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Author Topic: Trench's Questions and Philosophies  (Read 106180 times)

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Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1425 on: May 17, 2018, 06:39:13 PM »
Depends on the industry. I’ve never seen a successful professional who doesn’t dress well. Most also polish their shoes and get manicures.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline krimster2

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1426 on: May 17, 2018, 06:43:16 PM »
you haven't met very many software engineers have you?

Offline alex330

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1427 on: May 17, 2018, 07:02:13 PM »
You will never see successful professionals in cheap suits.


Certain professions like legal maybe. Very few people even wear suits anymore. At least in the industries I work with.

Offline JayH

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1428 on: May 17, 2018, 07:10:41 PM »

Certain professions like legal maybe. Very few people even wear suits anymore. At least in the industries I work with.

I have only worn a suit to go to court,funerals,weddings in the last 27 years ! 
I try and avoid all of them ! :)

The only exceptions being maybe a dozen business meetings where it  was more about showing respect for  the other participants !
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1429 on: May 17, 2018, 07:21:21 PM »
you haven't met very many software engineers have you?


My son has his first job currently as a software engineer.  He is required to wear a suit and tie to work daily, though they do have casual Fridays.



Certain professions like legal maybe. Very few people even wear suits anymore. At least in the industries I work with.


Legal, accounting, banking, brokerages (related to banking), oil and gas (office), even some high end men's clothing stores here have sales people in suits.


Where I don't see them - medical, car dealerships, oil workers, IT.  Real estate is 50/50.  Most male realtors I meet do wear suits.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline msmob

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1430 on: May 17, 2018, 07:23:37 PM »
you haven't met very many software engineers have you?

Sorry, Bo ... Have to concur with Krimster, here..    ;)
The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1431 on: May 17, 2018, 07:31:33 PM »
Every software engineer my son works with wears a suit and tie daily, other than on Fridays.  On Fridays, they are even allowed to wear jeans to the office.


Here, people were required to adhere to dress codes for years.  Then there was a gradual change, where suits and ties were no longer required.  But in the past 10 years or so, there has been a return to dress codes.  Every legal office I ever worked in had a dress code - suits and ties for male professional staff, more flexible for women, but nothing sleeveless, no open toed shoes, nothing too short, and that was for both professional and non professional staff.  The reason for the return allegedly is based on studies on productivity.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline alex330

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1432 on: May 17, 2018, 07:32:45 PM »

My son has his first job currently as a software engineer.  He is required to wear a suit and tie to work daily, though they do have casual Fridays.Legal, accounting, banking, brokerages (related to banking), oil and gas (office), even some high end men's clothing stores here have sales people in suits.Where I don't see them - medical, car dealerships, oil workers, IT.  Real estate is 50/50.  Most male realtors I meet do wear suits.

That is the first I have ever heard of anyone in tech wearing a suit, very strange. Does he work in Canada? Corporate?

Legal definitely, although the attorneys I worked for in Manhattan recently did not wear suits. Banking yes, sharp dressed gay men in suits. Men's clothing stores of course, but we don't have many due to our weather.  Accounting and realtors here usually won't wear suits, too hot. My perception is probably because of the industries I work with (marketing, software, etc) and the subtropical weather here.

My brother is a limo driver in Vegas. Wears a suit with a trenchcoat. His buddies are VIP hosts, doormen, etc. - all wear suits. He used to sell insurance, wore a suit.

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1433 on: May 17, 2018, 07:37:22 PM »
Dress codes vary over time. Shortly after I joined IBM in 1969, I grew a beard:


This was because most of my foreign colleagues were doing it: they explained that field personnel in their home countries were prohibited facial hair ;).

But the oddest was our Japanese colleague Hideo Nakabayashi who would come to the office wearing the strangest colour assortments, say orange jacket, green shirt, pink tie, blue trousers or similar weird combinations :(.

Not in compliance to his first name :D. I He explained that that if he did not show up at his Tokyo office properly dressed in black jacket, tie and trousers with a white shirt, he would be sent back home to change!
Milan's "Duomo"

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1434 on: May 17, 2018, 07:46:17 PM »
Every software engineer my son works with wears a suit and tie daily, other than on Fridays.  On Fridays, they are even allowed to wear jeans to the office.


Here, people were required to adhere to dress codes for years.  Then there was a gradual change, where suits and ties were no longer required.  But in the past 10 years or so, there has been a return to dress codes.  Every legal office I ever worked in had a dress code - suits and ties for male professional staff, more flexible for women, but nothing sleeveless, no open toed shoes, nothing too short, and that was for both professional and non professional staff.  The reason for the return allegedly is based on studies on productivity.

Noooooooo......... :(

Offline msmob

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1435 on: May 17, 2018, 07:57:42 PM »
Can't sleep, Trench ?
;)

Explains your 'code' error !
The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Online BillyB

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1436 on: May 17, 2018, 08:07:08 PM »
I have only worn a suit to go to court,funerals,weddings in the last 27 years ! 
I try and avoid all of them ! :)


If you don't attend people's funerals, they won't attend yours.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Online DaveNY

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1437 on: May 17, 2018, 09:12:09 PM »
What many of you aren't considering is your other half. My wife dresses very well when the occasion calls for formal wear. She has 50+ pairs of shoes many for evening wear and some of the shoes are expensive, $500+ a pair. Her dresses are even more expensive. When we go out and she's dressed well I have to dress appropriately (Trench take note).

My company's dress code dictates suit and tie for most of the male staff. I've always worn a suit and tie am comfortable in a suit and tie. Even on casual Friday I usually wear a suit and tie. Our IT department on the other hand is very casual. It's a good thing they don't interact with the general public. We generally don't let them in the executive offices unless it's an emergency.  :ROFL: 

Being 6'8" usually I can't buy off the rack suits. My work suits are tailor made in NYC and cost about $1,000/each. That's a jacket and two pair of pants. A good deal in my opinion. For my dress suits they generally average at least $2,700/ea, again for a suit and 2 pair of pants.

Most I've paid for a suit was 2 years ago when I was in London and had 3 suits custom made. Each cost about $4,800 for a  suit and 2 pair of pants. They were having a sale, 25% off. 

Another reality of married life is my wife has far more input into my wardrobe than I have into hers. She's not afraid to throw my clothes out if she thinks they're looking too worn. OTOH I'd never think of doing that to her clothes.

She tends to have an opinion on my suits, dress shirts, ties, etc. My opinion on her clothes? She looks great in everything. We're still happily married. 

Offline Sting23

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1438 on: May 17, 2018, 09:22:24 PM »
That is the first I have ever heard of anyone in tech wearing a suit, very strange. Does he work in Canada? Corporate?


yeah that's very strange. i got many software, programmer, IT friends.  None of them wear a suit. they don't interact with clients.  These are at big companies like Microsoft, SAP etc. 

 

Offline JayH

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1439 on: May 17, 2018, 09:22:57 PM »
If you don't attend people's funerals, they won't attend yours.

I am hoping I can avoid my own  too !! :)
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1440 on: May 18, 2018, 07:12:31 AM »
What many of you aren't considering is your other half. My wife dresses very well when the occasion calls for formal wear. She has 50+ pairs of shoes many for evening wear and some of the shoes are expensive, $500+ a pair. Her dresses are even more expensive. When we go out and she's dressed well I have to dress appropriately (Trench take note).

My company's dress code dictates suit and tie for most of the male staff. I've always worn a suit and tie am comfortable in a suit and tie. Even on casual Friday I usually wear a suit and tie. Our IT department on the other hand is very casual. It's a good thing they don't interact with the general public. We generally don't let them in the executive offices unless it's an emergency.  :ROFL: 

Being 6'8" usually I can't buy off the rack suits. My work suits are tailor made in NYC and cost about $1,000/each. That's a jacket and two pair of pants. A good deal in my opinion. For my dress suits they generally average at least $2,700/ea, again for a suit and 2 pair of pants.

Most I've paid for a suit was 2 years ago when I was in London and had 3 suits custom made. Each cost about $4,800 for a  suit and 2 pair of pants. They were having a sale, 25% off. 

Another reality of married life is my wife has far more input into my wardrobe than I have into hers. She's not afraid to throw my clothes out if she thinks they're looking too worn. OTOH I'd never think of doing that to her clothes.

She tends to have an opinion on my suits, dress shirts, ties, etc. My opinion on her clothes? She looks great in everything. We're still happily married.

That's a lot of money Dave to spend on a suit, probably about a quarter of my annual salary, lol, you must earn a lot of money, do you find buying expensive suits does anything for you?

I enjoy nothing better than thrashing the hell out of the competition in my cheaper than cheap, cut price supermarket suit ;D

I always think if a woman has a nice figure/attractive an expensive dress is not needed, just one that shows her figure of the best :)

Offline krimster2

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1441 on: May 18, 2018, 08:26:03 AM »
boy,
you Canadian and NYC folks seem to share a neurotic obsession over clothes

so glad for my 25 yrs in California
my last gig before working for myself was with an engineering consulting co based in Monterrey, CA,

our July 4 company parties were spent in a giant “clothing optional" outdoor heated pool in Big Sur, where you could watch whales and sailboats glide by...
all but a few people were nude...
interesting experience seeing everyone you work with sans clothing
and vice-versa

I liked it!
much better experience than when I was clerking at my dad's firm
and had to "walk the walk"
after I was in the military
I never wanted to wear another uniform
and that's all a suit really is
I don't want to be "somebody's guy"
I earned the right to dress the way I god damned want

now get the hell off my lawn!


Offline Blighty

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1442 on: May 18, 2018, 08:33:22 AM »
That's a lot of money Dave to spend on a suit, probably about a quarter of my annual salary, lol, you must earn a lot of money, do you find buying expensive suits does anything for you?

From this statement your annual salary is £($4800*4)/1.34) = £14,328 which is well below the UK minimum income requirement of  £18,600 for a spouse visa! No wonder you whinge about spending money on women, as you are underfunded for this venture.

JayH is right in pressing you for details of the purchases for your ex-Ukrainian 'girlfriend'. My wife tells me that an expensive dress would cost 4,000UAH (about £113). So did you buy her 4 dresses?


Offline BdHvA

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1443 on: May 18, 2018, 08:43:29 AM »
I earned the right to dress the way I god damned want

now get the hell off my lawn!

 :applause:

I admit the story of 'clothing optional' is amazing. But I would caution sometimes fantasy is better than reality.

A while back I was often in Paris, I tend to wear sport jackets and English ties. Since it is my money I can sort of set the rules. I noticed many of the clerks and juniors were dressed in suits and rather conservative clothing.

During lunch with the lawyer friend who worked in the art industry and handled matters for us he explained that the directors and owners always wore casual clothing. There was ONE place to eat, it was divided in a fashion only the French can do. At the time we always were seated in the back with the seniors and they often spoke freely with competitors.

Today my son works in IT and is second IT person in a firm that is involved in travel planning. About 300 employees. Mostly vacation and tourist things in NYC, but the company is owned by a German concern. He is general code writer and fix it sort of person. No one wears anything like a tie. He goes to work in an Oxford shirt and khaki's on his bike.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 08:49:27 AM by BdHvA »
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Online Nightwish

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1444 on: May 18, 2018, 09:00:13 AM »
From this statement your annual salary is £($4800*4)/1.34) = £14,328 which is well below the UK minimum income requirement of  £18,600 for a spouse visa! No wonder you whinge about spending money on women, as you are underfunded for this venture.

JayH is right in pressing you for details of the purchases for your ex-Ukrainian 'girlfriend'. My wife tells me that an expensive dress would cost 4,000UAH (about £113). So did you buy her 4 dresses?

Explains a lot, and makes you wonder why he haven't revealed this fact earlier, totally underfunded for any adventure..
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 09:02:48 AM by Nightwish »
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1445 on: May 18, 2018, 09:58:10 AM »
From this statement your annual salary is £($4800*4)/1.34) = £14,328 which is well below the UK minimum income requirement of  £18,600 for a spouse visa! No wonder you whinge about spending money on women, as you are underfunded for this venture.

JayH is right in pressing you for details of the purchases for your ex-Ukrainian 'girlfriend'. My wife tells me that an expensive dress would cost 4,000UAH (about £113). So did you buy her 4 dresses?

Well they also take into account savings and income from other sources (other than salary) in addition to your salary for the visa. So a guy like me that has a salary less than the £18,600 (before tax) can still do it if he has decent savings and/or income to supplement his salary over the £18,600. Owning my own home might also be taken into account as mean overheads are less.

I could increase my hours to over the current 30 hours a week and this would be no issue for me and that would take me over the £18,600. So that would be the sure way to avoid knock back from Border Control over the issue on that point at least. However, like said before I currently do small building projects for the rest of the time so this pays better though is classed as a capital gain so separate in theory from salary.

My concern is not just about expenditure off money on clothing for her but on the terms of our relationship. The buying of stuff for her can make someone wonder if she is just with you for that purpose.

When in Cyprus I bought her several items of clothing, I would have to check but probably amounting to 4 dresses. They varied a little in price but I remember one was around the £80 range or so. Apparently their was a Sale on in most shops at the time though I wondered if they always had one on over there as the economy is still recovering from the crash  from a decade ago there. Why these shops seam to charge more for womens clothes than their mens range I don't know, like hairdressers I guess which seem to do the same. 

Online DaveNY

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1446 on: May 18, 2018, 11:33:16 AM »
That's a lot of money Dave to spend on a suit, probably about a quarter of my annual salary, lol, you must earn a lot of money, do you find buying expensive suits does anything for you?

Yes, I do enjoy buying expensive suits and other things. I've worn a suit for my entire working career and feel comfortable in it. I like to look good. My ties, shirts and shoes are just as expensive. Socks only cost about $20/each. Size 18 feet are expensive. :D

I worked hard to earn my lifestyle when I was younger and now. I earned a scholarship to university and yet worked all throughout university to pay for a car and future investments. Bought a house before I finished law school thanks to that work ethic. Prior to moving to Russia I owned shares in the company I worked at, as I do in my current company. When the company I worked for was bought the new owners had to pay me a significant amount of money, a very golden handshake. That enabled me to live worry free in Russia for years. Although I worked hard in Russia.

Even while I was in Russia working as an English teacher I worked other jobs. Did some legal work for Americans in Russia. Made several trips home for legal work. All this extra work paid far more than teaching English as did the next job I got in Moscow.


I enjoy nothing better than thrashing the hell out of the competition in my cheaper than cheap, cut price supermarket suit ;D

I always think if a woman has a nice figure/attractive an expensive dress is not needed, just one that shows her figure of the best :)

Trenchcoat, several of the my wife's dresses cost more than my suits. Add in thousands of dollars more for her jewelry. I have a $7,500 Rolex bought about 25 years ago. It's appreciated in value.

Trenchcoat you may think that women don't need expensive things however my wife is employed and earns a very good living. She could support herself and our kids easily without my help. Your idea that you should be your family's sole financial support and your future wife should stay at home and not work is crazy. You seem to have no idea how a modern relationship works.

Trenchcoat I also drive a very expensive car, a BMW. I've owned a Mercedes in the past but do prefer the BMW. My wife owns the family Mercedes. She picked out her car she paid for her car with money she earned. She makes that type of money. Trench this is the type of career she has made for herself.

We own five homes in the greater NYC area and 2 homes in Florida. When we're not vacationing there they're rented out. The NYC houses are also rented out.

Bought the places in Fl during the market collapse and to tell you the truth we probably should have bought 3 or 4 more. We could have afforded it. Those investments have appreciated significantly. 
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 11:39:52 AM by DaveNY »

Offline Blighty

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1447 on: May 18, 2018, 11:49:49 AM »
Well they also take into account savings and income from other sources (other than salary) in addition to your salary for the visa. So a guy like me that has a salary less than the £18,600 (before tax) can still do it if he has decent savings and/or income to supplement his salary over the £18,600. Owning my own home might also be taken into account as mean overheads are less.

I could increase my hours to over the current 30 hours a week and this would be no issue for me and that would take me over the £18,600. So that would be the sure way to avoid knock back from Border Control over the issue on that point at least. However, like said before I currently do small building projects for the rest of the time so this pays better though is classed as a capital gain so separate in theory from salary.

My concern is not just about expenditure off money on clothing for her but on the terms of our relationship. The buying of stuff for her can make someone wonder if she is just with you for that purpose.

There are strict rules to be followed. Read the following documents to understand the exact requirements ...

http://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/
system/uploads/attachment_data/file/270484/VAF4A-Appendix2.pdf
http://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/
uploads/attachment_data/file/636618/Appendix_FM_1_7_Financial_Requirement_Final.pdf

Only savings over £16,000 can be used for a spouse visa, and your employment earnings are assessed over 6 months (sometimes 12 months). A lot of people fail to get a spouse visa because they failed to read these documents. UKVI probably have targets to fail a certain number of applications due to government policy. My income was in excess of £18,600 for the last 12 months, and so VAF4A was not a problem for me.

In my view, buying her 4 dresses was totally excessive. My wife loves shopping but she knows  that she is unlikely to get more than one new dress at a time. BTW  I only bought her clothing presents after we were married. She was dating me as a future partner, not as sometime with a western wallet.

Just trying to help you.

« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 01:19:03 PM by AnonMod »

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1448 on: May 18, 2018, 01:25:36 PM »
There are strict rules to be followed. Read the following documents to understand the exact requirements ...

http://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/270484/VAF4A-Appendix2.pdf
http://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/636618/Appendix_FM_1_7_Financial_Requirement_Final.pdf

Only savings over £16,000 can be used for a spouse visa, and your employment earnings are assessed over 6 months (sometimes 12 months). A lot of people fail to get a spouse visa because they failed to read these documents. UKVI probably have targets to fail a certain number of applications due to government policy. My income was in excess of £18,600 for the last 12 months, and so VAF4A was not a problem for me.

In my view, buying her 4 dresses was totally excessive. My wife loves shopping but she knows  that she is unlikely to get more than one new dress at a time. BTW  I only bought her clothing presents after we were married. She was dating me as a future partner, not as sometime with a western wallet.

Just trying to help you.

Thanks with the info Blighty. Yep was aware it's just 6 months salary so pretty doable for me, I can just increase my hours after I find the right girl for six months and decrease again after so no problem with that. Thanks for the link with all the ins & outs though as I've not read all the nitty gritty yet just the main points.

I'm still keeping myself pretty flexible as to whether I live there for some time or she comes here as I know some women don't so much wish to leave their hometown. I'm working on gaining income independent of employer so that should help in such a circumstance.

Your right the girl was not what I had hoped in terms of values. We had sex together and she seems to have wanted a serious relationship but I think she had certain ideas about International dating with a foriegn guy and what it would bring her. As mentioned on here before a lot of FSW seem to think foreign guys are real rich and can afford whatever constantly. Still its all experience and I am hopefull it will stand me in good stead this time around :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1449 on: May 18, 2018, 01:28:30 PM »
Trench, it appears you make considerably less than the "average" UK male, and those are "average" salaries. That explains, partly, why you are not attractive to UK females.  You are in your prime earning years.

I don't think your income level, unless you are making double in capital gains, will be sufficient to support an FSUW.  If a UW wanted to live in poverty, she'd stay in Ukraine,  UM offer far more advantages, in similar circumstances, than do you.  One of the "advantages" of WM is you are no longer a hamster on a wheel, living paycheque to paycheque and worrying about every cent spent.

To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

 

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