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Author Topic: Trench's Questions and Philosophies  (Read 167207 times)

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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1500 on: May 20, 2018, 02:47:35 AM »
What a stupid comment ... the truth obviously hurts you! You have set yourself up as a sort of 'Brain of Britain' who is an expert on FSU dating. Ever heard of the old saying 'Quality not Quantity'? Well, you do post a load of old cobblers which other Brits can see through.

When I started my search, I was intensely corresponding with six women before my first trip. Why not spend your time finding a future partner, rather than expressing your 'expert' views here on everything from Brexit to FSU dating?

BTW Have ever been to Ukraine? I have visited several times, and noticed in the big cities that most women prefer to wear trousers during their everyday life. Where on earth do you get this idea of them wearing short skirts for you? These are mostly seeking western men for their liberated attitudes towards women, rather than some 'Andy Capp' Numbskull.

Yes I have been to Ukraine three times now soon to be a fourth next month. I now prefer to meet them in person on the trip rather than waste a lot of time on waffle beforehand, all the 'and how is your cat has she recovered from her sickness' sort of rubbish. Found it to be a lot of time input only to find it being wasted on the wrong woman.

So am feeling great to be having another stab at this soon. I think I am well placed this time to make a good go at it being a bit more familiar now with the oddities that can turn up in FSU dating.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online msmob

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1501 on: May 20, 2018, 05:25:17 AM »
I now prefer to meet them in person on the trip rather than waste a lot of time on waffle beforehand, all the 'and how is your cat has she recovered from her sickness' sort of rubbish. Found it to be a lot of time input only to find it being wasted on the wrong woman.


You see, Blighty - he either didn't 'get' you point - or ignored it  - about trousers ;)

Trench - you are an idiot to do 'blind' dates -  if you can't get by on SKYPE - you're not going to cope face to face, either

No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1502 on: May 20, 2018, 05:47:22 AM »
You see, Blighty - he either didn't 'get' you point - or ignored it  - about trousers ;)

Trench - you are an idiot to do 'blind' dates -  if you can't get by on SKYPE - you're not going to cope face to face, either

I can get by on Skype I just don't want to waste a log of time on lengthy conversations (messaging as well) just to later find its all to waste because there is no chemistry there on meeting.
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Offline Sting23

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1503 on: May 20, 2018, 06:14:32 AM »
I can get by on Skype I just don't want to waste a log of time on lengthy conversations (messaging as well) just to later find its all to waste because there is no chemistry there on meeting.

what makes you think the girl won't flake out on you once you are there.  you are a complete foreign stranger to them.  A few text messages back and forth before you go means nothing.  The consensus among most if not all the guys here is that you will fail big time. 

So how many girls are you actually talking to right now? you going next month right.  or you gonna do a cold approach on the streets. that'll be funny!

Online Nightwish

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1504 on: May 20, 2018, 06:44:47 AM »
Trench..

I'll be in Odessa 2-8 June, that's about the same time you will be in Ukraine as I understand, can't you come down there and show me how you will approach the girls, if you manage to do a cold score I promise we will take you on a double date and I'll even pick up the tab.  :popcorn:
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Offline Sting23

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1505 on: May 20, 2018, 07:23:53 AM »
Trench..

I'll be in Odessa 2-8 June, that's about the same time you will be in Ukraine as I understand, can't you come down there and show me how you will approach the girls, if you manage to do a cold score I promise we will take you on a double date and I'll even pick up the tab.  :popcorn:

now this I'd like to see! Trench speaks zero Russian so basically he needs to find a girl who knows English.  I have a feeling his interactions are gonna repel anyone he approaches!

Online msmob

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1506 on: May 20, 2018, 07:59:02 AM »
I can get by on Skype I just don't want to waste a log of time on lengthy conversations (messaging as well) just to later find its all to waste because there is no chemistry there on meeting.

We've been through all this BS, before..  You Skype and know the one's you want to meet - not waste time going on blind dates - like you ...

You are wasting money ( that normally gets your attention ) as well as time and the likelihood of failing is MUCH higher
No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Online jone

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1507 on: May 20, 2018, 08:04:20 AM »
There are very few guys who can walk into a social setting and walk out with a relationship with a woman.  And my thoughts are that those that do have that ability are mostly players.  What would be the result of such a relationship?  A One Week Wonder?  The chances of success of such a relationship are remote.  I've known of only two on this forum and one of those is the result of both previous relationships and a gregarious personality. 

Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline Sting23

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1508 on: May 20, 2018, 08:25:42 AM »
just let him do whatever he wants. he doesn't listen to anyone here, didn't learn from his past mistakes. Don't see how this time will be any different. 

Online Nightwish

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1509 on: May 20, 2018, 10:00:06 AM »
now this I'd like to see! Trench speaks zero Russian so basically he needs to find a girl who knows English.  I have a feeling his interactions are gonna repel anyone he approaches!

I actually didn't have a problem with this, not knowing any Russian. I "played" the charming tourist and had no problem talking ladies in to having lunch/dinner or a stroll to the nearest café or bar.

Then again I don't have the personality of a doorknob, nor did I in any way have the misogynist views that Trench have.

An almost "sure thing" was to take a stroll in one of the many parks with a children playground, just keep the eyes open for the many many many single moms who came there with their kids, then approach them in a casual way and strike up a conversation, ask them to join me for a cup of cappuccino and ask them about where to go, what to see, what restaurants to try and so on.. sure I got a lot of "njet angliskiy" but remarkably many tried to be helpful despite this, and many showed a lot of interest in further company.

Got countless dates that way, and more then my share of invites to come back home and try a homecooked meal at some point, something I both accepted and enjoyed in more ways then one. 

Thinking back, being a single foreigner like that, why did I stop it  :P :P

but the thing is, it is not hard in any way to meet a woman "on the street" - in the right setting - if you are being sincere, if you show an interest in the woman, not only how she looks, but as a woman, as a human, and the difference to do this "back home" is that the women there seems to enjoy the attention in a whole different way even from "strangers".
That is my experience, I know many say women are women, but no they are not in my eyes..

My experience here has been that Ukrainian women have this way of first accepting an approach, actually really enjoying it, showing that they are interested, accept the invitation to some more, then "turn it all off" to test how serious you are, and when you show that you are serious, and if she likes you - you will with certainty know she is in to you - in all ways possible.

I will say this, I am sure Trench will manage to get a date or two, but it will be many lonely evening at the hotel, and the dates he will manage to get is with women who see him as a walking wallet, a free meal, a "stupid foreigner" and the type of gold diggers he is so afraid of meeting.

The women in the early thirties without a child is in quite high demand - if she looks good - and she will have so much attention from men that have so much more to offer then poor Trenchy here, so they are literally out of his league. He can go on and on about "real love" and chemistry and all the bollox he want. That wont change the fact that without lining up some prospect beforehand, he wont stand a chance in hell.

On "the streets" -
Finding a beautiful woman, really easy.
Finding a serious woman, not hard, often quite easy.
Finding a woman who you click with - "chemistry", harder, very hard even.
Finding a woman - who can see herself living in an other country, to leave her homeland, to leave her family, friends, society and culture and work and and and.. - very very hard

combine all these above - good luck, I do hope you have many years to spend on this journey.

It took me 3 years, and I was very active on social media, on datingsites, skype, viber, messaging day and night, and finally with boots on the ground. I had over 20 trips to FSU in these 3 years until I met her, somewhere around 100-120 days in Ukraine (and Russia) in total.

but then again, I found the unicorn, the one of a kind, the kind of woman you all dream about but will never get close even, I got her. :) and she found me on Fdating............


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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1510 on: May 20, 2018, 01:15:32 PM »
The women in the early thirties without a child is in quite high demand - if she looks good - and she will have so much attention from men that have so much more to offer then poor Trenchy here, so they are literally out of his league. He can go on and on about "real love" and chemistry and all the bollox he want. That wont change the fact that without lining up some prospect beforehand, he wont stand a chance in hell.

On "the streets" -
Finding a beautiful woman, really easy.
Finding a serious woman, not hard, often quite easy.
Finding a woman who you click with - "chemistry", harder, very hard even.
Finding a woman - who can see herself living in an other country, to leave her homeland, to leave her family, friends, society and culture and work and and and.. - very very hard

combine all these above - good luck, I do hope you have many years to spend on this journey.

So if when there I ask a girl I have not corresponded to before to meet me for a drink she does so and there is chemistry there she is not going to go with me. She is going to continue looking, go for some local guy because he has so much more going for him than me? She will continue looking for a local guy with chemistry or somehow better prospects in some way than me? Possible I'm sure but I would find it hard to fathom that many a girl would do this. If there is chemistry it is surely magnetic is it not?

Well living in her area is not off the cards. I cannot do it at the moment, possibly later this year but most likely next. I need to secure myself independent income to do this so I can live out there without needing to work. I would off course visit back to her on the interim if I did find the right girl out there.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Online Nightwish

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1511 on: May 20, 2018, 01:45:18 PM »
So if when there I ask a girl I have not corresponded to before to meet me for a drink she does so and there is chemistry there she is not going to go with me. She is going to continue looking, go for some local guy because he has so much more going for him than me? She will continue looking for a local guy with chemistry or somehow better prospects in some way than me? Possible I'm sure but I would find it hard to fathom that many a girl would do this. If there is chemistry it is surely magnetic is it not?

Well living in her area is not off the cards. I cannot do it at the moment, possibly later this year but most likely next. I need to secure myself independent income to do this so I can live out there without needing to work. I would off course visit back to her on the interim if I did find the right girl out there.

I never said that, I said the chance for you to find this - and find it this way you are thinking of doing - is so small that you might as well try and get Meghan Markle to marry you. That chance feels bigger.

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Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1512 on: May 20, 2018, 02:08:08 PM »
So if when there I ask a girl I have not corresponded to before to meet me for a drink she does so and there is chemistry there she is not going to go with me. She is going to continue looking, go for some local guy because he has so much more going for him than me?


Of course she is going to continue looking for local men as well.  Don't delude yourself otherwise.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline DaveNY

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1513 on: May 20, 2018, 02:10:48 PM »
So if when there I ask a girl I have not corresponded to before to meet me for a drink she does so and there is chemistry there she is not going to go with me. She is going to continue looking, go for some local guy because he has so much more going for him than me? She will continue looking for a local guy with chemistry or somehow better prospects in some way than me? Possible I'm sure but I would find it hard to fathom that many a girl would do this. If there is chemistry it is surely magnetic is it not?

Trench reading some of your posts I find it hard to believe that you've dated locally let alone elsewhere. Yes a FSUW will continue looking even if she thinks she might have some chemistry with you from a chance meeting at a local coffee shop. You're a foreigner. Someone who doesn't speak her language, doesn't understand her culture, doesn't live in her town, won't be around for long and for all she knows is a sex tourist.

Your local competition speaks her language, understands her culture, lives in her town, will be in town tomorrow, next week, next year, etc. He's only a phone call away. You're several time zones away.

Who's she going to go out with on Friday and Saturday night when you're at a pub in the UK? Do you think a hot 20 something FSUW is going to sit at home on a Friday and Saturday night thinking only of you because she meet you once at McDonads?   


Well living in her area is not off the cards. I cannot do it at the moment, possibly later this year but most likely next. I need to secure myself independent income to do this so I can live out there without needing to work. I would off course visit back to her on the interim if I did find the right girl out there.

If you earn as little as you've said in past posts how are you going to be financially secure enough next year to move to Russia or Ukraine? Are you hoping to win the EuroMillions? Hot stock tip?

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1514 on: May 20, 2018, 02:32:40 PM »
If you earn as little as you've said in past posts how are you going to be financially secure enough next year to move to Russia or Ukraine? Are you hoping to win the EuroMillions? Hot stock tip?

Well I've got a hot stock tip but I'm not counting on that. Essentially I will rent out my house, the £400 or so clear income will be more than enough to rent a pad out there, say up to £200 with the other £200 to pay for bills food & entertainment. I'll have savings in addition so if I go over one month it will not be a big problem. Apparently the average Ukrainian monthly salary did not exceed $300 last year so I should live well comparatively speaking :)
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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1515 on: May 20, 2018, 02:39:22 PM »
I never said that, I said the chance for you to find this - and find it this way you are thinking of doing - is so small that you might as well try and get Meghan Markle to marry you. That chance feels bigger.

Admittedly it is not my prefered option to do a fly in visit. I personally wanted to live out there for an extended period of time this year but it became clear that timescale wise it was unlikely. Next year looks like it will likely be far more feasible for me, but I don't wish to lose too much time this year. I think even if I don't meet the right one this year more experience out there could really help me.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline alex330

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1516 on: May 20, 2018, 02:41:06 PM »
I would budget more than that man. You are not gonna be able to live like a native easily. Definitely not be able to date on that kind of income....

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1517 on: May 20, 2018, 02:46:42 PM »

Of course she is going to continue looking for local men as well.  Don't delude yourself otherwise.

It's why I ask in other thread about if a girl has chemistry but also a goldigger. 2tallbill says do not try and fix a girl and no such a girl probably can't be fixed, at least not easily. Yet such a girl is no doubt going to have difficulty dating locally, all the local guys will either not have anywhere near the wealth to satisfy her and let's face it such a girl is unlikely to ever be satisfied or they will just not wish to spend their money.

So some girls will be able to date locally some won't is the way I see it. Some other girls nah have other issues, too modest for example so guys tire off holding out for her to put out, etc.
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1518 on: May 20, 2018, 02:48:20 PM »

I would budget more than that man. You are not gonna be able to live like a native easily. Definitely not be able to date on that kind of income....

Yes.  Your "average" is for the entire country.  Wages in cities generally are higher.  You also are only taking into account official statistics.  Gray salaries are not included in those numbers.  The majority of Ukrainians are not paying for apartments, so after rent, your salary is, at best, comparable to that of an employed Ukrainian.  Finally, as a Westerner, everything you buy will be at higher rates than the locals.
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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1519 on: May 20, 2018, 02:50:12 PM »
It's why I ask in other thread about if a girl has chemistry but also a goldigger. 2tallbill says do not try and fix a girl and no such a girl probably can't be fixed, at least not easily. Yet such a girl is no doubt going to have difficulty dating locally, all the local guys will either not have anywhere near the wealth to satisfy her and let's face it such a girl is unlikely to ever be satisfied or they will just not wish to spend their money.

So some girls will be able to date locally some won't is the way I see it. Some other girls nah have other issues, too modest for example so guys tire off holding out for her to put out, etc.


All women are able to date locally. 


As for golddiggers, what is she "digging" from you?  Your vast income?  Ukrainian programmers make 4 times your income, and more than your overall income.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1520 on: May 20, 2018, 02:51:33 PM »
I would budget more than that man. You are not gonna be able to live like a native easily. Definitely not be able to date on that kind of income....

Well it will affect least cover the essentials, I can then either live of savings and/or do a bit of English Foreign Language Tutoring. Main thing is I won't be working all the time. I think the rental income alone may give a but of a spartan lifestyle but still I will probably get by ok on it. Most Ukrainians apparently live on a lot less.
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Offline DaveNY

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1521 on: May 20, 2018, 02:51:39 PM »
Well I've got a hot stock tip but I'm not counting on that. Essentially I will rent out my house, the £400 or so clear income will be more than enough to rent a pad out there, say up to £200 with the other £200 to pay for bills food & entertainment. I'll have savings in addition so if I go over one month it will not be a big problem. Apparently the average Ukrainian monthly salary did not exceed $300 last year so I should live well comparatively speaking :)

Budget at a minimum for at least twice what you think it will cost you. I lived in Moscow for years. Heard horror stories from people who came over to teach English and budgeted the minimum. It always, and I mean always, costs far more than budgeted for.

If your research says you can get by on £500/month budget for £1,000/month. It is better to have extra money each month than be stuck in some foreign country with no money in your pocket. As Alex330 says you cannot live as cheaply as a local. It is not possible.

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1522 on: May 20, 2018, 02:54:29 PM »

All women are able to date locally. 


As for golddiggers, what is she "digging" from you?  Your vast income?  Ukrainian programmers make 4 times your income, and more than your overall income.

They would have gotten with them already if they could. Anyway, it is clear by the stats that most Ukrainians have humdrum jobs that don't bring good income like IT programmers.
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Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1523 on: May 20, 2018, 02:56:18 PM »
Budget at a minimum for at least twice what you think it will cost you. I lived in Moscow for years. Heard horror stories from people who came over to teach English and budgeted the minimum. It always, and I mean always, costs far more than budgeted for.

If your research says you can get by on £500/month budget for £1,000/month. It is better to have extra money each month than be stuck in some foreign country with no money in your pocket. As Alex330 says you cannot live as cheaply as a local. It is not possible.

Well Moscow is kind of expensive I would probably be looking at a cheaper location, but I get your point, many thanks Dave ;)
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Offline alex330

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1524 on: May 20, 2018, 02:59:54 PM »
Yet such a girl is no doubt going to have difficulty dating locally, all the local guys will either not have anywhere near the wealth to satisfy her and let's face it such a girl is unlikely to ever be satisfied or they will just not wish to spend their money.

So some girls will be able to date locally some won't is the way I see it. Some other girls nah have other issues, too modest for example so guys tire off holding out for her to put out, etc.


Ok, but in that case why would she choose to date you with your 200 pounds per month for food and entertainment? You would need to have something besides $$$ or some strong chemistry. You could probably pull an average girl over there if you planned on 1k a month I think. As long as you have no major malfunctions...

 

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Re: Trippin in St Pete by krimster2
October 14, 2019, 06:14:34 PM

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