Are legit girls sometimes hesitant to do Skype calls?

[LAman]

As a girl I can agree with southern X, but I can add more:

1. Lack of English knowledge
2. Schedule, especially if a girl has a kid/kids (hard to find time, if she works 5 days a week too )
3. Other people in the apartment /no privacy
4. Shyness:)

These are the main problems for genuine girls...but sometimes there can be others...when I first came to all of it last year the last thing I expected when I answered a video call was to see hm...a guy without his pants....I was shocked for a month after it and did not want to skype anymore   

Girls call it "увидеть оленя" and I have read it is not a rare situation

5. Personality

 A girl can be not social butterfly or just boring personality. Not very good combo to be writing or speaking to.
 I do agree English skills very important.... most important ( or same language to communicate).
 If a girl takes time to write back something...I am bored and mind goes elsewhere.

In SX's case, I'll bet his wife was good in English skills and very social!!!!

Abashka...... make sure you don't video call on the guys birthdays!!!!!!!

[abashka]

Abashka...... make sure you don't video call on the guys birthdays!!!!!!!

I think I am finished with it Too many efforts, too much time and unpredictable results

[LAman]

I think I am finished with it Too many efforts, too much time and unpredictable results

Have you tried viber or whatsapp as alternatives? Great for when you are on the go too. Video can be
at times poor.

Or do you mean international dating???

[Miquel Westano]

interesting discussion so far on the skype thing

heres my thoughts on it fme

one  russian lady i had a strong connection with was not very forthcoming with wanting to meet in skype
after several emails and phone calls she did

her english was not good , and she felt very concious of this , she had her mum living with her , the apartment was  small and not very private she also had a small son , who with  her mums needs dictated her free time to meet in skype ,

thus while we had a strong connection her inability to adapt her shedule and become comfortable  with skyping made her reluctant to use it , this stalled the relationship to a point where i doubted her seriousness and commitment to it or at least developing it , she wasnt going to committ to much until a real meeting actually took place

both of us made mistakes in using skype , i did not realise how her bad english and lack of privacy affected her and made her feel ,
something  simple  like me laughing at one of her storys about her sons day that to me was funny , invoked in her thoughts of me laughing at her lack of good english & bad pronunciation , hence she used skype less and less

she did not realise she needed to use skype to help build up the face to face communication as i was genuine and had intentions to travel , she did not trust i was genuine and didnt fully committ to her spoken aim of a potential relationship

during this time another lady came into my contacts, she was fully committed to all aspects of developing a relationship , and badly wanted to meet in skype asap 
 we did and very quickly the first contact was reduced in importance and within a month dropped

my now wife [the second newer contact ] wanted to meet every day , often for hours and made changes to her life with a son also and mum to manage it , nothing was too hard or difficult and never expressed any reluctance that it might be , even though i knew it often made her life very very hard to do so ,

she insisted it was ok no matter what

one time in the first week i actually slept right through a skype meeting time , admittedly it was at 2.30am my time , anyway , my wife just sent me a small email to say she hoped i had'' sweet sleep and i must have been tired to do so , she understood it could happen given the early morning time i was awaking to meet with her  in skype ''

no anger , no venting about dissapointment etc , just expressing a positive wish to me about my needed sleep , when im sure she was badly dissapointed etc

that one small email very early on made a huge impact on me , and showed the difference between the two

during my conversation in dropping the first lady , she finally opened up and told me , she knew she could have done more , but she had a previous experience with a wm from australia who planned to meet her , she went to the airport in her city , date and time as advised to meet him, he never showed up , so with me she really wasnt going to committ to much until a real meeting once i was there , her skype feelings etc etc

my wife never had such an experience ,

you can never know in advance what others have experienced in this game , so it pays to keep an open mind until you know more ime

imo the first lady did manage to push me away , unknowingly and unwittingly we both got a very different vibe from each other that did not develop positivly

in hindsight its probably the natural way things work out for the better

so not skyping or skyping is not often the single  key , but it sure can help  if /when it is used in the relationship building toolkit with thought &understanding


SX

Excellent and informative post. 

[abashka]

Have you tried viber or whatsapp as alternatives? Great for when you are on the go too. Video can be
at times poor.

Or do you mean international dating???

Yes, I have viber, whatssap, fb,vk etc. Viber and whatsapp are very popular here. And really they are good alternative to skype:)

[ML]

I think I am finished with it Too many efforts, too much time and unpredictable results

How do you think your effort and time spent compares to what the WM goes through to make contact AND do the traveling?

[ML]

interesting discussion so far on the skype thing

heres my thoughts on it fme

. . . .

SX

Very nice write-up SX; thanks for sharing.

[JayH]

Have you tried viber or whatsapp as alternatives? Great for when you are on the go too. Video can be
at times poor.

Or do you mean international dating???

Do they show head only?

[abashka]

How do you think your effort and time spent compares to what the WM goes through to make contact AND do the traveling?

If you knew any details about my efforts you would understand i did probably more than some of WM Including traveling. But I am not going to discuss it.

[southernX]

la man   In SX's case, I'll bet his wife was good in English skills and very social!!!!

actually the opposite

her english was not bad, but we used the dictionary and often had to spell out words or half guess due to pronunciation of them

however given the time we spent on skype we very quickly over about two weeks formed avery good understanding of each other and in some ways we forged our own language /expressions which we understood

my wife is actually quite shy and conservative , so no social butterfly at all either , if anything she likes it best with just her and me for company , something iv never tired of 

however like many fsu woman ime , she is supremely determined to work at something and succeed once committed , this capacity for hard work in the face of adversity along with her  trust in me  enabled her to overcome many difficulties and obstacles to achieve our success

today im am so much more appreciative of her efforts than i was then , even though at the time i thought i understood what she was going through and was moving into by coming to australia

really as others has said the real work begins once you new wife arrives ,
the foundations are laid in the early stages though ime , that is why it is so supremely important to build trust & commitment and do what you say you will do no matter what it takes , and if not have  a dam good reason why not 

SX

[LAman]

Really happy it worked out for you SX.

I don't like speaking to anyone on Skype where minutes go by before something is written, to me that shows bad English or little interest.

OTOH, with viber I can carry conversation while working...answering any messages and responding in short times...can always look at phone for messages and can quickly go into a phone call or video call in a sec

[Shadow]

Considering the fact that Russia has more mobile as fixed connetions I would advise to switch to WhatsApp and Viber for communication. As for women not wanting to give out their phone in order for this, the ones who are tricky will have more than one phone.

[2tallbill]

Considering the fact that Russia has more mobile as fixed connetions I would advise to switch to WhatsApp and Viber for communication. As for women not wanting to give out their phone in order for this, the ones who are tricky will have more than one phone.

Or more than one sim card.

Welcome back to the forum, it's good to see that you are no longer
kidnapped by gay Muslim canine terrorists. 

[msmobyone]

Ditch the ones that wont skype and pay attention to the guys/women on here who have experience.  This is one of the few places you can really get something for nothing.  By that I mean great and sincere advice for free.  Don't waste the opportunity.

I am in a minority here... Skype or similar is something that I let the lady suggest ..I suggest a phone call first ...I'm not being contrary... it's just how I did it 

[LAman]

Or more than one sim card.

 

Huh??? I don't live in Ukraine and I have 3 sim cards from 3 larger service providers. It is very normal for a girl to have several phones/numbers...yet 1 will be her main phone. I think calls from same provider are/were free.

[southernX]

we used our skype log/  record of communication in the first visa application as it was very large part of our daily contact back then

one thing i noticed looking back when i was cutting and pasting the skype conversations we had  for the visa apps  was that my wifes english which was pretty reasonable at the start rapidly improved over a very short period of time ,

the first maybe 2 weeks we might spell or explain certain words  meaning to each other , within about 3-4 weeks this became much less & after 5-6 weeks it was very rare and the time log of contact showed clearly rapid improvement and longer conversations , often up to 12 hours over a weekend etc

one other use was to use the laptop as a mobile video camera when in skype
i would walk around the house and garden , beach etc often going to a different locationS to show her the view of nature , parks  or certain foods /shops , it helped as well as pictures to prepare for her visit /arrival

SX

[Larry1]

we used our skype log/  record of communication in the first visa application as it was very large part of our daily contact back then

one thing i noticed looking back when i was cutting and pasting the skype conversations we had  for the visa apps  was that my wifes english which was pretty reasonable at the start rapidly improved over a very short period of time...

My fiancee did that too for our K1 application. When it was printed out I was shocked by how thick the stack of paper was. We communicated a lot, every day.

[2tallbill]

Huh??? I don't live in Ukraine and I have 3 sim cards from 3 larger service providers. It is very normal for a girl to have several phones/numbers...yet 1 will be her main phone. I think calls from same provider are/were free.

I'm not saying it's a red flag, I was just trying to say that a girl doesn't need
two phones to have multiple phone numbers. She could just change her sim
card.

[LAman]

I'm not saying it's a red flag, I was just trying to say that a girl doesn't need
two phones to have multiple phone numbers. She could just change her sim
card.

I think the girl would rather have 2 phones than be changing sim cards. I was trying to point out
the amount of people I see with multiple phones, its a commonplace.
I have the multiple phones/service providers so girls don't have to pay for calling me. For me personally,
I would use one phone and pay for use.

[southernX]

My fiancee did that too for our K1 application. When it was printed out I was shocked by how thick the stack of paper was. We communicated a lot, every day.

same larry

i had to use a very large a4 file to hold it all

what eventuated at the interview in moscow was the interviewer gave the whole file back to my wife at the conclusion

my wife to that point had not seen the entire file as a complete unit , she was also shocked at the size and degree of detail it contained right from our first contact
SX

[JayH]

I think the girl would rather have 2 phones than be changing sim cards. I was trying to point out
the amount of people I see with multiple phones, its a commonplace.
I have the multiple phones/service providers so girls don't have to pay for calling me. For me personally,
I would use one phone and pay for use.

Funny reading some of you guys-- especially those that poke at guys for out of date or older info on tech stuff.
Many phones have 2 sim capability-- and work simultaneously.. Calls come to one phone and are quite identifiable which number is being called-- so  quite editable at that point.
The same applies to sms coming in.You can call or send sms from specific  number.
I have  one phone with dual  sim capacity  as described above--

and another with 4 ( FOUR)  sims that works as above.

I have described all this and more a few times previously-- really-- guys need to actually read other peoples posts occasionally   before creating misunderstandings in others.  The US seems so far behind the rest of the world on basic stuff it is laughable.

[JayH]

Really happy it worked out for you SX.

I don't like speaking to anyone on Skype where minutes go by before something is written, to me that shows bad English or little interest.

OTOH, with viber I can carry conversation while working...answering any messages and responding in short times...can always look at phone for messages and can quickly go into a phone call or video call in a sec

One has to be careful about slapping at guys  from yesteryear giving info--and paticularly when it was from earlier periods on stuff that may have changed now.
In SX posts above he describes a technique very relevant at the time( and still absolutely ok now)
LaMan is actually touching on later tech stuff current now.
The rise of the supersmart phone has given greater flexibility  for methods and style of contact.
As an example-- a generation who has grown up with sms type conversation  will be happy having 200 interchanges to say  a "good morning" !!--instead of writing a long letter!
You only have to watch them 'chatting" when in the same room to get this point!
Now-- that does deepend on how young or "hip" on tech girls are--but guys talking about how it was done in 1995 really are neolithic!

As an afterthought of where I was going above-- the notorious websites( & any contact method in fact)-- girls can now respond instantly and do not need to be sitting for hours in an agency to reply( or at a computer anywhere in fact).   What you see that is the giveaway--is a short response that is almost immediate-- and they can log in to chat also.

[LAman]

Funny reading some of you guys-- especially those that poke at guys for out of date or older info on tech stuff.
Many phones have 2 sim capability-- and work simultaneously.. Calls come to one phone and are quite identifiable which number is being called-- so  quite editable at that point.
The same applies to sms coming in.You can call or send sms from specific  number.
I have  one phone with dual  sim capacity  as described above--

and another with 4 ( FOUR)  sims that works as above.

I have described all this and more a few times previously-- really-- guys need to actually read other peoples posts occasionally   before creating misunderstandings in others.  The US seems so far behind the rest of the world on basic stuff it is laughable.

OMG Jay, they make phones with dual sim capacity??? Even quad sim capacity??? Boy, us Americans have really missed the boat on that one. I'm gonna spread the word when I get home, I'll be know as a the Tech guy from now on, getting first hand knowledge of cutting edge technology, thanks Jay for the heads up!!!!

[ML]

Ha . . . USA is so far ahead that two of our biggest Mobile providers don't even use SIM cards.

[JayH]

OMG Jay, they make phones with dual sim capacity??? Even quad sim capacity??? Boy, us Americans have really missed the boat on that one. I'm gonna spread the word when I get home, I'll be know as a the Tech guy from now on, getting first hand knowledge of cutting edge technology, thanks Jay for the heads up!!!!

Geez genius--if you knew it what is all the drivel about swapping sim cards upthread?

I do not now how many times forum has covered the problems of some US phones & networks  not working in other parts of the world-- as the rest of us have to explain why repeatedly.
Obviously enough--genius's like yourself would know all that stuff.
Funny thing is this-- phones are near enough world wide usable-except in the US-- with all it's great technology!!
You forgot to tell us how you are doing with Natalia?  You know--that so credible "innocent" you sent the forums way.

Ha . . . USA is so far ahead that two of our biggest Mobile providers don't even use SIM cards.

Like no else is?