and you fail to address my post. 
 
The point is, unlike the UK, American unions never had the country in a stranglehold, and the US does not have socialist policies.  Its politics are very different from that of most European countries, by necessity and because of its history.  Its politics are very different from former Commonwealth countries as well.
 
If you can prove otherwise, please do so, rather than getting snotty because someone dared to suggest your view of the world is not seen the same way elsewhere.  Or don't, and just continue to attempt to belittle me (which doesn't affect me one bit).  In the latter case, I'll assume you can't answer the question.

[LiveFromUkraine]

We are (or were) similar to the former British Empire.  We're now on our way to becoming the current UK, aka: pussified, socialist shit hole.

Where in the UK do you reside?

[Anathema]

So you claim the U.S. is on the road to perdition (so to speak) because of its socialist policies.  I note the US is not a socialist country by the standards of any Westerner living outside the US.  I ask you for proof of these policies, and you fail to address my post. 
 
The point is, unlike the UK, American unions never had the country in a stranglehold, and the US does not have socialist policies.  Its politics are very different from that of most European countries, by necessity and because of its history.  Its politics are very different from former Commonwealth countries as well.
 
If you can prove otherwise, please do so, rather than getting snotty because someone dared to suggest your view of the world is not seen the same way elsewhere.  Or don't, and just continue to attempt to belittle me (which doesn't affect me one bit).  In the latter case, I'll assume you can't answer the question.

You do realize (of course you don't) that there are already laws for half the things you mentioned?  You're trying to prove your vast knowledge of the USA and you're not even familiar with things like, The Pregnancy Discrimination Act?  Have you ever heard of places like California or New York City?  Have you maybe seen anything about a little deal called The Affordable Healthcare Act?

The freedom that America has enjoyed in the past is being eroded bit by bit, state by state.  The road to socialism is clear.  It's not exactly a secret; it's a huge fight everywhere here.

You're either more ignorant than you lead on or you're being purposefully obtuse.

[Anathema]

Where in the UK do you reside?

The UK is basically socialism incarnate.  It's much clearer to see but I'll give you a touché, anyway. 

[Anotherkiwi]

The US doesn't have colonies.

In name, perhaps not.  But what do you call places like Guam (Northern Marianas)?  Dependencies?  Drain on the economy?

What Americans consider "left" politically is right wing, or, at best, centrist, in most of the rest of the Western world.

Agreed.  Unfortunately some posters here can't (or aren't prepared to) try to consider how their politics looks from an outside perspective (and, just for you, Faux Pas, I'm NOT getting involved in another pointless political discussion).

It's irrelevant though because that's how the politics are defined here.  We're also one of the only countries that don't use metric.  So what?

Try this in English.  You're either THE ONLY country that doesn't use metrics (even though your scientists all do), or one of the FEW.

We are (or were) similar to the former British Empire.  We're now on our way to becoming the current UK, aka: pussified, socialist shit hole.

You're nothing like the former British Empire, because you were originally PART OF the British Empire!  Although it fought a successful War of Independence from the British, the USA never followed up its new-found freedom by exploring or colonising the earth in the same way as the great European powers of that time.  Apart from its reluctant participation in the two World Wars, all it has done is invade various places (e.g. The Philippines, Vietnam, Grenada), stay for a while, and then disappear back home.

Don't get me wrong - the USA is a great country, and has achieved an incredible amount, but a nation of explorers it is not.  So many of your people seem content to stay at home forever, marvelling at their own country's wonders (which is fair enough), but never considering that there may be things in the rest of the world which are just as (or even more) marvellous.

Even your wonderful space programme (not necessarily the manned part), with all the benefits it has brought the world, seems to have far more detractors than supporters.

Where in the UK do you reside?

The UK is basically socialism incarnate.  It's much clearer to see but I'll give you a touché, anyway. 

I'd written that, but didn't have time to hit the "Send" key first!

[AC]

You picked this up from listening to radio, didn't you? I bet you Rush said it was a liberal conspiracy,didn't he?

While I don't listen to talk radio at all, I find your repeated attempt to poison the well laughable.

Every time your pesky little fingers hit the keyboard the Marxist indoctrination "education" you received

from public University comes out.  I would think that a Socialist like you might pay attention to what Europe

does, in the case of fluoridated water.  Either way I would rather decide for myself what type of treatment my

water receives, rather than take the opinion of a government mouth piece.  That goes for Monsanto especially. 

While some of what they have done may be laudable and much of what you wrote is true, I prefer to have the freedom of choice to decide my food and water choices, and most of the World does as well.  I am not arguing the merit or lack of merit of Monsanto and fluoridated water, so much as the lack of choice and the willingness of the USA to impose these choices not only on our own country, but the developed World as well. 

We give "loans" to some third World countries, and then try to force our industries onto them as an addiction and alternative to the seeds they used for thousands of years.  Read about it in "Confessions of an Economic Hitman", that is if you're still capable of reading.  So far you haven't shown any evidence of that.

Who started government spying?  Sure Bush Jr. may have started it, but Obama has hardly been a voice of freedom.  Rand Paul had to do a nearly 13 hour filibuster on the Senate floor, the 2nd longest talking filibuster in history, to stop the Obama administration from committing drone strikes on American citizens, on American soil.

What Middle East government has more freedoms than the USA and our former parent the UK?  Try Turkey for one.  When the government there tried to put up the cameras which are over every square inch of the UK and soon enough the USA, enraged Turkish citizens shot them out with rifles or smashed them with other tools.

[AC]

You do realize (of course you don't) that there are already laws for half the things you mentioned?  You're trying to prove your vast knowledge of the USA and you're not even familiar with things like, The Pregnancy Discrimination Act?  Have you ever heard of places like California or New York City?  Have you maybe seen anything about a little deal called The Affordable Healthcare Act?

The freedom that America has enjoyed in the past is being eroded bit by bit, state by state.  The road to socialism is clear.  It's not exactly a secret; it's a huge fight everywhere here.

Absolutely correct!  Those who want to dispute the direction of the USA have not been paying attention.  Personally I think it's simply too late.  As Japan found out during WWII America is a sleeping giant, but this time around seems we've gone into a coma.

What is considered an "education" in the USA is nothing but Marxist PC indoctrination, and it starts at grade school but gets much worse in our public Universities.  Yes M. dear I went there, but unlike you did not swallow everything they tried to feed to me hook, line and sinker.

[Boethius]

You do realize (of course you don't) that there are already laws for half the things you mentioned?  You're trying to prove your vast knowledge of the USA and you're not even familiar with things like, The Pregnancy Discrimination Act?  Have you ever heard of places like California or New York City?  Have you maybe seen anything about a little deal called The Affordable Healthcare Act?

None of which are universal.  Unlike in almost all other Western countries.  You did realize that didn't you (of course you didn't).

The freedom that America has enjoyed in the past is being eroded bit by bit, state by state.  The road to socialism is clear.  It's not exactly a secret; it's a huge fight everywhere here.

The U.S. is more regulated than it has been in the past, and is more regulated than many other Western countries.  That does not mean it is socialist, nor that such regulation means the end of the road for the U.S.

You're either more ignorant than you lead on or you're being purposefully obtuse.

No, I just don't accept your version of reality.

[Anathema]

Try this in English.  You're either THE ONLY country that doesn't use metrics (even though your scientists all do), or one of the FEW.

I've found those that like to argue grammar and spelling do so because they don't actually have anything of substance to add.  I've never been to NZ but I've been to Australia.  You all don't speak English over there.    Since you want to criticize my English, I've taken the liberty of highlighting a few issues of your own.

You're nothing like the former British Empire, because you were originally PART OF the British Empire!  Although it fought a successful War of Independence from the British, the USA never followed up its new-found freedom by exploring or colonising the earth in the same way as the great European powers of that time.  Apart from its reluctant participation in the two World Wars, all it has done is invade various places (e.g. The Philippines, Vietnam, Grenada), stay for a while, and then disappear back home.

Don't get me wrong - the USA is a great country, and has achieved an incredible amount, but a nation of explorers it is not.  So many of your people seem content to stay at home forever, marvelling at their own country's wonders (which is fair enough), but never considering that there may be things in the rest of the world which are just as (or even more) marvellous.

Even your wonderful space programme (not necessarily the manned part), with all the benefits it has brought the world, seems to have far more detractors than supporters.

Woosh!  I'd say my point went over your head but I'll admit that I was probably not clear enough.  My comment had nothing to do with the USA exploring and taking new territories.

[Boethius]

I

n name, perhaps not.  But what do you call places like Guam (Northern Marianas)?  Dependencies?  Drain on the economy?

At one point, the Brits controlled over half the world.  That has never been the case with the U.S.