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Author Topic: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone  (Read 3994 times)

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Offline Boethius

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #25 on: January 03, 2019, 04:01:47 AM »
If I were to guess at what happened, I would assume your current lady told her son to show you the phone.  This is a very typical FSUW move.  WM are, generally, too stupid (no offense intended) to put 2 and 2 together, to figure out they are being manipulated.  FSUM can fall for this too, but they usually wise up by age 40.

What did her mother do for a living in Soviet times?  If your lady is still communicating with the other guy and the mother knows, that could explain her reaction to you.

What would I do in your situation?  I always rely on my intuition.  Your gut will tell you the right thing to do, if you slow down and listen without outside distraction.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2019, 04:05:29 AM by Boethius »
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Offline rwd123

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #26 on: January 03, 2019, 04:28:15 AM »
Trust your intuition. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck - then it is probably a duck.

Hah! Seems like Beothius beat me to the punch. I don't think my intuition has ever let me down, though haven't been smart enough to always listen to it.

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #27 on: January 03, 2019, 04:28:24 AM »
I know the mother met the other guy.  What troubles me is the lies.  I was told this guy had not been communicated with since summer.  My gut feeling is as soon as I'm out of the apartment gf will be back in communication with the other guy with some cover story as to why quiet for 2.5 weeks.  She just replied to his texts with a heart.  A quick response instead of texting in front of me. Suddenly I feel like I'm living with a real player.

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #28 on: January 03, 2019, 04:31:46 AM »
As to phone.  I was home alone with gf son while g f drove mother home.  She left him playing with her phone.

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #29 on: January 03, 2019, 07:16:40 AM »
I know the mother met the other guy.  What troubles me is the lies.  I was told this guy had not been communicated with since summer.  My gut feeling is as soon as I'm out of the apartment gf will be back in communication with the other guy with some cover story as to why quiet for 2.5 weeks.  She just replied to his texts with a heart.  A quick response instead of texting in front of me. Suddenly I feel like I'm living with a real player.
Keeping her options open, more like. Doesnít excuse her lying to you, of course.
If I were you I would end it now. Why drag it on knowing what you know.
If you carry on as if everything is normal and sleep with her (which I assume you are) but with the intention of dumping after returning to the UK that would be very deceitful.
Let her go.

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #30 on: January 03, 2019, 07:19:00 AM »
There's that whooshing sound ( again )  of irony...passing right over your head ;)
You know all about that, donít you?

Online msmob

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #31 on: January 03, 2019, 07:27:00 AM »
In the context of JG, naturally!

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #32 on: January 03, 2019, 07:32:29 AM »
In the context of JG, naturally!
Classic Mobyspeak 😂

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #33 on: January 03, 2019, 07:58:42 AM »
This is an interesting thread James, it kind of shows the sort of dilemmas that can occur when meeting a new girl in the FSU/Ukraine. Many guys think it all goes smoothly and sometimes it does. They laugh at those experiencing issues without realising that it's not the fault of the guy who has been landed in such a situation not of their wishing. I don't blame you for looking at her phone as it was not a direct action on your part. It your cad it would be silly not to look at what was brought to you and it's given you a different dimension to this girl.

On this occasion I think JG is right in that she us likely to pick up communication more with other guy after you have left. If you leave any discussion of it till after you leave the relationship is very likely to end over the Internet. Communication over the Internet about problems tends to make the problems worse I think. The anger and distrust build and you're not got that personal realness with each other.

I'm not sure whether bringing it up while you are there would help solve it at all anyway. She could give you a load of BS, you could ask her to choose between the two of you and ask her to text him to end it with you watching. Might work but she might pick up again with him or another guy after you've left. At the moment she is looking a tricky one to continue a relationship with. From the girl I was with last year questions over whether I could trust her kept coming up and going and it tends to knaw away at a relationship so isnt a great position to be in.

I think it's will probably be difficult mentally to wait out the time with her even if it is to check her phone at a later date for messages/calls. Unless of course you detach yourself mentally from her and just use her for sex. Some guys can do that but I find the more I distrust a girl the harder that is.

Considering you have the next week free if you dump the girl that could give you time to meet other girls out there. I believe you said you are in Kiev so you'll need alternative accommodation. I find Hotel Ukraine pretty good of Maiden Square in cental Kiev. It's a huge hotel and usually pretty decent price ecentre more so in thd winter though watch out for the Christmas period there. With the present girl though I'm not sure it's a goer anymore. Like I say bringing it up could prolong a relationship where the trust us no longer there so you may just want to make your excuses (business calls or something) and leave.

By any chance is the girl you're with particularly hot?

Online SteveInBoston

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #34 on: January 03, 2019, 08:37:01 AM »
Ok call me bad.  Hopefully my real I d will never come to light and I'm posting to help wake up others and get some advice for myself.  I read enough by scrolling back about 3 weeks to know they met in Dubai about 6 months ago and it was sexual and a few other holidays.  Now she told me this relationship ended summer 18 we got together october.  His present texts are asking to meet January February march.  From what I can tell they had a phone call the day before I arrived and she has not picked up a lot of call while I've been here.  I arrive back UK 13 January.  My present plan live life Ukraine as normal and end the relationship when back in UK.  There had been talk of marriage and relocating and me supporting her as she retrained I now realise maybe even this was a red flag.  Strangely looking at her phone caused me to end a 21 year marriage and the next 3 year relationship because I was being 2 timed.  So what would you do ?

It seems if anyone is being cheated on, it's the other guy?  You are with her after their relationship, and with her now.  Perhaps he didn't commit to anything with her, and that is why she has hooked up with you?  You mentioned talk of marriage - did she bring it up or did you?  And if she did and you were non-committal, she might be following up again with him.  You have the details.  If she's the one for you, then talk things over with her.  If she's not, then you guys had a good time together this winter.


Online Nightwish

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #35 on: January 03, 2019, 08:45:36 AM »
This is an interesting thread James, it kind of shows the sort of dilemmas that can occur when meeting a new girl in the FSU/Ukraine. Many guys think it all goes smoothly and sometimes it does. They laugh at those experiencing issues without realising that it's not the fault of the guy who has been landed in such a situation not of their wishing. I don't blame you for looking at her phone as it was not a direct action on your part. It your cad it would be silly not to look at what was brought to you and it's given you a different dimension to this girl.

On this occasion I think JG is right in that she us likely to pick up communication more with other guy after you have left. If you leave any discussion of it till after you leave the relationship is very likely to end over the Internet. Communication over the Internet about problems tends to make the problems worse I think. The anger and distrust build and you're not got that personal realness with each other.

I'm not sure whether bringing it up while you are there would help solve it at all anyway. She could give you a load of BS, you could ask her to choose between the two of you and ask her to text him to end it with you watching. Might work but she might pick up again with him or another guy after you've left. At the moment she is looking a tricky one to continue a relationship with. From the girl I was with last year questions over whether I could trust her kept coming up and going and it tends to knaw away at a relationship so isnt a great position to be in.

I think it's will probably be difficult mentally to wait out the time with her even if it is to check her phone at a later date for messages/calls. Unless of course you detach yourself mentally from her and just use her for sex. Some guys can do that but I find the more I distrust a girl the harder that is.

Considering you have the next week free if you dump the girl that could give you time to meet other girls out there. I believe you said you are in Kiev so you'll need alternative accommodation. I find Hotel Ukraine pretty good of Maiden Square in cental Kiev. It's a huge hotel and usually pretty decent price ecentre more so in thd winter though watch out for the Christmas period there. With the present girl though I'm not sure it's a goer anymore. Like I say bringing it up could prolong a relationship where the trust us no longer there so you may just want to make your excuses (business calls or something) and leave.

By any chance is the girl you're with particularly hot?

to the entire post  :cluebat: :wallbash: :cluebat: :wallbash:

to the highlighted: The ONLY girl you ever "been with" (the only girl you ever have been with at all I think) and base your whole experience on when it comes to dating in FSU - you really should shut the f*ck up as clueless as you are.

and what the hell does her looks have anything to do with this?


Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #36 on: January 03, 2019, 09:23:23 AM »
to the entire post  :cluebat: :wallbash: :cluebat: :wallbash:

to the highlighted: The ONLY girl you ever "been with" (the only girl you ever have been with at all I think) and base your whole experience on when it comes to dating in FSU - you really should shut the f*ck up as clueless as you are.

and what the hell does her looks have anything to do with this?
You donít beat about the bush, do you? 😃

Offline Boethius

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #37 on: January 03, 2019, 09:39:00 AM »
By any chance is the girl you're with particularly hot?


Absolutely irrelevant.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #38 on: January 03, 2019, 09:51:27 AM »

Absolutely irrelevant.


This post was composed without the aid of google.

If she's particularly hot looking she could be like a magnet for men. I know James said she was 38 but many FSW can still look hot and youngish at that age.

My thoughts are also that women in their thirties with kids may be more risky than women in their twenties as they may tend to be more confident in manipulating men. They have far more experience under their belt and will be less nieve than a lot of younger girls and know how to handle themselves. So they may try and play a dating situation more where a lot of younger girls won't probably wish to chance the risk of messing up a chance to get out of their often bad situation.

Take that guy who met a women in her late thirties of EM on the film documentary 'love me'.

Online Nightwish

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #39 on: January 03, 2019, 09:52:55 AM »
You donít beat about the bush, do you? 😃

I have no problems with Trench asking questions or relying his lack of experience, he even has his own thread for it, but he needs to poison every single thread here with his nonsense, clueless nonsense. Giving advice on things he has NO knowledge about. Only things he thinks, and after meeting one single girl he thinks he knows all about the FSU society - and no, when it comes to useless information and the waste of space when he writes anything - I don't beat around the bush
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #40 on: January 03, 2019, 10:00:42 AM »
Steve makes excellent points. 

There is a saying in Ukraine - Women are like cats - they will go to anyone who pets him.

To play devil's advocate here, who are you to her? She is not yet your wife, you've only been with her 3 months.  Why not tell her you know she is communicating with another man, and what her plans are?  But, don't expect her to be honest.

A Ukrainian perspective would be, "Why should she tell him anything?  Who is he to her?"

Tens of thousands of men, many of them sex tourists, go to Ukraine and promise marriage to women, with no intention of following through.  There are Russian and Ukrainian language sites devoted to exposing sex tourists.  So, look at it from her perspective.  She is sitting on an asset of declining value (her beauty) and wants a life abroad.  Until the deal is sealed, for her, all options must remain open.

This post was composed without the aid of google.


 
« Last Edit: January 03, 2019, 10:10:13 AM by Boethius »
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #41 on: January 03, 2019, 10:01:46 AM »
If she's particularly hot looking she could be like a magnet for men. I know James said she was 38 but many FSW can still look hot and youngish at that age.

My thoughts are also that women in their thirties with kids may be more risky than women in their twenties as they may tend to be more confident in manipulating men. They have far more experience under their belt and will be less nieve than a lot of younger girls and know how to handle themselves. So they may try and play a dating situation more where a lot of younger girls won't probably wish to chance the risk of messing up a chance to get out of their often bad situation.

Take that guy who met a women in her late thirties of EM on the film documentary 'love me'.


Proving yet again you are clueless.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #42 on: January 03, 2019, 10:09:56 AM »
Think it highlights high risk of marriage to import a woman and the benefit of moving in with them in the f s u  to check out the scene. 

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #43 on: January 03, 2019, 10:12:10 AM »
Also a woman can go from a no date situation in her home town to so many offers via the internet.

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #44 on: January 03, 2019, 10:13:52 AM »
Like the cat analogy she is rather like a cat likes a lot of attention and stroking most UK women are far more standoffish or I'm just being played well here

Online Jamesukjames

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #45 on: January 03, 2019, 10:16:00 AM »
With my ex wife 19 years and past gf of 3 years I contacted the other guy but in both cases they united against me so I know that's not a solution. 

Offline Boethius

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #46 on: January 03, 2019, 10:19:41 AM »
Think it highlights high risk of marriage to import a woman and the benefit of moving in with them in the f s u  to check out the scene. 
How is moving in with them a benefit?  Is it that you discovered this?  You know if someone offered her marriage while you are living with her in Ukraine, there is a more than 50% chance she'd dump you to take the marriage offer.

Also a woman can go from a no date situation in her home town to so many offers via the internet.

That is not true.  There are lots of offers for sex.  Not so many for marriage.

Like the cat analogy she is rather like a cat likes a lot of attention and stroking most UK women are far more standoffish or I'm just being played well here

Or, as I posted, she is just hedging her bets.  In 10 days, you'll be gone, and she is alone again, with a precarious future.

With my ex wife 19 years and past gf of 3 years I contacted the other guy but in both cases they united against me so I know that's not a solution. 


It seems you've made up your mind.  If this is accurate, do as John suggested - leave now.  I do think you should tell her why, though.  Not necessarily that you saw her phone, just that you know she is still in communication with another man.  Honestly though, that will perplex her.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online Nightwish

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #47 on: January 03, 2019, 10:22:59 AM »
With my ex wife 19 years and past gf of 3 years I contacted the other guy but in both cases they united against me so I know that's not a solution.

No why would you contact him? He has done nothing wrong, he probably don't even know you exist, why don't you take this up with your girl instead and ask her about it, if you are exclusive now then she would not even hesitate to delete that communication.

but I say this without been in that situation, I never opened pandoras box... I trust my girl 100% and I know she is both being courted online and offline, and she tells me all about it, heck one guy figured out where she lives and came there bringing a huge bouquet of roses and chocolate asking her out - knowing full well - she was in a relationship with me.
She thanked him for the gifts, closed the door, called me on Skype and told me all about it while enjoying the chocolate and smeeling the roses :D :D
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #48 on: January 03, 2019, 10:34:44 AM »
I have no problems with Trench asking questions or relying his lack of experience, he even has his own thread for it, but he needs to poison every single thread here with his nonsense, clueless nonsense. Giving advice on things he has NO knowledge about. Only things he thinks, and after meeting one single girl he thinks he knows all about the FSU society - and no, when it comes to useless information and the waste of space when he writes anything - I don't beat around the bush
Thatís not quite true. Trench has his bible, Bang Ukraine, by that esteemed personality, Roosh, which informs his perspective.

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Re: Ever had a chance to look through her unlocked phone
« Reply #49 on: January 03, 2019, 10:41:17 AM »
With my ex wife 19 years and past gf of 3 years I contacted the other guy but in both cases they united against me so I know that's not a solution.
Why would you want to do that? The issue is with your gf. Without knowing much about your history with this girl itís a bit difficult to give an opinion on the probable nature of the relationship. However, if there has been a commitment made after which she has been communicating with her former fb then you need to extricate yourself without any further delay.


 

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