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Author Topic: Did I Screw Up?  (Read 87255 times)

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Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #175 on: September 28, 2019, 02:53:02 PM »
This is interesting. You say a woman's shelf life. What does this mean?

You are saying a woman loses interest after 1 day when someone tells her no? This is a pretty cynical view.

How do you know we didn't have a relationship. What is the specific time period of face to face contact before it is a relationship?


Offline Boethius

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #176 on: September 28, 2019, 03:01:21 PM »
You have to live together minimum a year before you know each other, IMHO.  Anyone can put up a facade for a period, but the mask will slip if parties are living together.

IMHO, a relationship exists when you can trust a person with your soul.  You have to know the person, and knowing a person takes time. 

Shelf life  - not evident?  The period during which a woman is still sexually desirable to a man.  In the FSUW market, that period is relatively short.

Also, why were you on the dating site?  Couldn't she make the same pronouncement about you?

This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2019, 03:25:10 PM by Boethius »
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #177 on: September 28, 2019, 03:08:08 PM »
"A wonderful test that my friend told me and I will be using this in the future. Is to see what she does when you say no."

oh, what a MIGHTY little "pearl of wisdom" that is!!!
HIGHLY impressed that a first timer learned this...
this is WHY I am optimistic about you, while being pessimistic towards so many others who have come here!!!

so what's your next move?
what are your thoughts about the future?
I really hope you don't abandon your quest!!!

on one hand, you've SEEN what's in Ukraine (yummy!)
on the other, you just had your first scammer
but NOW you know the territory MUCH better than you did before!!!

so this experience dramatically increasees your chances for success - NEXT TIME!
don't throw this hard earned experience away, because then it would be a waste
instead of simply being a stepping stone to success

you coulda built a house out of all my stepping stones!!!

chin up!!
foot in the stirrup!
this feelin will pass

and then lo and behold
look what you find!!
anticipate THIS!!!


I have a sense that you're a pretty smart guy
but you have a lot to learn about "living in the jungle" over there
and you just got your first lesson...

the journey is also part of the reward
Ukraine is an amazing place to experience
and you seem like a guy who will be smart enuff to learn all he needs to learn to survive there...
you just need to decide if that's what ya wanna do vrs some other choice...

Thanks for the perspective.

It has been a good ride even with all of the lumps along the way.

I will probably get back into it down the road.

I have certainly learned a few things.

I don't know though. Evidently it takes only one slip and one day and then an FSUW is gone. lol

Offline jone

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #178 on: September 28, 2019, 03:22:00 PM »
Am I correct in understanding that this (former) relationship is no more?  What was the final disposition?   Was there closure or just 'I'm not calling her anymore'?
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #179 on: September 28, 2019, 03:31:46 PM »
I have pretty much told everything in the posts yesterday and today.

But according to some, there was no relationship.

From her side, she is not really communicating with me. I am not going to go begging to her.

I wanted to have a mature conversation about it but it takes two people to communicate.

Offline jone

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #180 on: September 28, 2019, 03:50:40 PM »
This is not unusual.   Whether this woman was a scammer (I rather doubt it) or whether she had expectations of 'her man' that she did not see realized, you will probably never know.   Some women have expectations of a man that are not articulated because they are based on him spending and giving money to the woman.  Absent that cash flow, in her mind you are 'greedy' and therefore not acceptable as a spouse.   

In my experience, I have found that the younger they are, the more likely that is to occur.  When I was dating in Russia and Ukraine, I would not think twice about giving the woman money and have her budget our expenses.   It was a good way to ascertain how our future life would be together.   

I have not dated excessively, as I am a WOVO type guy, even though I always had some type of backup plans.  So the object of my affections would know in advance that I would lay some cash on her but that it was her job to budget it for our expenses ... because she knew more than I did about life in Eastern Europe.   But these women are pretty sharp.   In each case, the woman knew that I was testing her and was a good steward of our funds.

The two things that stand out from this endeavor are as follows:

1.  You're travelling thousands of miles for what, essentially, is a blind date.  That is the primary reason guys do the WMVM course.   We have guys on here who swear by it.  Read ML's philosophies and you'll have a good picture of it.

2.  The other thing that stands out is that a woman is giving up EVERYTHING to be with 'her man'.   So you better be able to perform or you will be roadkill before you can say do svidaniya.   

My personal belief is that she had a personal gauge of how her man should perform for her and you did not meet those expectations, whether those expectations were expressed or not, or whether they were fair to you, or not.

As many have alluded to, it is relatively easy to get back on the horse.   The greatest loss of a failed relationship is the time expended on it.    Don't get into the trap of mourning one that didn't work out.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #181 on: September 28, 2019, 04:07:32 PM »
This is not unusual.   Whether this woman was a scammer (I rather doubt it) or whether she had expectations of 'her man' that she did not see realized, you will probably never know.   Some women have expectations of a man that are not articulated because they are based on him spending and giving money to the woman.  Absent that cash flow, in her mind you are 'greedy' and therefore not acceptable as a spouse.   

In my experience, I have found that the younger they are, the more likely that is to occur.  When I was dating in Russia and Ukraine, I would not think twice about giving the woman money and have her budget our expenses.   It was a good way to ascertain how our future life would be together.   

I have not dated excessively, as I am a WOVO type guy, even though I always had some type of backup plans.  So the object of my affections would know in advance that I would lay some cash on her but that it was her job to budget it for our expenses ... because she knew more than I did about life in Eastern Europe.   But these women are pretty sharp.   In each case, the woman knew that I was testing her and was a good steward of our funds.

The two things that stand out from this endeavor are as follows:

1.  You're travelling thousands of miles for what, essentially, is a blind date.  That is the primary reason guys do the WMVM course.   We have guys on here who swear by it.  Read ML's philosophies and you'll have a good picture of it.

2.  The other thing that stands out is that a woman is giving up EVERYTHING to be with 'her man'.   So you better be able to perform or you will be roadkill before you can say do svidaniya.   

My personal belief is that she had a personal gauge of how her man should perform for her and you did not meet those expectations, whether those expectations were expressed or not, or whether they were fair to you, or not.

As many have alluded to, it is relatively easy to get back on the horse.   The greatest loss of a failed relationship is the time expended on it.    Don't get into the trap of mourning one that didn't work out.


Thanks Jone

I think the number of lies I have uncovered make her a person of bad character at best and a scammer. Where is the line? I don't know.

You make some interesting comments. How do you do a backup plan? Are you in conversations with other women as you visit the one?

Were you finding them via online? Or some other method?

Also, this idea of giving them an allowance and they are responsible. Does this mean you travel to visit them hand them some money and that is what you both have for the time you are there? How does this work? How far along are you into the relationship before you do this?

I am not quitting. Just have to reassess a little bit.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2019, 04:13:53 PM by scarface816 »

Online krimster2

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #182 on: September 28, 2019, 04:32:13 PM »
my man, listen up!

I've known my wife nearly 20 years!
do you know how many times she's lied to me?
ZERO!!!

catching a lie is a DEAD GIVE AWAY AND A DEAL BREAKER!!!!
even if she was a scammer that was a little bit into you
she's still a scammer


all relationships are based on trust
you can never trust someone who lies to you

the problem is a lot of the sites accessible to you are heavily populated by scammers
so if you go to these places you need to be a top notch scam detector, (and asking for money is 'top 'o the list!)
OR
GO TO DIFFERENT PLACES

I swear to you, if you could draw or sketch, Russian wimmin will be easy picking if you pick a high traffic spot and set up your easel!!






Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #183 on: September 28, 2019, 04:38:29 PM »
I agree lying is a deal-breaker and a sure sign of a scammer. No argument there.

What other places do you recommend besides online dating sites? I looked at Mamba but they seemed to be almost fruitless if you don't know Russian.

Where else would you go? Short of setting up a website over there which we talked about.

I am also considering setting up shop living in one of the cities for an extended period of time. But I have to get my business in the right place for that.

As far as sketching I can draw stick figures. But I don't think that will cut it.

Online krimster2

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #184 on: September 28, 2019, 05:22:49 PM »
it's a real conundrum!!
but the easily accessible sites, Mamba, fdate, agencies, etc
will ALL be heavily infiltrated by scammers
this is the low hanging fruit, easily accessed, will have the most men trying to climb up because it's the easiest
and the barrier to entry is so very low
but the fruit is sometime bitter here
IMHO, avoid this method



it'd really be just a couple of week project for you to hire someone to do your web site in Russian and vk fanpage
and start immediately collecting hundreds of contacts

seriously, this is the only online way that MOSTLY avoids scammers
alternative is go in person

you would have to develop a pickup style
mine is painting and sketching birds in front of a busy park or market
I get a flock of birds alright!!!

simple sketch from Moscva...
birds in the park
I wasn't tryin to pick up anyone and STILL got hits
when I go "all out" and paint a freakin masterpiece in public I can pull a date within an hour easily!
by just painting and smiling at the women when they come to check out what I'm painting!!

 
« Last Edit: September 28, 2019, 05:39:35 PM by krimster2 »

Offline Trenchcoat

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #185 on: September 28, 2019, 06:06:18 PM »
Scarface, I don't think you're girl was a professional Scammer. Pro Scammers tend to be on the ask all the time. They will ask the high amounts your girl did but it will tend to be more frequent. I think your girl was a liar though and some of the demands she made were scams even though I don't think was really to be a professional scammer. I think she lost respect for you as time went on as you gave in.

I think your big crucial error though was to stand outside the shops when she went in. This would have told her that you hold in a very derogatory way. This probably made her first lose respect for you and could have alienated her towards you. I would have gone in, as you found our she hit you with the shoes demand anyway so you gained nothing by standing outside except set a bad tone for the relationship. Even if she hit you with a demand in the shop then you could have refused and there is nothing she could do.

I've learnt that giving into a demand from a FSW is almost certainly going to result in the destruction of the relationship and as such is contrary to my interests. The women tend to act worse as time goes on as they lose more respect for you. It's either a case of get the girl straightened out first of all if possible or it's a no go. Whatever bs they come out with it's just not worth giving into her.
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Offline Davo

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #186 on: September 28, 2019, 06:23:00 PM »
I agree lying is a deal-breaker and a sure sign of a scammer. No argument there.

What other places do you recommend besides online dating sites? I looked at Mamba but they seemed to be almost fruitless if you don't know Russian.

Where else would you go? Short of setting up a website over there which we talked about.

I am also considering setting up shop living in one of the cities for an extended period of time. But I have to get my business in the right place for that.

As far as sketching I can draw stick figures. But I don't think that will cut it.

I pulled the pin with a women from Russia a few months ago, but not because of your issue.  We got on great, she earns good money and always protected my wallet. It took a while for her to open about this.....Her ex and ex in-laws put a lot of pressure on her regarding taking their daughter out of the country and threatened to pull the extra financial support for their children, if she didn’t end it (He makes 100k US). Their son studies at an expensive Uni in Moscow.

I’ve used fdating and dmnotify over the last few years and as long as you’re  realistic regarding their age you will meet very few scammers.... .The ones asking for money before you even meet. A month ago on fdating, I met 5 genuine women (on face value) in a matter of days. If you’ve used POF etc... locally you’ll probably experience just as many scammers.

The problem with cold approaches is you don’t know the language like Krim and just finding a woman who speaks English could be an issue, let alone one willing to leave everything behind and move overseas with a stranger. Saying that it is possible....  I think. It took me up to 5 approaches on several occasions, just to find a woman in the supermarket who could converse with and help me find ingredients.

One women took me by the arm and was pretty flirty, I could see she was interested as she walked with me part way back to
My apartment and another day a woman closed her stall
in an open air market (I was trying to find Russian dolls) and invited me across the street for borscht at her favourite cafe. She was very interested about life in Australia. This might have been just luck and a little to do with being from down under. They seem to have a fascination with OZ. 

So I’m back dating at home now and seeing my first GF who I met after my divorce, casually, but planning another trip next year. I’ve cut contact with the women on fdating atm, and chatting with one women I contacted through friends I met in Russia the last night I was there. I think my friendship with this couple (we chat weekly) is going to be just as promising as online, in regards to  meeting their single female friends and even her single sister has offered to spend some time showing me around Moscow on my next trip.

I’m going to try meet a handful of women, so a few months out I’ll get back on fdating. Search for women between 35 & 43 with children (I have a big house and my kids are starting to leave home) and good English skills.

Good luck with your future endeavours...... but I’d suggest keeping your options open at home also.....occasionally you’ll meet women as exceptional as FSU women locally, despite others issues with dating at home.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2019, 07:40:43 PM by Davo »

Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #187 on: September 28, 2019, 06:50:41 PM »
Interesting point Trench about losing respect. I think this plays into what I was saying about saying no to her early in the interaction as being a necessary test of the possibility of us moving forward.

Davo Thanks for the comments. It is funny but those are the two sites that I have been using so far. And I did meet many good candidates and very few I would consider scammers. Dmnotify actually has a voluntary flag for women that are looking for sponsors and many women use it. It is funny but the flag is an outstretched palm, how ironic. Many of them don't and prefer to stealth it. I eventually culled out several good women for what I thought was one very good candidate. And she ended up being the subject of this thread. Turns out she was just a bit too Wiley for me and I was not perceptive enough.

I am primarily looking in that same age range also. One of the things I noticed about dmnotify was if you found a new girl that seemed cute and promising. I would save her profile and wait about two days before sending her a message. Usually, the scammers would be found out by them and the admin would have sprung them from the site. Saving me the trouble of dealing with a waste of time and effort.

Another thing I did to deal with screening scammers is you could not accuse them of being a scammer or even ask them about it because they would be "offended". So what I would do is first ask them what they thought of the site. They would give their opinion and then ask me what I thought.

I would say it's ok, but there seems to be a lot of women asking me to send them money. They would either not comment or they would say they were ashamed to hear their fellow countrymen doing such awful things and that it was an embarrassment. (my girl, by the way, put her hand on her forehead in amazement and said ufff "I cannot believe these women" lol) I would also laugh and say I can't imagine a woman would think I would send her money. If they were gone after that it was a good indicator. Did not always work but it helped.

Some still ask for money anyway. Sick this sick that, I am not a real man if I don't send her money, why would she want to date me if I cannot send her money.

Like I said it did not always work.

Offline BillyB

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #188 on: September 28, 2019, 06:58:43 PM »
I think the number of lies I have uncovered make her a person of bad character at best and a scammer. Where is the line? I don't know.


She's a sweet educated Ukrainian woman.

She never told you a lie.

You've built a strong relationship with her and made her your fiancée.

She's a wonderfully pleasant and interesting woman.

She's very traditional and respect men and women's roles.

She always talks about family and is family oriented.

She never says a bad word about anyone.

All this time I've been giving you advice on how to handle this woman based on what you said of her above. She's a wonderful woman that you want as your wife. Now you rule she's a bad person/scammer. Did she change overnight? Of course not. She never changed. You either failed to read her correctly in the past and/or you're failing to read her correctly now. The bottom line is you failed to read her sometimes or all the time. If you fail to read a person or situation, you impair your ability to judge well and make good decisions. We can't properly help you  if we don't have a good understanding of the type of person you're dealing with.

Someone commented on her going back onto the dating site repeatedly and only one day after I told her no to the $950. The comment was something like "this is normal given what had transpired." What had transpired? I told her no and she immediately goes and looks for another man? Not an attempt to either contact me or barely respond when I contact her. Is this how you deal with a problem in a relationship?


No, she's not looking for a new man over one incident. Relationships usually die slowly based on a number of things. She suspected you being stingy and lack trust from the beginning. Your behavior has always been in question. You question her behavior on how she deals with a problem yet when she asked if you could buy her $40 shoes, you put her in a cab, sent her home, went to your room, made a call to change your plane tickets and flew home next morning cutting your trip and meeting with her short.

She's been turned off by some of your actions and reactions to certain situations and requests. Probably thinks you're stingy and not capable of taking care of a wife and family. And to think, you haven't even introduced the prenup you want her to sign into the equation yet.

A wonderful test that my friend told me and I will be using this in the future. Is to see what she does when you say no.

I probably won't use such a big thing as this to say no. But what does she do after you say no? Does she get sick? Does she try to punish you with silence or recrimination? Does she immediately start looking for another relationship or something to escalate the issue into a bigger thing?


You both are engaged to each other. You both should be past the testing phase. If you are going to test, you should be happy when she tests you. "trust but verify", right? I told guys who said their girl wanted them to buy them $400 shoes to dump the girl. Your girl wanted $40 shoes and you've had many good things to say about her. That's why I wasn't concerned. Also, if she were a scammer, she'd go for big dollar items, not $40 shoes.

I was the only one actually doing anything.  I look back on this adventure and I cannot tell you one time where she actually did anything for me. A small gift on my birthday, or cook a meal or make something. Anything. All actions invested in the relationship were by me. This is very telling and a blindspot I missed.


You want her to cook a meal for you but on the second meeting you invited her to a romantic vacation in Europe. If you want a homecooked meal, you certainly didn't increase your chances to get that so you shouldn't be complaining. You don't remember her doing one thing for you but I remember. She made out with you lots of times. She gave you mind blowing amazing sex. She lost income when she took time off work for both your meetings. She dresses to the nines everywhere she goes with you. It takes her a lot of time to make sure you got eye candy on your arm everywhere you go. She spends 5 days a week skyping with you. After your second meeting, when you two do talk, it's about what you both want to do  to each other sexually. Doesn't that float your boat? She was ready to leave her friends, family, and life behind to be your wife. But your final conclusion of her is that she's done nothing for you and has bad character.

I wonder if I told her I changed my mind and will send her the $950 she would change her attitude?


An immature man would ask that question. Remember, it was you who recommended she quit her job and partner up with her friend which it takes money to do. Women over there want to see how their men think. Their MAN is supposed to come up with solutions and make the right decisions. You made a decision that she should get into the business with her friend. The move to get involved in a business only strengthens the reasons she needs to stay in Ukraine. What you should have recommended is a solution that prepares her for a life with you by cutting ties and commitments she has with anyone or anything.

There was another question about the $950 and it being more than rent and being for other business expenses. I asked her about this. She was adamant that it was only rent and that was the only expense. Which probably leads to another and bigger lie. Even in the most basic self-employed work you have other expenses. And she never mentioned these or seemed to be cognizant of these. I talked about marketing activities to get customers (one of the biggest challenges to any business) and other things and she seemed to not have much to say or be very interested.


I own a business and if anyone wants me to make them an equal partner, they need to be paying more than half the rent if they want half the profits. They would need to invest enough money to pay for half the assets I've already paid for or make large monthly payments higher than the cost of rent.

When I wrote about my dating experiences which led to meeting my wife, I described my wife in detail here. Her behavior with me was exactly of a family oriented person. But some people thought she was using me and would never marry me. After she agreed to marry me, some people thought she was a green card girl and will leave me after coming to America. When that did happen, they predicted she will leave when she gets citizenship. Then they predicted she will leave after she brings her mom to America. All that has happened since I got married to her in 2011 and she's hasn't left yet. I gave everybody here an honest and accurate account of her behavior which is the behavior of a good person and some people thought she was a bad person. Those people have a poor understanding of who is good and bad.  Your accounts of your fiancée's behavior and character are inconsistent. She's never changed who she was. You may be throwing away a good or bad woman. I don't know but I do know if you continue to fail at getting a good read on people, you will greatly increase your chances for more failed relationships.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #189 on: September 28, 2019, 07:16:05 PM »
Well, I can't deal with all of the inaccuracies and assumptions you have made. As I discovered her lying and deception are what changed my opinion.

I trusted her and she betrayed that trust.

I can only give you a good read on what I know. That changed when I learned more details about her lying and deception.

What I thought I had and what I actually had was one of the reasons for starting this thread. And through the input of many people on here, I did learn some things.

But it is not so cut an dried like you want to pronounce it to be.

Offline JayH

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #190 on: September 28, 2019, 07:34:39 PM »
Well, I can't deal with all of the inaccuracies and assumptions you have made. As I discovered her lying and deception are what changed my opinion.

I trusted her and she betrayed that trust.

I can only give you a good read on what I know. That changed when I learned more details about her lying and deception.

What I thought I had and what I actually had was one of the reasons for starting this thread. And through the input of many people on here, I did learn some things.

But it is not so cut an dried like you want to pronounce it to be.

Scar---    if you read forum you will see I have no problem in expressing my own views -- and in the case of BillyB I have pretty much called him everything under the sun -- except sensible !
Well --that day has come -BillyB post above and throughout this thread has gone into detail ( obviously with some thought and effort) and are very sensible posts .
He raises real potential issues for her -particularly re her business etc --issues that anyone in a business themselves would think of.
I asked earlier how important $10K  is to you -- it seems very very important. Your whole exercise will have barely cost you that -- and as BillyB rightly points out -- fact is you got hung up over a $40 pair of shoes.It makes no sense.

It seems the thread came after you had ditched her and you wanted vindication and applause.
This is def a case where I would love to hear what she has to say ! You never know !  :)
SLAVA UKRAYINI  ! HEROYAM SLAVA!!!!
Слава Украине! Слава героям слава!Слава Україні! Слава героям!
 translated as: Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the heroes!!!  is a Ukrainian greeting slogan being used now all over Ukraine to signify support for a free independent Ukraine

Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #191 on: September 28, 2019, 07:44:52 PM »
Jay you have it all wrong. I never have until this day ditched her. She is the one that stopped talking to me. After a few attempts on my part.

She is the one that told me that everything is fine and then went on a dating site repeatedly.

Many of the things that Billy said are factually incorrect. And both of you seem to completely ignore her many lies and deceptions.

And as I said ad nausem it is not the money it is the trust and the lying.

I never looked for vindication and applause in fact the title of my thread was "Did I screw up?"

And the $40 pair of shoes I know I messed up on that I said so in the very first post.

You will also notice that as I looked into this further and I cannot be certain I do not believe she has a business at all. That was a scam to extract money from me.

I explained this also.

I would also love to hear what she has to say. But how am I supposed to find that out? What do you suggest I do? Force her to respond to my texts and calls?

Offline BillyB

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #192 on: September 28, 2019, 08:01:36 PM »
Well, I can't deal with all of the inaccuracies and assumptions you have made. As I discovered her lying and deception are what changed my opinion.


Everything I said about your fiancée and your actions are based off what you wrote. Most of the praise you had for her was in post #1. Any inaccuracies and assumptions would be yours, not mine.


I can only give you a good read on what I know. That changed when I learned more details about her lying and deception.


Okay, lets go over some of the new revelations based off your detective work.

Next, I want to say that I have discovered a few other things since my initial post. And it does shed more light on the entire situation. When I started to hear actual facts about things like health care costs and office rent costs. I then become even more suspicious and of course, I then started to pull on this thread. I looked at her K1 application much more closely and saw a few other things.

It had her place of work address and I found this and it is not in the city center and it is not a very nice office building. In fact, it is not an office building at all. Although it may have office space inside. Anyone looking at this building would not pay $1900 for a single office or even $900, maybe $300. So this is another fact.

In many instances, buildings in the FSU look run down outside and in the hallways but inside apartments and offices, it's looking very nice and upscale. If you haven't been in your fiancee's office and evaluated it's size and value, you can't say she's lying. Also, not all office buildings are 100% office buildings. Even in America we have mixed use buildings where stores are at street level and apartments are above.

Then I found her marriage status and it showed her as single never been married not divorced. This was another fact she had never told me. And we talked about her "ex-husband" as well as my ex-wife in our many many hours of personal conversations.

She may have never been married on paper and told the truth on the k-1 documents but she also may have had a man she lived with long term she considered her husband. You think she was sweating and hoping you wouldn't read the k-1 paperwork she filled out because you'd catch her in a deal breaker lie? I don't think so. This isn't a big deal but you're making it out to be one.

Then I also noticed she has now visited the site where we first met.

Earlier in this thread you said the trust issues are all yours. Some women don't have the patience for that and wouldn't have lasted as long as your fiancée. Another good thing about her is she has tolerance.

You will also notice that as I looked into this further and I cannot be certain I do not believe she has a business at all. That was a scam to extract money from me.


You are not certain but you continue to believe she doesn't have a business and she scammed you for money. Remember, it was you who told her to quit her job and enter into business with her friend. In a court of law, if a witness is not certain, a jury will not value the testimony of the events as they describe it. If I ever have to accuse my wife of lying to me, I better be certain instead of making false accusations. Making false accusations ruins the relationship and your relationship is ruined at this moment.

I would also love to hear what she has to say. But how am I supposed to find that out? What do you suggest I do? Force her to respond to my texts and calls?


Why would you want to hear what a person of bad character/scammer has to say? Why would she want to speak to a person that thinks she's of bad character and stealing money? As a child, I remember losing at an arcade game. It said "Game Over"
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #193 on: September 28, 2019, 08:20:12 PM »
I would also love to hear what she has to say. But how am I supposed to find that out? What do you suggest I do? Force her to respond to my texts and calls?

You could send her a link to this thread.  If her English skills are half decent, she may give her side of the story.  It wouldn't be the first time that's happened here.  The interesting thing is, when the woman appears and lays out her perception of what occurred, her story is 180 degrees from his.

This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2019, 08:29:21 PM by Boethius »
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #194 on: September 28, 2019, 08:40:01 PM »
Everything I said about your fiancée and your actions are based off what you wrote. Most of the praise you had for her was in post #1. Any inaccuracies and assumptions would be yours, not mine.


Okay, lets go over some of the new revelations based off your detective work.

Next, I want to say that I have discovered a few other things since my initial post. And it does shed more light on the entire situation. When I started to hear actual facts about things like health care costs and office rent costs. I then become even more suspicious and of course, I then started to pull on this thread. I looked at her K1 application much more closely and saw a few other things.

It had her place of work address and I found this and it is not in the city center and it is not a very nice office building. In fact, it is not an office building at all. Although it may have office space inside. Anyone looking at this building would not pay $1900 for a single office or even $900, maybe $300. So this is another fact.

In many instances, buildings in the FSU look run down outside and in the hallways but inside apartments and offices, it's looking very nice and upscale. If you haven't been in your fiancee's office and evaluated it's size and value, you can't say she's lying. Also, not all office buildings are 100% office buildings. Even in America we have mixed use buildings where stores are at street level and apartments are above.

Then I found her marriage status and it showed her as single never been married not divorced. This was another fact she had never told me. And we talked about her "ex-husband" as well as my ex-wife in our many many hours of personal conversations.

She may have never been married on paper and told the truth on the k-1 documents but she also may have had a man she lived with long term she considered her husband. You think she was sweating and hoping you wouldn't read the k-1 paperwork she filled out because you'd catch her in a deal breaker lie? I don't think so. This isn't a big deal but you're making it out to be one.

Then I also noticed she has now visited the site where we first met.

Earlier in this thread you said the trust issues are all yours. Some women don't have the patience for that and wouldn't have lasted as long as your fiancée. Another good thing about her is she has tolerance.

You are not certain but you continue to believe she doesn't have a business and she scammed you for money. Remember, it was you who told her to quit her job and enter into business with her friend. In a court of law, if a witness is not certain, a jury will not value the testimony of the events as they describe it. If I ever have to accuse my wife of lying to me, I better be certain instead of making false accusations. Making false accusations ruins the relationship and your relationship is ruined at this moment.

Why would you want to hear what a person of bad character/scammer has to say? Why would she want to speak to a person that thinks she's of bad character and stealing money? As a child, I remember losing at an arcade game. It said "Game Over"

All the inaccuracies and assumptions are mine? Because you have a perfect read on this or you didn't its all my fault?

Your treat this like it is some kind of inquisition and you are an attorney in a court of law. You so much as say so. But it is not. It is an incredibly complex situation between two individuals and you think you can boil everything down to your assumptions and conjecture.

I am not going to give you more details about the building in the interest of her anonymity but I can assure you it is not a nice office building.

And I have good reason to believe to she was never in business. And if on the outside chance this building housed some Class A office space which it does not and it certainly would be the last place you would put it. Or are you an expert at commercial real estate in Ukraine about a building you have not seen. Or know nothing of.

We talked about her ex-husband and my ex-wife and our divorces and when she divorced. She told me this I did not question it.

The issue about you making up what she had the patience for. There was never any indication other than the first disagreement about the shoes that there was a problem between us. So no history here to go on. Just your vivid distorted imagination.

You have no idea about my trust issues and what she had the patience for so you are making this up. Me saying I have trust issues is not indicative of my actions. Once again your senility and personal malice get in the way.

Your incessant use of the word may have on this and may have on that indicates clearly that you are full of conjecture and again have an agenda. A common tactic by the media when they want to smear someone and they are just guessing. Pigs may fly also. See how easy that is?

Then you have the leap of logic to start talking about the law talking about false accusations. It takes a real mental gymnast to follow your twisted logic. I never accused her of anything even going back to the original shoe incident. However, you seem happy to accuse me of all kinds of things. All I did is say I was not going to give her the money.

I never told her to quit her job. Another thing you have made up. She was complaining about her job and her boss harassing her and in an attempt to help her I suggested maybe she could work with her friend. The next thing I knew she moved in with her friend and was asking me for money for the first month's rent which I gave her. This was completely her decision. But in your twisted angry mind I told her to quit her job from 8000 miles away and she dutifully did my bidding. Even though she had lost patience with me.


Then you finish for somehow making the leap that her lack of desire to talk to me just because I told her no is also my fault because once again in your crazy word I accused her of being of bad character and a scammer. Which I have never so much as indicated to her. But you, of course, know that I did this.

Do you have any grasp on reality? What color is the sky in your world?
« Last Edit: September 28, 2019, 09:00:05 PM by scarface816 »

Offline ML

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #195 on: September 28, 2019, 08:43:08 PM »
The interesting thing is, when the woman appears and lays out her perception of what occurred, her story is 180 degrees from his.


I have never heard of such a thing !!
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Online krimster2

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #196 on: September 28, 2019, 09:45:15 PM »
children...
I think the problem is NOT with Scarface...
but in Scarface's narrative!

ScarFace is the the victim of a woman who manipulated him purely for her own self interest
so as a result, he will present his case from an emotional injury perspective (which it is, I know exactly how it feels myself and I'm sure I'm not alone on this board with that feeling)
however, the emotional narrative is difficult to process
because it's not a simple easy to follow sequence of lies, extortion, and manipulation
but if you read the story it's there, it's just requires a lot of digging AND processing!!!


scarface...
you've already been coming down from a bum trip..
so it's a shame these folks dnn't show a little empathy to a fellow traveler on life's highway
and stop laying their negative vibes on him, ya'll think he needs that right now?
REMEMBER, the ONLY person's whose OPINION is TRULY important is YOURS


my advice to ya...
after ya thought about it....

from most concerning to least concerning
write down what were the most concerning "RED FLAGS"
then as an exercise, think to yourself...
would you be able to recognize these red flags at an earlier stage next time?

and that's ALL ya REALLY gotta worry about...
these other folks, be trippin man...
above all, to thine own self be true
and let this light inside ALWAYS guide you
now you know where the light switch is
so you WON'T BE IN THE DARK NEXT TIME!!




« Last Edit: September 28, 2019, 09:59:46 PM by krimster2 »

Offline BillyB

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #197 on: September 28, 2019, 09:46:54 PM »
Then you finish for somehow making the leap that her lack of desire to talk to me just because I told her no is also my fault because once again in your crazy word I accused her of being of bad character and a scammer. Which I have never so much as indicated to her. But you, of course, know that I did this.


At this point, it triggers my trust issues and I ask a few questions. She answers them but she is watching my face on skype and she is very perceptive. She knows my communication and my face very well.


Yes, you indicated she is of bad character and using you for money based off the questions you ask and facial expressions.

And I have good reason to believe to she was never in business. And if on the outside chance this building housed some Class A office space which it does not and it certainly would be the last place you would put it. Or are you an expert at commercial real estate in Ukraine about a building you have not seen. Or know nothing of.


I've been to the FSU over a dozen times. Sometimes my dates would take me into a run down building and in the basement there is a very nice restaurant. But you seem sure nice office space in ugly buildings aren't possible and is willing to let it affect your engagement and everything you built with the woman. Your engagement has successfully been affected. You should be happy that you dodged a bullet/gold digger and...………

I would also love to hear what she has to say. But how am I supposed to find that out? What do you suggest I do? Force her to respond to my texts and calls?


……..you shouldn't be eager to communicate with that woman again. Like you, she's seen enough and seems to have moved on instead of behaving like a scammer hanging on to you as long as possible hoping to get more money and trips around the world.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline scarface816

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #198 on: September 28, 2019, 10:12:01 PM »
Just making shit up as you go.

So now you know what my facial expressions were. lol

I think its time for your medication now.

And I need some commercial real estate advice from you also. Because you seem to know a lot about Class A office space. lol

Are you that hateful that you have to go to these lengths to make shit up?
« Last Edit: September 28, 2019, 10:17:21 PM by scarface816 »

Offline BC

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Re: Did I Screw Up?
« Reply #199 on: September 29, 2019, 03:28:02 AM »
scarface816,

around here, ask a question and you'll get a million answers from a bunch of unknown folks on the net that may or not be whom they represent.  IOW you'll get some good from folks with experience, some bad, some purely speculative answers from folks with no experience whatsoever, and yes some that might sound downright mean.

Welcome to the realm of internet fora ;)

Consider all responses, discard any you believe are not helpful to your quest and 'report to mod' posts you feel are unwarranted attacks that have little or nothing to do with the subject matter at hand.  I'm pretty sure reports get looked at and action is taken if deemed necessary.  Don't expect a hearing or trial though..  It's mainly a self-moderated forum.

Above all, never, ever take anything personally you see written here.  You do not know these folks and they do not know you... absolutely nothing is 'personal' on this board.

Some sage advice I heard somewhere: 'Don't let anything or anyone occupy space in your head that ain't paying rent'.

 

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