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Author Topic: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?  (Read 4136 times)

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Online 2tallbill

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How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #100 on: September 14, 2018, 07:57:56 AM »
I didn't think of the humiliation factor, The only reason I thought of bringing her friend into it is to be there for emotional support, not to do my talking for me or anything like that, but your right, it's probably not a good idea overall..

I would just break it off. Call her on Skype, send her an email or whatever.
It's like pulling off a band aid, it's better to just do it and not draw it out.

The sooner she knows the sooner she can move on with her life.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline BdHvA

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #101 on: September 14, 2018, 08:23:40 AM »
 :welcome:
I would just break it off. Call her on Skype, send her an email or whatever.
It's like pulling off a band aid, it's better to just do it and not draw it out.

The sooner she knows the sooner she can move on with her life.


2tall bill +1

This waffling is silly, do what you have to do. You are tormenting her as much as your self.

You need to stop tormenting your self and act. I do think being in contact with her best friend explaining your choice is a good idea. Your fiancé sounds border line bipolar.

Good advice is given upthread. Read it and pull the plug. Otherwise use option 3 and pull the the trigger.
Experierence is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. A. Huxley

Offline Nikolos

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #102 on: September 19, 2018, 08:21:51 PM »
Update;

I broke it off last night.. While we were messaging, the subject came out about our differences on the trip and I used the opportunity to express how incompatible and indifferent we are and that it would never work, She was quite angry and hurt, she wrote that she would hang herself, it scared me a little and then I thought it could be a guilt trip, The next day I sent her a letter that I had prepared days ago, I modified it to fit our recent chat session, in the letter I never placed any blame on her but rather on myself for following my heart and not my head these last 20 months, that I jumped into it way too fast without really knowing one another.. She wrote back and thanked me, then later today she expressed that I made the right decision and how thankful she was for everything I've done for her and her daughter, that I'm a real man.. She wants me to be that father figure to her daughter, because her daughters been rejected twice, blood father and step, naturally I agreed to that.  What she's most upset and worried about is the embarrassment of it all, I met her Mother, friends and bonded with her daughter.. She doesn't want to tell them any of them, and asked that I remain silent about it, that she would tell them in due time... She also wrote that if I change my mind, she wont hold this against me.

In the letter I wrote that I would continue to send 1K a month for the next 2 months allowing her time to find work, I thought if I told her 3 months she would be a lot more lax at finding work, if extends past 2 then I'd send her a 3rd. I did incorporate many of the suggestions I've read in this thread, it helped me a great deal and I'm very appreciative to all of you who contributed. Thank you!

Nick

Online BillyB

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #103 on: September 19, 2018, 08:28:09 PM »

I'm glad to hear the breakup wasn't ugly and she even thank you for ending it like a gentleman.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Online msmob

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #104 on: September 19, 2018, 11:04:55 PM »
I'm glad to hear the breakup wasn't ugly and she even thank you for ending it like a gentleman.

Yes, BillyB - women threaten to hang themselves every time we break up with them ...

The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Online MarinaSirena

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #105 on: September 19, 2018, 11:19:29 PM »
Update;

I broke it off last night.. While we were messaging, the subject came out about our differences on the trip and I used the opportunity to express how incompatible and indifferent we are and that it would never work, She was quite angry and hurt, she wrote that she would hang herself, it scared me a little and then I thought it could be a guilt trip, The next day I sent her a letter that I had prepared days ago, I modified it to fit our recent chat session, in the letter I never placed any blame on her but rather on myself for following my heart and not my head these last 20 months, that I jumped into it way too fast without really knowing one another.. She wrote back and thanked me, then later today she expressed that I made the right decision and how thankful she was for everything I've done for her and her daughter, that I'm a real man.. She wants me to be that father figure to her daughter, because her daughters been rejected twice, blood father and step, naturally I agreed to that.  What she's most upset and worried about is the embarrassment of it all, I met her Mother, friends and bonded with her daughter.. She doesn't want to tell them any of them, and asked that I remain silent about it, that she would tell them in due time... She also wrote that if I change my mind, she wont hold this against me.

In the letter I wrote that I would continue to send 1K a month for the next 2 months allowing her time to find work, I thought if I told her 3 months she would be a lot more lax at finding work, if extends past 2 then I'd send her a 3rd. I did incorporate many of the suggestions I've read in this thread, it helped me a great deal and I'm very appreciative to all of you who contributed. Thank you!

Nick

thanks for sharing your story!
i think that you did your best!
You are very polite, gentle and empathetic person!
Wish you the best on your way!

Offline JayH

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #106 on: September 19, 2018, 11:54:10 PM »
thanks for sharing your story!
i think that you did your best!
You are very polite, gentle and empathetic person!
Wish you the best on your way!

I agree with all that !
I have resisted commenting  in thread but read all comments -- and agree with many on both sides of the ledger !
One of the most difficult issues in every circumstance is for her dealing with family and friends . Too many guys seem to think they should be integrated prematurely into her world -- something I think very wrong fundamentally.( not suggesting that it was premature here)
Meeting children-- and particularly growing close is  a complication   not needed by either party . The priority should be the strength of the he/she relationship -- and that does not take 5 minutes.
The lady here deserves praise  too--  easy to understand initial anger  but it passed quickly and she started thinking with her head and behaved as a lady.Nice !
Nick -- you are a gentleman -- it is obvious reading all this that you did not find it easy and thought of her feelings and not just yours.
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline Nikolos

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #107 on: October 07, 2018, 01:13:05 AM »
I want to thank all of you again for your input and kind words, I try to do the right thing, although many will disagree on what the right thing is, trying to make it right is what matters... 

A little update; Natasha wrote and informed she was able to get her old job back, but it will start the first week in January, she asked if I would extend payments to the end of the year and I agreed, I intended for 3 months anyway so it worked out.. She still writes and will ask if theirs any chance of it working out, told her no and that we both should move on with our lives... To avoid embarrassment, she told her friends and family the Visa was denied, which I think was a good idea on her part, they don't have to know the details.

On another note, I've been dating somebody new the last couple weeks, met her on Eharmony and she lives 20 minutes away, the chemistry is all there, she a lot like me in many ways, except her personality is far better than mine, She has a good job and is well established, A few years older than me, but it doesn't matter, the attraction is there... The funny part is, she's Ukrainian, born and raised in Chicago.. I told her about my 3 long distance relationships with Russian women, explained the reasons why they didn't work out, she said I should have looked for a Ukrainian girl from the start. :)))  From talking to both, the animosity between Ukrainians and Russians runs very deep.


       

Online msmob

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #108 on: October 07, 2018, 08:05:43 AM »
From talking to both, the animosity between Ukrainians and Russians runs very deep.

   

Then they are BOTH letting the acts of respective 'govts' let their clear thought processes become 'faulty'

The internet, in the end, was not designed to give people the information they need. It gives people the information they want.

Online tfcrew

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #109 on: October 07, 2018, 09:52:55 AM »
  From talking to both, the animosity between Ukrainians and Russians runs very deep.
Close but no cigar---
Ukraine: How Deep Are the Divisions between East and West?
http://www.eastbook.eu/en/2014/03/05/the-depth-of-ukrainian-divisions-between-east-and-west/
 
 

     Be sure and read the comments.....
 
 

Online BillyB

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #110 on: October 07, 2018, 10:02:37 AM »
I told her about my 3 long distance relationships with Russian women, explained the reasons why they didn't work out, she said I should have looked for a Ukrainian girl from the start.
     

Don't talk too much about past relationships. Some women may hold it against you if not now, in the future. Those relationships being over are supposed to be over.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Online Maxx2

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #111 on: October 07, 2018, 11:38:52 AM »
Glad things are working out for you.

Online tfcrew

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Re: How do I end relationship with my fiancée?
« Reply #112 on: October 07, 2018, 12:49:51 PM »
Don't talk too much about past relationships. Some women may hold it against you if not now, in the future. Those relationships being over are supposed to be over.
Spot on...however---
Assume that they will [any of them] hold it against you ...like right away.
That is anybody from anywhere.

 

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